The Funny Stuff

Justin Bieber put a ring on it -- on HIS finger, anyway ... but chill, Beliebers. He ain't married yet.

Sources close to the Biebs tell TMZ ... Justin wanted to play a prank on paps by slipping a band on his left ring finger. He figured he'd sit back and watch the internet explode -- and that's pretty much what happened. Fans who posed with him wondered if he'd gotten hitched to Hailey Baldwin.

Anyone waiting for Kyle Kuzma and Lonzo Ball to get into a full-blown beef is about to be disappointed ... because Lakers guard Josh Hart says everything is cool between the two guys.

Lonzo and Kuzma have been taking shots at each other on social media (and on rap songs) so much that the Lakers brass reportedly stepped in and asked them to stop.

So, we got Hart out at The Peppermint Club in L.A. (where he was partying with his teammate, Julius Randle) and asked him if it's getting outta hand ... and he broke it down for us.

Evander Holyfield believes in the wisdom of Evander Holyfield ... which is why he wears T-shirts with quotes from Evander Holyfield.

We spotted the champ out at Reagan National Airport -- and, while our photog wanted to talk about the World Cup, we couldn't help but notice the Real Deal's fashion statement.

"When I was eight years old my coach told me I could be like Muhammad Ali. DREAMS DO COME TRUE -- Evander Holyfield."

The shirt also features a pic of a young Evander.

If you're thinking no one would pay $28k to see Donald Trump naked, think again because Zak Bagans did -- but wants to make it clear he's just in it for the history of it ... and maybe some dough.

The "Ghost Adventures" star and Haunted Museum owner outbid everyone for "The Emperor Has No Balls" statue ... better known as "the naked Donald Trump statue" Wednesday at Julien's Auctions.

The statue was made by West Coast anarchist collective INDECLINE and Zak says he was drawn to its mysteriousness. Five naked Donald Trumps popped up around the U.S. last year and at the time no one knew where they came from. The one Zak bought is the only one that wasn't ruined or confiscated.

It was estimated to fetch $20k at auction, but Zak was willing to pay $8k more than that. He's clearly betting the value will only go up, and someone will overpay him down the line.

Kim Zolciak and hubby Kroy Biermann fired the heavy artillery at Marlon Wayans ... calling him a p***y and thoroughly unfunny for suggesting Kim was the poster girl for "White Chicks 2."

Wayans came under heavy fire over the weekend after he posted a photo of Zolciak with the caption, "No we are not in production for White Chicks 2. The f***?!" Marlon was referring to his 2004 film with his brother, Shawn, where the two played undercover FBI agents dressed as white women.

We got Kim and Kroy at LAX Monday, and asked them about Marlon's photo ... it was clear, they were NOT happy. Kim told our photog she thought it was totally inappropriate for Wayans to attack her appearance in the wake of the #MeToo movement.

Tiffany Haddish will introduce a man who needs no introduction, but will get it anyway, because he's the late, great and legendary Richard Pryor.

We're told Tiffany's writing the intro to the highly-anticipated 'Richard Pryor Diaries' ... a project spearheaded by Richard's wife, Jennifer Lee Pryor. The book's due out in October, but there's been tremendous buzz since TMZ broke the story that Richard did, in fact, bang Marlon Brando.

The book, of course, will dive into Richard's bisexuality, his home life and storied career.

We're told Tiffany jumped at the opportunity because Richard's one of her heroes. Tiffany, of course, attended a Laugh Factory camp back in the late '90s when she was in high school, which Pryor visited. He also mentored Tiffany, whose career skyrocketed since "Girls Trip."

Unclear what Tiffany's gonna let outta the bag -- she's good at that -- but pretty sure it'll be hilarious.

Richard's wife will be at a book signing Sunday for the reissue of Richard's book, "Pryor Convictions And Other Life Sentences" at Book Soup in WeHo.

October can't come soon enough.

Andrew Taggart of The Chainsmokers never again has to wonder what it's like to walk in Liam Payne's shoes ... he got a very funny glimpse of the 1D life, and thankfully cameras were rolling.

Andrew was outside Craig's Wednesday night in WeHo and posed for selfies with several fans who were apparently under the impression he's the guy who used to be in One Direction.

Matt Damon made the mistake of sitting next to Chris Hemsworth in public, and Mother Nature made him pay for it -- well, a large bird with full bowels actually made him pay.

Check out Matt's shirt -- front and back -- 'cause he got bombed by some bird down in Byron Bay, Australia. Matt spent Sunday hanging with Chris and his fam at the beach -- y'know they're locals in the Bay.

Matt seemed slightly amused after the s**tstorm, and attempted to clean up. He also changed his hat ... just in case.

Far as we can tell, Thor emerged totally unscathed, still ridiculously hot ... and without sleeves.

President Trump's gonna have to get his Air Force One pilots involved if he wants to avoid another disastrous hair day ... this according to Jason Alexander.

We got Jason Monday walking around L.A., and asked if he thought Trump should just embrace baldness after those classic shots of his mop going wild while boarding his ride.

Jason goes into full George Costanza mode, and makes our day (our week, really) with this EPIC 1-minute riff on Trump's 'do, which includes some hair tips for the Prez.

Hint: stop fighting the wind, 45 ... ya can't win.

The streaker who busted onto the green at the Phoenix Open on Wednesday didn't just run around -- he TRIED really hard to pull off some naked breakdance moves ... and TMZ Sports has the footage.

The wannabe dancer is Adam Stalmach -- a 24-year-old idiot who somehow snuck onto the 17th fairway during the Pro-Am in front of hundreds of people ... and put on a naked show before cops rushed in and arrested him.

Shocker ... cops say he was probably wasted.

He's been charged with indecent exposure and two counts of disorderly conduct.

Also, he kept his socks on the entire time ... so technically, not a full streaker???

Kevin Hart's been ruffling feathers lately with his cheating scandal but Thursday it was him who got his feathers ruffled while hilariously dressed in a chicken costume for his new flick.

Hart's been filming "Night School" in L.A. and during Thursday's shoot he got a serious whipping from co-star Tiffany Haddish with a belt!!!

If you're wondering why he's wearing a chicken costume in the film ... he plays a sign spinner, in this one scene at least.

Kevin tries to fly the coop, but doesn't look like he'll be sitting down without wincing for a while.

Michael Rooker's a pro when it comes to relaxing -- which turns out to be a slight problem while filming sentimental scenes with Chris Pratt.

We got Michael at LAX and he talked about the "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2" blooper that's had fans cracking up. It's from his character Yondu's funeral scene, and since cameras couldn't show him breathing ... he had to chill himself out.

He pulled it off ... getting REAL chill, as in zonked out and snoring. Michael blames it all on his co-star, Chris, and told us it happened more than once. Or twice.

Dude loves his sleep.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has found the secret to boosting his Uber rating -- MONEY!

The NASCAR legend got the Uber blues on Saturday when he learned his rating was a crappy 4.0 on the 5.0 scale. He tweeted about it, "That's complete sh*t."

Uber immediately reached out to Dale and tried to help him with some quick tips ... and Junior says his rating's been way up ever since.

"I've been tipping really good and been nice to the driver ... and it's working out! My ratings are up!"

Earnhardt says he's cool with the company now -- and says it's the best way to go out if you plan on boozing.

What's better than making a caddy follow you around the golf course with hot dogs?

How about making the Stanley Cup do it.

Pittsburgh Penguins star Phil Kessel spent his day on the links with the Holy Grail Monday ... fillin' it to the brim with tube steaks!!

In case you're wondering about Kessel's fascination with hot dogs ... there was a rumor he used to eat a wiener a day in Toronto before he was traded from the Maple Leafs.

Marlon Wayans says black people have a HUGE advantage post-nuclear war.

We got one of the Bros at LAX Thursday and asked about the booming bomb shelter biz ... and he says he's about to join the rush.

Thing is ... Marlon keys in on a critical issue -- food. If the only food source remaining on earth are rodents, he says black people have skills that white people can't touch. Put differently, fricasseeing a rat blows, but it's a whole different animal with Lawry's and flour.

Anthony Scaramucci belatedly got the 'SNL' treatment courtesy of 'SNL' alum, Bill Hader ... and it was, well, a day too late.

It kinda felt like calling Scaramucci "The Mooch" was a new thing, even though it was kinda played out a couple weeks ago. And the Steve Bannon autofellatio gag was last month's news cycle.

Nevertheless, Hader did a good impression.

And, the last joke is pretty funny.

One thing's clear ... the 'SNL' folks must have been apoplectic when the Mooch resigned 11 days in.