Humor

Donald Trump and Joe Biden's hypothetical high school brawl apparently has D.C. in a fighting mood -- 'cause 2 senators actually got into it ... with snowballs.

Republican Sen. Jeff Flake and Democrat Sen. Cory Booker had themselves a good ol' fashioned D.C. duel early Thursday morning outside the Capitol.

Flake was clearly poking fun at Trump and Biden's beef. As he put it, "With so many fights on Capitol Hill, @CoryBooker and I are going literal: Snowball duel." The stakes ... loser buys the other's staff pizza.

Booker accepted the challenge, and predicted a win since he's from New Jersey, and Flake's home state of Arizona "doesn't have much snow." He probably shouldn't have been so confident, though ... he later said he lost the duel, and would be shelling out for pies.

Unlike Trump and Biden -- who apparently wanna beat the actual living crap out of each other -- Flake and Booker seem to actually get along from opposite sides of the aisle.

John Oliver has mastered the art of trolling, and with the help of a now best-selling gay rabbit ... he's making a laughingstock of Vice President Mike Pence's children's book.

Oliver's new children's book, "A Day in the Life of Marlon Bundo," is currently the No. 1 best selling book on Amazon. It's basically a satirical send-up of Pence's book, starring Bundo ... but, of course, the Veep's bunny is not out. It's also down at No. 4 on best sellers.

The "Last Week Tonight" host released his bunny tale on Sunday, a day before Pence's release -- to directly compete with the VP -- and, let's be honest, to troll the hell out of his conservative views on LGBT rights.

Oliver's got him beat in the overall category, and in Children's books, where both the hard cover and the Kindle version are dominating over Pence's version.

Yes, you could say John has pulled a rabbit out of his hat.

Alex Trebek hates all things 'Willy Wonka' -- that's our takeaway anyway, after hearing from the 'Jeopardy' contestant who was also in the movie ... which Alex completely ignored.

Paris Themmen -- who played little Mike Teavee in "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory" -- tells TMZ ... he didn't bring up that interesting tidbit while getting introduced on Tuesday night's episode because Trebek had clearly decided NOT to mention it.

Themmen says Trebek had 3 "fun facts" about him, but obviously chose to run with a backpacking nugget instead. According to Themmen, Alex is a big travel guy, and that apparently took precedent with him over anything as stupid as classic movies.

Even crazier ... Themmen says there's history with Alex and 'Wonka.' He tells us his wife was a 'Jeopardy' champ back in the day, and also had the 'Wonka' fun fact about her hubby on her card. He says Alex ignored it then, too ... until he couldn't.

Mason Pryor says he knew pretty quickly his first major stand-up gig was not going to end well, but he's chalking it up to a lesson in comedy.

Richard Pryor's youngest son told us Thursday about totally bombing his set on "Showtime at the Apollo," and what's amazing is ... he's staying super positive.

Mason says while he's opened for Eddie Griffin before, this was his first televised performance, and he knows he's got a lot of work to do before the next one.

On the bright side, Mason says several comedians have reached out to tell him to stick with it -- he's not the first to bomb at The Apollo -- and at the very least ... he's now made his OWN name for himself!

Amy Schumer and her new hubby are enjoying some love, Italian style during their honeymoon ... or so you'd guess based on the shots of them taking a smoke break.

Chris Fischer and Amy are honeymooning in Venice, and stepped out onto their balcony at the posh Gritti Palace. The grins on their faces, the ciggy, and Amy's super cozy robe scream ... mission accomplished on the marriage consummation front!

The happy couple later retreated to separate balconies, but not because they need space from each other. Amy posed from one balcony while Chris stood on the other, snapping shots of his blushing bride holding white flowers. Amy even ditched her robe for her photo shoot.

As we reported ... Amy and Chris secretly got married last month in front of an intimate, but super famous gathering that included Jennifer Aniston, Larry David and David Spade.

That's amore!

Kris Jenner tried answering our questions with a straight face. She did at first, but then we had her cracking up ... then just baffled.

Kris and her bf, Corey Gamble, hit up Mr Chow Wednesday night in Bev Hills and we wanted to know -- who's better at baseball? You'll recall we got the Kardashian brood at a ballpark hitting line drives.

The momager -- who btw is wearing a Gucci mink coat that retails for $58k -- quickly answered. But, check out what she's got to say when we ask her if Travis and Kylie should move in together. It was a case of the giggles ... again.

Rule #1 of live reporting during a massive snowstorm -- don't jinx yourself by speaking a snowball into existence, unless you wanna take an icy shot to the face ... like this reporter did.

Lauren Dawn was covering the nor'easter Wednesday for FOX 29 in Philly, and foolishly attempted a little man-on-the-street reporting from the middle of a snowball fight.

Next thing ya know, Lauren found herself surrounded by kids who couldn't care less about her camera, her microphone ... or her face. Mentioning the fact she'd been hit before going on the air was a big mistake, and we're pretty sure the kids made sure she doesn't repeat it.

Comedian Michael Blackson seriously wants to beat the crap outta Kevin Hart -- telling TMZ Sports he's bringing in 2 of the best boxers in the world so he can get the job done!!

Just last month, Blackson told us he wanted to fight Kev to settle their beef ... but we kinda figured he was joking since, you know, we're talking about Michael Blackson here.

But when we got him out at Argyle in Hollywood the other day -- MB claimed both Adrien Broner and Deontay Wilder have agreed to train him for the potential comedy superfight.

Michael says he tried hitting up Floyd, too, but got big-timed.

Elton John's still down to fight unruly fans -- Saturday night or not -- if they get onstage and refuse to keep their hands to themselves.

Sir Elton got pissed off, and stormed off his stage Thursday night in Las Vegas, right in the middle of his classic, 'Saturday Night.' Typically, he lets fans gather around his grand piano while he plays it, but a couple of 'em got way too close for Elton's comfort.

After an expletive or two -- off mic, of course, he's a pro -- EJ stormed offstage. You'll recall, he also took a shot during this song a couple weeks ago.

The crowd was pretty sure the show was over, but Elton came back to let 'em know there would be no more fan interaction. He blurted out, "You f**ked it up!" ... and then played "Circle of Life."

John Kelly says he's being punished by God ... and that's why he's working as Donald Trump's Chief of Staff.

Gen. Kelly made the joke Thursday at a Homeland Security event, where he was addressing his former colleagues at the department -- which he used to run. He says he must've done something wrong ... and the man upstairs took notice.

He also told his old crew he missed them ... the implication ... working for 45 ain't no walk in the park.

Robert De Niro and Bobby Cannavale displayed raw emotions on set ... with a side of beef.

The duo was filming Martin Scorsese's mobster thriller "The Irishman" on Tuesday in Queens. Robert and Bobby looked a little perplexed as a slab of beef arrived on set. That feeling clearly didn't last long ... the legendary actor later laughed his ass off.

Classic De Niro.

Unclear if anyone started punching the meat a la Rocky ... but what is very clear is De Niro is NOT wearing those hideous lifts. Remember? The guy De Niro is portraying stands at an intimidating 6'4". De Niro's only 5'10". All good ... De Niro still nails the mobster role.

Ted Cruz said Democrats were the party of Lisa Simpson, and that the GOP was the party of Homer, Bart, Maggie and Marge ... now he's explaining how so.

We got the TX senator Monday at Reagan National Airport in D.C. and asked him to elaborate on the comment he made last week at CPAC, which drew ridicule left and right.

Cruz offers a VERY thorough explanation into why each character -- sans Lisa -- represents Republican values and mirrors the traditional American family. Our question ... he reachin'?

One of the voice actors on the cartoon show clearly thinks so. We got Harry Shearer over the weekend, and he thought Cruz was way out of his element tying conservatism to Springfield.

Jon Stewart says you can't count anyone out of a U.S. political race these days -- and that even goes for staunch conservative Stacey Dash ... who's now eyeing D.C.

We got Jon Monday night leaving Madison Square Garden after a Knicks game, and asked about the "Clueless" star filing docs to run for Congress in California as a Republican.

The former 'Daily Show' host doesn't seem surprised at all by her intentions. Even more interesting ... he gives her a real chance at winning. Hey, it's the Trump era after all.

A kid who started peeing all over an elevator seriously pissed off the powers that be ... 'cause he got stuck in the elevator.

The video is hilarious -- the boy, who was alone in the lift, decided to empty his bladder. Wizzin' in the corner wasn't good enough for him either. Instead, he sprayed down the wall of the elevator, including the buttons ... which caused a short circuit.

Iman Shumpert says just because his wife is down with G.O.O.D. music, it doesn't mean he is ... telling TMZ Sports he's never even gotten so much as a beat from his boss-in-law, Kanye West.

Shumpert is a pretty serious rapper himself, having released his Mixtape "Shumpman: The MD" back in 2016, and continuing to flood social media with new verses on the regular.

We got Iman at LAX, and asked him if his wife's label boss, Kanye West, has ever given Shump any help AT ALL in his rap career ... and here's a shocker, it's never happened.

Iman says he's never asked ... not outright at least ... however we did find a recent freestyle he dropped over Kanye's "Grammy Family" beat (and he killed it), so we gotta ask ...

Reese Witherspoon knows if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself ... which is why she spruced up her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Reese filmed herself out on Hollywood Blvd. Sunday morning, and told her IG followers she'd be visiting an old friend in the area. That friend ... 2010 sidewalk Reese.

She playfully cleaned up some smudges on her star ... while also giving the hardware a nice little pep talk on not letting the world walk all over it, despite its permanent position in life.