Humor

Dallas Cowboys safety Ha Ha Clinton-Dix lost his mind when he scootered up onto 2 bears in his driveway this week ... and the hilarious encounter was all caught on surveillance video!!!

The footage -- captured Monday night around 8:45 PM -- shows the 27-year-old joy riding when a couple of beasts strolled by.

Seems a mama bear and her cub were sniffing around ... and when an oblivious Clinton-Dix cruised near them on his scooter -- hilarity ensued.

The 6'1", 211-pound defensive back (who used to play for the Chicago Bears, funny enough!) threw his ride, stopped on a dime and turned and bolted off!!!

"I play D # gotta be ready to go," Clinton-Dix said of the incident. "A lil high on my flip turn but the drive was there. I ain’t know how many was over there."

Of course, several NFL studs clowned Ha Ha over the interaction ... including Stefon Diggs who wrote, "Boy tried to ghost ride the scooter into him."

Fortunately for Ha Ha ... the Bears were so frightened by him, they took off as well -- and no animals or NFL players were hurt.

It's more like the not-so-Immaculate Conception now -- a botched restoration of a famous Baroque painting has left the artwork unrecognizable, and its private collector stunned.

Here's the deal ... a private art collector in Spain shelled out $1,355 to get a famous painting of the Immaculate Conception -- by Baroque artist Bartolomé Esteban Murillo -- cleaned up by a furniture restorer. Unfortunately, the job was a total botch!!!

The amateur restorer made 2 attempts to fix the art, according to Spain's Europa Press, but as you can see ... it only got worse and worse. We shoulda put a graphic warning on this image for art fans.

The artistic disaster is drawing comparisons to other recent restoration attempts in Spain, where there are no laws governing who is allowed to restore artwork, no matter their skill, or lack thereof.

For example, take this botched 2012 restoration of a prized fresco painting of Jesus Christ by an elderly parishioner of a church near Zaragoza ... she tried to paint over it and now it's infamously known as, "Monkey Christ."

And, just last year, a 16th-Century statue of St. George, which stood at a church in Navarre, drew headlines after an alleged restoration some say looks like a Playmobile figure.

Spain's Professional Association of Restorers and Conservators (ACRE) ripped the country's government in a statement, condemning a lack of restoration regulation and calling the Immaculate Conception incident not a restoration, but a "vandalism."

ACRE says ... "We should be alarmed by the fact that part of our heritage is disappearing due to these disastrous interventions."

To that we say ... Si, si, si!!!

Comedian D.L. Hughley had some sort of medical emergency Friday night ... he was performing at a Nashville club when he went limp and passed out cold.

D.L. was performing at Zanies Comedy Club and a sold out crowd was enjoying his jokes when suddenly, at around 11 PM, it appeared something was amiss. His speech became labored. A security guard handed D.L. a bottle of water, and a minute later he just passed out cold while he was leaning against a stool.

The comedian's manager was at the ready and grabbed D.L. to break his fall. The manager carried him off stage and that was it ... no one told the crowd what happened, but it was serious enough for an ambulance and fire truck to show up. D.L. was put on a stretcher and taken to a nearby hospital.

We've tried contacting D.L.'s rep ... so far, no word back.

Tiffany Haddish has become a strong voice in the Black Lives Matter movement, and on Friday she mixed in a little comedy to make a point about how to deal with white guilt.

Tiffany was outside The Laugh Factory in WeHo Friday afternoon, which was hosting a Juneteenth forum to "celebrate, protest, and learn from community leaders and star-studded comedians."

So, Tiffany talked about the American dream, which in the past has partly involved ownership of land and other things of value. She said if some people are processing white guilt and trying to figure out how to make things right ... well, Tiff's got some ideas.

She suggests a little redistribution of wealth ... maybe an acre or 2 here and there. For a more modest redistribution of wealth, Tiffany suggests buying some herbs, vitamins and Moon Juice.

Her message ... "Don't just own debt, own a piece of America."

Drake should get more than 3 points for this shot, but it looks like he's playing solo ... so he wins no matter what. Also, he's playing from his 35,000 sq. ft mansion, so he'd already won.

The rapper was practicing cornhole trick shots Thursday night from long-distance -- about 50 feet away from the second-story window of his Toronto palace, and put one right in the hole after a few tries.

He was pretty pumped about it ... as was his lone spectator -- the guy recording the toss for the 'Gram.

Drake captioned his epic next-level shot, "Highlight of summer 2020 so far."

Going viral is often a bad thing -- especially when it's for someone's singing to you about how "You about to lose yo job" -- but turns out it's been a potential cash cow for Julius Locklear.

We broke the story ... Julius is the security guard who got a melodic earful from the woman he was detaining outside a South Carolina strip club. Despite her awesome lyrics, Julius remained employed ... in security, and as a bail bondsman.

Now he tells us ... his situation's improving.

Locklear says he has job offerings pouring in thanks to the video, and tells us it's because prospective employers like the professionalism and restraint he displayed.

Julius says one offer is from an up-and-coming artist in Atlanta who reached out and asked if he's interested in being hired as his full-time bodyguard.

We're told another offer is from a big security company in Los Angeles. Locklear says they told him they saw him in the video and are looking for more honest, hardworking and dedicated personnel like him ... especially nowadays.

He says they're holding a position for him, and he's planning to head to L.A. for a meeting as soon as safely possible. Damn COVID.

The man who got an earful from a woman upset about being detained did not lose his job, despite her best wishes and awesome lyrical skills ... he tells us he's still gainfully employed!!!

The man behind the badge in the viral 'Lose Yo Job' video is Julius Locklear, and he tells TMZ ... he's still working as security detail and a bail bondsman.

As you know ... Julius got his 15 minutes of fame this week when video of him detaining a singing and dancing woman started spreading like wildfire on social media, getting the meme treatment and a fun viral remix to boot.

Julius says the incident went down way back on Feb. 5 in Dillon, SC ... where he was hired as special security detail at Diamonds Gentleman's Club.

The way Julius tells it ... the club was closing and kicking out everyone around 4:15 AM, but the woman in the video was alone and refused to hit the road.

Julius says he told her, "You better leave before you get in trouble," to which he claims she replied, "Go suck a d***."

We all know what happens next ... the woman broke out into a freestyle and a dance, "You about to lose yo job, 'cause you are detaining me, for nothing!!!"

JL says he again told the woman to leave, but she fired back with the same line and refused ... so he cuffed her for trespassing. Julius claims he had the authority to cuff her because she twice refused to leave.

Julius has a good sense of humor about it all ... he says the song and dance were hilarious. Easier to laugh when you don't lose your job, too.

In the end ... Julius says he told her she would be let go if she could find a ride, and the club's DJ took her home.

"You about to lose yo job, 'cause you are detaining me, for nothing!!!"

That's the hilarious freestyle one woman dropped off the dome while getting detained by a police officer ... and the viral video is already getting the meme treatment and a super cool remix!

The clip of a woman in police custody in "Somewhere, USA" started spreading like wildfire Wednesday on social media, and while the original version is gold ... the remix that dropped Thursday is platinum!!!

A cool cat by the name of Random J Pop just popped out the remix, adding a bumping beat to the woman's catchy little ditty ... and ya gotta give them both a listen. The lyrics are great, the tune is catchy, and the best part ... she even has her own dance!!! Watch, 'cause even the cop had to laugh.

Again, no clue where, when or why the woman was in custody -- all that really matters is, "You gotta git this dance!"

Karen has struck again -- this time at a park where a few little kids were taking a Power Wheels toy car for a spin ... and she was ready to pull 'em over.

Check it out ... the old lady -- who one Twitter user hilariously dubbed "grandkaren" -- is upset that the woman watching the children is letting them "drive all over the place."

When the woman says the kids are just playing in their toy vehicle, Karen says she's never seen a car in the park before ... and what really bothers her is that they don't have a driver's license.

Again, this is a Power Wheels ride ... which has a TOP speed of 5 mph.

Grandkaren gets one last gripe in about the kids being unsupervised ... by the woman recording them from yards away.

Cleveland's mayor left a sour taste in the mouth's of many locals who tuned in to a discussion he had about the city ... referring to The Land as "The World's Butthole."

Mayor Frank Jackson was talking about his fair city and its charms on Wednesday -- but during the Facebook chat, he said yes, he's aware that many perceive Cleveland as Earth's anus ... so to speak. He very quickly made it clear, though, that HE doesn't actually believe that to be the case.

Check it out ... Frank says perception isn't always reality, and if you closely examine Cleveland's GDP and gross domestic capital -- it's actually fairly wealthy in that region of the country.

He's right, BTW ... there've been multiple studies and articles in recent years documenting Cleveland's output -- and the numbers, by and large, are on an upward trend dating back to the early 2000s. Even federal data backs up Cleveland's positive economic status.

Melvin Gordon didn't hold back when he was asked about the possibility of playing in fan-less stadiums in 2020 ... saying it used to happen to him all the time in his Chargers career!!

"Bro, we didn't have fans anyway!" Gordon said with a laugh.

Of course, MG ain't really wrong ... Chargers games over the past few seasons became famous for being overrun by opponents' fan bases -- but hearing Gordon say it so bluntly was still SAVAGE!!

"We didn't have many Chargers fans, I'm going to be honest," Gordon explained in an interview this week with his former Wisconsin teammate, Marcus Cromartie. "We didn't have many Chargers fans at the game."

Don't worry, L.A. faithful ... Gordon still praised the few of you out there, saying, "Much loyalty, love, but we didn't have many!"

Gordon added, "I ain't really missing out on much!"

This isn't the first time the running back has taken a shot at the Chargers' lack of support at their own games ... remember, he was publicly pissed at his former squad for playing the Steelers' rally song during their own HOME game in 2019.

Gordon doesn't have to worry about any of that anymore if the COVID-19 pandemic subsides ... he's in Denver now -- where fans are notorious for being loud as hell at games.

Chrissy Teigen is hoping laughter is the best medicine in the face of a deadly pandemic ... laughing her face off while getting tested for the novel coronavirus.

The supermodel/TV personality mom posted video Tuesday of her in-home coronavirus test, and she couldn't help but giggle while a healthcare worker shoved a swab deep up her nostril.

Chrissy lets out a bit of a scream as the swab enters her nose, but by the time the guy pulls it out, she's laughing. When she gets her other nostril swabbed, Chrissy is giggling the whole time, and seems extra ticklish.

The testing process doesn't seem like a whole lotta fun ... but Chrissy says it's not bad at all.

John Legend's wife also says she "honestly loved" her coronavirus test ... which is good news for anyone on the fence about getting tested.

Hopefully Chrissy loves the results ... otherwise, it might not be so funny.

Did you know Tom Brady spends more cash than Gisele in their relationship ... AND has more clothes than the supermodel too?!?!

It's true ... the couple revealed the facts in a new video Tuesday -- and Tom's sheepish admission to both is HILARIOUS!!

Gisele posted the footage of the fun TikTok game on social media ... and we learned a hell of a lot about the power couple -- with a little extra help from Tom's son, Ben!!

A breakdown of the highlights ...

Who eats more ... and who eats healthiest?

• All three said Gisele eats the most between the two ... but it was a split decision on who eats healthiest, with Tom saying Gisele, and Gisele saying Tom.

Who's more spoiled?

• Brady won this category in a LANDSLIDE!!

Who's a bigger baby when sick?

• All three picked TB12 here too!

Who requires more attention?

• Yup, you guessed it, Tom won this one in handedly as well!!!

But, the best two parts of the clip? Check out the answers to "Who spends the most money?" and "Who has more clothes?" ... Tom's ashamed reaction is priceless!!

It's got diamonds and rubies and sapphires and more ... but who cares about that, the Nats World Series rings have BABY SHARK!

The team revealed their 2019 World Series championship rings over the weekend -- which are dripping in jewels ... 170 total stones and weighs 23.2 carats.

But everyone is talking about the Baby Shark design on the inside of the ring -- a tribute to the song that became the rallying cry for the team.

Remember, outfielder Gerardo Parra used the song as his walk-up music ... but it was later adopted by the fans as the unofficial song of the squad. Hence the tribute.

Here's the explanation of the rest of the design ...

108 Diamonds ... representing the team's 105 total regular-season and postseason wins PLUS one diamond for the World Series championship and 2 more diamonds to honor the cities where the team has been based (Montreal and Washington).

32 Sapphires ... the total of the team's 7 walk-off wins, 13 shutout wins, 8-game winning streak (their longest of the season) and 4 playoff rounds won.

(Yeah, that one is weird).

30 Rubies ... total number of runs the team scored during the World Series.