PETA

The animal rights group, which usually attacks Brit Brit for wearing fur and buying pets from pet stores, is trying to mend their relationship by offering Spears a job. Her salary? $1000, donated to the charity of her choice.

PETA said, "At a time when so many people in Hollywood, like Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, are making impetuous "pet" purchases, PETA commends Ellen for adopting a homeless animal from a shelter rather than buying a dog. Every animal purchased from a pet store is a virtual death sentence for an animal desperately waiting in a shelter for a home."

In the new PETA ad, which will be revealed today during L.A.'s fashion week, Steve-O is getting cheeky. The ad claims he'd rather go naked than wear fur, but in all probability, he'd just rather go naked anyway.

It doesn't take a genius to know that animal cruelty is wrong, and this ad proves it.

PETA wants Kevin Federline to take custody of Britney's dogs too. Say it with us, everyone, "Leave Britney alone!"

In a letter from PETA Prez Ingrid E. Newkirk, she writes to Fed-Ex: "For the sake of your children and the animals who are at risk while in Ms. Spears' custody, we hope that you will do the right and best thing for all involved and pursue a custody order for the animals so that your sons can continue to have the company of the animals they've grown to adore."

It is unclear whether Newkirk was referring only to canine species or other people surrounding Britney.

PETA announced today that Michael Vick, the embattled Atlanta Falcons quarterback who plead guilty to dog fighting charges, completed an eight-hour class in empathy and animal protection. A little late, no?

Vick took the course at PETA's Norfolk, Virginia headquarters on September 18, was given home study materials, and came back a third time to take a test. PETA is asking the NFL to make empathy training mandatory for all players.

Alicia's ad ruffled the feather's of meat industry honchos in Houston -- and the ad was banned there! So here it is, Houstonians, for those of you who missed it!

Now take a lingering fur-free look at some other celebs who've stripped in the name of our animal friends! Woof!

PETA President Ingrid Newkirk fired off an email to Whoopi that very politely said just how ignorant Whoopi's statement was. "I think a lot of people who live and work in the South -- as PETA does -- will not appreciate the "view" that cruelty to dogs is an accepted Southern pastime. Those who fight dogs do so in New York, Chicago, and even the Republic of

Ireland, and what unites them is lawlessness and callousness, not whether they eat grits or Belgian waffles for breakfast." Newkirk went on to say that "animals are as vulnerable to abuse as children are, and they need your voice more than Vick does right now." Whoops!

Her omnipresent hunky bodyguard also followed suit, revealing that he takes his job very seriously, and carries a big stick.

Miss Dickinson's carcass was then carried through the street on a hunk's shoulders ... becoming just another man between her legs.

According to PETA, for every dog or cat purchased from a breeder or pet store, another dog or cat on death row at an animal shelter must be killed. At the rate Paris and Britney are going, there won't be any pets left for the rest of us! Arf, y'all!

"Forget jail or rehab," PETA Director Daphna Nachminovitch says. "These selfish stars should do a stint in an animal shelter." Hopefully, they've already had all their shots.

After using hand motions to describe how to accurately decapitate a chicken, grossing out the audience more than she usually does, polite talk then resumed. Now Lizzy's in the soup with PETA, and they had this nugget for the right wing chicken winger:

"PETA has two words for Hasselbeck, 'Cluck you!' Next to Barbara and Joy, who expressed compassion, Elisabeth sat there chirping about the joys of killing defenseless birds. Conservatives love animals too, and she ruffled a lot of feathers today. Now that Whoopi has joined the show, maybe it's time for Hasslebeck's head to go on the chopping block."

Rev. Al Sharpton is going to the dogs ... and by dogs, of course, we mean bitches.

Sharpton has turned his attention from celebrity news websites and is lending his voice to a crusade against ... dogfighting? Sharpton and hip-hop honcho Russell Simmons teamed up with PETA to send an open letter to all corporate sponsors of alleged dog fight creep Michael Vick, as well as to the Commissioner of the NFL. PETA picketed New York's Niketown store today.

In their letter, Sharpton and Simmons proclaim, "Hurting animals for human pleasure or gain is despicable ... Our battle must extend to those innocent animals who literally have no voice or choice."

Oh, really, Al? The good Rev was nowhere to be seen last summer, when Beyonce Knowles -- whom he strenuously defended when we called her outfit "roboho" -- was exposed by a PETA ambush for using the fur of smaller "innocent animals" in her fashion line. The confrontation during a lunch at Nobu, was caught on video and obtained exclusively by TMZ.

The swanky British power couple and the foul-mouthed reality TV chef are planning to open a restaurant in Los Angeles.

Oh, yes, Posh is a woman who looks like she enjoys a hearty meal! Once a year! Ramsay tells News of the World, "We've been friends for a while and have spoken about it. There's always been something in the pipeline." Food, glorious food!

Posh, who's meat-free (obviously), has reportedly insisted that the menu offer a range of vegetarian options. PETA-licious! Mrs. Beckham wouldn't dare chow down on plates of greasy fish and chips! The horror!

PETA claims they have been "inundated with phone calls and e-mails from our members who were upset," concerning primates that will be used in the show, as featured in advertisements. PETA claims monkeys in Vegas would suffer from "being displayed in a crowded nightclub with deafeningly loud music, and intoxicated patrons will cause these monkeys trauma, stress, and unnecessary discomfort." Kinda like K-Fed does!

Another reason cited by PETA: "They harbor many diseases that are transmissible to humans, including bacterial, viral, and fungal infections. Primates who have been forced to live in artificial, substandard conditions frequently attack humans."

Ashley, who made PETA's Worst-Dressed list in 2006, looks like she's wearing a black mink and her pint-sized platform jackboots as she leaves the posh Plaza Athenee hotel near the Champs Elysees. Oh, l'humanite!

Mary-Kate opted for a lighter mink jacket, her tragicomic white sunglasses, a green alligator purse, torn black leggings, an unfortunate skull scarf, and of course, yet another pair of five-inch ankle-high witch boots! L'horreur!

TMZ contacted PETA for comment, and Veep Dan Mathews said, "Maybe their granny left them those ratty furs. They should have buried the coats with her."

And the rest of the outfits too!