The Lohans

Tara Reid is no fan of Lindsay Lohan ... and Lindsay Lohan ain't too fond of Tara either ... so says the "American Pie" star.

Tara hosted "TMZ on TV" yesterday ... and told us she and LiLo have some serious issues, despite the fact they run in the same social circles.

"We don't really like each other that much," Reid said ... "If I get drunk, I'm a happy drunk. When she gets drunk, she's just mean."

Tara even gives examples.

Still, Reid believes Lohan will eventually get her life back on track ... because people keep giving her "chance after chance after chance after chance."

Straight out of the Ross Geller handbook ... Michael Lohan tells TMZ his secret love child was NOT the result of an affair ... claiming he and Dina Lohan were ON A BREAK when he inseminated another woman.

We broke the story ... DNA results proved Michael is the father of 17-year-old Ashley Horn -- who was born in 1995, while MiLo was still married to Dina.

But Michael tells TMZ ... he does NOT classify the relationship as "cheating" or "an affair" because ... "Dina and I were separated and living separately at the time for 8 months."

Michael is also calling BS on his other daughter Lindsay Lohan -- claiming there's no way she could have been in the dark about the love child because, "Dina has been telling our children that Ashley is my daughter for years, without even knowing the results. So how could this be news to our children?"

Great question ... meanwhile, remember Ross Geller? (scroll to :53)

An argument outside BOA last night ... Michael Lohan claiming he was puked on ... a witness claiming MiLo was the one who did the puking.

Watch the video and decide ... who puked?

According to Walters, Michael's car was slowly approaching a stoplight near the Director's Guild of America when the bus attempted to pass him ... and accidentally sideswiped Lohan's car.

Walters got out of his car and checked on Lohan -- who said, "Of course you're here when I get hit by a bus ... we exchanged information and everything is fine."

Walters says Lohan's car only appeared to have minor scratches and scrapes and Lohan was not injured.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, the actress has no plans whatsoever to become a Scientologist -- she hasn't taken any classes with the Church ... and hasn't even been asked to visit by current members.

We're told Lindsay has nothing against the Church -- but she was raised Catholic and plans to stay Catholic ... in fact, she remains an avid practitioner to this day.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us ... she had considered Lorne a mentor and a father figure -- and felt betrayed that he would let Miley mock her on TV -- so LiLo sent an email to let him know she was upset.

In case you missed the show -- Miley finished her opening monologue with a musical number which included the lyric, "I never stole a necklace or got a DUI .. never cheated on wife like that golfer guy ... so what if you can see a little boob from the side ... I'm sorry if I'm not perfect."

The mug shot was taken this morning after she was remanded into custody.

Lindsay Lohan will have a hard time staying clean and sober if she doesn't have a strong support group after rehab. That means she'll need to surround herself with an entirely new entourage -- who won't enable her addiction.

Just before entering rehab, our spies caught Lindsay "dining" with friends at Orso in Los Angeles. Lohan ordered a salad, and barely touched a leaf. When she ordered a cocktail and was asked to show her ID, Linds recoiled and asked for a water instead. Our spy then watched as her friends ordered drink after drink for her -- which Lohan consumed. After lunch, Lindsay jumped into her Mercedes convertible and sped off with the stereo blaring.

Amidst a flurry of paparazzi camera flashes, La Lohan made her way through L.A. yesterday proudly sporting a mysterious red chip with the words "90 Days" on it -- begging the question, what exactly does it mean?

It was a drama filled night Friday at Hyde, a Hollywood hotspot packed with celebrities. Sources inside the club tell TMZ there was a ton of trash talk between Lindsay Lohan and the Hilton sisters. At one point, sources say, Lindsay and Paris were literally face-to-face in a heated spat.

Paris' rep, Elliot Mintz, plays down the incident. "Inside the club," he says, "Paris was having a conversation with a couple friends. Lindsay approached her table and at that moment Paris felt she was being interrupted and didn't wish to speak with Lindsay. A couple of words were exchanged and Lindsay went back to her table. I can understand how other patrons in the club could have thought it had been a bigger deal then it actually was.