Humor

The San Francisco Giants have a new cleanup hitter ... 'cause after Logan Webb admitted most players were dealing with "the s***s" following their Mexico City trip, the whole team got hooked up with a ton of Dude Wipes!!

Remember, the pitcher was brutally honest about how the team was doing after their two-game series against the Padres in Mexico City last week ... saying three-quarters of the squad was dealing with the runs.

TMZ Sports has learned ... the folks at the popular poo companion company got wind of the ball club's issues ... and decided to help out by sending over enough product to keep their asses clean for the rest of the season!!

We're told the team has 100 packs of Dude Wipes coming their way ... as well as four Dude Bomb "toilet stank eliminators" and 12 toilet sprays -- just in case the guys continue to "turn two" in the clubhouse.

It's not the first time the company had to step up to the plate for baseball stars -- as we previously reported, Dude Wipes helped Red Sox player Kiké Hernandez get back on track after he revealed he crapped his pants in the middle of a game.

A Canadian photog saw something that was, quite literally, rock hard out in the wild -- which had no problem standing up to the cold, frigid weather ... despite conventional wisdom.

Of course, we're talking about icebergs -- specifically, one a dude named Ken Pretty recently spotted with his drone off the coast of Harbour Grace in Newfoundland ... which was undoubtedly shaped like an erect penis. Indeed, the pics speak for themselves here, folks.

Take a look for yourself ... you can see the giant phallic formation hanging out, seemingly broken off from an even larger glacier that's floating in the ice water right next to it.

BTW, it's not just the upright part catching people's eye -- there's spare parts at the bottom that bring this scene into clearer view -- the whole package, if you will. The strangest part, though, is that Pretty hails from an even more telling place ... the town of Dildo!

It's almost as if he was destined to find this thing and tell the others about it, which he did.

KP told the Guardian, "Looking from the land, it wasn’t quite clear. But, once I got the drone out there, it was unreal how much it looked like – well, you know…" He went on to say people who saw it online afterward thought it was fake -- but he insists it's the real McCoy.

Gwyneth Paltrow isn't holding back when it comes to sharing intimate details about some of her very famous exes ... comparing Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck in the bedroom.

Gwyneth got candid on Wednesday's episode of the "Call Her Daddy" podcast ... telling host Alexandra Cooper both dudes were good kissers, but, the questions didn't stop there -- also spilling about who was better in bed.

GP said, "That is really hard because Brad was like the sort of major chemistry, love of your life, kind [of hookup]" ... adding, “And then Ben was, like, technically excellent."

Gwyneth, currently married to "Glee" co-creator Brad Falchuk, even played a game of "Marry, F***, Kill" ... and her choices were Ben, Brad, and her ex-husband Chris Martin.

GP told Alexandra she'd remarry Chris because he gave her their two children, have sex with Brad again, and said, "Ben, yeah, God bless him".

Gwyneth laughed off having a super stacked roster when it comes to men she's dated throughout the years. You'll recall, the actress got engaged to Brad back in 1996, but the two called it off the next year.

Gwyn and Ben were on and off from 1997 to 2000 before she moved on to Chris. GP and CM married in 2003 and had two kids together -- Apple and Moses. Remember, they finalized their divorce in 2016.

She's been married to Falchuk since 2018 and appears more than happy.

John Stamos is dropping a juicy piece of "Full House" trivia, revealing he got Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen canned from their debut acting gig ... when they were just babies!!!

The actor spilled the tea on his pal Josh Peck's "Good Guys" podcast ... saying he made the call to cut them out while filming the sitcom's pilot episode -- where his character, Uncle Jesse, and Dave Coulier's Joey had to watch baby Michelle.

It's a pretty hilarious scene, showing the 2 guys taking care of the little one while knowing nothing about parenthood -- but John says the taping wasn't a laughing matter.

Instead, he tells Josh and his cohost Ben Soffer that the twins were crying up a storm while hosing them off and changing their diapers.

He was told the other twin wouldn't cry when they were swapped out between takes, but it wasn't any better ... and John admits he made the call it just wasn't gonna work. He says the Olsens got the boot, and 2 other babies were used.

Of course, their firing only lasted a few days, with John admitting the new baby batch was pretty bad, too ... and as you know, the Olsen twins went on to stick around for the next 8 seasons of the hit sitcom.

Pete Davidson's late-night car crash didn't result in serious injury, but that doesn't mean the comedian is gonna get off scot-free ... because we've learned he's now facing possible criminal charges as a result of the incident.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... the Beverly Hills Police Department recently wrapped its investigation, and sent the case over to the L.A. County District Attorney's Office to determine whether Pete will be charged for the crash.

As we first reported, drugs and alcohol were ruled out as factors in the mishap, but we know Pete was traveling at a high rate of speed when he crashed ... so you gotta imagine at the very least, a reckless driving charge is on the table.

TMZ broke the story ... Pete was driving with his girlfriend, Chase Sui Wonders, through Bev Hills last month when he lost control of his Mercedes, drove through someone's yard and crashed into the side of their house. No one was injured.

Pete was not cited at the time for the crash, but that didn't mean he was in the clear.

Pete Davidson's New York Knicks took home a big win, but one fan might wanna take a lesson in personal space ... cuz he got wayyy too far into Pete's zone.

Check out the video, Pete was posing for pics and high-fiving a bunch of his fellow Knick fans as he left Madison Square Garden Sunday afternoon. You see Pete appears to pose for a pic with one dude in a pink shirt and blue cap and continues to move through the crowd.

That clearly wasn't enough for the fan though, who continued to follow Pete ... putting his arm around the comedian and resting his head on Pete's shoulder.

Pete tries to stay cool, taking more pics with others, but when the overzealous fan continued to get all up in his grill Pete understandably snaps ... shoving the dude away and telling him to back off.

Finally, the fan takes a hint and leaves Pete alone.

While his exit was stressful, the good news for Pete is the Knicks defeated Cleveland to take a 3-1 series lead ... not to mention, he got to share a seat next to (and likely some laughs with) Jon Stewart.

Never mind all that talk about artificial intelligence killing the music industry, Tony Rock sees a huge upside to adopting the technology ... especially if you're a fan of late greats like Tupac and Biggie!!!

TMZ Hip Hop linked with the veteran comic Tuesday at LAX and it's clear he has some deep thoughts on the AI topic, because he rattled off some suddenly possible collabs -- between deceased rappers, or even Michael Jackson and Jay-Z sparring on a track.

There's currently a fake Drake and The Weeknd song with millions of views so yeah, there's clearly a demand for dream AI pairings.

Going further, Tony proposed a Coachella-style, 100% AI-generated festival ... and he even nominated Billy McFarland and Ja Rule to organize it!

Pump the brakes, Tone ... we were with ya right up until the Fyre Fest callback.

"The Mighty Ducks" star Shaun Weiss is taking his past addiction problems and arrests, and turning it all into comedic gold -- using it as brand new material for his stand-up career ... and it's pretty freakin' hysterical.

Shaun got candid about his addiction at the Mic Drop Comedy Club in San Diego this month, taking incredibly serious source material and turning it into stand-up ammo.

He got the crowd laughing pretty hard by poking fun at his own mugshot from his 2020 arrest. He dives deep into his struggles with substance abuse -- with some wit of course -- and gets a roar of applause when he announces he's now 3 years sober.

Check out his last bit about what his "triggers" are for wanting to use drugs. Again, he's probably not joking ... yet he finds a way to crack up the crowd.

Shaun, who played Goldberg in 'Ducks,' has been working on his stand-up act for a little over a year. He's currently on the road and says, "100% of the proceeds go toward helping a child actor stay off drugs."

As we reported, the former child star opened for fellow comedian Russell Peters at a show last year ... following his time living on the streets and having several run-ins with the law.

BTW, Shaun tells us he was recently hired by the treatment center where he used to be a patient to be a sober coach and interventionalist.

He's looking to jump-start a program that helps people turn their personal trauma into comedic material, just like he's doing.

Kane Brown needs better protection, and we don't mean bodyguards -- the guy took a shot to the nuts while performing, and had an odd reaction ... putting his John Hancock on the boot that took him out!!!

The country singer had a show Thursday night in Wichita for his "The Drunk or Dreaming Tour" ... and the crowd was certainly having fun -- maybe a little too much fun, which is where the rogue cowboy boot comes into play.

The video's pretty hilarious, unless you're Kane -- ironically, in the middle of "One Thing Right," the boot nails him right in the junk, making him stop to catch his breath. He goes to the floor to finish the song before flattening himself out.

Seemed like Kane was a good sport, though, because he later signed the offending boot and handed back to someone in the crowd. Unclear if he signed his name or just drew a middle finger on it, though.

The timing of the shoe couldn't be more perfect, BTW ... right after getting hit, he sings the lyrics, "I've been at the wrong place at the wrong time."

Pete Davidson officially premiered his "Bupkis" series trailer on "The Breakfast Club," but it kinda got overshadowed by Pete's dong, and its effect on his dating resume.

Charlamagne Tha God sat down with Pete Thursday, and grilled him about his alleged super-sized penis, which is at least related to "Bupkis" ... it's a thing on the show.

Pete's been linked to Kim Kardashian, Ariana Grande, Kate Beckinsale and most recently, Chase Sui Wonders ... but the 29-year-old star swears there's nothing special about his penis. Like a tailored suit, he says it's just the right fit. 😉

Which is where "Bupkis" comes in.

The series serves as a fictionalized version of his regular life and brings together an ensemble cast of Chase, Joe Pesci, Charlie Day, Ray Romano, Machine Gun Kelly, Jadakiss, Cam'ron and many more.

Fact is Pete's life hardly needs dramatization ... as we reported last week, he's currently dealing with a stalker so mentally ill, they were deemed unfit to stand trial ... and he and Chase were involved in a March car accident that landed them in a Bev Hills yard!!!

Nick Cannon says he's open to the idea of having a 13th child ... but you would probably never guess with whom ... except yeah, we told you in the headline.

The "Masked Singer" host sat down Monday with Howard Stern, who asked Nick about increasing his already large family by one if the mother was none other than Taylor Swift.

Although Nick at first wasn't really sure where he stood on the issue, he perked up once he heard the name of the pop star, who just called it quits with longtime boyfriend Joe Alwyn.

Nick couldn't contain his excitement over the Swift hypothetical, telling Howard, "That's the one. I'm all in!"

He then outlined why Taylor would be the perfect mate. "First of all, she's an amazing songwriter," Nick said, adding, "What I do love about Taylor Swift is that she has been so vulnerable and open with all of her music."

Nick noted that Taylor can relate to him through their "very similar" dating histories while joking that his "Spidey senses" were tingling. He ended the Taylor/baby convo with this, "That would be amazing."

As you already know, Nick has a whopping 12 kids by six different women. His latest child, Halo, came into the world in Dec. 2022.

At first glance, DJ Holiday has a new “podcast” that's totally unfiltered ... based on his grilling of Wiz Khalifa and O.T. Genasis.

TMZ Hip Hop obtained the video of Holiday sitting down with both rap stars and coming out the gate swinging … asking Wiz if he still misses his ex-wife, Amber Rose.

O.T. didn't get off easy either -- Holiday had the nerve to ask if he’s ever slept with Keyshia Cole!!!

The good news for all parties involved is ... this isn't a real podcast, it's a scripted scene from Holiday's upcoming "No Stress" video, which features raps from Wiz and O.T.

Still, his questions will definitely push some buttons for fans -- Wiz and Amber successfully co-parent their son, Sebastian, while O.T. had a public fallout with Keyshia after royally butchering her classic track, “Love.”

Travis Kelce might be a future Hall of Famer on the gridiron, but he's apparently not much of one on the baseball diamond ... 'cause he just threw out the first pitch at the Guardians game -- and it was terrible.

The Kansas City Chiefs star was tapped by his home state squad to perform the ceremonial throw at Cleveland's home-opener against the Mariners ... and there were some big expectations for the toss.

After all, Kelce's one of the best NFL players on the planet ... and he was a H.S. baseball star who some thought could have had an MLB future if he stuck with the sport.

But, Kelce was anything but great on the bump Friday ... hurling the baseball straight into the ground.

The throw was so bad, Shane Bieber -- who was playing catcher -- couldn't even snag it ... and it rolled all the way to the backstop!!

Kelce was pretty embarrassed -- he raced after the pitch immediately after throwing it ... but ultimately stopped to have a laugh with Bieber over it all.

It didn't take long for Kelce's quarterback to get wind of the comically bad throw -- with Patrick Mahomes clowning him over it on Twitter.

Bobby Lee is defending a controversial story he's repeated over the years about traveling to Tijuana for sex and paying for an underage prostitute -- sordid, for sure, but he says it's also total fiction.

The comedian's recently come under fire on social media due to resurfaced clips of the Tijuana tale ... where the story goes Bobby went to "hooker alley" and picked out a young prostitute who seemed shy.

There are different versions of the story where the prostitute's age differs, including one where Bobby says the prostitute looked like then-13-year-old Natalie Portman in "The Professional" ... but the stories all end with him having sex with the young woman in a cheap hotel room.

Bobby is finally responding to the backlash in the latest episode of his "TigerBelly" podcast ... where he says, "At the end of the day it's not real and I didn't do anything."

The way Bobby explains things ... he first told the joke on "Opie and Anthony," the shock jock radio show from back in the day -- and he says the story was actually a combination of "a couple awful dark jokes."

Bobby understands the current uproar, but he says back when he first told the Tijuana story, "it was encouraged to say crazy stuff without thinking about it" ... and he says "when I listen back to it now it puts a chill down my spine."

Jon Stewart is the guy everyone wants to hear from these days ... what he thinks of the Donald Trump indictment, how it will affect the country and the 2024 presidential election, yada yada yada -- or in this case ... Yoda Yoda Yoda.

Stewart made a surprise appearance on his old stomping grounds, "The Daily Show" ... coming hours after Trump's arrest, you'd think he and guest host Roy Wood Jr. were going to dig into the case -- but Jon's wardrobe stole the show.

He came out dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the wise Jedi master of all things 'Daily Show' ... sent to give Roy some guidance. Well, at least, that was the setup for the bit.

One hilarious moment came as Jon reminded Roy he once hosted the show ... to which Roy replied, "The Daily Show" had a white host? Why are you dressed like Obi-Wan Kenobi?"

Now, you knew Trump had to eventually come up, and he did, but it wasn't about his arrest. You just gotta see it, but it involved Jon -- in his Obi-Wan robe -- and Trump playing the role of Vader.

They went back and forth about who was playing which "Star Wars" character ... and THEN Stewart finally attempted to make a point about the Trump indictment.

It didn't go smoothly, but it was funny as hell.

Tommy Lee's wife says there's absolutely no bad blood between Pamela Anderson and her, despite the fact they aren't speaking right now -- but she's down to change that.

Brittany Furlan was grabbing a bite in L.A. after her stand-up comedy gig at The Improv in Hollywood. Considering she recently mocked Tommy's ex-wife, suggesting Pam wouldn't care if she died ... we had to ask Brit if Pammy was the butt of any of her jokes that night.

The TikTok clip -- which Brittany posted and quickly deleted -- drew some backlash from fans ... so, kinda makes sense she laid off Pam during her comedy set.

When we got her afterward she said, "We're all good. We want happiness, we want everyone to be friends."

Sounds great ... however, she also admitted she hasn't actually heard a peep from Pam.

So, maybe it's not all that good -- not yet, anyway. Brittany says she'd definitely be down to talk, though, IF Pam ever reaches out.

The tension between the ex and current Mrs. Lee started when Pam was promoting her memoir and Netflix documentary, "Pamela, A Love Story" ... in which she declared her undying love for Tommy.

That prompted Brittany to respond on social media, saying she wasn't sweating Pam's comments ... or the haters attacking her on behalf of PA.