Saturday Night Live Now Who's Full of Hot Air?!!? Spoofs Downing of Chinese Spy Balloon
"Saturday Night Live" jumped on the Chinese spy balloon caper ... insinuating we made a way bigger deal of it that it actually was.
Chloe Fineman played MSNBC's Katy Tur, conducting an interview with Bowen Yang, who was dressed as a large spy balloon that was bobbing in the ocean.
"Well, you got me, congrats, you shot a balloon," Yang mockingly said. Fineman's response, "Wow, balloon, I'm sorry you're in the water, but thank you for speaking to us."
Yang continued, “I entertain you people for four days, and then get shot by Biden. I can’t believe that I’m Joe’s Osama!"
Earlier in the sketch, Fineman was joined on set by Keenan Thompson, playing a Pentagon official who detailed how the US shot down the spy balloon, and it's kinda hilarious.
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Michael Blackson My Nephew Eli Apple Is A 'Savage' ... 'Runs In The Family'
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Michael Blackson says Eli Apple is ruthless with the Twitter fingers ... telling TMZ Sports he's not one bit surprised about his nephew's trash-talking antics -- 'cause it "runs in the family!!"
Apple made headlines throughout the playoffs for speaking his mind on social media ... going after opposing teams and gloating each time the Bengals came out victorious.
The actor-comedian told us he was cheering on his kin against the Kansas City Chiefs on championship Sunday ... but admits if he were Eli, he would have waited until after he won a Super Bowl ring to get at his contemporaries.
"I was rooting for him," Blackson said. "I always believe in talking smack once you get that ring. Once you get that ring, then you can talk smack."
Michael said despite what some people say about Eli, there are a lot of cornerbacks who want to be in his position -- playing in back-to-back AFC title games and the SB last season.
Michael also told us his thoughts on the big game -- he says the first-ever Super Bowl between two black quarterbacks, Patrick Mahomes, and Jalen Hurts, "means a lot."
"Finally, Black quarterbacks are getting recognized," Blackson said. "At one point, nobody thought running quarterbacks would make it to the Super Bowl."
MB expects the game to be a high-scoring affair ... and predicts the Eagles will defeat the Chiefs, 28-24, but says you can never count out Mahomes.
"Patrick Mahomes is a kid that never goes down," Blackson said. "This guy finds ways to stay in the game and finds ways to win the game. We have to contain him. He runs all over the place."
"That's why he got $400,000,000 dollars."
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Derek Jeter Yeah, I Wore A Golden Thong Once ... I Had To Get Out Of A Slump!!!
Derek Jeter says he was slumping so terribly back in the 2004 season -- he turned to none other than a golden thong to get him out of his rut.
Seriously.
The former Yankees captain made the surprising -- and hilarious -- revelation while playing a game called "True Confessions" with Jimmy Fallon and Rita Ora on Wednesday night's "The Tonight Show."
Jeter was forced to pick one of two topics, and his two cohosts had to guess if he was telling the truth or not.
"I once wore a thong, in public, in front of thousands of people," Jeter said.
Both Fallon and Ora thought it was a fib -- but the ex-NY shortstop said it was, in fact, a real tale.
Jeter explained ... back in 2002, he got a new teammate who swore up and down that wearing a golden thong would get him out of any slump.
Jeter initially thought it was a load of B.S. -- but at the start of the '04 season, he hit an offensive rut that he had never seen before.
"Every day I'd walk in, [my teammate] would point at the thong," Jeter said. "So, finally, I wore the thong."
First pitch of his first at-bat? Home run for Jeets.
"Yes, yes," Jeter said. "That is true."
The game was said to be the Yanks' April 29, 2004 contest against the Oakland A's. Records show he was in an 0-for-32 skid before cracking a dinger off Barry Zito at Yankee Stadium.
As for who the golden thong's true owner was? According to a 2015 interview on the Dan Le Batard Show, it was none other than Jason Giambi.
"The golden thong is legendary," JG said during the '15 discussion on ESPN Radio. "It's never not gotten a hit."
By the way, if you're wondering about the hygiene of it all -- don't worry, Jeter said there was no thong-to-skin contact.
"I had shorts on underneath," he said. "I put the thong over the shorts."
Phew.
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NBA's Isaac Okoro Hilariously Sings 'Take Me To Church' ... In Cavaliers' Hot Tub!!
Cavs forward Isaac Okoro had a religious experience while listening to 'Take Me To Church' on Monday ... and hilariously performed the song in the team's hot tub!!
The 22-year-old former 5th overall draft pick was sitting in the team's hot tub (hey, gotta take care of the body) minding his business, listening to Hozier's hit single when his teammate Darius Garland walked in.
While the music was blasting, Garland started singing the chorus, and that's when Okoro got up and put on a show.
"Offer me that deathless death, Good God, let me give you my life, Take me to church!" the two belted out.
Okoro's choreography was on point with a hilarious backward fall into the hot tub to conclude his performance .. and Garland couldn't help but laugh.
Of course, Okoro and Garland have a lot to be happy about ... they just whooped the Los Angeles Clippers 122-99 on Sunday. The Cavs are currently ranked 5th in the Eastern Conference.
Plus, Garland -- who signed a five-year deal worth $231 million last season -- is averaging 21.9 points and 8.2 assists per game.
BTW, the song might ring a bell for Cavs fans ... it's the track that was playing in LeBron James' Beats by Dre commercial when he returned to Cleveland.
TAKE ME TO CHURCH!!!
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'Saturday Night Live' Disses Kamala in Biden's Classified Docs Scandal
"Saturday Night Live" poked fun at the classified documents scandal engulfing President Biden, but the most biting humor was reserved for his Veep.
'SNL's Mikey Day played Attorney General Merrick Garland, kicking things off with a speech about how former Trump VP Mike Pence found classified docs at his Indiana home. Kenan Thompson, as an FBI agent, followed with a few wisecracks about Pence.
Then came the bit about Kamala Harris ...comedian Ego Nwodim, playing an FBI agent, bluntly said: 'Come on now. Joe Biden won't even give this woman a pen. You think she has classified documents? Please, Kamala Harris with classified documents."
Ego then walked away as Day returned to the mic, adding..."Well, we had to at least check."
Funny skit, but it also had to sting, since it implied Joe didn't trust Kamala enough to share the nation's secrets. Harris, as you know, has been dogged by criticism about her competence in her role as second in command.
Of course, Joe isn't the only president under federal investigation for mishandling classified docs. His predecessor, Donald Trump, has been embroiled in an ongoing battle with the feds over this very issue since he left office over two years ago, and Trump has been anything but cooperative.
Steve-O Bringing Bam On First Leg Of Comedy Tour... He's the Britney Spears of 'Jackass'!!!
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Steve-O's new opening act for the first 9 shows of his comedy tour is Bam Margera ... and the 'Jackass' alums hit the stage together to workshop some new material.
We got video of Steve-O shocking the packed house at the Elsinore Theatre in Salem, Oregon last Sunday -- and Bam's surprise appearance drew huge applause from the crowd.
In the video, Steve-O helps Bam work on some jokes ... comparing Bam's life to Britney Spears' and telling a few stories from rehab.
Steve-O told the crowd he's bringing Bam along for "The Bucket List Tour" because he was terrified Bam was going down a path that would end in an early death. He said he wants his buddy on the road with him to see if it's possible for him to lead a healthy life and find a happy ending.
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Remember ... Bam recently revealed on Steve-O's podcast he was pronounced dead in a hospital back in December, when he had 4 seizures and a nasty blood infection.
But, it looks and sounds like Bam's doing better now, and it's good to see him having a blast with Steve-O.
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Bill Maher I Confess, I Fly Private ... And So Does Every Celebrity Who Can!!!
Bill Maher has a confession -- something he's kept under wraps for years -- he flies private, and if anyone expresses outrage they can suck it, because they'd do it too if they could.
The "Real Time" host bore down on climate change and how ridiculous the "everyone pitch in" concept has become. As Bill says, we gotta do something, but shopping with a laundry bag isn't gonna do the trick.
Bill says, "Humans are not good people," and when asked to pitch in to save the environment, their response is, "What's in it for me?"
We are now talking about banning gas stoves, yet people are more than happy to pollute the earth with Amazon deliveries, because it's so damn convenient. Cell phones use more energy than refrigerators, but getting rid of your cellphone ... hahahahaha.
Now the confession ... Bill Maher flies private. There it is -- he's a polluter/offender, but at least he's honest about it.
He regales us with image after image of socially conscious people -- some huge environmental activists -- who are more than happy to jump on a private jet -- because they can. Just a few -- Oprah, George Clooney, Leo DiCaprio, Paul McCartney, Harry and Meghan, Sting, Beyonce and Jay-Z, and on and on.
Bill believes anyone who could afford to fly private would absolutely do it. As he says, it's like heroin -- try it once and you're hooked.
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Harry Styles Coming Apart at the Seams!!! Rips Pants, Fans Go Wild
Harry Styles fans won't forget his latest show -- especially those in the first row -- since he split his pants wide open while performing for a packed house that included his first celeb crush!!!
Harry was onstage at the Kia Forum in Inglewood, CA Thursday night ... as a continuation of his "Love On Tour" when the wardrobe malfunction went down.
HE RIPPED HIS PANTS LMAO pic.twitter.com/xwe9Ym9WRV
— karen iso 1/27 1/29 (@tpwksatellite) January 27, 2023 @tpwksatellite
He was in the middle of singing "Music for a Sushi Restaurant" when he dropped low to his knees and ripped a huge hole near his crotch area, giving everyone an eyeful. As you can see, he was pretty stunned by the whole thing.
There's a debate about whether Harry was commando under his leather pants. We invite you to slo-mo, zoom in, enchance -- whatever -- and decide for yourself.
jennifer aniston at the harry styles concert in los angeles pic.twitter.com/3MtsKCYKsS
— 💭 (@shutupjoeyy) January 27, 2023 @shutupjoeyy
Nice bonus for the A-list celebs who pulled up for the concert -- Kylie Jenner, Trevor Noah, Julie Bowen and Ellen DeGeneres were there. Jennifer Aniston also witnessed the Styles family jewels coming out party ... and that's interesting because she's reportedly Harry's first celeb crush.
In true Harry fashion, he made the best of the moment ... and the crowd went wild at the funny mishap.
He told fans, "My trousers ripped. I feel I must apologize to a certain few of you right down in the front there. I mean this is a family show" ... before jokingly asking "Or is it?!"
He later put a towel around his waist as he continued to rock out onstage.
Safe to say fans and Harry had a hell of a night, and the show went on ... As It Was!
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Dakota Johnson Armie Hammer Cannibalism Joke ... Missed His Chance to Eat Me
Dakota Johnson is no fan of Armie Hammer, and made that perfectly clear when she dropped jokes about his cannibalism allegations ... and while the Sundance crowd seemed amused, she's also getting some backlash.
The actress took a few digs at Armie while presenting an award to "Call Me by Your Name" director Luca Guadagnino at the famous Park City, UT film festival.
Armie starred in the 2017 movie and Dakota joked ... "Luca had asked me to play the role of the peach, but our schedules conflicted. Thank God, because then I would have been another woman that Armie Hammer tried to eat."
In the movie, Timothee Chalamet's character performs a sex act on a peach, which Armie's character later discovers.
Dakota wasn't done there, she also told the crowd, "It's been 5 years since that film premiered here, and Luca hasn't stopped taking us to exciting places. Who knew cannibalism was so popular?"
Armie Hammer Accused of Rape, He Denies it but Cops Are Investigating
Luca's latest film, "Bones and All," stars Timothee and it's about cannibalism ... and Armie's infamously been dogged by allegations he gets off on cannibalistic fetishes, which he vehemently denies.
Also relevant, is the fact LAPD has investigated some of those allegations for more than 2 years now, and Hammer has not been charged with a single crime. Dakota's getting online backlash from people who support Armie, and also from those who believe his accusers. The criticism is she was unfair to him, legally speaking ... or insensitive to the women.
A classic lose-lose.
Dakota and Armie have worked together in the past, teaming up for a one-on-one interview for Variety before he was accused of being a cannibal, but this Sundance salvo shows her perception of him has changed.
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Vancouver Canucks NHL Broadcaster Farts On-Air?! ... 'Was That You?'
If you're wondering why "#FartGate" was trending Wednesday night, here ya go ... an NHL broadcaster (allegedly) let it rip on the air while calling the Canucks hockey game!!
It happened when Sportsnet broadcasters John Shorthouse and John Garrett were covering the Vancouver Canucks vs. Tampa Bay Lightning game at the Rogers Arena in Canada on Wednesday night.
Shorthouse was calling the game when out of nowhere, a fart, or what sounded like one, was clearly heard on the mic.
"Was that you!?" 😂
— Tim and Friends (@timandfriends) January 19, 2023 @timandfriends
This is why #fartgate is trending.pic.twitter.com/IJNB2o0rIQ
"Was that you?" Shorthouse asked his co-host.
Garrett denied being the one who dealt it, and the broadcasters both had a laugh.
But, hold up ... who did it?! No one knows!
Long day from the hard working ESPN/CBS crew. Someone near an open mic is either snoring or had too many black beans at lunch. pic.twitter.com/b8Kz6NFzXr
— Geoff Shackelford (@GeoffShac) May 21, 2021 @GeoffShac
Of course, passing gas during a live sports broadcast ain't nothing new ... remember the PGA championship mystery fart?!
The fart investigation continues 🧐
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Nelly In Australia Fans Think He Was High ... He Thinks It Was Funny!!! 😂😂😂
Nelly's recent performance in Australia has the Internet thinking he was a drunken mess on stage ... and the "Country Grammar" rapper can't help but laugh at all the jokes getting thrown his way about the show.
Nelly accused of being “high as hell” during performance in Australia. Man got the plug 🔌 pic.twitter.com/mprcRL2Syt
— Def Noodles (@defnoodles) January 18, 2023 @defnoodles
Video from Sunday's performance at Melbourne's Juice Fest shows Nelly staring off into space and missing the cues for his song "Over and Over" -- causing fans to voice their concerns on social media -- and letting the jokes fly.
"Nahh Nelly caught 4k Perced up and on god knows what other drugs he on," one fan quipped while another wrote, "Nelly was HIGH AS EGGS at that festival in Australia lmao every video i see if him performing gets funnier and funnier."
Nelly didn't deny being under the influence of anything ... but comedian Spice Adams spoofed the performance on Instagram, prompting the rap superstar to react with a slew of laughing emojis ... because what else can you say at this point? 😅
TMZ Hip Hop reached out to Nelly to clarify things 100%. We're sure he's performed the hit a zillion times -- the platinum-selling Tim McGraw collab dropped all the way back in 2004 -- but that recent rendition certainly wasn't his best!!!
BBC Sports Porn Audio Blares During Broadcast ... 2 Girls, 1 FA Cup 😂
The BBC's broadcast of an important soccer match got super sexual ... audio from what sounds like a pornographic movie started playing ... and now the network's apologizing.
It all happened during the buildup to Tuesday's FA Cup match between Wolves and Liverpool, when BBC broadcaster Gary Lineker was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a woman having an orgasm.
Gary was barely able to contain his laughter as he told the audience, "I wasn't expecting that noise," before asking a reporter at the game a couple questions.
Well, we found this taped to the back of the set. As sabotage goes it was quite amusing. 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/ikUhBJ38Je
— Gary Lineker 💙💛 (@GaryLineker) January 17, 2023 @GaryLineker
In the moment, Gary openly wondered about the source of the porno audio, saying ... "Somebody's sending something on someone's phone, I think. I don't know whether you heard it at home."
Yes, yes we did, Gary ... we all heard it loud and clear.
During the match, Gary tweeted a photo of a cell phone with some adhesives and captioned the post, "Well, we found this taped to the back of the set. As sabotage goes it was quite amusing."
The BBC is already apologizing "to any viewers offended during the live coverage of the football this evening" ... and a network spokesperson says BBC is investigating.
Gary referenced the incident during the halftime show, calling Liverpool's opening goal "a screamer ... which was not the only one we've had tonight." 😭
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Kevin Love Smacks Larry Nance Jr.'s Ass!!! ... During Cavs Game
Kevin Love had a bold strategy for defending Larry Nance Jr. during the Cavs game on Monday ... by giving his old teammate's ass a smack!!
The odd moment went down with less than three minutes left in the third quarter of Cleveland's MLK Day matchup against the New Orleans Pelicans ... when Nance -- the son of former Cavs and Suns star Larry Nance -- was waiting for Jose Alvarado to inbound the ball.
Nance's reaction is hilarious -- he quickly pleads with refs to do something about the bizarre tactic ... but ultimately, the game continued without a foul.
Of course, it was all in good fun ... as Love and Nance grew close during their time together with the Wine & Gold.
Love and Nance's former Cavs teammate/NBA referee Richard Jefferson even got in on the fun ... posting a TikTok about the incident.
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"Hey @kevinlove this is under review for a flagrant," RJ joked. "@larrydn7 you good?"
Nance -- an Ohio native who played for the Cavs from 2018-21 -- finished the game with four points, three rebounds and three assists for NOLA.
The butt-smackin' tactic seemingly worked ... 'cause the Cavs pulled off the 113-103 win over the Pels.
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Chelsea handler As for Prince Harry's Chilly Willy ... I've Heard Enough!!!
Chelsea Handler isn't afraid to let Prince Harry know how she feels about all the intimate details he's been sharing ... as she made his royal family jewels the butt of some icy jokes at the Critics Choice Awards.
The comedian took the stage Sunday night in L.A., and during her opening monologue she took some jabs at a ton of folks ... including Harry and his recently released memoir, "Spare."
Chelsea was talking about Niecy Nash-Betts' nomination for the Netflix series "Dahmer", but deftly segued to poke fun at the Duke of Sussex.
She said, "Dahmer became the third highest viewed show on Netflix with a combined watch time of 1 billion hours, which apparently is the same amount of time we're going to have to listen to Prince Harry talk about his frostbitten penis. It's enough, already".
And, it seemed to go over well with a lot of the audience ... cause she got laughs all around the room.
Of course, she was referring to details from Harry's book, where he shares his John Thomas got frostbitten back in 2011 during a charity trek to the North Pole.
Prince Harry wasn't the only one to catch some strays from Chelsea ... she also made fun of James Corden and his restaurant debacle.
BTW, Niecy wound up taking home the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Limited Series ... so it was a moment to remember for more reasons than one.
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Luenell 50 Apologized To Meg Because He Was Horny!!! These Jokes Write Themselves, People!!!
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50 Cent made a rare public apology to Megan Thee Stallion this week ... but Luenell is not entirely convinced he did so out of the kindness of his heart.
We bumped into the sassy comedian on Friday in NYC and she quipped that 50 was simply trying to get into Meg's good graces so he could then get in her bedroom.
Luenell tells us Meg's best revenge will just continue to be the same Grammy Award-winning, platinum-selling success that got her to this point.
We also had to pick Luenell's brain on the current climate in comedy, in the wake of Eddie Murphy's Will Smith joke at the Golden Globes ... which weirdly angered Tyrese, who in turn, angered Ray J.
Luenell tells us Eddie's punchline was killer and the Will Smith slap jokes are here to stay, now that the dust has settled on the controversy.
Perhaps she'll bring some to "The Daily Show" ... as she officially tossed her name in the hat to be Trevor Noah's replacement.
We gotta say, 50 would be a hell of a first guest.
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Ray J to Tyrese Stop Giving Eddie Murphy Advice ... Before YOU Catch a Slap!!!
Ray J is coming to the defense of Eddie Murphy -- whether or not he needs it -- by warning Tyrese to shut up about Eddie's Golden Globes joke referencing the Will Smith slap.
An incensed Ray J hit the comment section Thursday on The Jasmine Brand to voice his disapproval of Tyrese's sentiment that everyone, including EM, should stop bringing up Will's infamous slap of Chris Rock at last year's Oscars.
As Ray sees it ... Tyrese is in no position to give Eddie advice, seeing as how his resume doesn't have any classics to measure up to "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Coming to America."
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He also seems to think Will isn't above an encore performance, suggesting he might have to unload on Tyrese to get him in line.
It's clear there's bad blood between them, because Ray added, "You know how i feel about you and your antics.!"
We're not sure where Tyrese's sense of humor went -- Eddie all but brought the house down with his joke. It might be a little old, but it was brilliantly delivered.
Back when the slap was still fresh, Ray J tried to coordinate a $100M boxing match between Will and Chris. Pretty obvious the new fight card should be Ray and Tyrese!!!