Real Housewives

It was all about small penises when Camille Grammer left Boa Saturday night. She was asked if she regretted her comment about Kelsey, "Big hands, big feet, big disappointment." Her response was ambiguous -- burying her face in her hands and cracking either a smile or a wince.

The day before -- after taking a lot of heat for her comment -- Camille said she regretted making it.

So watch the video, and then you be the judge.

Camille Grammer realizes it really isn't all fair in love and war, because she now regrets the comment she made about Kelsey's junk.

As you know, Camille said -- referring to Kelsey -- "Big hands, big feet, big disappointment."

Now she's given TMZ a statement, trying to take it back: "Some joking remarks I made to Kyle Richards got picked up and caused my ex-husband great embarrassment and for that I sincerely apologize. While the media added words and blew it out of proportion, I acknowledge my part in this and regret my remarks."

But it's not all nice, because Camille goes on, complaining she wants to settle their differences "but Kelsey just seems to want to fight this." Camille adds, "I offered a 50/50 physical split with joint custody and was soundly rejected."

Camille says, "Now he will only communicate through lawyers and others and I fear the message we're sending our children."

Small penis comments create big problems.

Kelsey Grammer is seriously lacking in the man department -- at least according to his ex-wife Camille ... who STRONGLY insinuated yesterday that the actor has a small penis.

In a recent promo for "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills," Camille describes Kelsey ... "Big hands, big feet, big disappointment" -- and last night in New York, she said it's true ... telling us, "It was a lot like that. I had that for 13 years, unfortunately."

Not all desperate reality TV stars record music ... some just appear in music videos.

Like a D-list reality TV "We Are the World," wannabe "Real Housewife of New Jersey" Kim G., Tone Tone from "Cake Boss," Robin Kasser from "Millionaire Matchmaker," hunky Jack Mackenroth from season 4 of "Project Runway" and someone named Miguel Allure from "Jerseylicious" all make cameos in a music video for a new catchy dance song by the lead singer of Sister Sledge of "We Are Family" fame.

You can see the reality fame whores partying it up in the ridiculous clip for "Give Yourself Up" by Kathy Sledge featuring Adam Barta ... and let's just say we're at least thankful they aren't singing.

Tareq and Michaele Salahi are on the hunt for a nice clean womb ... because the alleged White House crashers are planning to have a baby through a surrogate mom!!!

The former "Real Housewives of D.C." stars met with professionals at the Northern Virginia Center for Surrogate Parenting a few days ago in the hopes of getting the process underway ASAP.

Michaele tells TMZ she wants to go with a surrogate because she suffers from multiple sclerosis ... and she worries that her condition combined with her age (45) ... is not safe for a baby.

Alleged White House crashers Tareq and Michaele Salahi are HUGE down under -- in fact, we're told, the "Real Housewives of DC" stars are closing in on a deal to appear on Australia's "Dancing with the Stars."

The offer's already on the table for next season -- and sources tell TMZ, Tareq and Michaele are just hammering out the nitty gritty before signing on the dotted line.

And to prove just how famous they are over there -- we're told the couple also shot a commercial for an Australian laundry detergent last week ... LAUNDRY DETERGENT.

"Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" star Taylor Armstrong and her soon-to-be ex-husband are now co-defendants in a lawsuit accusing them of shady business dealings.

Two weeks after Taylor filed to divorce Russell Armstrong ... they're both being sued over allegedly misleading investors in a company called NuWay Digital Systems, Inc. (NDS).

Russell -- a venture capitalist -- was CEO of NDS -- which held interest in another company called MyMedicalRecords.com (MMR).

In the lawsuit, MMR claims Russell collected more than a million dollars by selling off NDS shares to investors who were told they were getting a piece of MMR.

The suit claims Taylor and Russell "successfully and secretly" funneled money away from MMR and into their own pockets -- allegedly using the money to invest in a schmancy restaurant with Eva Longoria ... and to redecorate their mansion.

MMR and the Armstrongs reached a settlement over the whole mess ... and the lawsuit claims they have breached that agreement.

MMR wants $1.5 million to make things right.

TMZ has learned the stars of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" were well aware of Taylor Armstrong's claims of spousal abuse ....long before her allegations went public.

Sources connected with the show tell us ... Taylor had showed her castmates bruising and other injuries, claiming her husband Russell was responsible.

According to sources connected with production, Taylor -- who filed for divorce from her husband Russell earlier this month -- was adamant about hiding what she has called a physically and emotionally abusive marriage.

And, sources say, Russell even got "aggressive" with Taylor at an event, and execs from Bravo witnessed it.

Taylor told People.com, her arguments with her husband often got physical -- with Russell grabbing her, shoving her, and pulling her hair.

Eat your heart out, LeAnn Rimes.

Sources tell TMZ ... the agreement outlines who gets the kids, when and where, etc. We're told Camille will have both kids more than Kelsey, but the agreement accommodates Kelsey's work schedule.

The kids will not be separated. You'll recall, at one point Kelsey's lawyer recommended that the couple's son would fly to Chicago to stay with him, and their daughter would stay with Camille in L.A.

Our sources say the underlying issues between the couple have not been resolved -- i.e., money and permanent custody.

If you haven't seen the show ... it's because it went straight to DVD .... and it's also not a reality show ... but rather a scripted series with some seriously religious story lines.

Problem is ... Bravo holds the trademark on the "Real Housewives" name ... and the network claims "Bible Housewives" creator Ty Adams never got permission to use it.

A rep for the network tells TMZ ... "Bravo is in no way associated with this project" ... adding, "We vigorously protect our trademarks and take appropriate action when necessary."

Armstrong cites "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for divorcing Russell Armstrong, her husband of nearly 6 years.

The couple has a 5 year old child. Taylor is asking for joint legal and primary physical custody.

She's also asking for spousal and child support.

We've learned there is no prenup.

According to officials in Gwinnett County, Bryson Bryant was charged with shoplifting and a probation violation around 9 PM local time last night.

It's not his first brush with the law ... Bryson -- who has appeared on the reality show with his mother in the past -- was arrested last year for marijuana possession.

So far, no comment from NeNe.

UPDATE: Law enforcement sources tell us Bryant is accused of jacking two Mach 3 razors from a Walmart .. and was busted by the Walmart security team.

Unreal.

Maybe she should stick to crashing parties.