Paparazzi

Kelly Osbourne fell flat on her ass all by her lonesome ... and Kelly is full of crap when she says the paparazzi pushed her to the ground ... so claim the photogs.

Osbourne was photographed leaving a restaurant/bar in London Tuesday night with boyfriend Ricki Hall. The photos tell the story ... she ate it big time.

Kelly took to Twitter, claiming she got "pushed by paps." But the photogs on the scene tell us … she looked "a bit worse for wear" and slipped. We're guessing the American translation for "worse for wear" has something to do with alcohol.

Malia Obama went to a famous L.A. restaurant Monday night -- a restaurant regularly frequented by celebs and paparazzi -- and when the White House found out a photog took her pic, they went into DEFCON 1 to KILL the photos.

The 16-year-old went to Gjelina in Venice, CA with some friends. The photog got the pic as Malia walked out and then sent it to the AKM-GSI agency to sell. The agency posted the pic on its website for media outlets to purchase, but several hours later The First Lady's Office called AKM-GSI and asked them to please take the pics off the website and delete them from their files.

We're told Michelle Obama's people told the agency they had promises from various media outlets not to photograph the 2 girls when they were not in the presence of their father.

AKM-GSI then agreed, sending an email to the media with the subject, "URGENT SET KILL NOTICE."

The text reads, "Please delete the set of Malia Obama from your archive. The set was sent around earlier today. We cannot distribute this set."

Now here's what's interesting. Malia has been in L.A. over the last few weeks, doing an internship on Halle Berry's TV show for part of the time. Then she showed up at a famous restaurant -- Secret Service in tow -- with photogs all over the place.

So is this a case of the President and First Lady taking precautionary action, or is this a concerned famous mom and dad flexing their muscles?

Justin Bieber's bodyguards got physical with paparazzi trying to shoot his arrival at a yacht party in Miami -- prompting Justin to get a little whiny ... pleading about how difficult his life has become.

Watch the vid ... Justin was about to kick off his booze-filled 4th of July bash when one of his bodyguards -- who's already been arrested in Miami -- threw a hard forearm into the chest of a pap running up to the scene.

To his credit, Justin tried to calm the situation from the backseat of his SUV limo -- asking the paps to just back up 10 feet, but when they didn't he went into woe-is-me mode.

You gotta see Justin beg a female photog, "This is so ridiculous. Look what happens in my life."

Justin Bieber was in a car accident in Bev Hills Tuesday at 2 PM PDT ... after a car driven by a paparazzo was chasing the Escalade in which Bieber was a passenger -- eyewitnesses tell TMZ.

We're told the Escalade was going down Canon Drive at a fast clip, trying to lose the photog, when a BMW was pulling out of a parking structure near Bouchon restaurant. An eyewitness tells us ... the BMW misjudged the speed of the Escalade and smashed into it.

We're told Bieber almost immediately got out of the SUV and into another car and sped off.

Kanye West won't be picking up trash on the side of the road any time soon ... because we've learned he's kicking off his community service in fashionable form -- teaching at a fashion school.

Yeezy hit up the L.A. Trade Technical College Monday in his paparazzi beatdown criminal case to speak with students about his personal experiences in the fashion biz ... and hopefully about leather jogging pants as well.

We're told this is Kanye's 3rd visit to LATTC in the last 6 weeks (see pic above) ... which specializes in designing apparel. Today's lesson was all about designers and it lasted 3 hours.

In case you don't remember -- Kanye cut a plea deal back in March -- avoiding jail by agreeing to 24 months informal probation and 250 hours community service.

We're told Kanye has been chipping away at his hours by speaking at multiple colleges.

Still -- not a bad way to knock out community service ... and avoid wearing that unflattering orange vest ... it's so last season.

Jennifer Lopez takes her security very seriously ... because today in New York, she strolled all of 30 feet flanked by a TEAM of security that acted like it was escorting the president.

JLo was leaving an office building Thursday afternoon when our photog tried to ask her about the anti-paparazzi clause in her divorce settlement with Marc Anthony.

But her team -- at least 3 bodyguards and 2 handlers -- had ALL sides (even that one) covered ... making it clear NO ONE gets close to JLo.

Brittny Gastineau wanted everyone to know ... she got a wicked black eye from someone or something.

Kim Kardashian's BFF showed up at Craig's restaurant in West Hollywood Tuesday night -- the place to go if you want to be photographed by paparazzi. She went there with her mom, who told photogs, "You know, Angels, when they hit earth, it hurts a lot." But they weren't specific.

Now ... if you think they didn't go to Craig's to be photographed, think again, because earlier in the evening they went to Mr. Chow in Bev Hills, the other place in town where you are certain to get papped.

So we're left with this mystery -- who eats 2 dinners?

Shelly Sterling was full-on mobbed by paparazzi as she left Craig's restaurant in West Hollywood Tuesday night ... and she was also epically photobombed by the girls from "Famous in 12."

Shelly has been low-profile since inking a deal last week to sell the L.A. Clippers. So it was a feeding frenzy outside the restaurant when Jameelah, Taliah and Maariyah Artiaga latched onto her like moths to a flame ... and it's hilarious.

The girls are part of a TMZ social experiment ... we moved their family to L.A. from a small town and we're giving them 12 weeks to scheme their way to fame. The show airs Tuesdays on the CW at 8 PM.

So far ... crazy.

The always charming Donald Sterling ran a clinic on "How to Win Friends and Influence People" yesterday ... when a photog asked the disgraced Clippers owner how he was doing.

Sterling's response -- well, he basically told our guy to go F himself.

It's not like Donald's got a lot to be happy about these days -- his estranged wife sold his team, he's been banned for life from the NBA and he's being sued by an alleged former employee who claims D.S. subjected her to a bunch of offensive comments.

Kanye West was in his danger zone last night (LAX) .... surrounded by his greatest anger trigger (paparazzi) … but he went through without incident.

Ye and Kim Kardashian arrived at the airport and were met by a slew of paps. First, our guy asked if the couple had seen Seth Rogen's parody Vogue cover. A bunch of other questions were hurled, but Kanye stayed cool.

He really doesn't have an option. He's on probation in the LAX assault case and ordered to undergo anger management therapy.

But something else happened. Some random people screamed out his music sucks, and "make me rich!" Maybe they knew ... Kanye paid one of his assault victim's more than $250K for a smack to the face, so he established a going rate.

Kanye West isn't out of the woods after striking a plea deal in the criminal case stemming from his photog attack last summer -- he's still facing a nasty civil lawsuit ... and we're told the pap is determined to take the rapper to trial.

Normally in civil situations involving celebs -- car accidents, fights, property damage, whatever -- the victim settles for a quick payday in exchange for dropping their lawsuit ... but not this time.

Sources close to photog Daniel Ramos -- who sued Yeezy for assault and battery after the LAX incident -- tell TMZ, Ramos is so confident in his case, he's refusing to settle for any amount of money ... he wants to go the whole nine with Kanye and bring his ass to court.

We're told a trial date has already been set in the case and Ramos is going full steam ahead -- no sign anywhere of a settlement agreement.

And get this -- we're told Ramos' attorney Gloria Allred has already sent Kanye notice for a deposition ... and you thought Lil Wayne and Justin Bieber were good.

The Mission: Boxing legend Bernard Hopkins wanted to take a stab at being a TMZ paparazzi on the streets of NYC today.

The Target: MTV star Kristin Cavallari ... who also happens to be married to Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler.

The Result: Bernard started off strong ... but things fizzled pretty quickly when it became clear Kristin had no idea who he was.

The Best Part: Bernard's post-shoot analysis ... where he talks about his paparazzi strengths and weaknesses ... and reminds us that Kristin's smokin' hot.

Justin Bieber lost his cool under oath Thursday, when a lawyer started peppering him with questions about Selena Gomez ... TMZ has learned.

Bieber sat for a 4 1/2 hour deposition in Miami in connection with a lawsuit filed by a photog who claims last June Bieber sent his hired muscle to beat him up.

The contentious lawyer for the bodyguard drilled Bieber on a variety of subjects, but things spun out of control when Selena Gomez was raised.

The lawyer started asking if Selena was present during any incident involving fights with photogs. Bieber's lawyer, Howard Weitzman, felt the lawyer was just trying to get a rise so he objected. But the lawyer persisted and asked again ... Bieber was fuming and Weitzman jumped in and said his client was being harassed.

The photog's lawyer asked about Selena again, and at that point Justin and Weitzman stood up and left, and as Justin was leaving he screamed, "Don't ask me about her, do not ask me about her!"

Five minutes later they returned but things got even hotter. At one point Bieber responded to a question with the word "Yeah." The lawyer said, "Do you mean yes?" To that Bieber responded, "What the f*** is the difference between yeah and yes?!"

A short time later Bieber fired back, "What is this, "60 Minutes?" At another point he responded to a question by saying to the lawyer, "OK Katie Couric, what's your question again?"

And even TMZ got in the act. The lawyer showed Bieber multiple TMZ posts, and the singer accused the lawyer of having an obsession by constantly surfing TMZ for Bieber stories.

And finally ... the lawyer asked Bieber if he has a prescription for Xanax, and Bieber responded, "No."

Justin Bieber better grab a warm jacket ... because he's about to get the third degree -- courtesy of the lawyers repping the Miami pap who's suing the singer for battery.

Bieber just arrived for his deposition in the lawsuit filed by photog Jeffrey Binion, who claims Bieber's bodyguard Hugo Hesny choked him and stole his camera equipment last June outside a Miami recording studio. Binion claims Bieber ordered the attack.

The deposition is going to be ruthless -- sources tell us, Binion's lawyers are ready to go to war and are planning to ask Bieber hundreds of questions about EVERYTHING ... not just the Miami incident.

We're told the lawyers will cover every other pap scuffle ever -- including the most recent one in Atlanta -- as well as Bieber's drug use. And it won't end there either.

Protecting Sir Paul McCartney is no laughing matter -- and last night his bodyguard threatened to open a major can of whoopass on photogs ... in the form of a stun gun.

The altercation went down right after Sir Paul and Dave Grohl were wrapping up a double date for dinner at Crossroads restaurant.

McCartney was stepping into his chauffeur driven ride ... and the bodyguard clearly thought the paparazzi were getting a little too close, 'cause he barked out ... "Don't make me use my stun gun!"

Simon Cowell is drawing a line in the sand ... paparazzi who want a piece of him will have to answer to his bitches.

Cowell's Yorkies -- Squiddly and Diddly -- aren't taking crap from the photogs who got their owner in trouble earlier in the week for allowing them on the beach in Miami. Cops gave Simon a warning ... one which he clearly didn't heed.