The Lohans

Dina Lohan may not have encountered 15 men on a dead man's chest at a Labor Day party, but it sure looks like she found that bottle of rum.

Dina, who played Tennille to a very eccentric Captain -- millionaire Sir Ivan Wilzig -- partied Sunday at Ivan's estate ... which people call the Playboy Mansion of the East Coast.

Several party-goers tell TMZ ... Dina went full bore, slurring her speech and at times zoning out, as she bragged that Oprah was interviewing her today for the Lindsay Lohan docu-soap.

We're told Dina was telling people at the party -- billed as "Sailors and Sinner Soiree" -- she was a good mother. She also said there was nothing ever wrong with Lindsay.

Joan Rivers fired the opening shot at Lindsay Lohan, but says Michael Lohan crossed the line when he responded by calling Joan an addict ... to plastic surgery ... and she's ready to sue him for it.

TMZ spoke to Joan after MiLo ripped the "Fashion Police" host for making drug jokes about Lindsay. Michael claimed Joan is hooked on needles (i.e. botox) and cutting/self-mutilation (i.e. plastic surgery).

Now, Joan has a double-barreled response to Michael. First, attacking him for even defending Lindsay -- saying, "It's a little late to become a concerned parent."

Then also throwing down a legal threat, adding ... "As for 'cutting' it is totally not true and if he ever says this again, I will sue."

Lindsay Lohan should have learned 2 things over the last couple of years ... drugs are dangerous, and she's a dangerous driver .... maybe she learned only one of them.

Lindsay got behind the wheel of a Porsche Panamera Friday in New York City ... apparently heading for the Hamptons for the Labor Day weekend.

You may recall ... Lindsay has crashed various whips over the years -- slamming into semis, allegedly striking unsuspecting pedestrians, and taking the wheel in various altered states.

Lindsay Lohan's looking better than she has in years -- but you can still celebrate all her other ups, downs, boyfriends, girlfriends and arrests she's had ... with LiLo trading cards!

Calm down, sickos -- they're not real. Not yet, anyway.

Lindsay Lohan is fiercely defending her decision to hang with a friend who has an even more checkered past with drugs than her, and actually thinks it's a positive step for her recovery -- problem is ... she's delusional.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ ... she doesn't understand why her shopping trip with Vikram Chatwal would raise concerns she's hanging with a bad crowd, and putting herself in danger of a relapse.

As we previously reported ... Chatwal was busted for drug possession in April, but avoided jail by agreeing to 12 months of in-patient rehab.

We're told Lindsay thinks Vikram is good company because, like her, he's been through several rehab stints ... and is currently in recovery.

Here's the flaw in that argument ... multiple drug counselors -- from reputable clinics -- tell us Lindsay's playing with fire by hanging with old friends connected to her partying ways.

Most counselors told us ... it's "not recommended" for recovering addicts to hang with another addict -- especially if it's been a short stretch since they got out of rehab.

Lindsay's been out for 22 days, and while it's unclear when Vikram was last in treatment ...his drug bust was just 4 months ago. Not to mention, neither volunteered for rehab, but had to be forced by a judge.

Here's a question: if Lindsay Lohan really did cut all her toxic friends out of her life ... why was she spotted hanging out with a rehabbing hotel magnate who was busted for heroin in April?

Lindsay and pal Vikram Chatwal were photographed out in NYC Tuesday, reportedly shopping together ... you know, buddy stuff.

But here's the thing: Lindsay told friends she had permanently excised all the bad influences in her life in order to focus on sobriety and kick her substance abuse issues once and for all ... so it's a little surprising to see her hanging out with this guy.

FYI, Chatwal was busted in April after cops say he tried to get on a plane with cocaine, weed, heroin and various prescription pills. He struck a plea deal that let him avoid jail if he completed 12 months of in-patient rehab.

According to media reports, Chatwal's been to rehab AT LEAST 4 times since 2009.

We're not telling Lindsay who to be friends with ... we're just asking the question.

Lindsay Lohan calmly told Oprah Winfrey she's an addict, and her poison of choice has always been alcohol, but she definitely dabbled in cocaine.

You gotta watch the way Lindsay handles herself ... she's not fidgety, which was pretty much a constant in her life until this round of rehab.

During the interview on Oprah's Next Chapter, she copped to using cocaine more than she had admitted in the past. The question -- is she really telling the truth?

Kendrick Lamar called mainstream rap on the carpet this week ... and it's clearly pissed off Diddy and his cohorts. Meanwhile more professional athletes are coming out of the closet. So we gotta ask ...

Lindsay Lohan knocked it out of the park on "Eastbound & Down" -- sources tell TMZ, she crushed her cameo Kenny Powers-style ... and even got a standing ovation from the cast and crew.

Sources close to production tell us, Lindsay didn't just conduct herself professionally while on set this week in North Carolina -- showing up on time and memorizing her lines backwards and forwards -- she was actually funny too.

As we reported, Lindsay is set to appear in the series finale, playing Kenny's illegitimate daughter.

After filming, we're told the cast and crew were so impressed by Lindsay's performance, they gave her a standing o. We're told the HBO show's co-creator Jody Hill hugged it out with Linds and thanked her for taking the gig.

Post-rehab fun fact: we're told Lindsay had a sober living coach with her the entire time she was on set.

They both experimented with drugs ... they both torpedoed their careers ... and now Lindsay Lohan and Kenny Powers are joining forces on "Eastbound and Down," TMZ has learned.

SPOILER ALERT: sources close to production tell us, Lindsay signed on to play the adult version of Kenny's illegitimate daughter on the HBO series finale ... and she's currently filming on set in North Carolina.

Makes sense Kenny's kid would become Lindsay Lohan. If you recall, Kenny stashed his bong and all sorts of sex toys in the room of his infant son's room at the end of last season.

It's a pretty big opportunity for Lindsay -- her first real acting gig since she left rehab -- because if she's funny, a spin-off could be in the cards. Crazier things have happened.

Now here's a clip of Kenny Powers dancing his face off on ecstasy.

R.I.P. ... Kendrick Lamar just killed the game with a RUTHLESS verse on Big Sean's new track "Control" -- and nobody escaped his wrath ... not Drake, not A$AP Rocky, not Mac Miller, not even Lindsay Lohan.

There are no words to describe how nuclear this is. The rap game hasn't felt this kind of lyrical earthquake since ... we can't even remember ... and the Internet's on fire talking about it.

Bottom line: Kendrick's tired of the superficial BS in hip hop these days (cars, bitches, drugs) and he calls out his own friends for playing into the nonsense (Drake, A$AP, Mac, you name it).

The verse is a gold mine ... but the standout lyric is the unprovoked attack on Lindsay: "Mollies'll prolly turn these n****s to f***in' Lindsay Lohan / A bunch of rich ass white girls lookin' for parties/ Playin with Barbies, wreck the Porsche before you give 'em the car key."

Translation: the trappings of luxury (specifically drugs like Molly) are turning grown men into "a bunch of rich ass white girls" who act like children and take what they have for granted (Porsches). Kendrick's unsuspecting poster child ... Lindsay.

Now somebody please call an ambulance, or twelve. We got burn victims everywhere.

Here's the full uncensored track (WARNING: EXPLICIT LYRICS). FYI, Kendrick's verse starts at 2:58. Sorry Sean.

Lindsay Lohan got a surprise visit while she was ensconced in rehab -- we found out Ben Affleck had a secret meeting with her as a show of support.

Affleck -- who himself was in rehab back in 2001 -- met Lindsay somewhere away from the Cliffside rehab facility in Malibu where Lindsay was getting treatment. We're told Ben gave her guidance on how to maintain sobriety after rehab for someone in Hollywood.

We're told Ben talked to Lindsay about how to make a comeback in Hollywood -- a subject on which he's an expert. Ben talked to Lindsay about her career -- on how talented she is and how she has the ability to turn things around.

Ben also told her how supportive the entertainment community is for people who make a real effort to get better and stay clean. Our sources say the meeting really touched her.

Lindsay Lohan is true to her word -- going out for some SOBER fun with everyone in her family ... except Dina Lohan.

Sources close to LiLo tell TMZ ... the recently rehabbed actress went to see "The Conjuring" in NYC with dad Michael Lohan, sister Ali, brother Michael Jr. and her sober companion Monday night. Afterwards they chowed down on Japanese food.

We're told everyone was stone-cold sober the entire night and they still managed to have fun. It's unclear why Dina wasn't a part of the shindig -- but we have a good guess.

Our sources say Lindsay's trying hard to keep her nose clean -- she's relying on little sis Ali for support, having already moved into her NYC apartment.

One day at a time.

Oprah just spoke about her talk with Lindsay on "Good Morning America." Oprah said she warned Lindsay not to go to Europe because "it's very hard to not go to Capri and not have a Bellini."

Lindsay Lohan will NOT be going to Europe for a 3-week vacation like she planned ... because Oprah convinced Lindsay she'd relapse if she went, TMZ has learned.

TMZ broke the story ... Lindsay booked a one-way ticket to Europe while she was still in treatment, planning to reward her successful rehab stint with a lengthy vacation in the Old World.

Lindsay's flight was scheduled to take off tonight in New York -- with no return date set -- but sources close to Lindsay tell us, the actress just pulled the plug on the trip.

We're told Oprah -- who struck a deal with Lindsay to do a post-rehab docuseries later this month -- told Lindsay she should avoid the vacation so soon after rehab because the temptation to relapse would be too great.

We're told Oprah called Lindsay multiple times over the past 24 hours to convince her to stay put ... and Lindsay bought it, believing she needs to focus on her sobriety right now -- not jetsetting around the world. Impressive.

Also, Oprah was out signing autographs today and talked about her time with LiLo ...

This is surprising ... Lindsay Lohan does NOT consider her dad to be a toxic influence -- in fact, she actually wants him to be a big part of her life while she focuses on rebuilding herself after rehab.

As we reported, Lindsay went on a friend-slashing massacre a few weeks ago while in treatment, putting together a list of the bad people she wanted to cut out of her life once she got out -- and Michael was NOT on the list.

We're told Lindsay actually wants to keep Michael around because she believes -- despite his glaring flaws -- that he's actually a positive influence on her ... and family is really important.

Even crazier ... we're told Michael was in the therapy session with Lindsay when she discussed the "bad" list. Her brother Michael Jr. was there too.

90 days in rehab didn't make Lindsay Lohan modest -- 'cause she wasted no time showing off her legs moments after leaving Cliffside Tuesday afternoon.

Lindsay was sporting a huge smile, a blue print mini-dress, suede-fringe jacket and some major baggage -- a big blue one -- as she got into the SUV that picked her up from the Malibu facility.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us she'll be staying with a sober coach somewhere in Los Angeles for the next few days.

As we previously reported, Lindsay's telling people in her life she feels like she needs a transition period before re-entering the real world on her own.

Lindsay checked into the Betty Ford Center back on May 2 to begin her court-ordered rehab stay -- and transferred to Cliffside in mid-June.

Gotta say, so far ... she's looking good.