Paparazzi Video

Don't expect Jay Leno to hijack "The Tonight Show" back from Jimmy Fallon ... because the ex late-night host swears he's done with TV ... FOREVER.

Jay was in West Palm Beach Florida -- but not to start his retirement. Leno was there to perform stand-up comedy just two days after his exit from "The Tonight Show."

Jay's answer may come as a surprise ... especially since he left the show in 2010 ... then famously wrangled it back from Conan O'Brien.

Leonardo DiCaprio's penis now stands proudly next to Will Smith and Bradley Cooper's junk -- because a serial prankster made like a lingerie model and buried his face in Leo's crotch last night.

DiCaprio was arriving at the Santa Barbara Int'l. Film Festival when Ukrainian jokester Vitalii Sediuk ran up, dropped to his knees ... and nuzzled his face against DiCaprio's dong for several seconds.

Leo was stunned, but still managed a smile. He's a pro.

Sediuk is a "journalist" who pulled the same crotch stunt with Bradley last month ... and got slapped by Will when he tried to kiss him at a movie premiere.

Security removed Sediuk from Leo's magic stick, but he was not arrested.

Hilarious video -- Maya Rudolph sideswiped a bunch of roadside garbage cans with her SUV Wednesday ... HARD ... and the accident was all caught on tape.

Maya was driving down the road in L.A. -- pretty fast -- when her side view mirror collided with a garbage can and a recycling bin ... sending both flying into the air.

Needless to say, she lost her mirror in the process ... and had to get out of her car to retrieve it. While she was out, she also put the garbage cans back in place.

Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead Sunday in a New York City apartment of an apparent drug overdose ... TMZ has learned authorities found a needle in his arm.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... the actor was found Sunday morning inside a Greenwich apartment ... and they're still on scene investigating.

Our sources say ... Hoffman was found in his bathroom in his boxer shorts, with a needle sticking out of his left arm. We're told police found 10 glassine envelopes -- 2 of the envelopes had heroin ... the others presumably were empty.

One of the envelopes had "Ace of Spades" written on it, and another had an ace of hearts symbol -- such symbols and words are often markers from people who make heroin -- to brand it.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... Hoffman was supposed to pick up his kids at 9 AM Sunday but didn't show -- which was unusual for him. A playwright and a friend became concerned, came over and found the actor alone in the apartment.

Details surrounding his death are unclear ... but the actor had struggled with drug problems ... most recently checking himself into a rehab facility for heroin back in May.

TMZ broke the story of Hoffman going to rehab. We were told he did it as a preventative measure because he was getting close to a major relapse. A source involved in Hoffman's treatment now tells TMZ ... the actor said at the time he was on the brink of becoming a heroin IV user and wanted to nip it in the bud before that happened.

As we previously reported ... Hoffman had been clean for 23 years but fell off the wagon in 2012.

It appears Hoffman's last interview was at the Sundance Film Festival with XiXi Yang from PopStopTV for his movie "A Wanted Man."

Hoffman's family released a statement saying, "We are devastated by the loss of our beloved Phil and appreciate the outpouring of love and support."

Law enforcement sources tell us his autopsy will take place Monday.

Woody Allen fumbled with his phone on his way out of a Knicks game Saturday night ... pretending a photog was not asking him about his adopted daughter's claims he molested her when she was a little girl.

Woody was leaving Madison Square Garden with his daughter Manzie Tio ... just hours after Dylan Farrow unloaded on him by saying he took her to their attic and violated her when she was 7.

Woody mutters something to his family as the photog persists, but never acknowledges him.

There's NOTHING wrong with whores ... so says Kendra Wilkinson -- who claims the United States should STOP arresting people for prostitution when it involves two consenting adults.

The former Playboy model was wading her way through LAX with hubby Hank Baskett Thursday evening ... when she explained why the laws against hooking are just plain stupid.

For the record, there are parts of the U.S. where one could legally purchase sex ... but it's clear, Kendra believes ALL AMERICANS (of age) should be able to pay for ass.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's son Joseph Baena is moppin' up the highway now ... because he just got his driver's license!

16-year old Joseph Baena and mom, Mildred, rolled up to the DMV in Bakersfield yesterday in the brand spankin' new Jeep Rubicon Arnold gave him for XMAS.

Joseph passed muster and drove out a full-fledged driver.

On the ride home ... mom rode shotgun.

Usher and Scooter Braun had nothing to say as they arrived back on U.S. soil after spending time with Justin Bieber.

Several photogs peppered both -- especially Usher -- with questions about what is loosely being described as an "intervention."

Not a word from either.

Flavor Flav is begging the judge in his speeding case for mercy ... because if you can't speed to your mom's funeral ... when can you?

Flav says he was late for the funeral earlier this month ... when he was pulled over for driving 79 in a 55 zone. When the cop learned he was driving on a suspended license, Flav was arrested and taken to jail.

The rapper accuses the arresting officer of having no respect for life ... even in the face of death.

Citizens of South Beach, you can now resume your daily activities ... Justin Bieber finally left Miami -- but not without a ton of fanfare.

Biebs tried leaving his rented mansion Friday night ... but when security couldn't clear a path through a throng of screaming girls ... his people were forced to turn Justin around and sneak him out the back.

As we previously reported ... police claim Justin may have been drag racing when he was arrested Thursday ... but cops may have goosed the facts to justify the stop.

Selena Gomez sought out the paparazzi Thursday night -- gleefully parading into a fancy West Hollywood restaurant on the heels of her ex-boyfriend's arrest.

Selena and dinner date Demi Lovato were grinning ear-to-ear as they were exiting Craig's restaurant ... more than willing to mug for the cameras as they signed autographs for fans.

There's NO doubt ... Selena wanted to be seen, after Justin Bieber and his date Chantel Jeffries were pulled over in Miami Beach earlier in the day and J.B. was popped for DUI and resisting arrest.

DeSean Jackson doesn't seem too concerned that his ex-girlfriend was hangin' with Justin Bieber the morning he was arrested ... insisting he hasn't been paying attention to the biggest story in news.

Yeah ... sure.

We broke the story, the woman in the passenger seat of Bieb's Lambo was Chantel Jeffries -- DeSean's ex-girlfriend.

But when someone asked DJ about the situation at a Pro Bowl event in Hawaii yesterday, the Philadelphia Eagles star claimed he hadn't heard ANYTHING about it ... not a single, solitary word.

Pants on fire?

The real "Wolf of Wall Street" Jordan Belfort still thinks he's king of the world -- despite owing nearly $100 million in restitution to his victims -- dropping names like "Leo" and "Marty" like they're his best friends.

The fast-talking Belfort was running his mouth Monday in L.A. ... and all but took credit for the film.

Pretty shocking, considering Belfort is still way in the red after bilking victims out of more than $200 million in the 90s. He was subsequently ordered to pay back $110.4 million ... so far, he's only ponied up $11.6 million.

Brad Pitt's enlisted a military style haircut, but it's not just for a movie role -- BP now says there's another, more vain, reason for the new 'do.

Pitt cruised into LAX on Sunday looking like he was heading to basic training -- sporting a high and tight fade ... telling paps, "It's fashion, baby."

Truth is Brad's also shooting a World War 2 drama called "Fury" -- but does it really matter?

The 18-year-old who got attacked in a doctor's waiting room by Kanye West is on VIDEO -- outside the building and before the confrontation -- and he appears to taunt the paparazzi as Kim Kardashian walks in.

The barely-a-man screams to Kim, "They're whack, dude. You have to deal with that everyday?" He then excitedly hops up the front steps like a rabbit.

The video stops as Kim walks in. TMZ broke the story ... Kim claims the man then started to hurl epithets to Kim about the paparazzi, calling them "n*****s" and "fa****s" Kim says she then called him out for using the word and then he turned on her, calling her a "n****r lover." At that point Kim called Kanye on his cell -- he was nearby -- and the guy apparently knew Kanye was listening and he called the rapper a "n****r."

We're told the guy walked into his chiropractor's office and Kanye and Kim followed shortly thereafter, and eyewitnesses tell TMZ Kanye punched him in the face.

Jennifer Lawrence is a GREAT actress ... 'cause she ACTED like she wasn't hungover at the Golden Globes -- despite getting TRASHED the night before.

The 23-year-old -- who won Best Supporting Actress -- was actually TOO sober for her own good during her acceptance speech. She said afterwords she wished she had boozed it up beforehand to calm her nerves.