The Kardashians

The annual Kardashian Christmas card was just revealed ... and surprisingly, there's not a single person with the famous last name on it.

Kim just posted the pic, showing the family's new generation with North, Penelope, Reign and Mason all dressed in black. It's obviously missing Saint but we're not sure he was even born when the pic was taken.

It's interesting ... there was a lot of buzz about how this year's card would look considering everything that's gone on with the family, but at least everything seems kosher with the kiddies.

Kim Kardashian broke the Apple app store.

Kim launched Kimoji's Monday -- Kim-themed emojis -- and the response was crazy. So many people tried downloading it at once, the Apple app store couldn't handle the tidal wave and started crashing.

At one point today it was getting 9,000 downloads per millisecond.

We're told the Apple tech team swooped in and shored it up so it didn't fully crash.

As for the app ... it will set you back $1.99.

Kim's teaching her little sister a lesson or 2 in apps.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's son is now the only Saint West in show biz -- the Canadian rapper who had the handle first has decided to get out of the hip hop game.

TMZ contacted the guy, who's now going by his government name -- Lindon McIntyre -- to find out if he was planned to make a stink about Kim and Kanye's spawn biting his name, especially on Twitter.

He sent us this hysterical video reply. These days he looks nothing like a rapper, and more like an accountant -- although he's actually a plumber, and ballroom dance is his hobby.

Watch ... he has some career advice for Saint West 2.0.

Shame his career's ending before it began -- seems like an entertaining guy.

Saint West made his public debut, of sorts, heading out with mom, dad and his big sis to the doctor's office in L.A. on Thursday.

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian took Saint for a checkup, 12 days after he was born. North was not left out. Mom carried her, while Kanye -- covered in a hoodie -- lugged his son ... also covered, in his car seat.

The whole fam was looking healthy and happy, and check out the heels on Kim. Damn!

Kris Jenner is cleaning house ... 86'ing the security guards she blames for putting her family, including grandkids North and Saint West, at risk.

Sources close to the fam tell TMZ Jenner was livid about Tuesday's lapse, and 24 hours later she's booted the entire team. We broke the story ... cops busted a man at the house who strolled right into the home and got face-to-face with Kris.

We're told she was especially angry because there were policies in place to prevent such an incident, including 24 hour surveillance -- and she didn't get any reasonable explanation for why it failed.

Kanye West was equally pissed, and our sources say he immediately ordered his security team -- comprised of off-duty cops -- to watch over the fam. Kim Kardashian and the kids have been staying with Kris since coming home with Saint.

Kendall Jenner had a lot in common with the guy she planted her first kiss on ... their dads both starred in the '80s crime drama "CHiPS."

Kendall copped to kissing elementary school crush Chad Wilcox during a game of truth or dare back in the 5th grade. Turns out Chad is the son of actor Larry Wilcox, who most famously played Officer Jon Baker.

Caitlyn Jenner, then Bruce, famously replaced Larry's co-star Erik Estrada for 6 episodes when Estrada went on strike in 1981.

We spoke to Chad, who says he's a freshman at Concordia University now where he also plays on the basketball team and majors in business management. He's planning on taking over OPTEC, the family owned fuel efficiency business.

Chad says the truth or dare make out sesh was his first kiss too. He also said he's currently single ... y'know, just in case Kendall's feeling nostalgic.

A Kardashian-obsessed man was busted after waltzing right into Kris Jenner's house in the middle of the day ... TMZ has learned.

Sources tell us the man showed up on Tuesday afternoon and told security at Jenner's Hidden Hills home he had a meeting with Kris. He apparently posed as part of a crew working on Christmas decorations at the house.

We're told the man walked right into Kris' office and addressed her directly -- but she immediately realized the man did not belong there. They immediately called 911 and Sheriff's deputies showed up and arrested the guy.

Much of the family, including Kim Kardashian and Saint West, were home at the time.

Kris Jenner did a little light decorating for the holiday season ... evidenced by this photo posted by Kim Kardashian, which she captioned, "Candy Cane Lane Kris Jenner Style."

Maybe next year she'll REALLY do it up.

Best autocorrect ever?

Dictionary.com defines "lardass" as ... "a person having unusually large buttocks."

Just sayin' ...

Saint West has a lot in common with his big sister and his cousins ... that's besides DNA.

TMZ obtained a copy of the little guy's birth certificate, which was filed with L.A. County on Friday. Not a lot of shocking details -- no middle name, and it was signed last Monday ... 2 days after his birth.

He was delivered by Dr. Paul Crane, who also welcomed North ... and all 3 of Kourtney's kids. Best of all ... he even pulled Kim outta Kris Jenner 35 years ago!

The guy knows his way around a Kardashian hoo-ha.

Khloe Kardashian might lie about baking pies, but she's a regular Betty Crocker when it comes to whipping up a cheesecake.

Khloe posted a pic of a cooked cake and says there's proof SHE made this because she recorded the whole thing for a "Cooking with Koko" segment.

We broke the story ... Khloe tried to pass off pies from an L.A. bakery, Sweet Lady Jane ... as her own for Thanksgiving dinner.

As for the umm ... flaws in the cheesecake -- she blames "munchkins" for nibbling before the pic, but preemptively told her haters ... "It's a f***ing cheesecake. Grow up."

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's new bundle of joy will be their last ... doctors have warned her another pregnancy would be like playing with fire.

Kim's been open about her pregnancy struggles, suffering from placenta accreta -- a potentially life threatening condition -- during both. We're told docs have told her it's nearly a guarantee she'd get accreta again, putting her and her baby's lives at risk.

A source close to the family tells us Kim is also scared of another extremely painful birth, like the one with Saint ... and that's helped her make the decision easier.

However, we're told the couple is completely cool with capping off their brood at two kids. Our source says they're plenty busy with North and Saint and a new addition would be just too much.

As for Saint West -- we're told he's the perfect baby -- eating great, sleeping a ton and barely crying.

But what would you expect from the offspring of two of Hollywood's finest?

Kourtney Kardashian made clear what TMZ has been telling you .... she's available.

Kourtney was out at The Nice Guy Friday with no Scott Disick in sight. As we reported, she's not getting back with Scott, although they're spending time together as parents of 3 kids.

She left the club late Friday night and made a beeline for the Montage in Bev Hills where Justin Bieber stays -- he was at the club as well. She left the hotel at 4 AM.

Her sister Kylie was hanging at Saks Fifth Ave Friday night ... sans Tyga. Although it seems weird, they're still together but often hang separately so as not to confuse their brands.

Kourtney Kardashian is making it look like she's giving Scott Disick yet another chance, but our sources say there is not a chance in hell she's taking him back.

The pictures seem to tell a different story ... they've been seen together multiple times in the last few weeks ... sometimes with the kids and other times alone. It sure looks like she's taken him back, but she absolutely, positively has not.

Our Kardashian sources tell us Kourtney is modeling her post-relationship relationship after that of her parents, Kris and Robert Kardashian. When the parents divorced, they remained close and were great at co-parenting Kourtney and her sisters. It made a huge impression ... one she wants to emulate.

Kris Jenner wants you to know she's a proud mama ... and now she wants to put her matriarchal pride to work ... to make some money.

We found out Kris filed to get a trademark for #ProudMama ... she says it's for "advertising purposes."

Kris has already been tagging #ProudMama on various business ventures and on social media.

This isn't the first time Kris has fought to get legal ownership of mom phrases. Back in March, she filed to trademark the word "momager."

If the trademark is approved, any and all moms will have to get Kris' permission if they want to advertise with the phrase #ProudMama ... or Kris can sue them.

... and you thought YOUR mom loved you.

Scott Disick wasn't smiling on the outside at lunch with Kourtney Kardashian -- but he's gotta be grinning inside, because it looks like his plan to win her back is working.

The estranged couple went on another lunch date Wednesday in Calabasas, but this time they brought a chaperone ... their daughter Penelope.

Scott and Kourtney have been spotted out together a bunch since he wrapped up his inpatient rehab stint. As we told you, Disick's dumping his Bev Hills party palace ... partly to show Kourt he's serious about cleaning up his act.

The lord shall return.