Humor

Most roosters only have eight toes, but this Rooster could end up with seven ... 'cause Miles Teller says he'd consider parting ways with an appendage in exchange for a Phillies World Series win!!

The 'Top Gun' actor and diehard Philly fan joined Guardians pitcher Triston McKenzie and Yankees outfielder Harrison Bader for a quick interview before the Phillies' huge Game 3 win over the Houston Astros ... and was asked what he'd be willing to do to secure his beloved team's third Fall Classic title.

"I feel like you don't need all your toes," Teller joked.

When McKenzie followed up and asked if he was talking about losing several piggies, or just one ... Teller explained his proposed sacrifice should be more than enough.

"Easy buddy, a toe is still important!! One toe is not enough?! Get out of here."

But, in case he doesn't want to walk with a limp for the rest of his life, Teller has another idea.

"Gallbladder, I heard you don't need that."

As for the game, Teller and the Phillies were losing their minds as their team whooped the 'Stros 7-0 ... especially after Bryce Harper and Alec Bohm's dingers.

The Phillies are now up 2-1 in the series ... which means just two more wins before Teller's gotta stick to his word!!

It's Halloween again ... and per usual, TMZ staffers went all out for their costumes.

Check out the staff's getups this year -- which touch on all the pop culture moments. We got Barbie and Ken, Nick Cannon and his many baby mamas, Ben Affleck, the 'Hocus Pocus' crew ... and more!

Some other highlights -- Queen Elizabeth and her corgis, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Quinta Brunson and Jimmy Kimmel, the Ohio fishing cheaters, Mario/Luigi/Peach and even Richard Simmons.

There's also Kim and Pete, Adam Levine's DMs, Jack Sparrow, Minions, Tom Brady and his estranged wife Gisele, Gordy the monkey, climate change activists/art vandals, Julia Fox, Prison Mike, Macho Man, Guy Fieri, Coolio, BeReal, Alice in Wonderland ... and even one of the infamous Gap and Kanye trash bags!

Some of these are pretty timely, we know -- but hey ... TMZ knows a good snapshot when we see it. And, 2022 is no different.

'SNL' opened Saturday night with a blistering skit about 3 extreme Republicans running for high office -- Herschel Walker, Dr. Oz and Kari Lake.

Oz is stoked about the "Pennsylvania Phillies" World Series bid ... of course, playing off his carpetbagging status.

Walker, well, he answers the alleged abortion hypocrisy with 1 word -- gas.

And Kari Lake -- well, she makes it clear ... if people vote for her, they won't have to vote in another election.

As you probably know, all 3 candidates are gaining ground in their races, and although 'SNL' is clearly mocking them ... the underlying message isn't far from reality, and that reality seems to be resonating with a growing number of voters.

We'll know in a little more than a week. Then immediately get ready for the 2024 Presidential campaign.

Leslie Jordan will be gracing the silver screen one last time ... because the last film he ever starred in is on its way to being completed.

Writer and director Tracy Pellegrino tells TMZ ... "Strangers in a Strange Land," Leslie's last listed film credit in post-production, is a small independent film made up of several shorts that focuses on foreigners around the world getting into hilarious situations due to their confusion and language barriers -- and it's the L.A. portion of the film where Leslie shines.

Leslie plays a southerner in Los Angeles who tries to help give directions to a Russian man at a bus stop ... someone he finds VERY attractive.

The humor is right up Leslie's alley, and that tracks -- we're told Tracy and her husband, Mark, wrote the part with him in mind ... totally unaware if Leslie would even sign on for the project. Tracy knew Leslie for more than 20 years.

Tracy says the movie was filmed over a long period of time -- it was shot in Paris, Cannes, Rome, Düsseldorf, London, Brooklyn and L.A. She says Leslie's part was shot around 2017. There is no release date yet for the film.

Barack Obama was in full-blown stand-up comedy mode Friday night in Georgia -- where he skewered Herschel Walker as wholly unqualified for the Senate ... among other occupations.

The ex-Prez was stumping for Rev. Raphael Warnock -- who's running to maintain his Senate seat in a highly contested race -- when he started to lay out comparisons between the current Senator and Walker ... going on to crack jokes at the latter's expense.

Watch ... BO admits Walker was a football great once upon a time, but says that alone doesn't mean he should be considered for jobs he has no experience in -- stuff like flying an airplane or surgery -- and that common sense people would ask those basic questions.

Barack hilariously compares the sitch to him being hypothetically tapped to be a running back ... something he says he absolutely would be terrible at, and that no one would want him doing. In the same vein, he says HW shouldn't be taken seriously as a would-be Senator.

Walker's now-infamous badge moment during the debate was also poked at by 44 -- with Barack likening it to playing cops and robbers. The crowd was busting up at his jokes.

For his part, Walker didn't find it funny ... but did fire back at the former President in his own campaign speech Saturday. He insisted he wasn't a celebrity, but rather ... a "warrior for God." Walker also went on to say Obama's been absent while he's been on the front lines.

Move over Johnny Depp ... Marshawn Lynch is now officially America's most favorite pirate -- 'cause he dressed up as "Captain Black Sparrow" this week, and it was hilarious!!!

The former NFL star got in his "Pirates of the Caribbean" role for a special segment prior to "Thursday Night Football" on Thursday -- after meeting up with Tampa Bay Buccaneers' mascot Captain Fear at Raymond James Stadium.

Lynch donned a Depp-like 'fit, and proclaimed, "I'm Captain Black Sparrow in this motherf*****, man!"

FYI, his locker was labeled as "Captain Beastmode" ... but seems Lynch called an audible on that one midway through the segment.

Lynch and the mascot headed to the Bucs' 100-foot-long pirate ship at the stadium -- just before Tampa took on the Ravens -- and, let's just say Lynch enjoyed climbing up to the boat with his big boots on.

"Watch how I hit these motherf***ing high steps with these thangs!" he yelled. "I bet you this thang ride like a Caddy."

Lynch also shot off the famous cannons from the ship.

"I thought I done lost, bust my wig, boy!" Lynch said. "I done lost my eye patch!"

This isn't the first time Lynch has garnered laughs on "TNF" ... just last week, he turned into "The Alligator Man" in New Orleans when the Saints played the Cardinals.

The 5-time Pro Bowler joined Amazon Prime's "Thursday Night Football" team earlier this year ... and part of his job is to do funny "N' Yo City" skits.

Martha Stewart may have her eyes on a younger fella -- recently single Pete Davidson, that is ... at least, she's all the way here for going on a date with him if she had the chance.

The 81-year-old famed home/life guru got candid on Tuesday's episode of “The Drew Barrymore Show” ... during a game called "red flag, yellow flag, green flag", where she had to indicate whether she approves or disapproves of certain qualities in a partner.

Barrymore asked about dating a guy who had tattoos like Pete. Martha held up a green flag showing she was down for it ... before being asked if she would flat out go on a date with PD. MS also gave that idea a thumbs up, before calling him "sorta cute" and doubling down.

The conversation turned out to be playful, but the ladies ran with the idea. Martha continued, “I mean he has dated so many women" ... explaining to Drew Barrymore that it was a good thing he's got so much experience.

As you know, Pete Davidson dated Kim Kardashian for 9 months, before breaking things off back in August.

Martha told Drew, she and Pete actually have quite a bit of history and worked together before... she says, he's a very good guy and he knows how to get in and get out.”

Ever seen two grown-ass men completely lose it in a haunted house?

Baltimore Ravens rookies Damarion "Pepe" Williams and Kyle Hamilton did exactly that when they bravely inched their way through a scary maze recently ... and it's all on video!!

The defensive backs decided to face their fears at the Bennett's Curse Haunted House out in B-More ... which has been voted one of the scariest in the world.

You can see Pepe and Hamilton try to "make it out alive" while wearing 3D glasses ... and it only took a first few steps in before the two were screaming for dear life.

Keep in mind, these two are NFL players ... but being some of the toughest dudes on the planet couldn't save them in the haunted house.

"Bro, I gotta take these glasses off," 24-year-old Williams hilariously said. "Why the walls coming out at me bro?!"

It became too much for Hamilton as monsters started jumping out of nowhere ... so, he decided to close his eyes and hold on to Pepe.

But, the best part had to be when the two were chased into a corner by a fearsome psychopath in a straight jacket during the asylum-themed portion of the maze.

"Watch out! Watch out!" Pepe yelled, "Get out my face! Don't look at him!"

Luckily, the two made it out safe and sound, but they were clearly stressed out from the whole ordeal.

"It was too dark in there for me," Pepe said. "Never thought I'd see the sunshine again, man."

"It was good, but it was bad," Hamilton added.

Leslie Jordan, the beloved actor and comedian has died.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Jordan was driving in Hollywood Monday morning when it's suspected he suffered some sort of medical emergency and crashed his BMW into the side of a building.

Leslie was famous for his work on popular TV shows like "Will & Grace," "Hearts Afire," "The Cool Kids," "Call Me Kat" and "American Horror Story."

LJ became a social media sensation during the pandemic, with his silly video posts helping him skyrocket from about 80,000 Instagram followers to a whopping 5.8 million. He told us on "TMZ Live" his secret was just being himself -- a silly, funny, goofy, happy-go-lucky senior citizen.

Following his viral pandemic fame, Leslie appeared on CNN's New Year's Eve 2021 countdown, ringing in 2022 with Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen.

Leslie also acted in movies, including ... "The Help" and "Ski Patrol" and he made guest appearances in tons of TV shows like "Murphy Brown," "Ugly Betty," and "Boston Public."

On Sunday, Leslie posted a video on Instagram of himself singing a hymn.

The last time we saw Leslie out in public was pretty recently ... our photogs got him just last month, gauging his reaction to Elton John and Britney Spears releasing a new song together.

Leslie was 67.

RIP

Peyton and Eli Manning, along with Steelers legend Jerome Bettis, did their very best impression of Egon, Ray, Winston and Peter ... going to The Bus' alma mater, the University of Notre Dame, searching for a ghost in a hilarious Ghostbusters skit!

The three NFL legends came together for a special Halloween mashup episode of Peyton's Place and Eli's Place on ESPN+ (produced by Omaha Productions) -- where they became parapsychologists from the classic ghost-chasing movie -- and headed to South Bend, Indiana on the hunt for the ghost of George Gipp.

Gipp was an ND running back under Knute Rockne between 1917 and 1920. You may not recognize the name "George Gipp," but you've heard the phrase ... "win one for the Gipper." George is the Gipper.

In 1925, GG was sick and on his deathbed, when he famously delivered this line to his coach, telling him to use it to motivate the players.

"I've got to go, Rock. It's all right. I'm not afraid. Sometime Rock, when the team is up against it, when things are wrong and the breaks are beating the boys, ask them to go in there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock. But I'll know about it, and I'll be happy."

In the skit, Peyton, Eli and Jerome head for campus in the Ghostbusters' Ectomobile ... all while rocking the GB iconic jumpsuits.

Bettis wasn't feelin' the threads at first ... but Eli had a hilarious response for the former Notre Dame star.

"What?!" Eli said, "Did you think we'd be wearing a crop top or something?"

Peyton also jokes about Eli losing his spot on the ManningCast to Bill Murray -- who played Dr. Peter Venkman in the Ghostbusters movies.

Paul Pierce continues to be the butt of the joke after his viral raunchy twerking party last year -- his friends trolled him by getting a birthday cake with a picture from the infamous Instagram Live session ... and it's hilarious!!

Pierce, who celebrated his 45th birthday last Thursday, posted a picture of the cake on Twitter ... which poked fun at his NSFW gathering that led to his exit from ESPN.

On the cake is a pic of Paul -- who looks mesmerized -- pictured next to a scantily clad woman with the words, "Monica come through," and "Happy Birthday Habibi."

"My boys got me this cake fa my bday they play to much," Pierce said on Twitter ... seemingly accepting the friendly jab.

Remember ... the former Celtics superstar posted a video on Instagram showing him having a good time as scantily-clad women twerked on the floor behind him.

Pierce was fired from his ESPN job just days later.

Paul didn't seem too phased by his firing at the time ... posting a video of him smiling and laughing, saying, "Big Things coming soon stay tuned make sure u smile."

Shoutout to Paul for being a good sport about it all.

Kim Kardashian has big plans for Kris Jenner's hips -- like, the actual bones -- and not to be outdone, her mom wants her own remains turned into dazzlin' accessories.

The odd ideas came up on the latest episode of "The Kardashians" -- as Kris is in recovery mode from hip replacement surgery, a 3-way chat with Khloe Kardashian and Kylie Jenner is what prompts the macabre fashion pieces convo.

Kris says Kim wanted her old hip bones to be saved, so she could turn them into jewelry ... and it's clearly a 2-against-1 conversation in the room, with both daughters finding the idea absurd.

Khloe then goes further, reminding her mom about a similar idea Kris had -- where she wanted her cremated remains to be turned into necklaces.

Clearly, the daughters still aren't diggin' it.

It's an idea that's being put to use, though ... as we reported, Coolio's kids are in the process of designing jewelry that will hold some of their dad's ashes.

Michael Myers was killin' it at the gym this week.

Sorry, had to.

Former pro pitcher Logan Chitwood gave meatheads a scare at the gym this week -- by dressing up as the "Halloween" villain and getting in a workout!!

The hilarious prank was caught on video ... showing the YouTube star working on his biceps and triceps while decked out in the slasher's navy jumpsuit, mask, wig, and boots.

Chitwood stayed in character the whole time -- you can even see him holding a fake knife while pullin' this off ... but he did struggle a bit when he tried to do a one-armed pull-up.

The prank got a mixed reaction from the folks at the gym ... with some laughing and recording while the serious gym rats stayed focused.

You know who thought it was hilarious, though?!? LeBron James ... saying on his IG, "That some 💩 I would do!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

In fact, the NBA superstar -- who seems to be a huge Michael Myers fan -- has a fake replica of the slasher at his mansion for Halloween decor and recently watched the new "Halloween Ends" movie.

"Halloween Ends was so GOOD!!!!" the 37-year-old said on Twitter, "@jamieleecurtis you're such a LEGEND & BADASS #MichaelMyers"

Guardians first baseman Josh Naylor went Russell Westbrook yesterday ... hitting the "rock the baby" celebration after launching a home run off Yankees star pitcher Gerrit Cole.

Cleveland had been trailing NY, 3-1, in Game 4 of the American League Division Series (but leading the series, 2-1) ... when Naylor cut into the Yankees' lead, turning around a 98 MPH fastball from Cole.

As Naylor was rounding first base, the feisty Guardians slugger, who has a reputation for stirring the pot, began "rocking the baby" as he rounded the bases.

In the clip, it appears Naylor is mouthing, "He's my little f****** son," as he's approaching third base -- presumably referring to Cole, who he had just taken deep to right-center.

Cole -- who's allowed at least one home run in 10 consecutive starts, according to the broadcast -- spoke about Naylor's celebration after the game, admitting it was funny.

"Yeah, whatever. It's cute," said Cole, a five-time All-Star. "I didn't see it in the moment. It wouldn't have bothered in the moment, and it just is kind of funny."

Cole -- who's in his third season with the Yankees -- would get the last laugh ... as he led NY to a 4-2 victory over the Guardians at Progressive Field, forcing a Game 5 on Monday.

'SNL's cold open Saturday night was a hilarious gag on the January 6th Committee's closing arguments, but one line produced a gasp from the audience -- when 'Donald Trump' asked someone during the insurrection if the rioters made good on their threat to hang Mike Pence.

The casting was fantastic ... from Kenan Thompson who played Chairman Bennie Thompson, who introduced "a team of monotone nerds to do a PowerPoint."

'Liz Cheney' explained she's as tough as she is because she has "Big Dick Cheney energy!"

Then 'Rep. Jamie Raskin' read from the ominous message board with questions the day of the attempted coup, including ... "Is there a shuttle from LaQuinta Inn to coup?" and "Am I at wrong Washington? I see space needle."

Maybe the most hilarious part was video of the Capitol bunker, where 'Nancy Pelosi' and 'Chuck Schumer' were hunkered down. Pelosi -- played remarkably by Chloe Fineman -- was a bad ass, while Schumer was obsessed with getting lunch and sucking up to Pence!

President Biden has no problem playing America's grandpa on the drop of a dime, it seems -- he dished out sage, unsolicited advice to a young lady ... about who and when to date.

JB was in Irvine, CA Friday for an event where he was touting his administration's policies and plans to lower inflation, etc. After he wrapped, he posed for a photo with a teen and her mom in the crowd -- only to pass on some whispered wisdom straight into her ear.

The rec from POTUS ... "No serious guys 'til you're 30." He says he's told his own daughters/granddaughters this, and apparently felt compelled to pass it on. The teen awkwardly chuckles and says "OK" -- and when her ma asks what he said, he repeats it.

The mother says she'll keep that in mind and they all just laugh it off. Pretty soon, you see a Secret Service agent reaching for the man who's filming, apparently trying to shut it down.

Unfortunately, the Prez has a history of getting a little too close and handsy for comfort -- there are several photos of him leaning in and grabbing a hold of people ... including kids.

He always seems to mean well with his affection, but it hasn't sat very well with a lot of people ... especially as it pertains to women. Joe's denied ever being intentionally inappropriate -- this despite a lot of scrutiny he's been met with over the years for this.