The View

"The View" star was leaving court in Los Angeles when we asked her if divorce had made her bitter toward marriage -- she said no ... in fact, she "loves marriage" and she'd "absolutely" do it again ... just not with her ex.

Barbara Walters announced this morning that she will be undergoing heart surgery later this week.

During today's episode of "The View," Walters said she will be having a defective heart valve replaced. She told viewers, "You know how I always say to you how healthy I am ... I've never missed a day's work ... later this week, I'm going to have surgery to replace one faulty heart valve.

She continued, "Lots of people have done this and I have known about this condition for a while now."

Whoopi's expression says it all.

The limber, 62-year-old went on "The View" this morning where he rocked out another rendition of the "American Idol" instant classic -- and revealed that he observed a droopy-bottomed person sucking on a baby bottle when he was inspired to write the song.

Platt's revelation could only mean 2 things -- either the pants-wearer was a grown man in desperate need of a belt ... or Platt wrote a song about an infant.

Rachel Uchitel heard Joy Behar's apology on "The View" this morning loud and clear -- and she forgives the gals for calling her a hooker on last week's show.

Rachel's lawyer, Gloria Allred, released a statement that read in part, "We accept ABC's apology and this resolves the matter with ABC. Our action and this apology should also send a message to the public that Rachel values her reputation and that she will consider all of her legal options against anyone or any entity which defames her."

Just moments ago on-air, Behar read the same statement that was sent out via press release last week ... and she didn't look happy about it.

As we previously reported, Rachel threatened to sue "The View" over Joy's comment -- and Allred didn't feel the written apology the show released was good enough.

Rachel's lawyer, Gloria Allred, wants "The View" to air the apology on the show -- or it doesn't count.

Rachel threatened to sue "The View" over Joy Behar's joke on Thursday's show: "Yeah, you-ka-tell she's a hooker." The show has already issued a written apology ... but Gloria says the mea culpa needs a mic.

A rep for the show tells TMZ: "Joy Behar made a play on Ms. Uchitel's name. This was intended as a joke. We sincerely apologize for the choice of words and for any misimpression the joke may have created."

The play on words: Joy saying "Yeah, you-ka-tell she's a hooker."

Rachel Uchitel is threatening to sue the ladies at "The View" -- or at least one of them -- for suggesting she's a hooker.

Gloria Allred, lawyer for Tiger Wood's alleged mistress #1, is pissed that Joy Behar joked on the show on Thursday, "Yeah, you-ka-tell she's a hooker."

Gloria says the statement was false, defamatory and highly offensive -- and hurtful, too.

G.A. says Rachel is "not amused" because "she values her reputation and her reputation has been damaged..."

ABC had previously dropped Lambert from two of the network's shows, in response to catching the network "off-guard" when he improvised his act at the American Music Awards -- and made out with a dude ... something ABC claims he didn't do in rehearsal.

But after taking sharp criticism for their decision, ABC is extending the olive branch -- with an invitation to perform on a December 10 episode of "The View."

Wonder how Elisabeth Hasselbeck will take the news...

For the record -- Whoopi "rape rape" Goldberg was the only one who looked disturbed by the joke. You can hear someone on the set say, "Whoaaa!" -- but it's unclear whose mouth it came from.

Thanks to Jezebel for pointing it out.

Swift was on "The View" just moments ago and says she was "rattled" by West's stage rush ... but added she would be willing to meet and call a truce.

A lucid Mischa said she was already "overwhelmed" by work when she went in for surgery, which only made things worse. Barton says she was sent to the psychiatric ward because, "If you say anything, like, negative in the hospital and they think you're a risk to yourself, they hold you, they won't let you go."

Mischa said she hit "rock bottom," but is "fine" now and called the whole ordeal a "wake-up call."

Conrad was on "The View" this morning, and when asked about Spencer Pratt's apology phone call to her in the season finale, she said she wasn't even on the other end of the line.

In other breaking news: The sky is blue.