The View

After using hand motions to describe how to accurately decapitate a chicken, grossing out the audience more than she usually does, polite talk then resumed. Now Lizzy's in the soup with PETA, and they had this nugget for the right wing chicken winger:

"PETA has two words for Hasselbeck, 'Cluck you!' Next to Barbara and Joy, who expressed compassion, Elisabeth sat there chirping about the joys of killing defenseless birds. Conservatives love animals too, and she ruffled a lot of feathers today. Now that Whoopi has joined the show, maybe it's time for Hasslebeck's head to go on the chopping block."

What some may not remember: Goldberg had her own syndicated talk show: "The Whoopi Goldberg Show," which aired for one unmemorable season in 1992-93. The show was informal, had no house band, no co-hosts -- and no viewers! Oy vey! The talker was quickly cancelled and nearly as quickly forgotten ... until now.

Whoopi also had a brief foray into sitcomville with her uniquely titled, "Whoopi." Viewers had other plans. The comedienne won an Oscar in 1990 for "Ghost," and hosted the Oscars several times. While she was (sorta) successful with "Hollywood Squares," she had ample support from a rotating cast of Xs and Os.

Give the ladies on "The View" a rabbit's foot ... they bettah keep their fingahs crossed!

When asked what she would be looking forward to the most and the least, Whoopi replied: "I'm looking forward to the hot topics. The thing I'm looking forward to the least is getting in between everyone talking at one time."

Sources tell TMZ, "View" execs wanted a black woman who was funny. They also wanted a funny white woman but Roseanne was too expensive and they felt she was past her prime. And as for Gayle King, we're told, "it just wasn't happening."

And what about Sherri Shepherd, widely rumored to be the fifth member of Babwa's merry band? In Touch reports that Walters was all set to annouce Sherri today as well, but last minute talks stalled, with ABC balking at Shepherd's demand of $2 million per year, which is what Whoopi's making. What's more, ABC is said to be resuming talks with CNN's Jacque Reid.

Shepherd's rep tells TMZ, "They are talking but there's no news." The "View's" rep tells us that producers "are having ongoing discussions with several people."

Of course, no "View" post would be complete without some weigh-in from Rosie O'Donnell. What sayeth she? "Whoopi is perfect for the job and she is one of my favorites. She is absolutely amazing!"

Someone call Joe Francis and tell him we're ready for that "Girls Gone Gravid" spin-off.

Right-winging princess of perk Elisabeth Hasselbeck decided to get all flashy on "The View" when she responded to den mama Baba Wawa's lament about not being able to show pregnancy during her days on the "Today" show -- and exposed her burgeoning belly (she's due in November) to the world. Walters just about plotzed when E did her thing, and Joy didn't think we'd want to see her or Sherri lift up their shirts. Correct.

"The View" got their claws all over Roboho-gate this morning, with Sherri Shepherd calling Rev. Al Sharpton "silly" for slamming TMZ -- and even Elisabeth Hasselbeck said that the Rev. tussled with the wrong website!

Shepherd took the strongest line against Sharpton, saying he was "silly" for criticizing our use of "Roboho," and reiterating -- yet again -- that it was her outfit, not the singer herself, on which TMZ was commenting.

Alexandra Wentworth, comedian/actress wife of perky ABC newsman George Stephanopoulos, was guest co-host this morning, when the yentas tackled the subject of Katie Couric's move to CBS Evening News. As Babwa and the gang talked about how younger people don't watch news on television, Wentworth said she gets all the info she needs from "Jon Stewart, then I go to SNL and then I go to TMZ," leaving hubby Georgie off the list!

First "Entourage," then TIME names us one of the 25 sites they can't live without, and now "The View," -- this TMZ thing sho iz gettin' popular!

Walters recounted their little chat on "The View" this morning. Among the highlights: Paris says her "act" until now -- namely, playing a blonde heirhead -- is over, and that she's a totally different person after just a few days of jail. Indeed, proclaims Paris, "God has released" her spirit from its previous, uh, incarnation.

Apparently, Paris is also playing ping-pong, and maybe most shockingly of all, she tells Babwa that she hasn't looked in a mirror in days, and that her face is "very dry" for lack of moisturizer. She's served nine days, has fourteen left, and at this point, isn't sobbing, screaming or wailing in her cell, according to Walters.

said that split screen
that pushed me over the edge
was used before --
really, when?

called slugfest between me and e
"a little contretemps"
fancy euphemism for
i kicked some hasselbutt

speaking of e-beth
she said we were on road to reconciliation
that we exchanged messages
but no apology, still, on air.

whoopi chilled, said she was groovin'
but all 'view' and no ro
make morning tv
very dull watching

This morning, Ro posted a video montage on her blog titled "True Colors 2007," which includes a soundtrack by Cyndi Lauper and images of Babwa and Ro's right wing nemesis, Elisabeth. It also includes an image of Ro's eyes in the rearview mirror of a car. Symbolism?

Even though Rosie had already announced that she won't be back on the squabblefest next season, the mysterious message comes in the wake of Wednesday's RO vs. EH explosion, and has many convinced that O'Donnell's days on the show are already behind her.

Yo, ABC! Give us "The View" back!

The day after thermonuclear war broke out between Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck, "The View" was a placid (boring), supportive (boring), and happy (booooring) place once more, with Queen Babs back on her throne to restore order. Rosie was off celebrating partner Kelli's birthday, but the show didn't skirt around yesterday's slugfest, and guest co-host Kathy Griffin compared the dust-up to Christmas dinners in the Griffin family household.

Still, as of this morning, all Rosie was sayin' was that she didn't know when she'd be back -- if at all, according to her blog. And, more officially, Babwa called any suggestion that yesterday's fight was scripted "ridiculous."

"EXTRA" talked to the Donald last night, where he, of course, couldn't keep quiet about mortal enemy Rosie O'Donnell and her near-nuclear meltdown with Elisabeth Hasselbeck yesterday on "The View."

Trump says Elisabeth "is one of the dumber people on television" and "an imbecile" for supporting the war in Iraq -- and even crowned Rosie the winner of that feud. Not able to leave it at that, Trump had to make it known that he still thinks O'Donnell is "a very self destructive person."

Did Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck's ballistic warfare this morning push Ro over the edge -- and into an early exit from "The View?"

O'Donnell has three weeks left before she's done, but from the sound of her blog at rosie.com, even that might be too long for her to handle. "It may be time to be done," was what she wrote this afternoon, after the brutal verbal bashing she and Elisabeth smacked-down on one another, while also suggesting that it should be Elisabeth, not she, who should apologize for the dust-up.

Rosie clearly wasn't happy with producers of the show, who saw fit to split-screen the shouting match in flagrante, which made for riveting television, but unquestionably ratcheted up the rancor. "It was sickening," wrote Ro.

As usual, Rosie and Elisabeth started in on one another on the topic of Iraq, but it quickly got personal when Rosie, clearly still miffed that Elisabeth hadn't defended her over the whole soldiers-as-terrorists fracas, demanded to know whether Hasselbeck really thought Rosie felt that U.S. soldiers were terrorists, "as my friend, since September." When Elisabeth didn't give her a yes-or-no answer, the verbal fisticuffs began in earnest. In fact, producers saw fit to go split-screen, just to amp up the volume.

Name-calling ensued, with Rosie calling Elisabeth "cowardly," and Elisabeth spitting back at Ro that she's not "poor little Elisabeth," even smacking down guest co-host Sherri Shepherd's suggestion that she chill for the sake of her unborn child, saying, "The baby's FINE."

Rosie O'Donnell sure is itching to be done with "The View," and she's definitely not hiding her displeasure with her co-hosts after what she called an "explosive" day yesterday on the air.

Likening herself on her blog at rosie.com to a "senior in highschool [sic],", the talk queen made it clear that the end of June -- and her tenure on the show -- can't come fast enough. "It's sunny and i wanna stay home/be done/move on," she writes. "The end is always rocky/one must focus."

Ro also addressed yesterday's show, in which she came under fire for supposedly equating American soldiers with terrorists on a previous show (which she explained was a misinterpretation of her words). Several fans wrote in to point out that her co-hosts Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Joy Behar, and Barbara Walters seemed to "gang up" on her, with Babwa giving an especially pointed lesson in the definitions of "terrorist" and "jihadist."

So much for laying off Elisabeth.

Rosie O'Donnell went ballistic on her preggers "View" co-host Hasselbeck, pounding her for watching "crappy cable shows" -- namely the ones on FOX News -- and assailing her failure to weigh two viewpoints at the same time. Which Rosie does, of course, on a regular basis! Rosie had pledged to take it easy on E, given her gravid condition, but that didn't stop her this morning.

As ever, Babwa Walters tried to be Switzerland in the fray, but it didn't end up doing much.

Paris Hilton's mother Kathy took to the airwaves -- speaking through the oracle that is Barbara Walters on this morning's "The View" -- urging "young people who look up" to Paris to "learn" from her DUI arrest and impending imprisonment.

Babwa, friends with Kathy and husband "Ricky" for years, said she spoke to Mama Hilton yesterday, and read a brief statement from the convicted socialite's mom. "We can only hope that something positive will come out of this," said Walters for Kathy. "Hopefully the young people who look up to people like Paris can learn from this." Not to mention her videos.