Cara Delevingne You Got a Cute Dead Dog Here, I Painted a Picture of Him

Cara Delevingne was devastated when her dog died 2 years ago ... and didn't look much happier this week when she got a postmortem print of the pup.

Artist Andrew Gonzalez gave Cara a digitally made portrait of her French Bulldog, Mouse, this past Thursday -- where he's seen on a cloud with a pair of wings ... eating bacon.

Gonzalez had given Cara a portrait of herself in 2014, right around the time Mouse passed. This time, he says security let him hand the newest one off to her personally before the opening of the Westfield World Trade Center H&M store in NYC.

He says Cara almost broke out in tears, telling him she'd hang it up at home -- and thanking him with a hug. From the looks of her face, though, we're guessing she was less excited than last time.

Anthony Bourdain Bites Back at Dog Meat Heckler with Perfect Comeback

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CRASHIN' THE STAGE
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Anthony Bourdain shut down a protester accusing him of eating dog meat in the most Bourdain way possible.

Anthony was in the middle of his live show, "The Hunger," earlier this week in San Francisco when the woman charged the stage. AB was just trying to do a little promotion for his new book, 'Appetites' ... co-authored with Laurie Woolever -- but the protester had other plans.

For some reason she was convinced he enjoys a fine cut of Fido, but the audience had Bourdain's back -- not that he needed it ... his puppy-related rebuttal is hysterical.

We got Anthony the next day and he reiterated -- he's never had a bite of man's best friend. As for the puppy line ... obviously a joke too. Hecklers beware!

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I DON'T EAT DOGS!
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'Criminal Minds' Ex-Exec My Pooch Didn't Bite Your Caboose ... It Was Just a Scratch!!!

An ex-showrunner over at "Criminal Minds" has a situation on his hands that's less feet-kicking-legs and more teeth-biting-ass ... according to an alleged victim.

Construction worker Timothy Swing tells us he was working this week at the home of former "Criminal Minds" executive producer Edward Bernero when 1 of Ed's 3 Dobermans sank its teeth into his right butt cheek.

Tim says he got a tetanus shot at urgent care, and Edward offered him $3k to make the whole thing go away.

Here's the problem ... Tim says he was poised to rake in almost $13k from the 5 month gig before getting chomped on day 2 ... and Ed never made good on the payment.

Ed has a very different story. He says Tim called the dogs over and started playing with 1 before another jumped on him from behind and scratched him -- that's it. Ed says he felt bad and wanted to help with the bill, until Tim demanded $3k.

Meanwhile, Tim tells us Ed has reached out and offered him some cash ... in return for a promise not to sue.

ABC News Sued You Jacked My Fat Cat And It's Gonna Cost You a Chunk!

ABC News lifted a photo of NYC's fattest cat and posted it without permission ... according to the photographer who's now suing the network.

Stephen Yang is a professional photog who typically licenses his pics, but in his lawsuit he says ABC News used his shot of Samson -- dubbed the largest cat in NYC at 28 pounds -- and never paid him a dime.

According to the docs ... Samson got famous for his size, and also because his owner, Jonathan Zurbel, takes the enormous pussycat all over Brooklyn in a pet stroller. So hipster.

Yang says all that attention is why ABC News posted its story on Aug. 12th with his jacked photo. The story's been shared more than 900 times on Facebook, and Yang is suing for a cut of ABC's profits.

We've reached out to the network, so far no word back.

Ace of Diamonds Strip Club Mally Mall's Monkey Not Kosher With Public Health Dept.

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WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
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Mally Mall's Halloween stunt -- bringing his monkey into a strip club -- might prove costly for the club ... TMZ has learned.

L.A. County's Dept. of Public Health confirms it's investigating Ace of Diamonds for possible violations after it got wind of Mally Mall bringing his capuchin monkey to the joint Monday night.

Official safety codes prohibit live animals inside any food facility except if it's a service animal or police dog. The owner of AoD's building has a license to serve food ... although AoD doesn't serve grub.

We've reached out to the club, but no word back yet.

For his part, Mally Mall thought Bubbs was a huge hit at the club ... as he told us on "TMZ Live."

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STRIPPERS LOVE MY MONKEY
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Mally Mall's Halloween Monkey Tricks ... Strip Club Treats

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WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
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Normally, yelling "Would you like to pet my monkey?" ... in a strip club would get you immediately tossed out, but Mally Mall changed the game at Ace of Diamonds.

The 'Love and Hip Hop' star brought his little friend -- a capuchin monkey -- to hold his cash and tend to his harem. Mally was sporting a sheik costume, complete with a train of women. The video is crazy 'cause the monkey seems totally at home. Something tells us this ain't his first strip rodeo.

The Game was also taking in the action at AoD, without a primate, but you can see ... he still did alright.

Model Mara Teigen New $9,000 Pooch Gets Perfect Name

Mara Teigen not only looks like Angelina Jolie -- she's spending like she has Angie's bank account ... dropping nearly 10 LARGE on a tiny, tiny puppy.

Sources connected to the deal tell us the model scooped up a 4-month-old teacup Pomeranian from Betty's Teacup Puppies. Here are the staggering numbers -- $9k for the 1.2 pound dog. We're told she's gonna grow though ... to a whopping 2 or 2.5 lbs.

Mara named her lil bitch Miss Amazing ... and with that price tag, it's hard to argue.

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SO DOGGONE CUTE!
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Mark Harmon Hey Pooch ... Take a Bite Out of Crime ... Not the Crew!!!

'NCIS' star Mark Harmon has a dog that attacked a crew member on set, but the dog has a pretty solid defense.

Sources connected with production tell TMZ, Harmon's dog is a 3-year-old pit bull mix that he rescued as a pup. His name is Dave.

Mark frequently brought Dave to the set, which was a dog-friendly environment. Other cast and crew members brought their dogs as well.

We're told a week ago one of the crew members was roughhousing with Dave ... something he did a lot, when the pooch became scared and attacked.

Our sources say the crew member needed 16 stitches to close the wounds, but returned to the set and is fine.

As for Dave, he hasn't been back to the set, but he's fine and, as we said, has a plausible defense.

Johnny Manziel Crappy Details In $350,000 Lawsuit ... Animal Poop & Debauchery

New disgusting allegations against Johnny Manziel -- who's being sued for more than $350,000 for allegedly treating a $50 MILLION mansion like a giant litter box ... according to a new lawsuit.

As we previously reported, Manziel's at war with the guy who owns the famous Weidlake Mansion in the Hollywood Hills ... where the QB allegedly stayed for most of the summer.

According to the lawsuit, Manziel and his pal entered an 8 month lease to stay at the pad but disappeared after 3 months ... after causing more than $187,000 in damages.

"Defendants ravaged the plaintiff's home," the suit reads ... "They broke doors and mirrors, and failed to clean up and immense amount of dog feces and urine that was left throughout multiple rooms of the house for days, if not weeks."

The owner claims the pee and poo left an "overwhelming stench and permanent staining to expensive couches, hardwood floors, rugs and carpets."

The owner claims he reached out to Johnny to fix the issue and Johnny texted back taking full responsibility.

"This is on me %1000," one of Johnny's alleged texts reads ... "I cannot apologize enough."

The owner says Johnny also promised to cover the damages saying, "I'm a man of my word."

Problem is ... according to the suit, Manziel and his roommate never fixed the problem -- plus they moved out after 3 months and still owe $125,000 in unpaid rent.

Johnny has adamantly denied any wrongdoing and says he never signed any contract that would put him on the hook for rent or any other damages.

Dream Hotel Founder Arrested for Dog Burning

Lindsay Lohan's friend and Dream Hotel founder Vikram Chatwal was arrested by NYPD Tuesday morning for burning 2 dogs with an aerosol can and lighter.

As we reported ... Chatwal allegedly walked up to the dogs on a NYC street outside his apartment last week and opened fire as they were being walked. We got some bizarre video of him right after the incident.

Chatwal was booked on one felony count of criminal mischief -- and 3 misdemeanors ... torturing an animal, reckless endangerment and arson.

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BACK AWAY FROM THE PUPS!
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Comedian Deon Cole A Cat Saved My Life Once

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IT HAPPENED TO ME TOO!
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Deon Cole doesn't think he'd be alive if it wasn't for his cousin's cat who he says saved him from a house fire.

We got Deon at LAX Sunday and asked him about the viral video of a baby elephant rescuing a man in a river, when he recalled his own brush with death -- which he narrowly avoided thanks to a feline.

If you haven't seen the elephant video, check it out below ... it's pretty incredible. Deon's story is pretty incredible too. Animals rule.

Shia LaBeouf Doggin' It with Wifey

Newly hitched couple, Shia LaBeouf and Mia Goth, took their bulldog out for some family fun this weekend.

Shia and Mia were spotted at a dog park in L.A. with their boy, Brando ... just days after their quickie Vegas marriage. Shia's wedding band looks to be a perfect fit.

That's a heavy load. Brando, not marriage.

Hot Model Lindsey Pelas Talks LSU Tiger Mascot ... In The Language Of Cleavage

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LET'S PAWS AND THINK
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There are VERY BIG reasons to watch this clip ...

One ... IG model Lindsey Pelas is going to give some really thoughtful and smart insights on the drama her alma mater, LSU, is having with PETA over its live tiger mascot.

Two ... she's doing it while wearing a low-cut shirt sure to bring out the tiger in most of you guys ... and some of you ladies.

Check out the clip -- she's not really on the side of PETA, and she's not really on the side of keeping the mascot ... but she's definitely on the side of BEING SUPER DAMN FREAKIN' HOT.

R.I.P. Mike VI.

Paris Hilton I Got a New $8,000 Bitch

Puppy love ain't cheap for Paris Hilton -- not when she's scooping up 12 ounces of chihuahua worth $8k ... very delicately, of course.

TMZ has learned the 4-month-old pup was delivered to Paris in NYC on Monday from a boutique teacup breeder.

Paris is a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to teacup pooches ... she spent $25k on two others over a year ago, and bought a teacup Pomeranian in 2014 for $13k. So, if you're keeping score at home, that's about $46k on about 5 pounds worth o' dogs ... in 2 years.

We're told the new dog doesn't have a name yet. Paris is asking her followers to decide on social media, although she's partial to London or Ibiza. We're guessing China's off her short list.

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I'M A LITTLE TEACUP

LSU's Mascot Mike the Tiger Dies ... After Cancer Battle

Sad news from the bayou ... LSU's beloved live tiger mascot Mike VI has died following a 4 month battle with cancer.

The school announced the 11-year-old Bengali-Siberian tiger was "humanely euthanized" Tuesday morning after entering hospice care at his "night house" on the LSU campus.

Mike was diagnosed with a rare form of incurable cancer back in May -- and developed a tumor bigger than a baseball behind his eye that specialists say would have eventually killed him.

LSU says Mike's caretakers kept a close watch during his final hours to make sure he did not suffer.

R.I.P.

Dream Hotel Founder LiLo's Party Pal ... Wanted for Animal Cruelty

Lindsay Lohan's former BFF, Vikram Chatwal, is now a wanted man by NYPD for animal cruelty.

Law enforcement sources tell us a warrant has been issued after an investigation turned up evidence Chatwal allegedly tried to burn 2 dogs.

As we reported ... Chatwal allegedly took a spray can and lighter to the dogs' backs outside his apartment.

We got video of Vikram rambling as he tried explaining what went down. There appeared to be a burn mark on one of the dogs.

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BACK AWAY FROM THE PUPS!
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