Scott Disick Amateur Proctologist
Kourtney Kardashian is trapped firmly in the clutches of baby daddy Scott Disick -- and the soon-to-be engaged couple proved it yesterday in Miami ... showing off some shocking grab-assy PDA.
Someone pass the Purell.
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Cops to Tom Cruise We BUSTED a Drunk Intruder at Your BH Crib
8:40 AM PT -- Sullivan is a self-described model and interior designer who appeared on a reality show in Australia about interior design.
Sullivan says he lives in a home next to Tom's place -- in fact, their backyards share a boundary.
8:17 AM PT -- Cops tell us ... Sullivan has been released and cited for trespassing. He has been ordered to appear in court next month.
One of Tom Cruise's neighbors got drunk, stumbled onto Tom's Beverly Hills property ... and then got zapped with a Taser for his mistake ... according to cops.
BH PD say the man, Jason Sullivan, drunkenly attempted to scale a fence at the Cruise home around 9PM last night ... and was met by a security guard who opened fire with a Taser.
When police officers arrived they caught Sullivan trying to run away from Cruise's house -- and the guard -- and arrested him for trespassing.
The Taser jolt messed up Sullivan badly enough that paramedics had to take him to a hospital for treatment. Cops say 41-year-old Sullivan actually lives in a home "adjacent" to Tom's ... and, due to "intoxication," may have gotten confused and entered the wrong property.
Tom was not home at the time of the incident.
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Angelia Jolie Not-So-Happy Halloween
With two members of her brood looking completely miserable, Angelina Jolie did a little shopping today at a Halloween store in Sherman Oaks.
Better step up your candy game if the Jolie-Pitt clan comes knockin'.
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Diddy Hot Chicks Does a Body Good
Diddy is a FAST healer -- just days after a nasty car accident that left him battered and injuried, the music mogul put together a fairly decent Prince costume and hit up a Halloween party last night at the Playboy Mansion.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to party with really, really hot chicks.
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Emma Roberts I'm a Pretty Woman Too!
Emma Roberts donned her aunt Julia's iconic "Pretty Woman" hooker outfit and hit up a Halloween party in Beverly Hills last night.
It's possible she was dressing up as that 3-year-old girl from "Toddlers and Tiaras" ... but we're guessing that was not the case.
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McKayla Maroney Cheetah = Not Impressive Bird = Impressive
As the world is well aware, Olympian McKayla Maroney isn't impressed by much, but we may have finally found something that she actually does appreciate ... an exotic bird.
While the cheetah exhibit at Busch Gardens Tampa Bay elicited her trademark bored smirk on Thursday, the 16-year-old gold medal winning gymnast showed some positive emotion and appeared generally excited with an African Ground Hornbill perched on her arm.
She's so fowl.
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Cameron, Gwyneth & Chris Three-Way Dinner Date
It was a ménage à trois dinner date, as Cameron Diaz got cozy with new bestie Gwyneth Paltrow and her Coldplay hubby Chris Martin while enjoying some sushi at Sugarfish in Brentwood on Monday.
Just a bunch of average, everyday super famous A-list beautiful people grabbing a casual bite to eat together. No biggie.
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Rumer Willis Hot, Wet Bikini Babe
Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's eldest daughter, Rumer Willis, showed off her A-list genetics by flashing her smokin' hot bod in a black bikini in Cancun this weekend.
Another member of Hollywood royalty has gone two pieces.
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Felix Baumgartner Jumps Into the NYC Scene
A week after free falling from 24 miles up in the air and breaking the speed of sound, hunky daredevil Felix Baumgartner traded his space suit for hip downtown gear and hit up trendy NYC hotspot Sons of Essex on Monday.
The 43-year-old Austrian's latest stunt is all about diving into Manhattan nightlife.
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A-Rod Gets Shady With GF Torrie Wilson
Despite allegedly flirting with a couple of hot babes sitting near the dugout last week, current NY Yankee Alex Rodriguez was spotted out and in good graces with his wrestler girlfriend Torrie Wilson in Miami on Monday.
Wearing similar his and hers aviator sunglasses, A-Rod and Torrie looked like ever the happy couple after having lunch and shopping together.
If you recall, Alex allegedly hit on the ladies -- with the help of a bat boy -- during the American League playoffs by having them write down their phone number on a baseball.
The 37-year-old former superstar really needs to work on his game.
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Eva Longoria I've ALMOST Rid My Body of Tony Parker
Eva Longoria has a nasty red blotch on the back of her neck -- and she's probably THRILLED about it ... 'cause it used to be a tattoo of her ex-husband's basketball jersey number.
Back in January, Longoria began laser treatments to erase 3 Tony Parker-inspired tats -- the "NINE" tattoo ... the wedding date tattoo on her wrist ... and Tony's initials (which were put on a very private, undisclosed location).
Tattoo removal doesn't happen overnight -- it takes multiple sessions, which have to be spaced out over several months.
But judging by the way her neck looked in Bev Hills yesterday, Eva's body is just a couple more months away from being a fresh canvas again.
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Lance Armstrong Sorry Nike ... I'm an ASICS Man Now
Lance Armstrong has GIVEN UP on Nike ... after Nike gave up on him ... 'cause the disgraced athlete was sportin' a pair of ASICS while jogging in Texas this weekend.
As we previously reported, Armstrong was dropped by nearly all of his sponsors last week ... in the wake of a report by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency in which Armstrong is accused of being one of the worst cheaters in the history of sport.
In addition to being banned from cycling for life, Armstrong was also stripped of his 7 Tour de France titles early Monday morning.
Plus, several major Livestrong donors are calling for their money back ... claiming they were duped into donating to the charity "based on a fraud."
Despite the criticism, Armstrong -- who stepped down from his role as president of Livestrong because of the scandal -- wore his yellow bracelet on his wrist this weekend.
The charity vows it will continue to raise money for cancer research ... even without Lance.
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Justin Timberlake Married Man
Sporting his new wedding ring, Justin Timberlake was spotted out in Fasano, Italy this morning ... after tying the knot with Jessica Biel yesterday.
Some of the famous peeps in attendance reportedly included JT's pals Andy Samberg and Timbaland, as well as Jessica's former "7th Heaven" co-star Beverly Mitchell.
The couple had been engaged since December after splitting for a brief time in 2011.
It's the first marriage for each, though Timberlake has been in several high profile relationships -- most notably with Cameron Diaz and Britney Spears.
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Sam Lutfi Kidnapped Brit's Dog Twisted Affection Play ... Allegedly
Sam Lutfi was so heartless ... he would hide Britney Spears' precious pooch from her and watch her cry and then save the day by "finding it" ... so claims lawyers for Britney's family.
In their opening statements, lawyers for Lynne Spears and the conservatorship told the jury ... Sam tried to look like a savior to Britney and would stoop so low as to emotionally torture her.
Britney's side is painting Sam as a master manipulator who would prey on the singer's weaknesses to build himself up and at the same time create distance between Britney and her family.
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Britney Spears She Bangs
While lawyers, jurors and reporters hear all about the meltdown of Britney Spears and who's responsible for her drug-fueled downward spiral, Britney was enjoying a frothy drink at Starbucks in Encino.
Check out her boots ... and her bangs.
Britney will not have to take the oath, because the judge in the defamation case has ruled she does not have to testify since she's currently under a conservatorship.
She may not be present in court, but Sam Lutfi is hell-bent on putting her life on trial.
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Sam Lutfi Britney OD'd on Amphetamines The Night She Was 5150'd
Britney Spears took a huge amount of amphetamines the night she was strapped to a stretcher and placed on a 5150 hold -- so claims Sam Lutfi's lawyer in the opening statements of his defamation case.
Lutfi's lawyer, Joseph Schleimer, told the jury, on January 28, 2008, Britney had an amphetamine script filled. Schleimer says she took 6 to 8 pills early in the day, and several more later and went off the rails.
Lutfi's lawyer also said he tried to get Britney to meet with a psychiatrist 2 days before she was 5150'd, but Brit refused.
And there's this ... during Britney's disastrous appearance on the MTV Awards in 2007, Lutfi felt she was such a mess she shouldn't do it, because she was overweight and didn't rehearse, but Britney wouldn't hear it.