Ride Me

After somehow getting Affleck's Lexus into the middle of the road, Ben's bud couldn't get the thing to move again -- seriously blocked traffic in both directions.

With his father Rick in the passenger seat, Conrad Hughes Hilton (named after his hotel-founding great-grandfather), kept his eyes on the road as he left Wolfgang's Steakhouse in Beverly Hills last night.

But here's the million dollar question -- even if you were super-loaded, would you let a 15-year-old drive your Bentley?!!?!

It's all over the "iconic custom-built" 1950 Mercury featured in the Stallone classic, "Cobra." Stallone claims he had personally designed the car to fit his role in the film.

But Sly claims someone jacked the famous ride from a garage back in 1994 -- and it somehow got into the possession of a company that provides "on-camera vehicles" for movies. Sly claims he asked the owner of the company to give him the car back -- but the owner has refused.

Now Sly and his legal pit bull Marty Singer have filed an awesomely written lawsuit in L.A. County Superior Court, which begins with a quote from the movie -- "Crime is a disease. Meet the cure."

In the suit, Sly claims "by sheer fortuity" he came across a car auction on the Internet that featured the very same Mercury from "Cobra." Stallone claims he was shocked that someone had the "temerity" to try and sell the car in public -- since Sly had reported it stolen back in the day.

Sly never directly accuses the movie-car company of stealing the whip, which he claims is worth more than $250,000. The car company pulled the Mercury from the auction, but Sly still has some serious demands.

First -- he wants the car back, stat.

Second -- Stallone wants $3 million because the car company's site allegedly used Sly's name and image to promote the auction without proper permission.

UPDATE -- According to Tiger's rep, he was in a "minor" accident, "admitted, treated and released today in good condition."

Tiger Woods is in "serious" condition after being involved in a single car crash near his home in Florida early this morning.

The crash occurred at 2:20 AM in Windermere. He was taken to Health Central Hospital with facial lacerations.

Woods struck a fire hydrant and then a tree on a neighbor's property. The fire hydrant is reportedly less than 100 feet from his driveway.

Police say alcohol was not a factor. There were no signs of alcohol on the scene. We're told the police have yet to speak to Tiger.

The police report reads, "DRIVER HAD JUST PULLED OUT OF THE DRIVEWAY AT HIS RESIDENCE ... AS V1 BEGAN TO DRIVE ON DEACON CIRCLE, V1 STRUCK A FIRE HYDRANT. THE FRONT OF V1 THEN STRUCK A TREE ... THE DRIVER WAS TRANSPORTED TO HEALTH CENTRAL HOSPITAL. THE CRASH REMAINS UNDER INVESTIGATION AND CHARGES ARE PENDING."

We're told charges could range from DUI to reckless driving ... to nothing.

He was driving a 2009 Cadillac SUV. FHP says the airbags did not deploy.

Woods was by himself at the time.

His next scheduled event is December 3 in Thousand Oaks, Calif.

Britney Spears has lost it -- and by that, we mean all her touring equipment.

TMZ has learned a bus carrying all off Britney's tour equipment rolled off the road in Parkes, New South Wales in Australia.

According to police there, it happened around 4:30 PM during a bad storm. The winds became too strong and blew the truck off the road, rolling it over.

Police say the driver was taken to the hospital, but the equipment was undamaged.

So Britney has all the tools to lip sync tonight at the Rod Laver Arena tonight.

The California Governor took his Porsche out for a spin in Bev Hills Saturday, and left his sweet ride in the red zone. Since the State is broke, there weren't enough cops around to ticket the Guv, so he got away with it.

Last night, Wyclef Jean hopped on his badass custom web-slinger and cruised through NYC.

Look out ... there goes the Spider-Man.

TMZ obtained photos of Chidi Uzomah's car -- which he left behind at the E! building last week after he got arrested. The car was safe, though, because it was left under the watchful eye of the greatest anti-theft device ever conceived: The Club.

Also inside the car: A Thomas Guide opened up to a map of West Hollywood, clothes, a towel and a backpack full of books.

The UFC kingpin tells TMZ he was changing lanes while cruising through Las Vegas Wednesday afternoon when a "Hyundai rent-a-car" suddenly stopped in front of him -- and Dana smashed into the back of it.

White said his beloved car -- which he had only driven 3 times before the crash -- took the brunt of the blast ... while the Hyundai only suffered a few minor scratches.

As for Dana's condition, he tells us, "I'm fine ... but my heart is broken."

Eddie and Alex Van Halen came from the same womb, played in the same legendary rock band ... and now they're driving identical $120,000 silver Audi R8s.

We're told the rock star brothers purchased their new rides last Friday at Keys Audi in Los Angeles -- but for some reason, Eddie was sent alone to ink the deal.

While Eddie may be the generous type, sources say the brothers each paid for their own.

Nothing like dropping a quarter mil on some family bonding.

The fatigued 65-year-old squeegee man wiped off the windshield to his filthy Mercedes on Tuesday.

We're told Andrew -- who turned 22 yesterday -- walked into Felix Chevrolet-Cadillac in Los Angeles and bought the Camaro 2SS V8 with all the trimmings, including a special customized body kit and yellow paint job with black racing stripes ... just like Shia LaBeouf's BFF Bumblebee in the Transformers movie.

But Andrew wasn't feeling Bumblebee's silver rims -- we hear he sprung for a set of shiny new black ones instead.

Hopefully he won't try and weave his way through traffic in this.

Maria Shriver is sorry. Again.

The First Lady of California released a statement through her office this afternoon, apologizing for her latest driving gaffe -- parking in a red zone this weekend for over an hour.

Earlier this month, Maria was caught on tape driving while on a cell phone -- three separate times -- a big no-no in California. Maria apologized for that one too.

Maybe now she's learned her lesson.

In the footage, Pitt can be seen trying to maneuver his bike between a van and a parked car at a red light when he suddenly loses control -- and crashes to the ground.

During his fall, Brad slams against the car and it appears his bike knocks into the van.

Brad said he was "fine" after the minor crash -- but the chopper needed to be towed away.