Tying The Knot

It's a real oxymoron ... Kanye West realized Kim Kardashian was the girl he wanted to marry when she blew it.

A new remix for Beyonce and Jay Z's "Drunk in Love" was released Saturday featuring Kanye ... where Yeezus raps about stuff like Kim's ass and his least favorite sex positions.

But the craziest part ... Kanye flows about the first time he realized Kim could be his future wife -- saying, "I impregnated your mouth, girl, oooh ... that's when I knew you could be my spouse, girl."

Sean Lowe's face says it all ... he's finally having sex -- a big deal for the former 'Bachelor' who claimed he was a "born again" virgin.

Yeah ... we're thinking guys can't actually be one of those, right? Women, on the other hand ...

Christina Aguilera just gave her production assistant a huge promotion -- fiance.

Matt Rutler met Christina on the set of the 2010 film "Burlesque," where he worked as a P.A.

She was divorced and he was there ... and they hooked up. They're living together in her new, $10 million mansion.

Lots of people thought it wouldn't last, but now -- 3 years later -- she just posted a Facebook pic of an ENORMOUS ring with the caption, "He asked and I said ......"

As for who plunked down money for the ring ......

It's official ... Mt. Sean Lowe has erupted -- the ex 'Bachelor' is walking around with a grin that can only mean he finally cleared his pipes by losing his alleged virginity a few weeks after getting married.

Lowe couldn't contain his joy at LAX on Thursday ... exactly 18 days after tying the knot with Catherine Giudici.

The 30-year-old insurance salesman and fitness model claimed he was saving himself for marriage.

So ... 18 days later. Still smiling ear-to-ear? Way to go, Catherine.

Love sucks -- at least for supermodel Alessandra Ambrosio, who stepped out in L.A. Thursday with what appears to be a GIANT HICKEY on her neck.

Alessandra was with her millionaire businessman fiance Jamie Mazur at the time, so it makes sense. Especially since today is Valentine's Day (sorry for the reminder).

Gabrielle Union is lying through her big, beautiful teeth ... at least when it comes to her pre-nup -- because she says she's demanding one with Dwyane Wade ... and it makes NO sense.

Union went on "Arsenio Hall" last night and said she's demanding a prenuptial agreement before they tie the knot "at my insistence."

She explained, "I gotta protect my stuff" ... adding, "When you have your own stuff you don't need to worry about anyone else's stuff."

Only problem is ... it's not HER stuff that needs protecting, since Dwyane has gotta be worth at least 10 TIMES what she's worth. In fact, he's currently toward the end of a 6-year, $107 million contract with the Miami Heat.

AND he's expected to sign ANOTHER HUGE CONTRACT sometime in the next year ... some say it could be worth as much as $100 mil.

Let's do some simple math. Even if she's worth $20 mil ... he could be somewhere in the $200 MILLION range.

So, if they continue that financial pattern and he makes 10-times what she makes ... she's saying she would rather walk away with a tenth of what she COULD get.

Kate Upton's sending a message to her baseball star boyfriend -- get on your game or your gonna lose me ... to a guy who dresses up as a dragon for a living!

We got Kate BOUNCING (if you know what we mean) through LAX ... on her way back from Orlando, FL -- where, If you missed it, she got a marriage proposal from the Orlando Magic mascot over the weekend.

Thing is ... Stuff the dragon kinda snaked Kate's bf, Detroit Tigers ace Justin Verlander -- waiting until he walked away from their seats to pop the question..

Watch the vid (especially if you're Verlander) ... Kate says the proposal was a "huge honor" -- and definitely did NOT say she's turning down the dude who plays dress up.

File this under cheapest proposal ever -- Diddy (who's worth a reported $580 million) may have popped the question to his longtime GF Cassie ... on Instagram.

Granted, the rock is roughly the size of Pluto ... but rather than renting out a baseball stadium and proposing in front of an orchestra, Diddy posted a photo of the ring on Instagram for his 3.2 million followers.

Hours later, Keyshia Cole posted a photo of Cassie showing off the rock ... it's enormous ... but we still gotta ask ...

Julie Chen is going back to her Chinese roots -- giving her maiden name top billing ... over Les Moonves no less!

When Julie married CBS honcho Leslie Moonves back in 2004, she changed her legal name to Julie Moonves. But since then she's had a string of big jobs, including host of "The Talk" and "Big Brother," as well as anchor on the "CBS Early Show" -- where she was billed as Chen.

This created problems. Julie tells TMZ, "Some places list me as one last name versus the other and when you have to show ID ... like at The White House or airport it could stall things when it was not a match... It was a hassle." Jeez ... how cool is that -- a hassle at The White House. It's like "Scandal" only real.

So Julie has filed a petition to change her name again -- this time to Julie Chen Moonves -- no hyphen. We're guessing the judge will approve the petition because everyone in L.A. wants a job with Les and we're guessing he's down with the change.

The 33-couple wedding during Macklemore and Ryan Lewis' performance at the Grammys was the feel good moment of the night ... except for one man -- who did everything he could to stop the love of his life from tying the knot.

Michael Politz tells TMZ ... he learned Sunday his ex-girlfriend Tammy (pictured below last night) would be saying "I Do" to her new dude during the "Same Love" performance ... and went into a panic trying to shut it down.

Michael says he called everyone under the sun who might be attending the awards ... so they could tell Tammy how he felt -- including Vince Neil -- but none could make it happen.

"I'm heartbroken" Michael says. Adding, "I don't know if I'll ever trust again."

Newlywed Tammy Grabel tells TMZ ... "Michael is a broken hearted ex-boyfriend. Seth and I are very happy to be married ... I had no idea Michael was trying to stop our wedding."

Guessing he assumed it would end like this.

Move over Vince Vaughn ... DMX just opened up shop on a group of groomsmen heading to their buddy's wedding -- and the footage is AWESOME!

The groom's wedding party ran into X Saturday afternoon in their New York hotel lobby ... and after the rapper posed for some pictures they boarded their party bus -- says one of the groomsmen.

Inspired by the meeting, the group turned on some of DMX's music and egged him to hop aboard ... and that's when the magic happened.

Terrell Owens is officially off the market ... 'cause the ex-NFL star just got MARRIED in a secret wedding in Norwalk, CA ... TMZ Sports has learned.

We broke the story ... 40-year-old Owens recently obtained a marriage certificate to get hitched to 33-year-old Rachel Snider, a former postal worker from Texas.

Now, we've learned the two swapped "I dos" during a very low key ceremony at the courthouse in Norwalk.

Sources tell TMZ Sports the ceremony was so down low, they didn't even exchange rings ... and raced in and out of the courthouse to avoid attention.

It's T.O.'s first marriage -- though he has 4 kids from previous relationships. She has 1.

WWE Diva Brie Bella's bachelorette party wasn't filled with muscular dudes thrusting their junk in her face ... it was packed with a bunch of hairy chicks instead.

Brie and her sister Nikki Bella celebrated Saturday night at Prep Kitchen in San Diego ... and judging by the photos, some of the bridal party enjoyed the fake beards a little too much -- we're looking at you four-eyes.

Brie's wedding to WWE Superstar Daniel Bryan -- who also has a giant beard -- is expected to be filmed for the second season of their reality show, "Total Divas."

Shayne Lamas -- who decided to marry her hubby HOURS after meeting him at a drunken pool party -- is re-writing all the rules of marriage ... 'cause not only is she still with the dude ... they're still HAVING SEX.

We know that ... because sources close to Shayne tell us she's pregnant again.

We told you their story ... Shayne is a former winner of "The Bachelor" who fell in love with TheDirty.com founder Nik Richie 4 years ago at a wild Vegas pool party ... and hours later decided to get hitched.

NO ONE expected it to last. But Shayne and Nik are still going strong ... they have a 2-year-old daughter named Press -- and now we're told Shayne's 16 weeks pregnant with their 2nd baby.

Bobbi Kristina and her "adopted" brother/new husband SAY Grandma Cissy Houston gave them her blessing to tie the knot ... but we're told that couldn't be further from the truth.

Bobbi Kristina and Nick Gordon are now married, and they proudly told us so. They also claimed they attended a Sweet 16 soiree, and that's where Cissy gave her thumbs up.

But our Houston family sources say they were at the party ... neither BK nor Nick ever asked Cissy for her approval.

In fact we're told Granny Houston was PISSED when she found out the two tied the knot last week ... but realized there's nothing she could do it about it.

Bobbi Kristina Brown confirms she and Nick Gordon have transitioned ... from "adopted" brother and sister to husband and wife -- but Whitney Houston's daughter says they got permission from grandma first.

BK and Gordon were doing the newlywed strut in Atlanta Friday ... when a photog asked about their recent nuptials.

The couple was tight lipped on details -- except to hint about a big upcoming ceremony -- but they added ... Cissy Houston OK'd the marriage before they did the deed.