Humor

A wise owl figured out how to commandeer a news conference by crapping all over a sign language interpreter, and it's hilarious!

The poop went down in Brisbane, Australia Wednesday ... Deputy Premier Steven Miles was giving a speech about recent flooding as the sign language interpreter dutifully translated his comments, and then ...

The owl was super strategic ... waiting for just the right moment to descend from a tree and plop a giant dump on the interpreter.

It's hard not to laugh at the mess, but even funnier is how civilized the reaction is ... it's almost like someone spilled a drop of tea on someone's coat.

Is Johnny Football BACK?!?!?!

He very well could be ... 'cause TMZ Sports has learned former Heisman winner Johnny Manziel is currently in talks with Fan Controlled Football to make a return to the gridiron!!

29-year-old Manziel was one of the most notable players in the FCF's inaugural season ... suiting up under center for the Zappers for three games.

Our sources feel confident Manziel will be back in season two ... at least for a few games.

But, here's where it gets interesting -- we're told Johnny would NOT be returning to the Zaps for the upcoming season ... as he's dying to play for Druski's new team.

In fact, Johnny went to Instagram early Friday morning to express his interest in joining the comedian's squad ... saying, "Only coming out of retirement for @Druski2Funny and Shoulda Been Athletics."

We broke the story -- Druski was announced as the newest owner of the defending champion Wild Aces earlier this week ... name-dropping Manziel as one of the main reasons he decided to get involved in the league.

It would be a full-circle moment for Druski ... and considering how passionate he is about the team, he's gotta be stoked about the possibility of having Manziel on board.

Joy Behar co-hosts a show that gets rough and tumble, and Thursday the tumble part took center stage, as she performed a spectacular face plant as the show began.

Joy's view from "The View" was hardwood after she tried to take a seat but seriously misjudged where she was plopping down.

Whoopi and a P.A. helped the 79-year-old co-host back up on her feet, and Joy laughed it off. Nevertheless, it was a nasty fall and she could have hurt herself some and tried to power through the show.

Joy actually didn't miss a beat, getting back on her feet and then threatening legal action ... joking of course ... we think 👀.

In case you're wondering, when someone slips and falls on someone else's property, the property owner is not automatically on the hook ... only if there's some sort of negligence, and it seems this one's all on Joy.

Later in the show, Joy used her fall to take a more serious turn ... urging folks not to take these sorta incidents lightly ... mentioning Bob Saget, who died after falling in his hotel room. She said, “If you hit your head, and you feel dizzy or you have blurred vision, or you feel like you want to go to sleep, go to the doctor. Because that will kill you."

A U.S. congressman has the internet dumbfounded by a cryptic tweet aimed at young folks -- and while some try to figure out what he means ... it's music to others peoples' ears.

Representative Clay Higgins -- who reps Louisiana's 3rd congressional district -- fired off a bizarre message Sunday ... seemingly pissed off at liberals -- but his insult kinda fell flat, because no one really knows what the hell he's even saying.

Higgins wrote, "You millennial leftists who never lived one day under nuclear threat can now reflect upon your woke sky. You made quite a non-binary fuss to save the world from intercontinental ballistic tweets."

There's a lot to unpack here ... millennial leftists ... woke sky ... non-binary fuss ... intercontinental ballistic tweets??? Indeed, there's a lot of good standout imagery here -- and as a result, it's got many thinking these are great band names and/or album titles.

Others imagined this as something a comic book character might say in a panel ... just 'cause it's so dang flowery and ominous. And even more yet thought it was poetic!

Even Dictionary.com got in on the fun ... directly responding to Rep. Higgins by asking the obvious -- whatcha mean, man??? They wrote, "We’re not entirely sure what this tweet is supposed to mean, and we’re literally the dictionary."

As for what CH is actually getting at ... it appears to be related to Ukraine -- and without reading too much into it ... he seems to be parroting far-right talking points that have bubbled up during this whole fiasco -- namely, about how this is all about culture wars.

Yes, even in this dire time ... it would seem some simply can't let go of that mindset -- and even crazier, just as many, in some cases, are even embracing and cozying up to Russia right now, sympathizing with their cause!

Comedian Russell Peters tied the knot in a big way ... inviting almost 300 guests, many of them big-time celebs -- including his announcer, first dance singer and officiant.

Russell and his bride, Ali, had their big day at the Ritz Carlton in Dana Point, CA ... and the event last Sunday looked like it was a "who's who" from the music, comedy and sports worlds.

For starters, Cedric The Entertainer led through their "I dos" as he conducted the ceremony, and, of course, got a few laughs in the process.

R&B great Deborah Cox sang the bride and groom's first dance song, Chic's Nile Rodgers made a special appearance and UFC announcer Bruce Buffer introduced Russell and Ali as they entered the reception!

As for the faces in the crowd celebrating with them -- Raekwon from Wu-Tang Clan, Big Daddy Kane, DJ Scratch, Melle Mel, and Luenell were all there and having a blast.

One of those "ya had to be there" kind of nights!

Russell and Ali got married just before sunset on a bluff overlooking the ocean -- a picture-perfect scene -- and the party went late into the night with loads of dancing, food and a retro candy station to keep up everyone's dance floor energy.

No one is safe from 50 Cent's trolling -- not even the NBA's G.O.A.T. -- 'cause the rapper came after Michael Jordan on Wednesday, clowning His Airness for his handsy embrace with Mary J. Blige over the weekend.

Fiddy just dropped the joke on his Instagram page ... poking fun at the way MJ held on to MJB while posing for a pic at the NBA All-Star Game on Sunday in Cleveland.

(BTW, Blige posted the photo to her Instagram page earlier this week. See below.)

50 zoomed in on Jordan's hand, which appeared to be creepin' close to the top of a butt cheek, and wrote, "MJ & MJB, he palmed the ball 🏀LOL"

The "In Da Club" rapper added a pic of a surprised Denzel Washington to make the ribbing extra spicy.

Stand-up comedian Earthquake has the biggest platform of his more than 30-year career, and he's giving Dave Chappelle all the props for giving him the big break.

Earthquake joined us Tuesday on "TMZ Live" to talk more about his upcoming special, "Legendary" ... the first of Dave's 4-part series, "Chappelle's Home Team." He told us, he's flattered Dave "reached back" to give comedians like himself such a huge opportunity to reach a wider audience.

Of course, Dave sparked lots of controversy for Netflix last year after his special, "The Closer," pissed off LGBTQ+ groups and some employees at the streaming service.

Rather than shying away, Netflix is capitalizing on its relationship with Dave ... and Earthquake and other comedians are benefitting. Earthquake says it all started with a surprising call -- which he thought was a prank -- from Netflix execs.

Chappelle won't be doing any stand-up specials this time around, but he is executive producing all of them and recording intros for the comedians. BTW, Earthquake gave us some insider intel about the other comedians who will be featured.

The NBA All-Star Celebrity Game had challenges Friday night ... because there was a major distraction in the crowd -- and her name is Megan Fox.

It must've been super hard for some players to concentrate as Megan cheered on her fiance Machine Gun Kelly, who played on Team Walton in the Ruffles NBA All-Star Celebrity Game during NBA All-Star Weekend.

MGK was festooned in bling as he showed off his skills ... btw, he has mad skills on the hardwood.

Team Walton also included Quavo ... himself a pretty awesome player. He was more than happy to mug for a selfie with former WNBA great Lisa Leslie.

The opposing team -- Team Nique -- included the likes of Tiffany Haddish, singer Kane Brown and Jack Harlow!

Good sportsmanship clearly abounded at the event, as Jack Harlow of Team Nique was seen sharing a heartwarming embrace with Quavo of the opposite side.

Matt James of 'Bachelor' fame and a member of Team Walton had a misstep when he was shooting from the foul line and hit teammate Brittney Elena in the chest by mistake. People started trolling Matt on social media, and Brittney then jumped in ... "🤣🤣🤦🏽‍♀️🤣🤣 He said sorry y'all! It was a simple mistake lol."

Netflix is turning the page from Dave Chappelle's 'Closer' controversy by staying in business ... with Dave Chappelle, and rolling out new comedy specials with his fingerprint all over 'em.

Dave and the streaming platform announced a new standup comedy series Friday called, "Chappelle's Home Team" ... which will focus on comics handpicked by DC himself. The first of 4 episodes are set to drop February 28, featuring Earthquake.

Remember, Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos refused to remove "The Closer" last year when LGBTQ groups, and others, accused Chappelle of transphobia and staged several protests at Netflix HQ.

Sarandos said the company fully supported all comedians' right to express themselves ... and stood by Dave. The new specials are proof positive of that continued partnership, which has been extremely profitable for both parties.

He's released 10 standup specials on Netflix since 2016 and, by some reports, has made north of $200 mil.

It's been nearly 7 years since the Houston Texans' season on "Hard Knocks" ... and J.J. Watt's infamous "Remember the Name" rap montage is still getting roasted -- this time, by the NFL star himself!!

In case you missed the hilariously cringe moment, Watt was videoed getting in a tough workout while HBO cameras were rolling during training camp in 2015 ... when he decided to rap along to the Fort Minor tune.

The scene has taken new life over the years ... with fans poking fun at Watt for his rap skills and how over-the-top it was.

Now, Watt is finally addressing the scene ... saying, "You ever sing a song in the car and you think it sounds great and then you try and break it out at karaoke that night and it just doesn't quite hit the same??"

Watt then cuts to the clip ... clearly showing embarrassment over it.

"Yeah ... me too."

The hilarious feud between Usain Bolt and Tyreek Hill is nowhere near dead yet ... the legendary sprinter clowned the NFL player on Sunday, laughing about his effort in a race at the Pro Bowl.

Bolt threw the jabs as he was leaving the Super Bowl on Sunday ... telling TMZ Sports he doesn't want to race Hill after he saw the Kansas City Chiefs star drop a sprint to Dallas Cowboys rookie Micah Parsons.

"He's not ready," Bolt said of Hill. "He got beaten by some linebacker! He ain't ready for this!"

Bolt was giggling as he tossed out the barbs -- and said after watching Tyreek in the Vegas race he's still sublimely confident he'd dust Hill on the track.

"I'm the fastest man in the world," Bolt said. "What do you mean?!"

If you missed it, Hill and Bolt have been trading words about a possible race for months -- with Hill telling us back in November he's so sure he'd beat Bolt, he's willing to put his Super Bowl ring on the line.

Bolt, though, clearly doesn't seem to think Hill is even deserving of his time ... telling us outside of SoFi Stadium the receiver -- and any other NFL player who thinks they're fast -- needs to get "serious" and then call him.

Barry Manilow was weaponized against protestors in New Zealand pissed over vaccine mandates in an attempt to get 'em to scram -- but it doesn't sound like the ploy worked.

You might've heard about this ... there are demonstrations happening down there that have gone on for quite some time now, with scores of people flocking to the Parliament building in Wellington over the past week or so and occupying the streets ... refusing to leave.

This is very much in the same vein as the Canadian trucker convoy movement happening in Toronto. The big difference here being ... NZ officials got creative Friday with their attempted disbursement methods, resorting to what they appear to consider annoying music!

Multiple reports describe NZ law enforcement blasting Manilow's greatest hits on a 15-minute loop, and not just that ... but, apparently, the "Macarena" got trotted out on repeat as well.

Unfortunately, there isn't much video showing this hilarious scene -- although, there's one clip that shows the New Zealand protestors dancing to Boney M's "Rivers of Babylon," which also seems to have gotten blasted over the speakers.

There are even accounts of the protestors playing Twisted Sister's "We're Not Gonna Take It" in response to the government's attempt to drive them crazy with earworms.

It also appears they were jamming out to their own soundtrack throughout the day, with Lenny Kravitz's "Let Love Rule" making a cameo at one point. Essentially, it looked a lot like a Woodstock event ... and, eventually, a battle of the songs between the dueling groups.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's angry rant at Nancy Pelosi and our government turned unintentionally hilarious when she confused Nazi Germany's secret police with a bowl of soup!!!

The LOL moment went down Wednesday when MTG was doing a TV hit with One America News and going off on the Speaker of the House. Yes, par for the course ... but then she accused Pelosi of using her "gazpacho police" to spy on members of Congress and American citizens.

Forget, for a moment, the lack of evidence supporting her allegation -- and instead, focus on how delicious it is! 😋

For those not in the know ... gazpacho is a cold Spanish soup made from a wide variety of vegetables. We're guessing the word Rep. Greene was actually reaching for was "Gestapo" ... a secret police force the Nazis unleashed on German citizens.

The clip is going viral and folks are having a bunch of laughs at MTG's expense on social.

Rep. Greene must have caught wind of her screwup, because she's also making fun of herself with a "Seinfeld" reference and an intentional -- we think -- mix-up of "gulag" and "goulash."

Fall back, Neil Young ... Joe Rogan's plenty capable of ripping himself, and is openly questioning why anyone would take medical advice from the freakin' host of "Fear Factor."

Rogan was onstage Tuesday night in Austin doing stand-up, and dug into his recent podcast controversies ... saying he was disgusted seeing the compilation video of his repeated, uncensored use of the n-word.

Rogan told the crowd -- whose phones were locked to block all recordings -- "That was racist as f**k. Even to me! I’m me and I’m watching it saying, ‘Stop saying it!’ I put my cursor over the video and I’m like, ‘Four more minutes?!'”

He was even more self-deprecating when it came to the COVID-19/anti-vaxx criticisms ... saying he's completely unqualified to offer medical advice.

He's made the point before, but this was more biting -- “If you’re taking vaccine advice from me, is that really my fault? What dumb s**t were you about to do when my stupid idea sounded better? ‘You know that dude who made people eat animal dicks on TV? How does he feel about medicine?’ If you want my advice, don’t take my advice.”

Bill Murray's at it again ... just two years after he ripped a fan's tequila shot at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am -- he repeated the feat at the same place this weekend!!!

The hilarious moment -- like the one in Feb. 2020 -- was all captured on video on Saturday ... showing Murray taking a lime wedge and a cup of booze from a fan just before he was set to hit his next shot on a hole.

The footage is laugh-out-loud funny ... you can see Murray grabbed a cup from a woman, shot the tequila no problem, and threw both the container and the lime into the crowd.

The fans loved it -- one yelled, "Let's go! What a boss!" -- and everyone nearby cheered and hollered.

Of course, this is becoming a bit of a tradition for Murray at the famous golf event ... you'll recall, just two years ago, he downed a fan's tequila shot there in epic fashion as well.

Murray isn't known as the world's best celeb golfer -- but he's certainly one of the most fun ... in fact, he hit a no-look putt over the weekend that had everyone cracking up too.

Pete Davidson haters are going to love this ...

The comedian was pummeled by ex-New England Patriots star Jerod Mayo for an ad about food waste ... and it's all pretty hilarious.

The spot -- a Hellmann's Super Bowl LVI ad -- was released Monday ... showing Mayo hitting a whole bunch of people who were on the verge of throwing away perfectly usable food.

Mayo sacked a man with bread, a woman with potatoes, an elderly woman with chicken, and then a man with spinach.

Finally, the 6-foot-1, 250-pound former linebacker (who now coaches on Bill Belichick's staff in New England) confronted Pete at a house party.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Pete said to Mayo as the ex-football player charged in ... "Mom's already tackling food waste, Mayo!"

Jerod appeared to leave ... but then he came back and speared Pete to the floor.

"I get it," Pete said while on the ground after Jerod apologized for the hit. "I'm very hittable."