You Might Want to Rethink

J.D. Vance fired off a lighthearted joke about him and a couch -- and considering all the (unfounded) rumors about him and furniture ... you couldn't write a better script.

The vice presidential candidate spoke in Nevada Tuesday at a rally ... and during his remarks, he mentioned his wife of a decade, Usha -- implying she's not big on public speaking.

In fact, Vance says, if he calls her up to the stage -- she'll probably make him sleep on the couch ... an off-the-cuff comment that drew a few chuckles from the crowd, but which had the internet cracking up en masse.

Simone Biles paused her gold medal party Tuesday to take a shot at her former teammate ... and the troll job was executed so perfectly -- over TWO MILLION people threw it a "like."

The gymnastics G.O.A.T. hurled the barb at MyKayla Skinner hours after she, Suni Lee, Jordan Chiles and Jade Carey smoked the competition at the Olympics team final at Bercy Arena in Paris.

On IG, she posted four pics of her team celebrating their big dub ... with the caption, "lack of talent, lazy, olympic champions ❤️🥇."

Patrick Warburton is getting honest about his less-than-friendly encounter with Ellen DeGeneres ... which he says was caused when he rejected the comedian.

The actor swung by SiriusXM's "The Spotlight with Jessica Shaw," where he reflected on his guest role stint on Ellen's self-titled sitcom from the '90s. As he put it ... Ellen and her team were eager to have Patrick on for more episodes, but he turned down the gig ... as he was ready to "move on."

To Patrick's credit, he merely was done with guest starring roles ... so, he told Ellen and co. he had a conflict.

Josh Hartnett's diving into scary moments in his past ... revealing he left Hollywood because he was being stalked -- including by a man he says once arrived at his location with a gun.

The actor spoke with The Guardian via Zoom from his estate in Hampshire, England ... a sprawling countryside where he lives with his wife partly because living in L.A. started to feel too dangerous.

JH says it's not the only reason he left L.A. about 20 years ago ... but, it didn't help that people started showing up at his house.

Nelly Furtado says her daughter saved her upcoming album with some blunt advice ... calling her out for thinking auto-tune sounds cool.

The singer-songwriter spoke with NME all about her upcoming album "7" ... and, she admits she got a little crazy when it came to auto-tune before her daughter shut her down.

Furtado says her Nevis, 20, told her auto-tune's not cool, full stop ... so, it shouldn't come anywhere near her new record.

Now THIS is a debate -- the race for Sheriff in Florida's Palm Beach County has one candidate so fired up, he said what's really on his mind after getting roasted in a showdown with his rivals.

The debate went down by Zoom earlier this week, and Michael Gauger didn't mince his words ... firing back at fellow candidate Lauro Diaz by calling him a "f***ing ***hole!"

It all kickstarted when Diaz completely bypassed the other candidate, Alex Freeman, to declare the race was a two-man show, with his sights set squarely on Gauger.

A guest on FOX Business suggested Vice President Kamala Harris slept her way to the top live on the air -- and he did so by invoking none other than the now-viral Haliey Welch.

Author Alec Lace went on the network earlier this month to talk shop, and it quickly became clear he was no fan of Dems or the VP, especially when he referenced her in very vulgar terms.

The shocking moment is just now going viral because of Harris' presidential campaign.

Watch ... Lace was trashing Kamala, calling her the "DEI Vice President" and saying the Democratic party's prospects are grim. Then, he called KH the "original Hawk Tuah girl."

Disgraced sports play-by-play announcer Thom Brennaman is returning to the broadcast booth ... securing a job calling college football games four years after he resigned for hurling a homophobic slur on air.

Brennaman was working a game between the Cincinnati Reds and Kansas City Royals on Aug. 19, 2020, when, at one point in the broadcast, he was heard on a hot mic referring to a place as "one of the f** capitals of the world."

Brennaman then issued an apology later in the game ... which eventually was turned into a meme online, as he paused the mea culpa to call a Nick Castellanos home run before stating, "I don't know if I will be putting on this headset again."

Former "Bachelor" contestant Anna Redman says the backlash over her controversial post about her planned outfit for an Auschwitz visit included threats against her life.

Anna joined us on the latest episode of "The TMZ Podcast" and we asked her about the mostly negative reaction to her IG story from her visit to the notorious concentration camp.

In case you missed it ... Anna's been catching tons of heat online ever since she shared her clothing itinerary during a family trip to Auschwitz -- a black dress and white sandals -- along with the caption "The best packing 'hack' ... Is somebody going to match my freak?"

A female tourist in the UK is likely regretting one stop on her tour of London ... as she had an unfortunate encounter with one of King Charles' guard horses.

Check it out ... the woman barely has time to pose for a pic with the horse outside the Household Cavalry Museum when it chomps down on her arm -- prompting her to jump away and yell out in pain. The situation escalated when the tourist went down to the ground in pain, with police arriving to check on her.

While the incident is an unfortunate one, the woman was warned about the risk of injury ... in fact, you can peep the beware message in the video.

Elton John supposedly relieving himself in a shoe store has had unintended consequences for those who run the joint ... let's just say they're seeing a lot of yellow around the building lately.

Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ... the story about Elton allegedly leaking in the shoe store from a couple weeks ago has unfortunately inspired copycats ... all of whom seem to be taking their cues from EJ -- either as a prank on the shop, or just to be pricks.

Among some of the follow-up urine instances we're told have taken place ... one person peed in a bottle inside the store -- just like Elton himself allegedly did -- while another took a leak on the store's front steps, which our sources say the owner is sure was a streaming ode to EJ.

Bill and Hillary Clinton wasted no time throwing their support behind Kamala Harris ... adding they've never experienced anything that concerns them more than a second Trump term.

The former First Couple made the announcement on X soon after President Joe Biden said he wouldn't seek a second term ... abandoning his reelection bid.

The Clintons kicked off their statement by lauding Biden for all his hard work in public service ... specifically pointing out his economic accomplishments, and saying he'd worked hard to fulfill the Founding Fathers' goal of forming a more perfect union.

President Joe Biden's announcement dropping out of the 2024 presidential race has Republicans up in arms ... 'cause they're demanding Biden step down -- saying he can't be president if he's not up to run again.

Several prominent Republicans in Congress are now calling on Biden to resign from the highest office in the land ... arguing his abandoned reelection campaign says he's unfit for another race -- so clearly, he's unfit to hold the job.

Speaker of the House Mike Johnson posted a statement to X ... saying the Democrats just forced their supporters' chosen nominee off the ballot -- essentially invalidating the millions of votes cast for him.

Donald Trump's reacting to Joe Biden dropping out of the presidential race -- claiming this always should've happened 'cause the dude wasn't fit to be president.

The Republican candidate for president posted to Truth Social just moments ago ... calling the sitting president "Crooked Joe Biden" and claiming he wasn't ever supposed to attain the highest office in the land.

DJT says Biden won the presidency via lies, the fake news media and by sitting at home in the lead-up to 2020 instead of actively campaigning like he did.

The assassination attempt of Donald Trump brought his former physician Ronny Jackson rushing to his side to render aid ... but, it appears Jackson's medical licenses are expired.

TMZ has checked, and it turns out Jackson's Virginia medical license expired back in 2020 ... so, technically it seems he's not allowed to treat patients.

The Dallas Morning News reports he's still American Board of Emergency Medicine certified to provide emergency medical services ... a certification that lasts until 2025.

Bianca Censori has gone from risqué outfits to basically nothing at all -- 'cause here, she's literally got her tatas out for everyone to see ... with a thin veil of an attempt to cover up.

Kanye West's wife -- famous for walking around in everything but her birthday suit -- seems to have wandered over into stark naked territory after pushing the envelope for months ... or at the very least, she was doing that upstairs ... 'cause her bare breasts were on display.

Indeed ... Bianca was leaving a tanning salon in L.A. Monday -- and on her way out to her car, she stepped out in this little number, which was devoid of any sort of bra under her top.