Humor

Here's the funniest video you'll see all day ... Pedro Martinez was so upset over the umpiring in an MLB game Tuesday night, he straight-up cussed live on-air!!!

Martinez was breaking down the S.F. Giants' game against the Arizona Diamondbacks on MLB Network when he noticed pitcher Luke Weaver appeared to make an illegal move on the mound.

The Boston Red Sox legend argued the movement should've been called a balk -- and when his co-host explained Weaver's never been called for one before in his career ... Pedro snapped!!

"Well," Martinez said, "the umpires don't know s*** about what they're doing!!"

The outburst was so funny, fellow analyst Harold Reynolds could not stop laughing -- and eventually, Martinez had to say he was sorry for the foul language.

"I'm sorry," Pedro said with a big grin. "I apologize. What can I say?"

Cleveland Browns safety Grant Delpit got straight-up torched this week -- but it wasn't on the football field, it was against a lucky kid who challenged him at a school supplies giveaway!!

Here's the deal -- the ex-LSU star hosted a shopping spree at a local Meijer in Cleveland ... giving kids all the school supplies, toys and clothes they could get their hands on.

But, one confident boy decided to use the event as an opportunity to go face-to-face against 23-year-old Delpit ... claiming he could "Moss" the 2nd-round pick, according to reporter Camryn Justice.

Of course, getting "Mossed" means completely embarrassing a defender with an insane catch or separation on a route ... something made famous by Hall of Famer Randy Moss.

Delpit heard the challenge loud and clear ... and let the kid take his best shot right in the middle of the store with teammate AJ Green playing QB.

The kid lined up for his route ... AND HE'S GOT SKILLS!!!!

Now, we know Delpit wasn't going 100%, but that shouldn't take away from the foot skills and speed the kid put on display as he breezes by the 2019 Jim Thorpe award winner to make the catch.

But, the kid wanted more -- and the second time around, he had a diving catch that would make Mr. Moss himself proud.

Delpit cheered the kid on ... raising his hands and celebrating as the young athlete secures the catch.

Don't be surprised if you hear from this kid again!!

Late-night legend David Letterman crashed the Brooklyn Nets' media day on Monday ... and it was bad news for Kevin Durant, who was interrogated with a ton of tough questions!!

The former longtime "Late Show" host kicked off his round of Qs for the 2-time champ with quite possibly the hardest-hitting question in sports journalism -- asking about Durant's "KD" nickname ... which, of course, has always been a big mystery among fans.

"Why do people call you KD??" Letterman asked.

Durant explained the reasoning behind the moniker with unenthusiastic delivery ... and you gotta give him credit for having the patience to walk Letterman through that toughie.

Letterman had more fire for KD ... asking how much effort he was going to put out on the court this season ... to which he replied, "110%"

The best question came when DL asked if KD would consider playing for the Nets AND Knicks at the same time ... but that's when Durant's patience ran out.

"All right, Dave, that was the last one," he said ... before adding, "They let anyone in here."

R. Kelly is so deep in the red, a lot of people are claiming to be richer than him -- that is, if you believe a site's estimation of his net worth ... which has it pegged as a negative.

At some point this year, Celebrity Net Worth updated R. Kelly's page to list his overall value in assets as negative $2 million ... something the Internet appears to have just caught on to in the past few days or so, including one 42 Dugg -- who was howling over the news.

He posted a video showing himself cackling with his buddies, as they recorded different articles (all circling back to CNW) reporting on Kelly's latest alleged numbers.

Ditto for the rest of Twitter ... whose users are posting jokes about how they're technically wealthier than the one-time R&B icon -- who's in the middle of several criminal cases, as well as one that's about to wrap up, with jury deliberations having officially gotten underway.

As for how Celebrity Net Worth landed on the -$2 mil figure ... it seems they're simply citing a story we broke last year -- in which R. Kelly told a judge, via court docs, that he owed Uncle Sam nearly $2 million in back taxes ... which he cited as a reason why he wouldn't be a flight risk if released on bail. The court shot him down ... he's remained in custody since.

Now, whether or not R. Kelly actually has a negative net worth is pure speculation -- but one thing is for sure ... the guy does seem to be strapped for cash, and apparently has been for years now. He revealed as much himself in song back in 2018 ... calling himself "broke."

Of course, he's been struggling on the business side of things even before "Surviving R. Kelly" aired ... as different streaming platforms took down his music, and several venues refused to book him for concerts. And, with the addition of a cadre of attorneys who've been in and out for at least 2 years now ... you can only imagine the legal bills he's racked up.

A woman got an unexpected (and apparently unwanted) visitor during a boat trip -- it was a sea lion fearing for its life ... who tried hitching a ride as orcas started to close in.

Watch this wild encounter that was captured by a woman who goes by @nutabull on TikTok and lives on Vancouver Island ... where there's plenty of this type of action in the open waters.

Her videos start with the animal already aboard -- which startles her, 'cause she doesn't know where the heck it came from, or how it made its way up. This pinniped's got hops!

Another thing she immediately recognizes in the distance ... that she and/or her vessel are becoming the epicenter of a pod of killer whales that were starting to circle ... seemingly in pursuit of this little guy, who might normally become fish food in the wild.

The orcas get right up against the boat and start to pop out to take a peek at their would-be meal ... who's in no rush to get back into the water, despite this woman demanding he scram.

It's honestly hilarious, but also kinda sad -- because we all know damn well that as soon as it jumps back in, it's almost certainly going to be eaten. There's at least like 3 whales there!

We don't wanna spoil the ending. But, let's just say ... rest easy, sea lion. You lived a long and prosperous life, were sure. Ah damn it -- guess that sums it up. BTW, this woman's rationale for giving it the boot is pretty funny too ... replying to someone in her comments.

Kate Quigley is singling out one of her friends who died in a 4-person overdose incident earlier this month -- and that'd be Fuquan Johnson ... whom she says left an impression.

The comedian posted a photo of her and FJ together, with a lengthy caption that touched on why she hadn't highlighted him before ... and why she's doing it now. Essentially, it boils down to time and processing what happened -- but now she's ready to speak.

She writes, in part ... "I took a lot of heat for not saying something about Fu right away. It's bc idk ... I was really trying to stay alive for days, and I'm still processing fully what happened." Kate also says she didn't want to shout him out specifically -- seeing how 3 people died ... but notes, he was, in fact, special to her.

KQ also has this to say on the question of the drugs being used that night ... "I can't comment on who supplied what. The truth is it doesn't really matter. If you do any illegal drugs, you're basically signing a contract that says, 'I accept that I might die sooner than I would like.' We all know that. I'm not posting to talk about details of what occurred."

Kate finishes by recapping what she'll remember about Fuquan -- namely, that he was as honest and unflinchingly himself ... just like her.

She writes, "I think about him every day, and I'm heartbroken he's gone. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that he has been watching over me every time I get down. I feel him." Kate adds, "And I know he would support me however I had to deal with this, just as I would if only he had survived."

Anderson Cooper is one helluva story teller, but no one could expect this "bat s**t" crazy story -- his famous, and clearly eccentric, mom desperately wanted to be the surrogate who birthed his child ... AKA her grandchild!!!

The CNN anchor was talking about his late mother, Gloria Vanderbilt, Thursday night on "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert" when he revealed that in 2009 -- when she was 85 years old -- she claimed a gynecologist told her she could still carry a child.

Anderson says he was initially concerned Gloria wanted to have a child on her own, but Gloria put him at ease (not at all, really) when she explained ..."I'm not talking about having a child of my own. I mean, that's crazy. I was thinking, you get an egg and fertilize it with a sperm, and I"ll carry your child."

Oedipus say what?!?! 😲

Goes without saying ... Anderson said he was beyond stunned at Gloria's offer, and he made some jokes about the whole ordeal -- but adds, his mom didn't give up on the outlandish idea. He says 2 years later she made one last-ditch effort, and even brought him a newspaper article to support her theory.

Gloria, the famous jeans designer and member of the affluent Vanderbilt family, died in 2019. She was 95.

Chelsea Handler and Jo Koy aren't trying to hide their relationship anymore, and Jo's already playing the good BF role ... hyping her comedian chops at his own expense.

We got the comedy world's new couple Wednesday as they walked into LAX doing that new couple thing ... holding hands as they strolled. Yeah, they're official now.

So, when ya get 2 veteran comedians -- who are dating each other -- there's only one question that comes to mind, right? Who's funnier?

Okay, we admit it's potentially treacherous territory, especially when the relationship's as fresh as Jo and Chelsea's. Still, he didn't hesitate to answer ... telling us it's for sure, Chelsea. As for her opinion? You're gonna have to read her body language.

In the meantime, it's nice to see Jo is no longer sidestepping questions about dating Chelsea -- like he very slyly did when he was recently on "TMZ Live."

In any event ... seems this budding romance is moving fast. This week, Chelsea flat out said she's "finally in love, with the best kind of guy there is."

So, we asked if they'll be pouring all those feels into a joint performance anytime soon -- and it sounds like they're at least thinking about it.

Kim Kardashian is heading into Studio 8H at 30 Rock to do it 'Live' -- she'll be appearing on 'SNL' this season.

Kim's taking up hosting duties for an episode to air October 9 for the upcoming 47th season.

There's also this ... Kim's accompanying musical guest will be Halsey -- who's hosted before. She's been featured a handful of times as the music act, but handled hosting in early 2019. So, Kim can lean on her for some tips.

This seems impossible, but none of the Kardashians have ever hosted with the "Live from New York" crew ... Kim will be the first. Aside from acting in several skits, the thing everyone will be watching for is her opening monologue.

As for how this came together ... we know Kim and Kris Jenner had a face-to-face with 'SNL' honcho Lorne Michaels just last month in Bev Hills -- something their team played down by saying it was just a simple catch-up. Obviously, there was more wheeling and dealing going on during their convo.

Some of the other hosts for this season include Owen Wilson, Rami Malek and Jason Sudeikis. Musical guests include Young Thug, Brandi Carlile and Kacey Musgraves.

It also goes without saying, this is a little risky for Kim ... as she and her family -- including Kanye -- are frequently lampooned by 'SNL.' There's an entire running sketch they've brought back a handful of times over the years, where cast members play Kardashian sisters.

Move over, 50 Cent, there's a new worst first pitch of all time ... courtesy of Conor McGregor's ceremonial toss at the Cubs game on Tuesday!!!

The sharply-dressed UFC superstar strutted to the mound for the first pitch before the Cubbies faced off against the Minnesota Twins at Wrigley Field ... and chucked his attempt about 20 feet to the right of home plate.

As Harry Doyle would say, it was "juuuuuust a bit outside."

On a positive note, McGregor's repaired leg looked great!

The fighter was a great sport about it all ... dapping up Cubs infielder Patrick Wisdom after the wild pitch.

Of course, this is Conor we're talking about ... so we're assuming (and hoping) he was just trying to give fans a fun time.

Then again, we've seen him throw a football before ... and he was mocked incessantly for that, too.

It's a safe bet Conor's pitch will now take honors for "worst first pitch ever" from Fiddy, who had a straight-up embarrassing toss that went wide left before a Mets game in 2014.

Conor's been living it up while rehabbing his leg ... from hanging with Justin Bieber to attending the VMAs (where he also tested out his arm with a different object) and hitting up just about every hotspot L.A. has to offer.

Never change, Conor ... but maybe try some practice throws next time???

Nicole Richie is probably wishing for a fire extinguisher on her 40th birthday ... because her hair was set ablaze during her birthday dinner.

The actress posted a video Tuesday showing herself blowing out the candles on a cake to ring in the big 4-0 -- and all seemed to be going well, until she reached the final candle ... and flew a little too close to the sun.

Some stray strands of her locks made contact with the flame below, and the fire quickly jumped onto her body and started climbing up. It actually looks like the other side of her head might've caught fire as well -- but that was quickly put out by someone nearby.

However, her right side was still caught in the flame ... and she starts to scream as it spreads. The video cuts out before we can find out what happens next -- but we're assuming NR is okay.

Her caption to this read, "Well... so far 40 is 🔥." Pretty jokey, so you gotta figure she walked away from this relatively unscathed. Still, pretty freaky nonetheless.

Conan O'Brien stole the show Sunday night, barreling down the aisle to celebrate Stephen Colbert's Emmy win for Outstanding Variety Special ... thing is, Conan had nothing to do with it!

The famous stage crasher was beside himself with joy -- bear hugging Colbert. As Colbert gave his acceptance speech, Conan was effusive, prompting Colbert to quip, "And all of these people behind me, most of these people behind me ... most of the people behind me really deserve this Emmy right now."

Well, maybe this was all an act, because Colbert said backstage, "I said 'why don't you come on stage with us if we win?' We love Conan. We're honored to be superfans of Conan O'Brien."

And, that wasn't the end ... as the Academy Prez, Frank Scherma, said a few words to the crowd, Conan was back in fine form, saluting him with audible approval.

When the Foo Fighters roll outta NYC, Taylor Hawkins' pockets are gonna be a little bit fatter because he's struck a deal -- a not-so lucrative one -- with autograph seekers.

We caught the drummer as the band was leaving their hotel, and witnessed some cold hard capitalism going down as a handful of guys moved in for Taylor's signature. This was no free-for-all, though -- in fact, it kinda sounded like an auction.

You gotta see it ... autograph seekers start shouting out dollar amounts to get Taylor's attention. Someone offered $40, and TH beelined for him, and signed a photo. We know what you're thinking -- why the hell does a rock star need the few extra bucks???

Well, we put that question to Taylor, and he explained ... it's all about avoiding ATMs and keeping his wife happy. Smart man!

He says there's no going rate, BTW ... seems like he'll take whatever they offer, as long as it's legal tender. Taylor jokingly tried to school guitarist Pat Smear on the art of the deal too -- he needs the help.

Andy Reid will be there for Patrick Mahomes when s*** hits the fan -- or in this case, the diaper -- 'cause the superstar QB says his coach is teaching him how to change his baby!!

Mahomes admitted that he's not an MVP when it comes to changing his 6-month-old daughter Sterling's diaper ... but Coach Reid, who's a father of 5, is helpin' him out.

"I’ve gotten alright at changing diapers. I’m not the best. I’m not going to lie to everybody," the Kansas Chiefs QB said on "Good Morning Football."

"But, I think if you gave me the dummy baby and I could do it on paper, but as far as applying it to a moving baby that’s screaming a little bit, crying a little bit ... I crack a little bit under pressure."

This is coming from a Super Bowl champ who's always dodging pressure and ends up making insane plays that even has the defense impressed ... so it's SHOCKING to hear about the dude's vulnerability.

And, like football, changing diapers is not just a physical thing but a mental as well ... something Coach Reid taught the 25-year-old dad.

"You gotta have the right mentality going in. I think that’s the biggest thing he preaches to me," Mahomes said.

"You gotta have the right mindset going in and know that you might face some adversity when you’re there."

Mahomes also gives credit to his fiancée, Brittany Matthews ... saying she's "an amazing mom, who’s done great job at helping me out becoming a new dad."

Soccer's G.O.A.T. apparently has a problem with sheep ... 'cause Cristiano Ronaldo reportedly had to move mansions this month -- after baaing animals on his property kept waking him up!!!

Shortly after departing Juventus for Manchester United ... Ronaldo and his fam moved into a 7-bedroom pad in the UK -- but packed up and bolted to another palatial estate just days later.

As for why, The Sun says it's because sheep on the first property could not stop making racket!!

The report claims the soccer star was losing sleep over the creatures' sounds ... so "it was decided it was best if he and his family moved."

Don't worry ... Ronaldo's new place is apparently just as badass as the first -- minus the noisy sheep -- with The Sun reporting it's got a cinema room, a pool and a big garage.

Clearly, the moves haven't affected the 37-year-old's play on the pitch -- because he's been stellar in his return to Man U, scoring three goals in his first two games.

Of course, he did have an incident where a wayward warmup shot this week knocked a security guard in the head ... but, hey, with more sleep on the way -- we're expecting far less of that and far more goal-scoring.

Kim Kardashian sees how incredibly close -- and physical -- Kourtney and Travis Barker's relationship is, and newsflash ... she's all about it!!!

Kim told Ellen DeGeneres Wednesday she loves how much her sister and Travis have grown together. She said it's incredible how they went from being friends and neighbors for almost 15 years to where they are now -- which is PDAVille, U.S.A. ... where they're clearly co-Mayors.

Ellen couldn't avoid the obvious topic ... asking Kim why Trav and Kourt can't seem to keep their hands, and tongues, off each other. Kim had 3 words to describe how she feels about it.

Kim did laugh and agree with Ellen that "it's a lot," but in the end ... she finds it cute. Kim says she loves love, so she loves them. There ya go.

As we, and the sickeningly happy couple have documented, it doesn't matter where they are -- in the studio or on a NYC loading dock -- these 2 never have any problem showing some serious PDA.

When their relationship started it was all hands on deck. But, it hasn't been ALL about the physical part -- back in August, Kourtney notably helped Travis fly for the first time since the 2008 fatal plane crash that killed 4 of his friends, and left him with third-degree burns on 65 percent of his body.