Humor

Lori Harvey had just one answer when asked if her man Future's been father-approved -- BOY, BYE!!! Yeah, she played it coy with our camera guy.

We got Lori out at LAX Friday morning and, of course, we had to ask if Steve Harvey's got a crazy screening process when it comes to her boyfriends. Lori admits Steve's very protective ... but is he over barring and going full CIA mode?

Well, Lori wouldn't let up but when our camera guy finally worked up the courage to ask about Future, Lori played it safe and bolted. Smart kid.

As we reported ... Future posted a picture up close and personal with Lori last month living it up in Jamaica. He rightfully noted, "Life is Good." They had been linked together in Nigeria but it became official on their Jamaica trip to celebrate her 23rd birthday.

Now ... asking her if Steve's approved of Future's a legit question considering Steve wrote a book for women on playing the dating game. Seems the jury's still out ... or is it?

Lynn Nottage -- a notable playwright -- suffered one hell of an ordeal getting locked in the bathroom at the Lincoln Center. And, thanks to her Twitter fingers ... she got help getting out!!!

Nottage -- the only woman to have won a Pulitzer Prize for drama twice -- didn't mince words when she tweeted Thursday morning to her nearly 20k followers she's locked in the bathroom, saying, "I have been banging and yelling if you see this tweet send help!"

Worth noting ... it appears she's tweeting from an iPad. Anyway ... about 13 minutes later the Lincoln Center's official account tweeted, "All is well! Thank you everyone for the speedy response. Lynn has been found and rescued. On with #IntimateAppaarel rehearsals!"

Yeah, that's the current opera being produced at the famous theater. Lynn -- who won a Pulitzer for her plays "Sweat" and "Ruined" -- is producing the show's libretto.

What's libretto you jabronis may be asking ... it's the text of an opera.

Louis C.K. just called off 4 shows at the Houston Improv and is offering refunds to everyone who bought tickets ... or they can wait for him to reschedule.

TMZ's learned the comedian postponed the gigs -- starting tonight and going through Sunday -- due to an "unforeseen family emergency." Those who were planning on attending have been informed they can keep their tickets and exchange them for the rescheduled dates in May, or return them and get their money back.

According to the email sent to ticket holders, anyone who bought tix to Louis' postponed shows will also score a free ticket to see the replacement act this weekend -- comedian Joe Machi. Even those who chose to get a refund can take advantage of this offer.

It's unclear what family emergency C.K. is dealing with.

As we've reported ... Louis has been back on the stand-up circuit for the past several months, making a comeback of sorts after admitting in November 2017 to years of sexual misconduct and abusing his power in the comedy world.

His return has been met with a mix of criticism and support, but one thing he hasn't stopped doing is offending people.

"The Bachelor" is guilty of a huge fashion faux pas -- or a digital one, anyway -- sloppily covering up bikini bottoms with what looks like Sharpies. Really. It's comical.

If ya missed it ... Monday's episode took Bachelor Peter Weber and his dates to Costa Rica for, among other things, a bikini photo shoot. Problem was ... the girls were apparently dressed too risque for someone -- either 'Bachelor' or ABC honchos. So, as they say, they fixed it in post-production ... by, literally, drawing more material onto their bikinis to cover the butt cheeks!!!

You really gotta see how bad it is to believe it.

When Peter and Sydney took off to a hot tub for a one-on-one date, the cover-up job makes it look like her bikini is 2 sizes too big.

During Lexi's time at a waterfall with Peter, her blue bottom looked ... just off.

The botched editing didn't go unnoticed ... with one hawk-eyed fan calling Victoria F's red bottom a terrible MS Paint job. Then there was Victoria P ... whose yellow bikini was made to look like she had a flap on her backside.

At least with Kelley's, bikini-print bottom editors decided to use the same print and color for the alteration ... but, again, it made it look like she was straight-up wearing an adult diaper. Depends on your perspective.

As for who screwed the pooch -- we've reached out to 'Bachelor' reps. No word back, but seems like a lock no one in post is getting a rose this week.

STOP THE PARADE .... Patrick Mahomes has to pee!!!!

The Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl parade came to a screeching halt on Wednesday so the MVP could take an MVPee.

Check out the footage of the special security task force assigned to cover Mahomes at all times ... even during his potty break. PROTECT MAHOMES AT ALL TIMES!!

After the leak, Mahomes raced out of the porta-potty and high fived a bunch of the fans lined up along the parade route ... hoping, praying, guessing he washed his hands first!

Was NBA star Aaron Gordon baked out of his mind when he appeared on the "Inside the NBA" pregame show???

Judging by the video of Shaquille O'Neal making a bunch of "high" jokes at Aaron's expense ... it sure seems the Big Diesel thinks so.

Here's the deal ... Gordon appeared on the show Tuesday night via satellite ... but something seemed a little off.

Shaq took notice and started making jokes about how "high" Gordon and Zach LaVine jumped during the Dunk Contest in 2016 ... and kept hammering the point.

"They were so high ... I was like 'Damn, these boys are high!' Man, these boys are getting HIGH as hell!"

The jokes continued ... cohost Adam Lefkoe ended the segment by advising Gordon to go out there and keep "smoking the competition."

This is kinda cool ... Lindsay Lohan is sending good vibes to a group of high school students acting out one of her biggest movies, and she has a special message for the kids!!!

Here's the deal ... the theater club at Southampton High School on Long Island is performing a theatrical version of Lindsay's version of "Freaky Friday," which she starred in back in 2003 alongside Jamie Lee Curtis.

Lindsay's dad, Michael, lives on Long Island ... saw a flyer for the production, and sent a pic of it to Linds, who's in Dubai. She's clearly tickled, and recorded this sweet video to inspire the cast before opening night.

Quick refresher on the plot ... a mom and her daughter switch bodies after opening a mysterious and magical fortune cookie.

Lindsay's definitely stoked to see the film come back to life in a high school theater, and we're guessing the kids will gonna love this special shout-out from her.

Here's awesome video of lifelong Eagles fan Kevin Hart getting a game-worn, autographed jersey from one of the best players in franchise history ... and rightfully freaking out!!

Donovan McNabb came bearing gifts when he met with the comedian during Super Bowl week ... hooking Hart up with what will end up being one of his most prized possessions.

McNabb was a guest on Hart's "Laugh Out Loud" Radio show in Miami .. and told the movie star he had a little something for him ... and the dude's eyes LIT UP.

"It says 'official,' bitch!!" Kevin yells when he realizes the jersey is game-worn. "Look at this! An official f**king jersey!"

Remember ... Hart is from Philly and he's a HUUUUGE Eagles fan. In fact, he was front and center during the Super Bowl victory celebrations when the Eagles won it all in 2018 ... and even tried getting on stage with the players during the trophy presentation, but was rejected by security.

Kev's reaction is absolutely priceless ... and McNabb jokes that the jersey might be a bit too big for the smaller Hart.

Dozens of fans were chanting it ... "BIG D*CK RICK" ... but was Rickie Fowler distracted???

Hell no!!! In fact, the golfer loved it so much he egged on the crowd and then sank his putt!

It all went down Saturday at the famous No. 16 hole at the Waste Management Phoenix Open in Scottsdale, Ariz. ... where Rickie took the tee box to a HUGE applause.

At some point, after Rickie stuffed his iron shot just a few yards from the hole, though ... the clapping turned to chanting, with fans yelling "Big D*ck Rick" at the 31-year-old.

But, instead of telling them to quiet down over his putt ... Fowler stepped off his ball and waved on the crowd ... and when he sank the ensuing shot, everyone went wild!!!

Rickie's had a lot of fun with the nickname over the past few years ... especially at the Waste Management Open, where fans constantly chant it at him.

In fact, he even made a great dong pun to reporters over the nickname at last year's tournament, saying, "It's been going on for a few years now. It's really growing -- the name, I mean."

Brad Pitt's string of hilarious acceptance speeches rolled on across the pond for the BAFTA Awards where he brought up Prince Harry and Megxit ... in front of Prince William.

BP didn't make it to the ceremony Sunday night in London, so his costar, Margot Robbie, accepted his BAFTA (it's like the British Oscars) for Best Supporting Actor, and read the speech he'd written.

Margot said, speaking as Brad, "I'm gonna name this Harry, 'cause (Brad) is really excited about bringing it back to the States with him. His words, not mine. Thanks!"

The line killed ... most people seemed to laugh, and then the camera cut to Prince William and Kate Middleton in the front row. They clapped and smiled, appropriately, but watch ... they clearly knew they were on camera. BTW, Will is the President of BAFTA ... so it's kinda his show.

Of course, it's no surprise Brad went for a timely punchline in front of an audience. He's been on a comedy tour of sorts these past few weeks, joking about his single status.

Looks like that material got a bit stale, and he tried something new and decidedly British.

Chance The Rapper is featured in the first-ever TV commercial for Quibi -- a revolutionary new mobile platform -- and the funny spot is hitting the airwaves during the Super Bowl.

The commercial depicts a bank heist gone wrong, leaving the robbers with just 4 to 10 minutes to spare ... which just so happens to be the perfect amount of time to watch a Quibi.

As you can see ... the bank robbers pause mid-heist to check out Chance's revival of "Punk'd" on Quibi.

BTW ... Quibi is short for "quick bites" ... and the first-ever entertainment platform designed specifically for phones delivers episodes and movie-quality shows in 10 minutes or less.

Quibi's launching April 6, with original content from huge celebs like Jennifer Lopez, Liam Hemsworth, Zac Efron, Idris Elba, Kendall Jenner, 50 Cent, Steph Curry, Chrissy Teigen and Kristen Bell ... plus our own celebrity show with a TMZ edge.

Here's Jason Momoa like you've never seen him before ... plucking his eyebrows and reading a young adult romance novel while soaking in a bubble bath.

If that sounds like the makings of a Super Bowl commercial, then someone on Madison Ave nailed it. Aquaman got downright comfy for his Rocket Mortgage spot. He's been teasing it all week ... posting snippets, but Friday morning he gave us the full Monty.

Chill. We meant that metaphorically.

You can see Jason brushing his hair, practicing his baritone movie trailer voice, and talking to his dog in a baby voice -- all while wearing, for some reason, TWO bathrobes or just bubbles.

The 60-second ad will reportedly air during the first half of the game. The theme is something about feeling comfortable in your own home, but do you really give a crap?

It's Momoa in a tub. End of story.

Jason will get plenty of celeb competition on Super Sunday. Chris Evans, John Krasinski, Rachel Dratch and David Ortiz are all costarring in one car company's commercial.

That one's Boston themed, but again ... who cares??

Elon Musk really can do it all -- he'll be the first to tell you -- including write and perform his very own EDM song ... that's fittingly all about self-confidence.

The Tesla CEO -- who's going by E "D" M on Twitter these days -- has apparently been working hard in the studio on his new track, which is titled "Don't Doubt ur Vibe."

Musk dropped it on Soundcloud late Thursday night on his Emo G Records stream, saying ... "I wrote the lyrics & performed the vocals!!" Those lyrics consist of the title followed by "because it's true" ... which is alternated with, "because it's you," and repeated.

Genius.

The making of Elon's 4-minute EDM song must have been quite the journey, because when he first mentioned it on Twitter Thursday he said, "Just wrote a song called “Don’t doubt yer vibe" ... with a different spelling of "ur." He also stated, "this song is hard."

Finally, to make things as Musky as possible ... the Soundcloud artwork features his Cybertruck.

As you may recall ... the tech honcho also released a rap song on Soundcloud back in March -- a goofy autotune track about Harambe and Bombay gin.

Clearly, he's kicking things up a notch higher.

Here's what former President Bill Clinton won't be watching this weekend -- unless, of course, he's in the mood to laugh about his alleged ties to pedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Yeah, we don't think so either.

Bill and Hillary will be featured on "Our Cartoon President" in a scene that has him hysterically crying over Epstein's death, 5 months after the fact. Even after Hillary begs, "Get a hold of yourself" ... he's still bawling about his pal being in heaven.

THAT concept alone is hilarious.

But, watch how the ex-First couple's emotional moment gets interrupted ... by Sen. Elizabeth Warren, who's looking for some campaign advice. Bonus laughs!!! The episode airs Sunday night on Showtime.

Tom Brady is congratulating Eli Manning on his 16-year NFL career ... by wishing the N.Y. Giants quarterback NEVER won a Super Bowl!!!

Of course, Manning's 2 rings came at the expense of Brady's Patriots in dramatic fashion -- remember David Tyree?? Mario Manningham?? Yeah. Still hurts for New England fans.

Now that Eli is calling it a career, Brady gave his old foe a congratulatory tweet ... and threw in a friendly jab.

"Congratulations on your retirement, and a great career Eli! Not going to lie though, I wish you hadn’t won any Super Bowls."

Haaaa ... good one, TB12. Although, can you imagine if Manning DIDN'T win those 2 Super Bowls?? Brady would have 8 freakin' rings.

Manning is having a press conference to officially hang it up on Friday ... so that's one less QB Brady has to worry about.

Young Thug knows how to motivate the guys in his crew -- offer up a fat stack of cash ... and watch 'em go!

The "Hot" rapper was clowning around with his boys Thursday evening outside the Sunset Marquis in West Hollywood when things turned into a fitness challenge ... as they often do.

Thug bet one of his pals he couldn't run up and down the street -- which is on a fairly steep hill -- and pulled out his money to show him what was at stake.

The guy accepted the challenge, and despite getting roasted for his running form -- or lack thereof -- Young Thug ponied up the dough. However, he made sure to rub it in by running the hill himself ... without all the huffing and puffing.

What makes Thug's running even funnier is the fact he's rocking super-skinny jeans

BTW, he's got a show Friday night at Avenue LA. No word if he's jogging to it.