Man Named Jesus Confesses After Vandalizing Church ... Arrested In N.C.

A North Carolina man named Jesus has confessed after vandalizing a local church's historic stained glass window ... this according to cops.

Police arrested Jesus Jose Arellano after he used a foot-long sandstone rock to smash a Tiffany glass window at Grace Moravian Church. The stained glass window, which dates back nearly 100 years to 1925, now has a 2-square-foot hole thanks to Jesus.

Cops say Jesus confessed to his sins when he was arrested the day after the vandalism -- in a nearby cemetery, no less. Jesus was charged with injury to real property.

Jesus had to work pretty hard to vandalize the church ... cops say he used the sandstone to break through 6 inches of Plexiglass before smashing the stained glass window.

Neil Ruth, the church's pastor told WXII the Grace Moravian is a symbol of kindness in its Mount Airy community, and he found it odd Jesus would do such a thing.

Ruth says the congregation is upset by the vandalism, but also concerned about Jesus.

Detroit Priest Holy Water Squirt Gun Drive-Thru ... Gets the Meme Treatment

A Catholic priest got creative in doling out blessings and holy water around Easter time last month -- and his viral method has since gotten a proper meme treatment ... rightly so.

The guy's name is Father Tim Pelc, hails from Detroit. About a month ago, he was standing outside his church and blasting his parishioners with holy water through a mini squirt gun -- all just to bless their Easter food baskets. It's tradition ... and he kept it alive.

BTW, it was done safely -- Father Pelc stood a good distance away from folks puling up to their makeshift drive-thru and shot water into their vehicles, this while wearing a N95 mask, a plastic face shield and disposable gloves. Hallelujah ... responsible social distancing.

Meanwhile, Father Pelc's photos went viral since he started doing this -- and, naturally, the internet had a field day with the images. Some people featured him on fake movie posters, and we gotta say ... they look pretty legit. We'd go see these flicks -- if we could, that is.

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Crafty online sleuths turned Pelc into an action hero of sorts -- featuring him on posters for 'Doom,' 'The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly' and others. He slides right in perfectly -- guess that'll happen when you play dress-up and horse around like a little kid with toy guns.

Take that 'rona ... pewpew, pewpew!

Pete Alonso Retrograde Mercury Helped Me Break HR Record ... I'm Serious!!!

Did Mercury coming out of retrograde cost Aaron Judge the rookie home run record?!?!

That's what Pete Alonso's saying ... admitting once the smallest planet in our solar system got back in line last summer -- his bat suddenly woke up from a weeks-long slump!!!

And, yeah ... the Mets superstar is DEAD serious about it!!!

"I saw something on Twitter," Pete said on "The Cookie Club" show this week, "I was in a rabbit hole one night after the game and it's like, 'Mercury is out of retrograde, and if you're born in a certain month, then it really affects you in a negative way and your performance at your job.'"

"And I'm like, 'Oh, Mercury's in retrograde!'" Pete added. "'It comes out of retrograde on this day, and I can't wait for that!' And, that day was probably like five days away."

Sure enough, Pete says as soon as that day hit on the calendar -- he went BERSERK at the plate ... and his teammates laughed their faces off over it all!!

"He came in the locker room screaming it," Mets stud Dominic Smith said. "'Mercury's out of retrograde!' And we're looking around like, 'What does that even mean?!'"

Smith added, "And, I was just like, 'Whatever, Pete's back!' And, I'm telling you, he went off! Like I couldn't believe it!"

FYI, Alonso used that game and about three dozen more following it to ultimately break Judge's rookie home run record ... finishing with 53 jacks in one season.

As for Alonso repeating that feat in 2020 ... he seems confident he's got the skills to do it -- although Mercury is set to go in retrograde from June 18 to July 12.

BEWARE!!!

Pastor Tony Spell Defies Law Wearing Ankle Bracelet ... SUNDAY SERVICE PACKED

042620_tony_spell_kal2 4/26/20
SCREW CORONAVIRUS
Central City News

Reverend Tony Spell is flirting with death yet again ... because he's defied authorities again and jammed people into his church ... despite being on house arrest.

Spell displayed his ankle bracelet to his congregation, saying it was a cryin' shame that people have to "hide." Unlike most responsible religious leaders he has not been performing services virtually.

Shockingly, Spell blurted out that his congregation is practicing social distancing because if they were not self-quarantined in the same house they were told not to touch. That's NOT social distancing. It means PHYSICALLY being at least 6-feet away, which they weren't.

As for that pesky problem that Spell was arrested for allegedly trying to run over a protester and placed on home confinement ... well, Baton Rouge Central Police Chief Roger Corcoran tells TMZ, "It will now be up to a judge on whether he's picked up or not, and what his punishment will be."

One thing's clear ... Spell will continue defying the law, doctors and scientists as he puts his entire congregation at risk, in a state where the coronavirus has exploded and caused misery and death.

Chief Corcoran says ... "It's a blatant disrespect to the law and to the judge's order. It's further proof Tony Spell is out for himself and has no respect for the law."

And, it gets bats**t crazier ... there's a protest scheduled Monday outside the PD to protest the "unconstitutional arrest of Tony Spell" ... organized by TV evangelist Joshua Feuerstein.

It's not as simple as saying if they want to die then that's their right, because as we learned in other states ... one massive event like spring break or even a funeral can cause a cataclysmic outbreak.

Pastor Tony Spell On House Arrest After Playing Coy On Potential Church Service

Pastor Tony Spell had to consult God on whether he'd continue defying Louisiana's stay-at-home order after getting released from custody -- but a judge didn't wanna wait for the man upstairs ... putting an ankle monitor on the preacher instead.

The Baton Rouge minister got placed on house arrest Saturday after playing coy with a court magistrate, who demanded to know whether Tony was planning to hold a church service this coming Sunday -- this, of course, after he bailed out of jail with a $5k bond.

Tony Spell Released
CAN'T SHAKE MY FAITH
The Advocate (Baton Rouge, LA)

Welp, PTS didn't have a clear answer for the judge -- and after he was given 'til the end of the day to tell him his plans, Pastor Spell instead sent a cryptic response ... a scripture from the Bible, Peter 3:14, specifically, which is all about doing the right thing despite the uproar.

It reads, "But and if ye suffer for righteousness' sake, happy are ye: and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled." Sounds like Tony WAS planning to do it. And, lo and behold, that was enough for the judge to say enough ... confining him to his home.

Tony's attorney, Joe Long, tells us the monitor was placed on his client around 9 AM this morning. When we reached out to Pastor Spell, he sent us a photo of Rosa Parks with a quote that reads, "You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right."

Tony Spell 4/12/20
PACKED HOUSE
Central City News

See ya Sunday then?

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