Usher and Tameka

Usher and his ex-wife Tameka Raymond have gotten an ultimatum in their custody war -- they're at the Atlanta courthouse trying to settle it, and if they can't the judge is going to lay down the law.

The singer and his ex-wife showed up to Fulton County Court this morning -- where a judge ordered the couple to try and hash out a temporary custody agreement in private mediation.

They've had all morning to work something out -- but if they don't come to terms soon ... they'll face the judge again this afternoon ... when he'll impose a temporary order, deciding how Usher and Tameka will split their time with their kids.

The order will also address child support.

Usher says there is noooooooo way he is going to foot the bill so his ex-wife Tameka can pay for her legal battle against him ... this according to new documents filed in their ongoing custody case.

As TMZ first reported, Tameka wants Usher to write a check for $50,000 to cover her costs as the two trade legal shots in their fight for custody of their two children.

Usher finds that request absurd ... saying in court docs filed earlier this month that Tameka has consistently defied court orders and filed frivolous motions, like the one trying to force him to take a drug test.

Usher claims he's already forked over 25k for her attorneys and has shouldered the brunt of the financial associated with this case, especially when it comes to their kids.

Bottom line ... Usher feels Tameka's actions "directly harm the best interests of the minor children. Clearly, such actions should not be tolerated, much less rewarded."

Usher's ex-wife Tameka Raymond is asking the singer to dig his own legal grave -- by handing over $50,000 to cover HER attorney's fees and other legal investments she's made ... to strip him of child custody.

Tameka filed the docs in Fulton County Superior Court in Georgia -- asking a judge to force Usher to pay her $15,000 to cover her expensive lawyer fees ... plus an additional $35,000 for other costs.

According to the docs, the other costs in their custody dispute include the retention of various expert witnesses, hiring private investigators, and procuring out-of-state depositions.

Tameka claims she's entitled to the money because of the vast disparity in income between her and her ex -- a disparity that puts her at a disadvantage while she's trying to build her case.

Usher is firing back at his ex-wife -- insisting he's a good dad who deserves to see his kids ... and NEVER cancelled her Saks 5th Avenue credit card.

TMZ broke the story ... Tameka Raymond asked a Georgia court last month for full custody of their two kids -- claiming Usher has continually dropped the ball as a parent ... failing to get her permission to travel with their kids, hiring nannies without her approval ... the list goes on.

Tameka also claimed Usher callously closed her Saks 5th Avenue credit card -- and now she can't take advantage of the "special benefits" the card offers.

But Usher claims it's all BS -- filing his own response in the ongoing custody battle ... asking a judge to reject Tameka's request for full custody, on grounds her allegations are false.

Usher and Tameka currently share joint physical custody of the kids.

As TMZ previously reported, Tameka has also tried numerous times to get the judge to force Usher to submit to a drug test. So far, no luck.

Usher's ex-wife Tameka Raymond is freaking out that testing the singer for drugs will soon be useless -- because the more time that passes, the more time Usher has to cleanse his system of illicit substances.

In case you haven't been following -- Tameka demanded Usher take a drug test recently because she thinks the singer is popping pills and who-knows-what-else around their kids.

Usher refused on grounds Tameka's demands were "frivolous and unfounded" and only intended to “harass and embarrass” the singer. But now, Tameka's lawyers are taking her case back to the judge in the ex-couple's custody war, pleading with the court to force Usher to take the test despite his refusal.

And according to the docs, Tameka wants the court to make it snappy -- claiming, any further delay will allow Usher to "cleanse" any evidence of drugs from his system.

Usher's ex-wife wants to take away his kids ... claiming the singer has repeatedly blown off his legal obligations as a co-parent ... and even worse -- he CLOSED her Saks 5th Avenue credit card ... this according to court docs obtained by TMZ.

Tameka Raymond -- who had 2 kids with Usher during their brief 2 year marriage -- filed court papers in Georgia ... asking a judge to strip Usher of joint physical custody of their children ASAP.

According to the docs, Tameka claims Usher has repeatedly FAILED to obtain her permission to travel outside the state with the kids ... which he's legally obligated to do.

But there's more ... a lot more.

Tameka also claims Usher is required and has failed to:
-- get her approval before hiring nannies
-- give her first shot to watch the kids when he's away for more than 8 hours
-- allow her to take the kids for 2-weeks in the summer of 2011
-- let her have custody of the kids during Christmas break 2010

Tameka also claims Usher closed her Saks 5th Avenue credit card -- which he specifically said he wouldn't do -- and now she can no longer take advantage of the "special benefits" the card offers.

According to the docs, Usher also promised to pay $5k per month so Tameka could hire her own nanny for the kids -- but he hasn't paid in months, and now owes $34,000 worth of payments.

Tameka also claims there has been a "substantial change in [Usher's] income" since they got divorced -- and because of his success, she should get even more money for child support.

A hearing on the matter is scheduled for Wednesday. Stay tuned ...

TMZ has obtained a copy of a letter Vivid Entertainment honcho Steve Hirsch sent to Usher -- and shockingly ... Hirsch offers to help Usher STOP distribution of the tape.

Mind you ... Hirsch is the guy who put out Kim K, Kendra Wilkinson and Montana Fishburne's sex tapes -- but in the letter to Ush he says, "As a result of this being an intimate and very personal tape we can certainly understand why you would want to stop its distribution."

Hirsch goes on to say he's shut down "many celebrity sex tapes" ... and claims he's willing to do the same for Usher.

TMZ was approached several days ago by someone claiming to have the sex tape. The person sent us a short video and two photos. We'll keep this PG-13 and just say ... the people in the video are both givers.

The video and photos are clear -- it's Usher and Tameka.

Sources close to Usher -- without specifically admitting the existence of a sex tape -- tell us they believe this video could have been among the things Usher had stolen out of his car back in December 2009. Usher reported more than $1,000,000 worth of jewelry and electronics taken -- including two laptop computers.

A rep for Usher had no comment.

It all went down in Atlanta on December 14th -- Usher and a friend were in an AT&T store when someone broke into his GMC Yukon and took whatever they could get.

According to the police report, Usher claims the bandit made off with all sorts of Xmas gifts and personal belongings including $50,000 in furs, a computer and more than a million bucks in jewelry that he happened to have in the car at the time.

Usher told police he's worried about some never-before heard voice tracks that were on the computer.

An AT&T employee claims she saw the whole thing go down, but when contacted by MyFOXAtlanta -- she claims she's too afraid to talk about it for fear of retaliation.

The couple married in August, 2007. They have two small kids together.

A source connected with the couple tells TMZ Usher signed the divorce papers in August, but the change in the court file occurred today.

UPDATE: TMZ spoke with Tameka's lawyer who tells us despite what the court record says, "The case being 'disposed' is incorrect.'"

A rep for Tameka adds, "They are still married."

During the call, Usher explains to the operator that he had called cops the night before to file "a complaint because of potential domestic violence between me and my ex wife."

He then tells the operator that when he woke up the following morning, a person who was fixing a flat tire on his truck noticed that it had been keyed up on the side. During the call, Usher never directly accuses Tameka -- but insinuates that the scratch occurred as a result of the incident the night before.

According to the reports, Usher told the Johns Creek Police Department that on Sept. 10, he had a "verbal argument" with Tameka over the phone regarding weekend custody of their children.

Usher told cops that after the argument, he dropped his kids off at his mother's house -- but when he drove back to his home, Tameka showed up "demanding to take the kids." Usher claims Tameka eventually left and he drove back to his mother's house -- but when Usher got there, Tameka showed up and began "knocking on the door" and making several phone calls to the residence.

Usher claims he and his mom ignored Tameka -- and eventually called police. When cops arrived, Tameka was nowhere to be found.

The next day, Usher called police again after he noticed several scratches on his truck -- Usher told cops he believed Tameka vandalized the car in retaliation for their fight just hours before.

Law enforcement sources tell us when officers arrived at the scene, Tameka Raymond was nowhere to be found.

Police later interviewed both Tameka and Usher -- but determined there was no evidence or witnesses to substantiate Usher's claim.

But the drama didn't end there -- law enforcement sources tell us Usher called the cops on Tameka a second time several days later, complaining that Tameka again got onto his property and wouldn't leave. By the time cops arrived, Tameka had already split.

Usher filed for divorce back in June ... but it hasn't been finalized just yet.

UPDATE: TMZ just received the following statement from Tameka's rep:

"This is just another attempt to disparage Tameka. It's simply an angry ploy that has no merit.

Tameka's own truck was scratched but it's not clear how. The truck is registered in her name, it's not even Usher's car. Why would she vandalize her own vehicle?"