Humor

Derek Jeter says he was slumping so terribly back in the 2004 season -- he turned to none other than a golden thong to get him out of his rut.

Seriously.

The former Yankees captain made the surprising -- and hilarious -- revelation while playing a game called "True Confessions" with Jimmy Fallon and Rita Ora on Wednesday night's "The Tonight Show."

Jeter was forced to pick one of two topics, and his two cohosts had to guess if he was telling the truth or not.

"I once wore a thong, in public, in front of thousands of people," Jeter said.

Both Fallon and Ora thought it was a fib -- but the ex-NY shortstop said it was, in fact, a real tale.

Jeter explained ... back in 2002, he got a new teammate who swore up and down that wearing a golden thong would get him out of any slump.

Jeter initially thought it was a load of B.S. -- but at the start of the '04 season, he hit an offensive rut that he had never seen before.

"Every day I'd walk in, [my teammate] would point at the thong," Jeter said. "So, finally, I wore the thong."

First pitch of his first at-bat? Home run for Jeets.

"Yes, yes," Jeter said. "That is true."

The game was said to be the Yanks' April 29, 2004 contest against the Oakland A's. Records show he was in an 0-for-32 skid before cracking a dinger off Barry Zito at Yankee Stadium.

As for who the golden thong's true owner was? According to a 2015 interview on the Dan Le Batard Show, it was none other than Jason Giambi.

"The golden thong is legendary," JG said during the '15 discussion on ESPN Radio. "It's never not gotten a hit."

By the way, if you're wondering about the hygiene of it all -- don't worry, Jeter said there was no thong-to-skin contact.

"I had shorts on underneath," he said. "I put the thong over the shorts."

Cavs forward Isaac Okoro had a religious experience while listening to 'Take Me To Church' on Monday ... and hilariously performed the song in the team's hot tub!!

The 22-year-old former 5th overall draft pick was sitting in the team's hot tub (hey, gotta take care of the body) minding his business, listening to Hozier's hit single when his teammate Darius Garland walked in.

While the music was blasting, Garland started singing the chorus, and that's when Okoro got up and put on a show.

"Offer me that deathless death, Good God, let me give you my life, Take me to church!" the two belted out.

Okoro's choreography was on point with a hilarious backward fall into the hot tub to conclude his performance .. and Garland couldn't help but laugh.

Of course, Okoro and Garland have a lot to be happy about ... they just whooped the Los Angeles Clippers 122-99 on Sunday. The Cavs are currently ranked 5th in the Eastern Conference.

Plus, Garland -- who signed a five-year deal worth $231 million last season -- is averaging 21.9 points and 8.2 assists per game.

BTW, the song might ring a bell for Cavs fans ... it's the track that was playing in LeBron James' Beats by Dre commercial when he returned to Cleveland.

"Saturday Night Live" poked fun at the classified documents scandal engulfing President Biden, but the most biting humor was reserved for his Veep.

'SNL's Mikey Day played Attorney General Merrick Garland, kicking things off with a speech about how former Trump VP Mike Pence found classified docs at his Indiana home. Kenan Thompson, as an FBI agent, followed with a few wisecracks about Pence.

Then came the bit about Kamala Harris ...comedian Ego Nwodim, playing an FBI agent, bluntly said: 'Come on now. Joe Biden won't even give this woman a pen. You think she has classified documents? Please, Kamala Harris with classified documents."

Ego then walked away as Day returned to the mic, adding..."Well, we had to at least check."

Funny skit, but it also had to sting, since it implied Joe didn't trust Kamala enough to share the nation's secrets. Harris, as you know, has been dogged by criticism about her competence in her role as second in command.

Steve-O's new opening act for the first 9 shows of his comedy tour is Bam Margera ... and the 'Jackass' alums hit the stage together to workshop some new material.

We got video of Steve-O shocking the packed house at the Elsinore Theatre in Salem, Oregon last Sunday -- and Bam's surprise appearance drew huge applause from the crowd.

In the video, Steve-O helps Bam work on some jokes ... comparing Bam's life to Britney Spears' and telling a few stories from rehab.

Steve-O told the crowd he's bringing Bam along for "The Bucket List Tour" because he was terrified Bam was going down a path that would end in an early death. He said he wants his buddy on the road with him to see if it's possible for him to lead a healthy life and find a happy ending.

Remember ... Bam recently revealed on Steve-O's podcast he was pronounced dead in a hospital back in December, when he had 4 seizures and a nasty blood infection.

Bill Maher has a confession -- something he's kept under wraps for years -- he flies private, and if anyone expresses outrage they can suck it, because they'd do it too if they could.

The "Real Time" host bore down on climate change and how ridiculous the "everyone pitch in" concept has become. As Bill says, we gotta do something, but shopping with a laundry bag isn't gonna do the trick.

Bill says, "Humans are not good people," and when asked to pitch in to save the environment, their response is, "What's in it for me?"

We are now talking about banning gas stoves, yet people are more than happy to pollute the earth with Amazon deliveries, because it's so damn convenient. Cell phones use more energy than refrigerators, but getting rid of your cellphone ... hahahahaha.

Now the confession ... Bill Maher flies private. There it is -- he's a polluter/offender, but at least he's honest about it.

He regales us with image after image of socially conscious people -- some huge environmental activists -- who are more than happy to jump on a private jet -- because they can. Just a few -- Oprah, George Clooney, Leo DiCaprio, Paul McCartney, Harry and Meghan, Sting, Beyonce and Jay-Z, and on and on.

Harry Styles fans won't forget his latest show -- especially those in the first row -- since he split his pants wide open while performing for a packed house that included his first celeb crush!!!

Harry was onstage at the Kia Forum in Inglewood, CA Thursday night ... as a continuation of his "Love On Tour" when the wardrobe malfunction went down.

He was in the middle of singing "Music for a Sushi Restaurant" when he dropped low to his knees and ripped a huge hole near his crotch area, giving everyone an eyeful. As you can see, he was pretty stunned by the whole thing.

There's a debate about whether Harry was commando under his leather pants. We invite you to slo-mo, zoom in, enchance -- whatever -- and decide for yourself.

Nice bonus for the A-list celebs who pulled up for the concert -- Kylie Jenner, Trevor Noah, Julie Bowen and Ellen DeGeneres were there. Jennifer Aniston also witnessed the Styles family jewels coming out party ... and that's interesting because she's reportedly Harry's first celeb crush.

In true Harry fashion, he made the best of the moment ... and the crowd went wild at the funny mishap.

He told fans, "My trousers ripped. I feel I must apologize to a certain few of you right down in the front there. I mean this is a family show" ... before jokingly asking "Or is it?!"

He later put a towel around his waist as he continued to rock out onstage.

Dakota Johnson is no fan of Armie Hammer, and made that perfectly clear when she dropped jokes about his cannibalism allegations ... and while the Sundance crowd seemed amused, she's also getting some backlash.

The actress took a few digs at Armie while presenting an award to "Call Me by Your Name" director Luca Guadagnino at the famous Park City, UT film festival.

Armie starred in the 2017 movie and Dakota joked ... "Luca had asked me to play the role of the peach, but our schedules conflicted. Thank God, because then I would have been another woman that Armie Hammer tried to eat."

In the movie, Timothee Chalamet's character performs a sex act on a peach, which Armie's character later discovers.

Dakota wasn't done there, she also told the crowd, "It's been 5 years since that film premiered here, and Luca hasn't stopped taking us to exciting places. Who knew cannibalism was so popular?"

Luca's latest film, "Bones and All," stars Timothee and it's about cannibalism ... and Armie's infamously been dogged by allegations he gets off on cannibalistic fetishes, which he vehemently denies.

Also relevant, is the fact LAPD has investigated some of those allegations for more than 2 years now, and Hammer has not been charged with a single crime. Dakota's getting online backlash from people who support Armie, and also from those who believe his accusers. The criticism is she was unfair to him, legally speaking ... or insensitive to the women.

A classic lose-lose.

If you're wondering why "#FartGate" was trending Wednesday night, here ya go ... an NHL broadcaster (allegedly) let it rip on the air while calling the Canucks hockey game!!

It happened when Sportsnet broadcasters John Shorthouse and John Garrett were covering the Vancouver Canucks vs. Tampa Bay Lightning game at the Rogers Arena in Canada on Wednesday night.

Shorthouse was calling the game when out of nowhere, a fart, or what sounded like one, was clearly heard on the mic.

"Was that you?" Shorthouse asked his co-host.

Garrett denied being the one who dealt it, and the broadcasters both had a laugh.

But, hold up ... who did it?! No one knows!

Of course, passing gas during a live sports broadcast ain't nothing new ... remember the PGA championship mystery fart?!

Nelly's recent performance in Australia has the Internet thinking he was a drunken mess on stage ... and the "Country Grammar" rapper can't help but laugh at all the jokes getting thrown his way about the show.

Video from Sunday's performance at Melbourne's Juice Fest shows Nelly staring off into space and missing the cues for his song "Over and Over" -- causing fans to voice their concerns on social media -- and letting the jokes fly.

"Nahh Nelly caught 4k Perced up and on god knows what other drugs he on," one fan quipped while another wrote, "Nelly was HIGH AS EGGS at that festival in Australia lmao every video i see if him performing gets funnier and funnier."

Nelly didn't deny being under the influence of anything ... but comedian Spice Adams spoofed the performance on Instagram, prompting the rap superstar to react with a slew of laughing emojis ... because what else can you say at this point? 😅

The BBC's broadcast of an important soccer match got super sexual ... audio from what sounds like a pornographic movie started playing ... and now the network's apologizing.

It all happened during the buildup to Tuesday's FA Cup match between Wolves and Liverpool, when BBC broadcaster Gary Lineker was suddenly interrupted by the sound of a woman having an orgasm.

Gary was barely able to contain his laughter as he told the audience, "I wasn't expecting that noise," before asking a reporter at the game a couple questions.

In the moment, Gary openly wondered about the source of the porno audio, saying ... "Somebody's sending something on someone's phone, I think. I don't know whether you heard it at home."

Yes, yes we did, Gary ... we all heard it loud and clear.

During the match, Gary tweeted a photo of a cell phone with some adhesives and captioned the post, "Well, we found this taped to the back of the set. As sabotage goes it was quite amusing."

The BBC is already apologizing "to any viewers offended during the live coverage of the football this evening" ... and a network spokesperson says BBC is investigating.

Kevin Love had a bold strategy for defending Larry Nance Jr. during the Cavs game on Monday ... by giving his old teammate's ass a smack!!

The odd moment went down with less than three minutes left in the third quarter of Cleveland's MLK Day matchup against the New Orleans Pelicans ... when Nance -- the son of former Cavs and Suns star Larry Nance -- was waiting for Jose Alvarado to inbound the ball.

Nance's reaction is hilarious -- he quickly pleads with refs to do something about the bizarre tactic ... but ultimately, the game continued without a foul.

Of course, it was all in good fun ... as Love and Nance grew close during their time together with the Wine & Gold.

Love and Nance's former Cavs teammate/NBA referee Richard Jefferson even got in on the fun ... posting a TikTok about the incident.

"Hey @kevinlove this is under review for a flagrant," RJ joked. "@larrydn7 you good?"

Nance -- an Ohio native who played for the Cavs from 2018-21 -- finished the game with four points, three rebounds and three assists for NOLA.

Chelsea Handler isn't afraid to let Prince Harry know how she feels about all the intimate details he's been sharing ... as she made his royal family jewels the butt of some icy jokes at the Critics Choice Awards.

The comedian took the stage Sunday night in L.A., and during her opening monologue she took some jabs at a ton of folks ... including Harry and his recently released memoir, "Spare."

Chelsea was talking about Niecy Nash-Betts' nomination for the Netflix series "Dahmer", but deftly segued to poke fun at the Duke of Sussex.

She said, "Dahmer became the third highest viewed show on Netflix with a combined watch time of 1 billion hours, which apparently is the same amount of time we're going to have to listen to Prince Harry talk about his frostbitten penis. It's enough, already".

And, it seemed to go over well with a lot of the audience ... cause she got laughs all around the room.

Of course, she was referring to details from Harry's book, where he shares his John Thomas got frostbitten back in 2011 during a charity trek to the North Pole.

Prince Harry wasn't the only one to catch some strays from Chelsea ... she also made fun of James Corden and his restaurant debacle.

50 Cent made a rare public apology to Megan Thee Stallion this week ... but Luenell is not entirely convinced he did so out of the kindness of his heart.

We bumped into the sassy comedian on Friday in NYC and she quipped that 50 was simply trying to get into Meg's good graces so he could then get in her bedroom.

Luenell tells us Meg's best revenge will just continue to be the same Grammy Award-winning, platinum-selling success that got her to this point.

We also had to pick Luenell's brain on the current climate in comedy, in the wake of Eddie Murphy's Will Smith joke at the Golden Globes ... which weirdly angered Tyrese, who in turn, angered Ray J.

Luenell tells us Eddie's punchline was killer and the Will Smith slap jokes are here to stay, now that the dust has settled on the controversy.

Perhaps she'll bring some to "The Daily Show" ... as she officially tossed her name in the hat to be Trevor Noah's replacement.

Ray J is coming to the defense of Eddie Murphy -- whether or not he needs it -- by warning Tyrese to shut up about Eddie's Golden Globes joke referencing the Will Smith slap.

An incensed Ray J hit the comment section Thursday on The Jasmine Brand to voice his disapproval of Tyrese's sentiment that everyone, including EM, should stop bringing up Will's infamous slap of Chris Rock at last year's Oscars.

As Ray sees it ... Tyrese is in no position to give Eddie advice, seeing as how his resume doesn't have any classics to measure up to "Beverly Hills Cop" and "Coming to America."

He also seems to think Will isn't above an encore performance, suggesting he might have to unload on Tyrese to get him in line.

It's clear there's bad blood between them, because Ray added, "You know how i feel about you and your antics.!"

We're not sure where Tyrese's sense of humor went -- Eddie all but brought the house down with his joke. It might be a little old, but it was brilliantly delivered.

This year's Golden Globes host, Jerrod Carmichael, garnered gasps when he mentioned Whitney Houston's death during the show -- something the estate was equally shocked by.

Pat Houston -- Whitney's longtime manager and sister-in-law -- tells TMZ through a rep ... "The Whitney Houston Estate is disappointed in the joke, and felt it was in poor taste." Pat is the sole executor of the estate, BTW ... so she controls all things Whitney-related.

As for whether Carmichael's joke was alerted to anyone connected to Whitney prior to Tuesday's broadcast -- sources with direct knowledge tell us nobody was given a heads-up.

It's unclear if anyone at NBC knew JC was going to mention Whitney during his hosting gig -- in the moment, his remark seemed off the cuff ... and it very well may have been.

In case you missed it ... after the Globes came back from commercial break at one point, Carmichael said he had been asked to shout out the venue, after which he quipped ... "So, we are here, live, from the hotel that killed Whitney Houston, the Beverly Hilton."

Of course, he's referring to the fact Whitney overdosed in one of the hotel rooms back in 2012. Some folks laughed, but a lot more seemed taken aback and others even groaned.

It was just one of the controversial moments from Jerrod -- another came when he mentioned Shelly Miscavige ... a high-ranking Scientologist who's been out of public view for years.

Eddie Murphy is a stand-up comedian, first and foremost, which is why he was able to deliver wisdom and a huge laugh to the Golden Globes audience ... while reliving Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.

Eddie graciously accepted the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement Tuesday night at the Golden Globes Awards -- he really did thank almost every huge producer and director he worked with over his 40+ years in showbiz, but like we said ... he's a comedian, so he spiced up the speech with humor.

He wrapped up with a piece of advice to folks looking to achieve success and make it in Hollywood -- "I want to let you know that there is a definitive blueprint that you can follow to achieve success, prosperity, longevity and peace of mind. It's very simple, it's three things."

The first 2 drew plenty of laughs -- pay your taxes and mind your business -- but you've gotta watch the clip for #3, which brought down the house.

Even Will and Jada Pinkett Smith would have to laugh at the line and Eddie's delivery. Hell, Chris Rock would love it too.

In case you were living under a rock this year ... Will shocked the world by slapping Chris Rock right in the face during the Academy Awards after he'd made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith's bald head.