Today I Learned

Ferraris apparently aren't fast enough for Justin Bieber .... 'cause the singer has just been booked on a ROCKETSHIP DESTINED FOR SPACE ... so says Virgin Galactic honcho Richard Branson.

Branson himself confirmed that Biebs and manager Scooter Braun are on the V.G. manifest, tweeting this morning: "Great to hear @justinbieber & @scooterbraun are latest @virgingalactic future astronauts. Congrats, see you up there!"

Branson's venture just completed its first rocket-powered test last month, and the company is planning to start commercial flights next year -- plenty of time for Bieber to order a tacky, blinged-out astronaut suit.

Tickets reportedly start around $250k ... but it's unclear if JB is paying for the ride himself ... or if the trip will be comped.

No word on when Bieber is scheduled for lift off.

We now know why Ke$ha felt compelled to brush her teeth with a bottle of Jack ... 'cause the pop singer says she once drank her own pee!!!!

Ke$ha leaked the information to BBC 1 radio, saying she imbibed her own urine while filming an upcoming MTV documentary called "Ke$ha: My Crazy Beautiful Life."

The 25-year-old said her journalist brother filmed the doc over the last 2-and-a-half years, claiming, "He got all the things you would want to see and all the things you wouldn’t really want to see -- making out with dudes, drinking my own pee, jumping out of a building, jumping out of aeroplanes, swimming with sharks ..."

She added, "I was told drinking my own pee was good ... Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, 'That is mine!' So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross so I don't do it anymore."

La Toya Jackson wants nothing but the BEST for her two dogs -- telling TMZ, her little flea bags drink ONLY Fiji-brand water.

La Toya was out in Beverly Hills Sunday night when we asked her all about her two pups -- named Prince and Paris ... after La Toya's famous niece and nephew.

And that's when she dropped the bombshell -- telling our camera guy, her furry friends ONLY drink that ridiculously expensive Fiji-brand artesian water in those clear plastic bottles.

WWE Hall of Famer Tony Atlas loves women's feet so much ... he actually pays them to stomp him in the face -- and he's so proud of his masochistic fetish, he willingly shows off video footage of the face torture ... starring himself.

TMZ has obtained video of Atlas at an indie wrestling event in Maine last week -- and in the extremely bizarre clip, Atlas gleefully shares some face-stomping footage with a fellow wrestler ... footage Atlas commissioned himself.

We're told the original video was shot some time in 2005 -- just one year before Atlas (a pre-Hulk wrestling legend) was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame -- and it shows Atlas taking a giant Doc Marten to the dome.

The camera then pans out from the video monitor -- revealing Atlas sporting the world's smuggest grin on his face. You gotta see it to believe it.

And the best part -- we reached out to Atlas this week about the video, and he told TMZ he has absolutely no shame ... and proudly shows off the stomping tape any time he gets the chance. (FYI -- Atlas says he paid the big-booted woman $100 for her services)

Atlas tells us he's not just into terrifyingly large boots either, he loves all kinds of footwear ... especially Vans ... and his ideal woman MUST have oversized feet.

Atlas added, "I, Tony 'Mr. USA' Atlas, WWE Hall of Famer, am free to be me. And there is nothing greater on this Planet Earth than to get kicked and punched in the face by a big-footed girl."

The movie "Street Fighter" will now be known for more that just being one of the worst movies of all-time -- it will be known as the movie that led to Jean-Claude Van Damme having an affair with Kylie Minogue.

JCVD made the startling and completely unnecessary revelation to The Guardian while promoting his new movie, "Expendables 2." When asked about the fling, Van Damme stammered his way through one of the greatest answers ever ... saying:

"I tell you what, you should ask her. She'll have a better memory. I'm 51 years old, do you know how much I was punched in the face on The Expendables? No, no. No. And let's just say it happened, so what? Who wants to know? ... Sometimes you let go of stuff ... I don't know, maybe. Yes. OK. Yes, yes, yes. It happened. I was in Thailand, we had an affair."

He then goes on to give a little more detail than anyone wanted to hear, explaining:

"Sweet kiss, beautiful lovemaking. It would be abnormal not to have had an affair, she's so beautiful and she was there in front of me every day with a beautiful smile, simpatico, so charming, she wasn't acting like a big star. I knew Thailand very well, so I showed her my Thailand. She's a great lady."

"Street Fighter" was released in 1994, but it's unclear when exactly it was shot. Van Damme was married to wife #3 until 1992 (though he re-married her in 1999) and married wife #4 in February 1994 ... so it's unclear whether or not JCVD was cheating on either of them at the time.

The more you know.

Ne-Yo dropped an AVALANCHE of singles on Drake's ex-girlfriend's naked body Wednesday night ... a chick who happens to be a VERY famous stripper ... and TMZ has the pics.

Sources tell us, Ne-Yo burned roughly $5,000 at the famous Diamonds strip club in ATL -- a large portion of which was spent trying to impress a certain Maliah ... a famous stripper who dated both Drake AND Sean Kingston.

Go ahead, Google her.

Mariah Carey just became the HIGHEST PAID JUDGE in reality television ... because her one-year deal with "American Idol" is worth close to $18 MILLION ... this according to sources connected to "Idol."

Carey's deal dwarfs the contract Jennifer Lopez signed when she joined the judge's table -- J.Lo only scored a measly $12 mil for her first year on the show.

Carey also blows past Britney Spears ... who's making $15 million on "X Factor."

Somewhere ... Nick Cannon is smiling.

Washington Redskins offensive lineman Trent Williams is 6'5" and weighs 318 pounds, so just imagine how much ink was used to slap a gigantic tattoo on his back.

WIlliams -- whose self-annointed nickname is "The Silverback" due to his aforementioned massive size -- got the tat a few months back of ... what else ... a silverback gorilla.

The ink cost Williams around $3,000 (plus a "nice tip") ... courtesy of Sergio Garcia at Ultimate Designz in Miami. We're told Williams had to sit through two separate seven-hour sessions ... which he took like a champ.

Hard to imagine a man that size crying.

After less than 650 days of marriage -- "Spy Kids" star Alexa Vega took a cue from Katie Holmes' playbook and officially pulled the plug on her marriage to a much older man, TMZ has learned.

The 23-year-old actress -- who played Carmen Cortez in the "SK" franchise -- filed docs in L.A. Superior Court recently ... citing irreconcilable differences with her 36-year-old husband Sean Covel.

In the docs, Vega lists the date of separation as March 5th, 2012 ... meaning the couple was separated for several months before the actress decided to legally axe the union.

Vega and Covel were married October 10, 2010 in South Dakota ... the actress was just 21 at the time -- but you can check her out (below) at age 6, starring opposite Rick Moranis in "Little Giants."

They grow up so fast.

Biz Markie is not only a hip-hop legend ... he's now a children's television superstar on "Yo Gabba Gabba!" -- and we got Biz to break down his kiddie beat box skills.

Country singer Luke Bryan admits ... he was reading from his hand and his watch while performing the National Anthem at the MLB All-Star game yesterday ... and says he can explain the whole thing.

Bryan came under fire from critics who claimed checking one's watch while singing the Anthem is plain disrespectful.

But Bryan went to his Twitter page moments ago hoping to clear things up.

Bryan wrote, "I did check my watch because I knew the stealth bomber would fly over 2 minutes in and I knew a [sic] started a little late."

Mr. Woodchuck -- Uncle Joey's faithful puppet on "Full House" -- was gruesomely disfigured in a freak accident 17 years ago ... and now, Mr. Woodchuck is finally showing his face ... or what's left of it.

Dave Coulier -- who played Uncle Joey on the show -- dug up the old puppet from storage for a "Funny or Die" sketch, joking that Comet (the Tanner family dog) chewed up Mr. Woodchuck's foam face.

But Comet's just a scapegoat -- in reality, Mr. Woodchuck was the victim of Coulier's own dog who got a hold of the puppet soon after the show wrapped for good in 1995.

We're told Coulier's new video is scheduled to debut in the near future -- with a bonus cameo by everyone's favorite annoying neighbor ... Kimmy Gibbler.

First off ... there are 2 bands called One Direction. Second off ... the unfamous One Direction sued the famous One Direction for allegedly jacking the name. Third off ... now the famous One Direction is countersuing the unfamous One Direction, saying the famous band had the name first.

The famous band now claims it has achieved "global fame and success" and some local knock-off is now trying to ride its coattails. The unfamous One Direction begs to differ.

Forget waterboarding, Guantanamo Bay prisoners are now being tortured by BIG BIRD -- at least according to a new documentary released by Al Jazeera.

According to the doc -- called "Songs of War" -- detainees at the U.S. Naval base have been forced to wear headphones blaring Sesame Street music on repeat for hours or days on end ... to break their will (start at 2:00).

Award-winning Sesame Street composer Christopher Cerf tells Al Jazeera, "My first reaction was this just can't possibly be true ... "

Cerf says, "Of course I didn't really like the idea that I was helping break down prisoners, but it was much worse when I heard later that they were actually using the music in Guantanamo to do deep, long-term interrogations and obviously to inflict enough pain on prisoners so they would talk."