Humor

The world's most famous groundhog just made its bold prediction for the rest of winter ... and it looks like we're in for a cold one, folks.

Punxsutawney Phil was awakened, once again, early Tuesday morning for Groundhog Day in Gobbler's Knob, PA and got put to work giving us a forecast for the rest of the season. Ol' Phil saw his shadow ... so, as they say, 6 more weeks of winter.

This year's celebration was a little more pared down compared to its usual gathering, which would include a way bigger crowd of in-person spectators.

Organizers of the annual event streamed it virtually for folks at home, but there was Phil's regular group of "Inner Circle" top hat buddies who attended -- most of whom were masked up ... carrying on tradition.

Now, the fact the woodchuck is expecting more cold days ahead isn't all that surprising ... the furry little bastards have predicted that 106 times over the course of a 135-year run that they've been looking to Phil for a weather report.

This year actually proves to be meaningful, especially up there in the Northeast -- where winter storm Orlena has covered several states in several feet of snow.

So yeah, Groundhog Day 2021 is pretty much spot-on.

Some small investors who have been blocked from making money on the Robinhood platform apparently still have enough money to hire a pilot to send a message -- "Suck My Nuts Robinhood."

The banner flew in the skies above San Francisco ... where the Robinhood headquarters are located.

The message, which is dripping in anger, is an above-earth response to the company's decision to restrict the trading of 50 stocks, including GameStop, AMC and BlackBerry.

Residents of San Fran saw the banner Friday afternoon, much to the delight of many ... especially those who now can't play the same game people on Wall Street have been playing for decades. Remember the late '90s ... when tech stocks were skyrocketing WAY beyond their worth?

The free-trade app got hit with a class-action lawsuit ... one day after Robinhood barred retail investors from continuing to buy stock in companies on the verge of collapse. It became an epic battle between Redditers and hedge fund managers.

Torrey Pines looked more like the set of "Happy Gilmore" on Friday ... 'cause Brooks Koepka hit a tee shot that landed INSIDE a shoe -- and it had everyone wondering, should he have to play it as it lies?!?!?!

The wild scene all went down during the 2nd round of the Farmers Insurance Open, when Koepka smashed a drive down the right side of the fairway that crash-landed into the back of a golf cart.

As Koepka strolled down the North Course's 16th hole ... the 30-year-old quickly realized the ball actually came to rest IN a shoe that was sitting on the back of the vehicle!!!

EVERYONE was immediately reminded of the scene in "Happy Gilmore" ... where Shooter McGavin lost his mind after having to hit a ball "off Frankenstein's fat foot!"

But, fortunately for Koepka, golf's rules actually allowed him to take a penalty-free drop and continue on.

The issue, though? Koepka did NOT want to retrieve the ball from the camera guy's shoe ... saying straight-up, "I ain't sticking my hand in there. You can grab it out of your nasty-ass shoe."

Koepka eventually got everything squared away and he was able to save par.

The bad news ... Koepka's round is currently sucking -- and he's now in danger of missing the cut.

Brian Williams put his dry-wit on full display to troll House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy's meeting with Donald Trump -- and viewers never saw it coming.

The longtime anchor teed up the gag by earnestly telling his guests -- Baratunde Thurston and Bill Kristol -- that he'd obtained exclusive video of the highly criticized Thursday meeting between Rep. McCarthy and Trump at Mar-a-Lago.

What he ended up rolling, though ... was an iconic clip from the Oscar-nominated film, "Jerry Maguire."

The clip alone would've been funny, given the context, but Williams -- who clearly has late-night talk aspirations -- continued to sell the joke with his deadpan style ... claiming he thought it was going to be a vid of the meeting, and "someone’s gonna be, of course, in big trouble."

Trouble is a good word to describe how many anti-Trump folks feel about the Mar-a-Lago meeting between the former President and the House Minority Leader.

McCarthy's taking heat because 2 weeks ago he criticized Trump for inciting the Capitol riots, but now appears eager to work with him -- a sign Trump still has major power with the GOP.

We're getting some behind-the-scenes from President Biden's Inauguration courtesy of Amanda Gorman ... who got some scoop on what was going down between the Obamas.

The poet laureate -- who went viral on Inauguration Day for her rousing piece, 'The Hill We Climb' -- dished to Ellen DeGeneres about being in the company of some huge names on that stage.

Amanda says her mom might've been a little more star-struck than she was ... especially for J Lo and A-Rod. But, as far as hanging with former Presidents and First Ladies, it's clear Amanda's a vet.

Anyway, check out what Amanda says Barack was doing behind the lectern that apparently ticked off Michelle enough for her to say something about it ... multiple times.

It's hilarious, and very relevant for the times. Let's just say Michelle was concerned about the former President's COVID-safety.

Amanda says Michelle had to rein him in, but the more telling thing here is how close Amanda was to the action and how tight she is with the Obamas.

Bill Maher broke with tradition Friday night from his "Goodbye Douchebags" segment celebrating the end of an administration ... this time it was "Hello, Douchebags!"

Bill did not disappoint with his list of "up-and-comers" ... as he put it, "the new, fresh-faced hate-for-profit, truth-bending opportunist that you'll be cursing out for years to come."

Senator Josh Hawley tops Bill's list ... we won't spoil it for you, with one exception -- Maher calls Hawley "the far-right JFK with a little dash of KKK."

Then there's Rep. Lauren Boebert, whom Bill describes this way ... "what would happen if Michele Bachmann smoked bath salts?"

Senator Tommy Tuberville made the list ... Bill notes 3 of his business associates were convicted of financial crimes, to which Tommy said, "I'm not smart enough to understand all the numbers." To that Bill notes, "Did I mention he wants to be on the Senate Banking Committee?"

Rep. Madison Cawthorn is on the list as well. Bill mused, "This one brags that he carries a gun on the House floor, but not irresponsibly. It's safely secured in his Paw Patrol lunchbox."

And, what would the list be without Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene ... well, just watch.

Senator Chuck Schumer went in hard Friday on Donald Trump, saying he's responsible for the "erection."

Schumer was on the Senate floor when he pressed for an impeachment trial. There's conflict over when that trial will be held. Mitch McConnell wants to delay it for a few weeks, while many Democrats want the trial held STAT.

Schumer said, "There will be a trial and when the trial ends, Senators will have to decide if they believe Donald John Trump incited the erection." He realized what he had said almost immediately, and corrected himself with the word, "insurrection."

No reaction from his colleagues, but Twitter certainly noticed. One person wrote, "Well, it WAS an uprising!" Another person wrote, "There are gonna be a lot of hard questions asked during the erection hearing."

BEAST MODE IS BACK ... on ice?!

Ex-NFL star Marshawn Lynch took his talents to the ice rink this week ... showing off his skating skills in a hilarious video!!

The 34-year-old running back teamed up with hockey player Akim Aliu, who posted a series of videos showing the two getting in some action on the ice ... and just like everything else Lynch does, it was pretty memorable.

"What’s his name? Wayne Gretzky?" Lynch says while suiting up in a Colorado Avalanche jersey. "Y'all heard of that n**** before? Well, I’m Shawn Gretzky. You know what I’m talking about.”

Aliu -- co-founder of the Hockey Diversity Alliance -- can be heard cheering his buddy on as he tries to skate ... while simultaneously looking for his first hockey fight.

“This a whole different animal, bro," Lynch says.

No word on why the hockey sesh took place ... but Aliu and Lynch have been hanging out in recent days. Maybe hockey guy hits the gridiron next?!

By the way -- can you imagine Marshawn in the NHL? The dude could be a hit as an enforcer!!

His marketing agency even tweeted out a message to the San Jose Shark and Seattle Kraken if they were interested … Lynch chimed in.

“Y’all can’t see me on this frozen wata either. You already know I’m from that IceCity.” Lynch later tweeted.

"Boy is getting out of this Dr. Seuss, Monopoly-ass car!"

Hassan Whiteside went IN on Jabari Parker's ride as the Kings prepped to leave for L.A. on Tuesday ... clowning the hell out of the Sacramento star's vintage whip in the parking lot!!

"Where you get that from?" Whiteside asked Parker. "Cat in the Hat? That s*** fuchsia! Fuchsia!"

FYI -- the car is pretty cool to at least SOME people ... it appears to be a light pink, 1950 Chevrolet Carryall that we're sure cost Parker some pretty big coin.

But, didn't matter to Whiteside ... 'cause the grill sesh just kept on going!

"Hey, Jabari!" Hassan said. "You a trendsetter, man. A trendsetter!"

All the guys seemed to love the jabs -- everyone within earshot was cracking up!!

Of course, the Kings could certainly use the levity, they haven't had exactly the best start to the season ... going 5-9 through the first 14 games.

Maybe a little roast sesh is what's needed to turn the tide?!?

By the way, if this all sounds familiar ... it's 'cause it kind of is -- remember just a few weeks ago when Kyle Kuzma cracked on Anthony Davis for his whip?!

Would you slam a vat of Italian dressing for $1,000!?!

That's a question Tim Lincecum apparently asked one of his teammates back in 2018 ... and, according to the salad-topping drinker, the answer was YES!!!

Tyler Wagner -- a former Texas Rangers pitcher -- revealed the story on social media late Thursday night ... and it's hilarious, mostly because he provided photographic proof that it all went down!

Wagner says when he and Lincecum were teammates in Texas about three years ago ... the two-time Cy Young winner bet him a grand that he wouldn't drink the leftover dressing that came with the team's salad.

Turns out, Lincecum clearly underestimated Wagner's love of cash ... 'cause the guy threw it back like a shot of tequila!

The pics are laugh out loud funny, especially the post-drink one ... 'cause you can tell, Wagner was bragging to all his clubhouse mates about the gross (and impressive!) feat.

Wagner even provided a pic of the check Lincecum cut him to prove the guy paid up!

And, get this, Wagner says Lincecum threw in an EXTRA $250 on top of the $1,000, because, "he said just because it was rough to watch."

Got a James Harden jersey and a dirty whip?? You're in luck, 'cause one Houston car wash is giving out free washes in exchange for #13 Rockets threads!!

The 2018 MVP is officially a member of the Brooklyn Nets after a blockbuster trade on Wednesday ... forming a super team with Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving.

I Car Wash in H-Town came up with a solution for sad fans ... by taking their now-useless jerseys and offering their top tier wash in return, as ABC13 reported.

So, what's gonna happen to all the Harden jerseys?? TMZ Sports spoke with owner Sean Qureshi, who says he's hoping to TORCH 'EM ALL when JH returns to Houston as a Net.

"My plan is to burn them," Qureshi said. "I'm gonna make sure with local fire department just to make sure everything is on the up and up. But if they allow me to, whenever Harden comes back for the first game with the Nets, I'm burning them all that day."

Quereshi says he's preparing for around 50 fans to take him up on his offer ... meaning he expects to lose money in the promotion.

The Cleveland Browns celebrated their first playoff win since 1994 the only way they knew how -- by epically roasting JuJu Smith-Schuster with a locker room celebration for the ages!!

Of course, the Steelers WR had some words for the AFC North rivals leading up to their Wild Card matchup ... calling Cleveland the "same old Browns" and claiming he was unfazed by the new-look team.

Baker Mayfield and Co. clearly had JuJu on their minds after taking care of business Sunday night ... trolling the TikTok-loving star with a taste of his own medicine.

Kareem Hunt, Jarvis Landry and more led the Browns' insane locker room celly following their 48-37 win over Pittsburgh ... blaring Pop Hunna and Lil Uzi Vert's "Adderall (Corvette Corvette)" and having some choice words for the receiver.

Remember, JuJu was infamous for his pregame ritual -- which included dancing to the same song while standing on opposing team logos prior to kickoff.

Landry mocked JuJu with some moves of his own ... while several Browns players recited the receiver's bulletin board material.

"The Browns gon' be the Browns!!!" Hunt said on IG Live ... with guard Wyatt Teller adding, "Same old Browns, huh?!"

It's a huge moment for the Browns ... who now have to prepare for the defending champion Kansas City Chiefs next week.

Michael Blackson has a very important reason why people should get the COVID vaccine ... he says it's better than getting the virus, which he claims left his penis limp.

We got the comedian doing some holiday shopping on Rodeo Drive in Bev Hills, and he told us he had COVID and it sucked, which is reason enough in his mind to do everything you can to protect against the virus.

Michael's encouraging folks to get vaccinated so they don't suffer his fate ... a bout with the 'rona and a "limp d***." It's the COVID symptom you don't hear much about, but surely don't want to experience.

If the low sex drive isn't enough to make you fear COVID's wrath and head straight for the vaccination line, consider this ... Michael says the virus also had him pooping himself.

Michael knows he won't be among the first to get the vaccine, but he tells us why he'll join Barack Obama and other celebs in promoting the shot.

Take a seat, kids (some adults too) ... we've got bad news about those icicles you've been sucking on every winter, and this won't go down easy. 💩

Actually, Iowa meteorologist Katie Nickolaou is the real party pooper here, because after seeing social media clips of folks chomping on icicles ... she had to speak up.

Katie, who works at KMEG in Sioux City, Iowa, is imploring people to break their icicle habit ... unless, of course, they're into eating bird 💩. Check out her very scientific, and stomach-turning, explanation of the frozen treat.

The good news for Katie is her advice is spreading pretty quickly, courtesy of TikTok and Twitter.

Baby Archie may only be 17 months old, but that's not stopping him from wishing everyone a Happy New Year ... and naturally, it's to the delight of Mom and Dad.

Archie made a surprise appearance on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's first episode of their "Archewell Audio" podcast Tuesday. Meghan first asks Archie if he's having fun, to which Archie replies, "Fun." Then, Dad coaxes him into wishing listeners a "Happy New Year."

It's clear to tell from the audio that both Harry and Meghan are more than excited to hear little Archie speak on the podcast ... Harry can barely contain his own laughter.

The rest of the episode featured some massive stars including Elton John and Tyler Perry ... Stacey Abrams also joined. But, c'mon, Archie upstaged 'em all.

It was just last week when Harry and Meghan were spotted strolling the streets of Beverly Hills. TMZ broke the story ... the couple plunked down $14 million on a Montecito estate back in August.

You've seen Conor McGregor's dolly-throwing attack on Khabib Nurmagomedov ... but have you seen it in GINGERBREAD FORM?!?!

Thanks to UFC fighter Angela Hill, the infamous moment in MMA history has taken a delicious turn ... and we gotta admit, it's impressive as hell!!!

Remember, Conor and his buddies went crazy at Barclays Center in Brooklyn in April 2018 ... throwing objects at the bus filled with fighters, including Khabib, Michael Chiesa and Rose Namajunas.

Hill and her husband, Adam, decided to pay tribute to the wild moment with their gingerbread house this year ... creating the scene complete with a bus, a dolly-wielding Conor, an angry Dana White, Khabib and Artem Lobov.

The thing is incredible ... and even detailed down to each fighter's face.

"Adam drew all the faces but Conor and the whole thing is made from gingerbread, icing, chocolate for the dolly and candy!," Angela said on Instagram.

As for how long it took to make the masterpiece ... it sounds like a REALLY long time.

"Adam and I spent longer than I’d like to admit making this beautiful #gingerbreadhouse highlighting an important moment in mma history."