Humor

Jim Carrey is going toe-to-toe with Alec Baldwin on "Saturday Night Live" -- because he'll be the show's new Joe Biden heading into the election.

Showrunner and EP Lorne Michaels made the announcement Wednesday ... also sharing that Alec will return as President Trump, and so would Maya Rudolph, who played a hilarious version of Kamala Harris last time around.

But, on Biden -- who's been portrayed by Woody Harrelson and Jason Sudeikis of late -- Lorne told Vulture they were probably gonna give Jim a shot ... with conditions, it seems.

He says, "There was some interest on his part. And, then we responded, obviously, positively." He adds there were caveats, explaining ... "But, it came down to discussions about what the take was. He and Colin Jost had a bunch of talks. He and I as well. He will give the part energy and strength, and … [Laughs.] Hopefully it’s funny."

Oh, it's gotta be.

It's interesting that Lorne wanted to feel out how Jim would go about portraying the former Veep. The last time 'SNL' spoofed him ... they often made Biden out to be rambling, kooky and kinda creepy with his touchy-feely-ness.

Ya gotta wonder what the take will be now ... with the new backdrops of the coronavirus pandemic and Biden being the Democratic nominee.

A monkey stole a man's smartphone in Malaysia, and when the guy finally got it back he discovered a ton of monkey selfies!!!

The long-tailed macaque swiped the phone from the man's home in Johor, and it could've started a personal Instagram ... because the camera is now filled with hilarious selfies, including upside-down snaps, slow-motion videos, time-lapses and portraits.

It's pretty funny ... the mischievous monkey might have been pretty hungry, some of the images look like he's trying to eat the phone!

The man says he awoke from a nap and his phone was gone from its case, and the device was MIA for 2 days before finally hearing it ringing in his backyard, which is on the edge of a jungle.

"Would you look at that? It's the first time Paul George has been on fire all night!"

One angry L.A. Clippers fan was SO heated over his team's epic collapse in the 2nd-round of the playoffs ... he took a flame to his own Paul George jersey!!

It's no secret -- losing to the Denver Nuggets is NOT what the Clips had in mind this season ... with many expecting Kawhi Leonard and PG13 to lead the team to its first title.

This fan decided he'd had enough of repping George on Tuesday night ... destroying his jersey and ripping the baller in the process.

FYI -- Playoff P had just 10 points and 4 rebounds in the loss.

This isn't the first time we've seen George jerseys set ablaze ... some angry Indiana Pacers fans did the act back in 2017 when their All-Star announced he would be leaving in free agency the following season.

This reaction is CLEARLY a bit of an overreaction ... but the frustration is understandable -- after all, Kawhi and George combined for 0 points in the 4th quarter as the Clips were eliminated from the playoffs.

But hey, there's always next year!!

Samuel L. Jackson is keeping his word and now teaching Americans how to curse in 15 languages ... after fans show him they'll get out and vote.

The legendary actor dropped a 2-minute video ... teaching us how to curse in 15 different languages ... after fans showed up and blew past the Voter Action Goal for the #GoodToVote campaign.

Earlier this week, SLJ solicited 2,500 fans minimum to prove their commitment to voting ... by registering to vote, checking voter registration rolls, or simply making a plan to vote. And after fans came through ... so did Mr. Jackson.

Samuel wastes no time showing fans how to curse in Basque, Vietnamese, Ukrainian and Swahili, among other languages. Samuel -- who BTW dropped 40 "motherf*****s in "Shaft" alone -- thanked fans for pledging to vote.

Chris Evans has addressed his NSFW leak ... and the response is so good Captain America would be pretty damn proud.

The actor grabbed everyone's attention when he accidentally leaked video this past weekend displaying a gallery of videos and pictures ... which included a photo of Chris' penis. He had uploaded it to Instagram Live but forgot to trim the video to hide the NSFW pic. He deleted the video ... but by then it was too late. Fast-forward to Monday ... and Chris had an epic response to his social media gaffe ... turning it into something positive by telling folks -- now that he has their attention -- they need to exercise their franchise and VOTE!!!

Chris' co-stars came out to support their pal ... Mark Ruffalo tweeted, ".@ChrisEvans Bro, while Trump is in office there is NOTHING you could possibly do to embarrass yourself. See.... silver lining." Chris' brother, Scott, also chimed in ... "Was off social media for the day yesterday. So. What'd I miss?"

Chris' fans also supported him with some heartwarming pics. The Chris Fans account, Cevans Archive tweeted, "pictures of chris evans with his dog dodger to cleanse your timeline."

Senator Chuck Schumer just tried his hand at stand-up alongside one of the comedy greats, Jerry Seinfeld, and we gotta say ... he ain't half bad!!!

Chuck was in NYC Sunday at the famous Gotham Comedy Club, where he and Jerry were pitching a new bill the Senator from New York wants to get introduced in Congress ... which will help fund comedy clubs and live venues throughout the city to keep them afloat.

While they were talking shop, Schumer eventually waded into the humor side of things and told a verrry long joke ... which came to him courtesy of his retired parents, who took a college humor course and told it to him.

We'll let Chuck do the talking here, but short story long ... it's about a lady who comes before a judge for being a kleptomaniac -- and who gets no love from her hubby in the end.

You gotta watch for yourself, 'cause it's actually pretty hilarious ... and Sen. Schumer has great timing and delivery. It's funny too, Jerry turned to the folks in the room who might not have gotten it at first to explain the punchline. The whole thing's a riot.

In self-deprecating fashion, Chuck joked he was probably at the first level of comedy that Jerry outlined in his own remarks -- but frankly, he's selling himself short. Dude's funny.

This is a swan after Dr. Fauci's heart ... a bird that clearly understands how to curb the spread of COVID -- or it was just a one-in-a-million crazy goof that landed with a message.

Check this out ... a woman is at some sort of animal park in France -- she has a mask around her neck but not covering her face -- and she approaches a swan.

All's well until the swan snaps at her face. Now get this ... the bird doesn't break the skin -- rather, it latches onto the mask, pulls it back and it snaps right onto her face. It became the perfect covering!!!

The woman falls backward ... probably at once feeling lucky she didn't get bit and super impressed by the bawdy bird.

The video has swept across France ... This clip is captioned, “You’ve been told: wear your mask!”

Steve Martin feels like he loses a piece of himself when he goes out in public while having to wear a mask ... so he found a hilarious way to make sure he's ID'd while still being safe.

The legendary comedian posted a selfie Saturday morning in a surgical mask with a pair of shades ... and a nifty little homemade nameplate he plopped on his noggin that certifies folks will know who he is while shielding part of his face due to COVID.

He writes, "I always wear a mask when I go outside. But something about it was leaving me anxious and unsettled. I thought about the problem, addressed it, and here is the solution."

Of course ... there's an arrow pointing downward, just so there's no mistaking who Steve Martin is. It's comedy gold, and also reminiscent of his old arrow-through-the-head gag he used to do in his early stand-up days. The man clearly hasn't lost his sense of humor.

Funny enough, other celebs got in on the joke too ... including 'Star Trek' star George Takei and Ice-T. George says he tried this too, but because he did it word-for-word ... no dice.

Ice seemed to appreciate the social commentary too, especially for folks who feel like they can't interact with people the way they used to with a mask on ... or who feel anonymous and not like themselves. Hey, if you're bummed about that ... just do what SM did.

Forget how savagely Joe Kelly trolled the Houston Astros back in July??

No worries ... the Dodgers pitcher's incredible pouty face jab has now been immortalized with a mural in Los Angeles -- AND IT'S 16 FEET OF INCREDIBLE!!!

Jonas Never -- one of the most famous street artists in the country -- painted the piece this week on a barbershop near Dodgers Stadium ... and it was completed just in time for the 'Stros-Dodgers series this weekend.

If you don't recall ... during the last series between LA and Houston -- Kelly nearly incited an all-out brawl on July 28 by firing pitches at Astros stars Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa.

Of course ... everyone thought the tight balls were intentional -- considering, you know, the whole cheating scandal -- and the two teams REALLY got into it.

At one point, before the benches cleared, Kelly trolled Correa by allegedly calling him a "bitch" ... and then by hitting him with 1 of the most memorable faces in recent MLB history.

Kelly went on to ultimately be suspended for 5 games over the incident ... and, he never really apologized.

In fact, the 32-year-old pitcher later called the Astros straight-up "little bitches"!!!

Sadly, since Kelly's still on the injured list and has yet to serve his suspension -- there will be no rematch between him and Bregman/Correa this weekend.

But, hey ... at least there's a sick mural now to remind everyone of the good times!!

Tiffany Haddish wants to be just like Tyler Perry ... because she's ready to start her own production studio!!!

The actress and comedian joined us on "TMZ Live" and we asked her if she's got aspirations to be like Tyler and one day start a movie studio in her name.

Tiffany says she would love to follow Tyler's lead and tells us he's actually been teaching her how to start a studio from scratch. Tiffany's already got a name picked out, and it's pretty catchy and appropriate.

As you know ... Tyler just officially reached billionaire status, thanks in large part to owning Tyler Perry Studios, so his words of wisdom carry serious weight.

Speaking of billionaires, Tiffany tells us she's been hanging with other members of the triple comma club, and picking their brains about business. Smart woman.

Harry Shearer is definitely trying to poke the bear that is Donald Trump with a hilarious spoof album that's got the President singing show tunes ... and kissing Jared Kushner's butt.

The legendary voice actor and comedian -- who's played countless characters on "The Simpsons" -- came on "TMZ Live" to talk about his new album, "The Many Moods of Donald Trump," which he's been teasing with new single drops throughout the summer.

His first one was a banger -- it's called "Son in Law" ... and it's all about singing the virtues Jared. It also features Harry playing DT (with some incredible motion-capture animation tech) as he goes through a show-stopping number in the Oval Office. It's an awesome music video.

Now, as for whether this one was aimed at Donnie or Jared, Harry tells us they can split his mockery right down the middle. And, as far as praise, HS says the ultimate compliment would be if 45 himself hate tweets about 'TMMDT.' That'd be like hitting #1 on the charts!

This is just so funny we had to show it to you. A man jumps out of a plane with his skydiving instructor and passes out, and wait till you see what happens when he regains consciousness.

Nothing is amiss as they sail through the air, but it's just too much for the skydiving newbie. He goes limp, but the instructor has things under control.

His scream when he comes back is both understandable and hilarious. Imagine ... losing consciousness, awakening and realizing you are hurling toward the ground with no open parachute.

We're assuming there was a happy landing, so go ahead and laugh.

A Georgia cop came face-to-face with Billy Gruff himself after leaving her patrol car door open, which left her work papers ripe for the picking chomping.

This hilarious woman-versus-wild encounter went down Friday in Douglas County, GA -- where one of the Sheriff's Dept.'s deputies had a run-in with a brazen goat that wasn't scared to go wandering outside its pastures. If anything, it was looking for new leather interior digs.

Check it out ... the deputy -- whose body cam was rolling -- was out delivering civil papers, according to her bosses. She pulls up to a property, hops out and leaves the driver-side door open, 'cause it's just a quick in and out type gig. Does it all the time, apparently.

As she returns to the vehicle, she sees there's a non-human intruder inside. Sure enough, there's a goat in there rummaging through her things -- specifically, a stack of paperwork. Seems like it was delicious, 'cause Bill was going to town.

She tried shooing it away by giving it a little love tap on the backside, but the goat wouldn't budge. It took some doing -- watch the video -- but she finally got it to hop out of her ride.

But, it still wasn't over! Ya gotta see how the goat actually knocked her over.

Tiffany Haddish is revealing she tested positive for the coronavirus, and she's opening up about her experiences with testing and learning her diagnosis.

Tiffany revealed her diagnosis in a video posted on her YouTube page this week, rehashing her experience with the virus with Dr. Anthony Fauci.

The actress and comedian says she contracted the virus about three months ago, after working on a movie where someone else came down with COVID-19. She says her first test came back negative, but she got tested again when someone else she knew tested positive, and found out she was positive too.

Tiffany says she did not have any symptoms, which is kinda scary in its own right, and says she quarantined with her dogs and taught herself how to do the splits.

It's pretty interesting ... Tiffany says she had the antibodies for the virus months ago, but another recent test revealed she no longer has the antibodies. She says she's been tested 12 times because she's working on different projects.

It's cloudy with a chance of cannabis in Tel Aviv ... a drone dropped bags of weed over a city square, sending folks running into the streets for the gratis greens.

Dank started dropping from the skies over Rabin Square Thursday, a ganja gift from local activists seeking to legalize it.

As you can see in the video, the free baggies of bud started fluttering down from a high-flying drone, and people scrambled to scoop up the strains in the middle of traffic.

Pro-legalization group Green Drone hinted at the operation beforehand in a message on Telegram, saying ... "The time has come. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's the Green Drone sending you free cannabis from the skies."

The fun police, AKA actual police, put a stop to it all, though -- cops say they arrested 2 men who allegedly operated the drone. Police claimed the bags were packed with "a dangerous drug." Hey, not everyone's come around on marijuana.

Medical cannabis is legal in Israel, while recreational use is illegal, but mostly decriminalized.

A chemistry class expecting instructions from their professor instead got a very special message from his T.A. instead ... the one and only, Snoop Dogg.

Dr. Benny is the sharply-dressed teacher of Chem 60 at Los Angeles Pierce College, and on the first day of visual learning, he enlisted the rapper to send a very important message to his students ... read the syllabus!!

As for why, Snoop tells the class ... "The more you know, the further you go." Dr. Benny approves.

If first impressions are everything, you gotta think these college kids will be more inspired than ever to learn about elements and compounds.