Sylvester Stallone You're So Vein ...

Simon Cowell I'm Crazy About Lauren And the Baby!

Simon Cowell is solely focused on Lauren Silverman and their unborn baby -- despite allegations of betrayal from her estranged husband ... sources close to the couple tell TMZ.

We're told Simon is saying privately that his baby will "want for nothing." He will gladly provide for the child, and not just financially. Simon is saying he will be a committed, fully-involved parent and says he wants a big role in raising the child.

As for Lauren ... people who know Simon say he's never been happier than when he's with her.

Simon is telling friends he knows the situation is "complicated," but he's very confident it will all pass and his relationship with Lauren will endure this situation

Justin Bieber He's a Sleeve To His Fans

Justin Bieber came out smelling -- and looking -- like a rose in NYC after hitting up a tattoo parlor for fresh ink last night.

Justin's left arm is one step closer to a full sleeve today ... after getting a blooming rose on his elbow to fill in an awkward bare spot.

The Biebs was even nice enough to pose for pics with some fans waiting outside the ink shop.

Still ... we gotta give him 3 douche points for the sunglasses at night.

Andrew to Simon You Were Bangin' My Wife BEFORE We Split!

Simon Cowell's FORMER good buddy claims Mr. 'X Factor' was sticking it to his wife before they parted ways ... and THAT'S why he's accusing Cowell of adultery ... TMZ has learned.

We know real estate mogul Andrew Silverman isn't buying what Simon is selling -- that he didn't lay a finger or any other part on Lauren Silverman until after the split.

There's some proof to back Andrew -- photos (above) of Lauren and Simon kissing during a yacht vacation a year ago. By the way, Andrew was also on that trip.

Andrew, we're told, just wants out of the marriage and away from Lauren and Simon, and he's willing to settle custody and financial issues quickly. For now, he's asking for full custody of their 7-year-old son, but it appears from what we know that's a negotiable point.

A source close to Lauren tells TMZ ... Lauren and her husband were over before she and Simon entered into any kind of relationship.

Adultery aside ... we checked with a bunch of English folk who tell us the "Bro Code" extends to the U.K., and Simon squarely violated it.

Scott Disick Yeah, My Rolls Royce Matches My Shoes ... So?

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: If you're wondering who was driving the obnoxious yellow Rolls Royce around L.A. Thursday, it was the douche wearing yellow loafers to match ... Scott Disick.

We tried to contact our douchey fashion expert for comment, but Justin Bieber wasn't available ... so we gotta ask ...

Simon Cowell First Pictures of Baby Hidden Inside Friend's Wife

Here it is ... THE FIRST PHOTO OF SIMON COWELL'S ALLEGED BABY -- unfortunately, you can't really see the thing because it's buried inside the womb of his friend's wife.

Simon's alleged baby mama Lauren Silverman -- the 36-year-old wife of his real estate pal Andrew Silverman -- stepped out in the Hamptons on Thursday, carrying Simon's little bundle of rapidly multiplying cells in her uterus (allegedly).

As we reported, Andrew just filed divorce docs claiming Lauren committed adultery when she conceived Simon's baby.

Adultery ... the real "ex" factor.

Justin Bieber Guy Fawkes Himself

Simon Cowell Accused of Adultery In Friend's Divorce

Simon Cowell is a homewrecker -- at least according to his good friend who filed divorce papers accusing Simon of banging and then knocking up his wife DURING their marriage, TMZ has learned.

Andrew Silverman has filed divorce docs in New York and TMZ has learned he's alleging ADULTERY in seeking to end his marriage to Lauren Silverman ... who is believed to be pregnant with Simon's child.

It's pretty shocking ... in New York claiming adultery is like a legal nuclear weapon ... if proven, the cheating party (and Simon) can be forced to take a DNA test -- something that's hard to get in New York when a couple is married and the wife gets pregnant.

In the docs, Silverman, the plaintiff, lists Lauren as a defendant and Cowell as a co-respondent.

Andrew doesn't pull any punches in the divorce papers, saying, "The nature of this action is: to dissolve the marriage between the parties based upon (1) the commission of acts of adultery by the defendant and (2) defendant's cruel and inhuman treatment of the plaintiff."

Andrew is also seeking sole custody of the couple's 7-year-old son ... and wants the judge to approve the couple's pre-nup they signed back in 2003.

Kardashian Mansion Cops Investigating Pap Trespasser

Looks like Kim Kardashian wasn't lying about a photog trespassing onto Kardashian family territory this week -- we found out ... 1 cop car rolled up to their Calabasas mansion Wednesday ... and we're told police were nosing around about the incident.

As we reported, on Monday Kim posted video online, showing her mother Kris Jenner racing into her backyard in hot pursuit of a paparazzo who had trespassed on her grounds.

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It smelled like BS at the time -- after all, why would Kris put herself in that kind of danger??? But sources close to the Kardashians say police already have a solid lead on a suspect, and dropped by Kris' house to speak with her about the incident.

Translation: Kris Jenner has balls of steel.

Amanda Seyfried I Blue Myself At Movie Premiere

You know how frustrating it can be when you get pen ink on your hand? Well, Amanda Seyfried got some on her forehead ... at a movie screening ... and it was pretty funny.

Seyfried was signing autographs for fans at a screening of her new movie "Lovelace" in New York City ... when she lost control of her blue sharpie, and ended up giving herself a 3rd eyebrow.

Don't worry, she still looks hot ... even after giving herself the Tobias Funke treatment.

Lindsay Lohan Out of Rehab Headed for Sober Coach

90 days in rehab didn't make Lindsay Lohan modest -- 'cause she wasted no time showing off her legs moments after leaving Cliffside Tuesday afternoon.

Lindsay was sporting a huge smile, a blue print mini-dress, suede-fringe jacket and some major baggage -- a big blue one -- as she got into the SUV that picked her up from the Malibu facility.

Sources close to Lindsay tell us she'll be staying with a sober coach somewhere in Los Angeles for the next few days.

As we previously reported, Lindsay's telling people in her life she feels like she needs a transition period before re-entering the real world on her own.

Lindsay checked into the Betty Ford Center back on May 2 to begin her court-ordered rehab stay -- and transferred to Cliffside in mid-June.

Gotta say, so far ... she's looking good.

Justin Bieber Continues Worldwide Search For Lost Shirt

Having assembled a crack search-and-rescue team, Justin Bieber hit the streets of NYC Tuesday morning to continue the grueling quest for his lost shirt.

Some say Bieber lost his shirt in Connecticut this month ... some say he misplaced it after a recent concert ... some say it disappeared last year in Miami ... but the truth is ... no one really knows.

There are pics that appear to show the singer wearing shirts in recent months, but Bieber insists it's really easy to Photoshop stuff these days ... so we can't confirm their authenticity.

Justin Bieber: TMZ Superimposed Spitting Pics (TMZ: No We Didn't)

Justin Bieber is accusing TMZ of a spit-conspiracy ... that we "superimposed" photos to make it appear the singer was spitting on fans last week when he really wasn't.

Here's the problem ... he's speaking out of his hairless, Canadian ass.

Justin's rep issued a statement about the incident ... and if your computer screen starts to smell ... well, you know.

"Justin didn't spit on anyone. No fans were below the balcony. TMZ superimposed photos of the fans next to Justin on a completely different balcony to make it appear like he was spitting on fans when he wasn't. In fact, earlier in the day, Justin bought his fans hot chocolate and played them some of his new music. Justin loves his fans."

First, Justin ... there WERE fans below the balcony. In fact, Justin had posted a video of the crowds below his hotel room on his own Instagram page ... showing him on the same balcony depicted in the photos.

Second, the photos were shot by a reputable photo agency and posted on our site per usual. Also, we're not that good at photoshop (see: here and here).

Bottom line -- Justin Bieber clearly thinks you're dumb enough to buy his lies ... and continue to belieb that he's some sort of pop angel sent to this planet to spread the word of Biebdom to the masses.

Taylor Swift vs. Sydney Leathers WHO'D YOU RATHER?

It's a battle of the beltlines!

Here's 23 year-old pop sensation and paddle board amateur Taylor Swift in the Atlantic Ocean (left) ... and 23-year-old Weiner sext-pert Sydney Leathers along the Pacific Ocean (right) -- BOTH rocking high-waisted bikinis recently.

The question is...

Taylor Swift The 1940s Bikini Guys HATE It, Girls LOVE It

The striped, belly button-covering bikini Taylor Swift rocked out in Rhode Island this weekend is DIVIDING THE COUNTRY ... or at least the TMZ newsroom.

Taylor's Bikini...

It's been described as "super cute" and "stylish" by some (the women). It's also been described as "horrible," "diaperish" and "an American tragedy" by others (the men).

Now, we leave this important issue in your hands.

Kobe Bryant Hoofin' It Around Italy With Busted Achilles

With his rehab in full swing, Kobe Bryant proved his achilles is healthy enough for tourist activity this weekend by strolling around Italy with his family.

Kobe -- along with his wife Vanessa and their daughters Natalia and Gianna -- were spotted walking around Capri like regular people.

Kobe recently told an Italian media outlet that he's in the country for vacation -- but found some time to do some rehab at the Milanello Sports Centre, the training facility for famed Italian soccer club A.C. Milan.

As for Kobe and Vanessa ... we broke the story, VB called off the divorce back in January ... and it appears the two are just like peas and carrots again.