Speidi to Procreate?!
Just what the world needs... little annoying, blonde, jobless kiddies running around.
Right after the vomit-inducing twosome returned home from their elope-a-dope in Cabo San Lucas, they confirmed the rumor -- they're going to start a family.
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Speidi's Elope-a-Dope -- For the Love of Money
Not even marriage is sacred to self-proclaimed Jesus freak Heidi Montag -- because it looks like her "marriage" to Spencer Pratt was just an elaborate ploy to cash in.
After MonPrat "eloped" in Cabo San Lucas last week, they sold their story and photos. And the joke may be on the publications, because the "marriage" was as fake as Heidi's breasts.
Heidi's Dad Didn't Know She's a Pratt
Yeah, right.
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, the most perniciously insincere pair of people in the Western hemisphere, didn't even tell Heidi's dad they were eloping -- so says Heidi's dad to People. A) Isn't that the definition of elopement? And B) Guess what Daddy Montag had to say about what's next?
"Then we just have to have another wedding here!"
Police Serve Spencer Over Bad Plates
For the 99.99% of you that hate Spencer Pratt -- a small victory awaits you.
The P-hole was pulled over in West Hollywood last week and ticketed for not having front or back license plates on his car.
Unfortunately, it's a fixable ticket -- all Spence has to do is get the tags and show the right people -- but he will be charged ten bucks for the screw-up.
It may not be much, but we'll take what we can get.
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LC -- Standby for Air-head
What if a sublebrity's name got called in an airport -– and nobody cared?
Such was Lauren Conrad's conundrum the other day at JFK, when an airline attendant called out her name to direct her to a counter ... for a standby ticket. LC was none too pleased: She "pitched a fit," a spy tells the New York Post, "and was almost driven to tears because she thought people would start talking to her and bother her."
Ah, but: "No one even cared." The end.
The Most Expensive Tow Job Ever
First LC moves on with Brody and now this.
"Laguna Beach" tool Jason Wahler was just ordered to pay $15K in punitive damages to the tow truck driver he slapped back in 2006.
A jury decided yesterday Wahler had to pay $5,000 in actual damages, resulting in a total of 20 grand -- all for getting slap happy with the help.
Next time, Jason should just man up and fix his own ride.
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LC & Audrina's Kiss-Off -- Take Two
Reality shows shouldn't have Alternate Endings -- but last night in Beverly Hills, LC mysteriously re-appeared next to Audrina's car outside Bond St. sushi just two minutes after she supposedly left in her BMW.
That show isn't staged, is it?!
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The Montag Sisters Good vs. Evil
Do you like your Montag with or without plastic?
Now that Holly Montag (Heidi's older sis) has officially moved to L.A., we're wondering ...
The Self-Frumpification of a Hot Chick
Whitney Port is interested in a career in fashion -- and her personal fashions certainly are interesting.
"The Hills" castoff pulled some cash out of a Beverly Hills ATM yesterday -- she should use it to pay her grandmother for the clothes she stole out of her wardrobe.
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The American Dream
Did we say dream? We meant nightmare.
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Speidi LC's Audi Can Suck It!
Heidi and Spencer showed up LC last night at her own party. You'll recall LC just got a $118,000 Audi. The Hateables one-upped that by rolling up in a Rolls Royce Phantom. We did some checking and were told H/S really did buy the car for around $400,000. Apparently, Jesus loves 24" inch rims. Chauffeur not included.
"The Hills" May Be Fake ... But The Check Isn't
Lauren Conrad was in West Hollywood yesterday, showing off her brand new $118,000 Audi R8.
Say what you will about her fake reality life -- the girl is getting paid in a major way. Take that, Audrina!
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LC & Jason: Reunited and It Feels So Scripted
In what's either one of the worst decisions she's ever made or just the latest plot point on "The Hills," Lauren Conrad reunited with her douchey ex, Jason Wahler, for dinner last night.
Friends? Enemies? Lovers? Who the hell knows?! As with all the "Hills" fools, it's only as real or as fake as you want to believe.
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Audrina: Wet And Manhandled
Looks like Audrina has moved on from her smelly ex Justin Bobby once and for all.
Those rumors about Justin and LC probably just landed this new guy a golden opportunity. Lucky bastard.
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Jason Wahler's Prayer of the Hateful
Clearly it's been a while since Jason Wahler's been to church, cause we're pretty sure prayers don't include the words "Kill Yourself." On the other hand, he's praying for Heidi Montag, so...
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Taco Bell Just Got Cheaper
If seeing Heidi and Spencer working the Taco Bell drive-thru window isn't enough to make you actually run for the border, we don't know what will.
