Paparazzi

Step 1 -- Take care of business in L.A. by railing on Sony for caving to the hackers.
Step 2 -- Go to Los Cabos, Mexico with new wife Amal Alamuddin, Rande Gerber and Cindy Crawford.
Step 3 -- Have lunch outside with an unmistakable promotion for your tequila ... so when you get papped it's actually good for business.
Step 4 -- Revel that you're George Clooney and no one else is.

There were no spells cast on Justin Bieber during his violent face-off with a paparazzo -- and the photog wants to make that crystal clear when he takes Bieber to court.

Sounds strange, but the pap -- Jose Osmin Hernandez Duran -- just filed docs requesting his nickname be left out of the trial. He's accusing Bieber of assaulting him back in May, 2012 at the Calabasas Commons.

Duran's nickname is "Bruja" -- a Spanish handle loosely translated to ... witch, hag or sorceress. According to Bruja's attorney, the nickname relates somehow to his appearance -- but there's no evidence he actually "practices witchcraft."

Glad that's cleared up.

One other translation of "Bruja" is ... whore. The docs make no specific denial of that word.

Charlize Theron can play with her 2 year-old son without fear of hikers who jump to conclusions ... at least when she does it in the middle of Los Angeles.

The Oscar winning mom was out with BF Sean Penn yucking it up in front of the paparazzi.

We broke the story ... a hiker called 911 after hearing Jackson's screaming mid-temper tantrum Friday. Cops quickly realized the kid was fine and it was a false alarm.

This time there were only screams of joy.

Brody Jenner just went nuclear on a photog for asking a polite question about his stepsister.

It all went down at Sydney Airport after Brody arrived to a surprising amount of fanfare -- but when the photog asked him what Kim Kardashian thought of Australia ... Brody WENT OFF!

Brody rushed toward the paparazzo, but stopped short of taking him down. The outburst makes it seem like he's got a serious grudge against someone. On the surface, it might appear that he and Kim don't get along, especially cause he didn't go to her wedding -- but did attend the wedding of her ex-BF Reggie Bush.

But the more likely scenario is that Brody feels like he has his own life and is not living in the shadow of anyone else. He's also pissed off at paparazzi who ask questions about other members of his family ... namely Bruce Jenner.

Suge Knight menacingly got in the face of a female photographer and repeatedly called her a "bitch" moments before he and Katt Williams allegedly tried to snatch her camera ... and we have video of the run-in.

This is the first video of the Sept. 5 Beverly Hills incident that got Suge and Katt arrested for robbery last week. The clip starts with Suge going after a male paparazzo, but then he starts berating the chick pap from a distance -- accusing her of taking pictures of his son.

Then it gets real scary. All 6'4" of Suge marches over to her, and unleashes the threat ... "I got a bitch to come beat your motherf***in' ass!"

It's interesting -- as we first told you ... Katt Williams denies laying a hand on the photog, but does say a female companion of his intervened because the pap was taking shots of Suge's young son.

Kanye West can move product ... and he proved that with a single push of a button Thursday ... and a marijuana-fueled clothing company is reaping the benefits.

The always fashion-conscious Yeezus became a Pied Piper of sorts with the pic he snapped of a pap wearing a sweet sweaty. The manufacturer -- D9 Reserve -- instantly sold out ... more than 300 sweatshirts at $135 a pop. That's a cool $40K.

D9 is big in the weed scene, promoting pot in its fashions.

As for the sweatshirt, the company does not plan to restock, which will make the 300 instant classics.

Kanye West doesn't fraternize with photogs ... but when one of the guys snapping his pics is wearing a dope sweatshirt -- Yeezus changes his tune.

Mr. West was catching a cab Wednesday in New York City when one of the photogs caught Kanye's eye ... his fashion eye.

Kanye put his trip on pause and snapped a few pics of the sweatshirt.

But maybe the most puzzling thing ... why is Kanye taking a Yellow Cab?

Katt Williams says he and Suge Knight were falsely arrested because they were not trying to steal a camera ... they were trying to protect a 5-year-old child from an unethical photographer.

Katt talked to our photog hours after his release Wednesday in Malibu ... he's characteristically cryptic ... but it seems he's saying he and Suge saw the alleged victim shooting a 5-year-old who was alone in an alley and suggested the photog was doing something inappropriate.

According to Katt ... the female photog said she would erase the video but then booked it, so they gave chase. And, he says they never took the camera.

Suge Knight and Katt Williams got busted today for allegedly snatching a camera from a female photographer in Beverly Hills.

The alleged incident went down back on Sept. 5 outside a studio ... according to the L.A. County D.A.

Katt was arrested this morning when he showed up in court for an assault case -- and TMZ obtained Suge's mug shot ... taken after he was nabbed in Las Vegas. They were booked for robbery.

Both men have lengthy rap sheets ... and as a result the D.A.'s Office says Suge could face 30 years to life in state prison -- while Williams could be nailed for up to 7 years.

We shot video of the alleged victim talking to cops right after the run-in.

Anne Hathaway has mastered the fine art of avoiding the paparazzi ... especially when she's dripping in sweat after yoga class.

Anne hit up a yoga gym in West Hollywood on Wednesday, and things got interesting when she left. The gym staff teamed up to move her Porsche (but not easily) right next to the exit -- so Anne could make an incognito getaway.

Not much to see of Anne here, but the silver lining -- there's a lot to see of one of her yoga instructors.

Jennifer Lawrence has a hard time eating out ... and if you have any doubt, watch this video of her leaving Ago on Wednesday night.

None of the photogs got to ask her what she thought of rumored BF Chris Martin getting tenderly stroked by Gwyneth the night before at a Brentwood restaurant.

James Franco took down a photog while leaving the Lana Del Rey concert Friday night in Hollywood ... this according to the paparazzo -- who now wants justice.

Franco attended the LDR show at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery and based on the pics it looks like James may have just been joking around when it happened.

The photog obviously wasn't playing around though ... he went into an LAPD office Saturday morning to file a report -- claiming he's got broken equipment and a minor back injury.

We're told police will pass the case onto detectives this week.

Justin Bieber mixed it up Tuesday with the paparazzi in Paris and appeared to throw a punch during the fracas.

We're told Bieber and his crew tried to clear the photogs out of the way as they entered their hotel after dinner.

Check out Bieber -- inexplicably dressed in a camouflage jacket and pants with black leather sneakers -- his hand just below the neck of one photog ... another photo shows Bieber appearing to be in mid-punch.

Biebs has been a busy boy in Paree ... dining with Kendall Jenner and later partying with Kendall, Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Paris Hilton and GF Selena Gomez ... but avoiding Miranda Kerr like Ebola.

Parisian police couldn't care less Kim Kardashian was attacked while making her way through paparazzi at a Fashion Week event ... they say the assault means nothing to them ... and don't understand why Americans make such a big deal of it.

An official from the Prefecture de police de Paris said unlike the cops in the U.S. ... the Paris police don't become involved in such "minimal situations."

So cops tell us they will take NO action against Vitalii Sediuk for trying to tackle Kim to the ground.

It's a pretty laissez-faire attitude ... considering Princess Diana was killed in Paris 17-years ago while trying to flee from paparazzi.

As we previously reported ... Kim and Kanye beefed up their security while in Paris.

Sacrebleu!

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are bulletproof -- or will be very soon -- because they're ramping up their personal security -- complete with ARMORED VEHICLES -- after a frightening assault in Paris.

Our Kim and Kanye sources say ... K&K were "freaked out" after Kim was almost tackled to the ground by a crazy man. They're especially upset because the Paris paparazzi are following them in hordes ... and crowd control has become extremely difficult.

Our sources say ... they've hired 2 additional teams of armed bodyguards who will encircle them whenever they're in public during Fashion Week.

We're told Kim and Kanye will NOT retain the additional security when they come back to the U.S. They feel Paris has just become too insane for them to handle.

Former "Catwoman" Julie Newmar took a big spill at LAX Monday and she's blaming an aggressive photog for her cuts and bruises … and for ripping her $89 stockings.

Newmar told cops she was getting out of her wheelchair to get into her car when she became disoriented from the camera flashes.

Catwoman didn't land on her feet this time ... she fell on her hands and knees … bloodying them. Newmar filed a police report, but we're told nothing will come of it since the photog didn't commit a crime.

Newmar told us the worst part was ripping her Wolford stockings.

She's going to sue for lost profits -- she couldn't appear at a film festival. And we're guessing she wants the 89 bucks as well.