Ann Coulter -- 'Hills' Chick?

Here's conservative political commentator Ann Coulter this weekend in D.C. (left) and "Hills" star Audrina Patridge at some event last month (right).

One of them never has anything interesting to say.

We're just sayin'!

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Audrina -- Burger? We Hardly Knew 'Er!

When you think of Audrina Patridge, only four things come to mind -- "The Hills," her ad for Carl's Jr. and her ...

But Audrina told Fox411 that her family teases her about her ad for the fast food chain, saying, "Even my family, when I go home for BBQs, they're like, 'Audrina look at this!' and they make fun of me!"

First of all, Audrina has nothing to be ashamed of -- that commercial is hot. Secondly, what else is anyone supposed to talk to Audrina about? Global warming, race relations, the economy?

As the old saying goes -- if you got it, use it to sell teriyaki burgers with grilled pineapples.

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Speidi -- Make Womb for Seventeen?!

If Heidi & Spencer procreating is considered a danger to the future of humanity -- well, then we've got some bad news of biblical proportions: Heidi wants "seventeentuplets."

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Whitney Port -- All Wet

Her show may be fake, but Whitney Port proved she's the real deal when it comes to rockin' a wet bikini.

The 24-year-old "The City" star soaked her bones at a Miami hotel pool on Monday.

Believe it or not, this shot took just one take.

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Lo and Behold -- Brandy's a Nobody!?

There's only one positive thing to say about this video -- showing Brandy being upstaged by "Hills" star Lo Bosworth -- at least it wasn't Heidi Montag.

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LC's 'Hills' Shocker -- It Was Staged!

Now that Lauren Conrad's no longer on "The Hills," she's wasting no time spilling the world's worst kept secret: The show's as fake as Heidi's chest.

Conrad was on "The View" this morning, and when asked about Spencer Pratt's apology phone call to her in the season finale, she said she wasn't even on the other end of the line.

In other breaking news: The sky is blue.

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Audrina Patridge -- In Case of Emergency ...

It is unclear whether or not Audrina Patridge can swim, but we are certain she will not sink.

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Kristin & Heather: 2 Girls, 1 Dress

Here's 22-year-old reality TV star Kristin Cavallari wearing a cutout Herve Leger dress in L.A. on Tuesday (left) -- and 39-year-old "The Hangover" star Heather Graham in the same little black number in Ireland on Monday (right).

Both went commando.

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Audrina Pines for Ex-BF

"Hills" babe Audrina Patridge has moved on from "Star Trekker" Chris Pine -- and is sucking face with one of her exes, BMX biker Corey Bohan.

The two -- who dated last August -- were caught swapping spit at Lavo nightclub at the Palazzo last night.

Could be worse ... at least it wasn't Justin Bobby.

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Audrina in a Bikini? Yes, Please!

Say what you will about Audrina Patridge (and we have) -- but the girl proved again this weekend at Tao Beach in Las Vegas that she rocks a bikini as good as anyone.

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Spencer to Audrina: 'You're a Ho!'

First of all ... Heidi and Spencer are still in Costa Rica -- that's a fact.

Now ... Spencer Pratt is uncharacteristically pissed over Audrina Patridge's comment that she would never join "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here." Spencer just told TMZ, "Heads up, Audrina. Just because you have a one night stand with a guy who's in a movie called "Star Trek" doesn't make you a star. You're just a ho."

In case that didn't register, he said, "You're just a ho." We have to say, not very Christian from a guy who just got baptized by Stephen Baldwin.

And get this: Spencer and Heidi are telling people in Costa Rica that they never really planned to quit the show. He's saying it was all a "mental fake out to mess with the competitors."

And the best part ... Remember Heidi crying a river on the show after the wrestler stole her shampoo? Heidi is bragging to people in Costa Rica that she and QVC are going to sell 500,000 units of that shampoo as a result of the drama -- and that's just for her first appearance on the shopping show.

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By the way ... if you see video of two people landing at LAX last night and you hear it's Speidi ... it ain't. Just another fake out.

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Spencer -- I Don't Have Time to Beat Up Wahler

Spencer Pratt just released the following statement to TMZ regarding Jason Wahler's homophobic verbal attack on "The Hills" star last night:

"If I were to beat up every homophobic racist loser that challenged me to a fight – I wouldn't have time to be the most famous person in the world.

I'll pray for Jason Wahler."

FYI -- Wahler's history of racist, homophobic attacks have been well documented over the years -- like here and here and here.

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Wahler Drops a Little Homophobia on Spencer

Challenging Spencer Pratt to a fight is one thing -- but calling him "a little f*ggot," like former MTV reality jerk Jason Wahler did last night outside of Apple, just ain't cool.

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Even Spencer will admit he's a poser, but Wahler took it a bit too far.

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Spencer Pratt: 'I AM the World's Biggest Poser'

Hey, at least now he's admitting it.

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Spencer Pratt was out at Chinois with MMA fighter Kevin Casey -- the dude whose music video Pratt singlehandedly emasculated -- where he proved, once and for all, that he's a bigger poser than Avril Lavigne.

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Brody's Mom -- My Son Didn't Cheat with Audrina!

This is like, so dramatic -- Brody Jenner's mom says he didn't really cheat on his super hot girlfriend with Audrina -- even though it totally looked like they did on a recent "Hills" episode because they slept in the same bed.

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A made up storyline on an MTV reality show? No way...

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Speidi vs. Paris & Doug -- Who's More Vile?

Hold onto your breakfast, 'cause both sets of the world's most notorious fame whores were suckin' face for the cameras yesterday -- and it's about to get nasty.

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A "moist" Heidi & Spencer vs. the trashy Paris & Doug: Who's got you reaching for the barf bag?

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