Humor

Wanna see grown-ass college football players cower in fear over a harmless Halloween prank??

Good ... 'cause University of Pittsburgh football staffers scared the crap out of their team with a fake mannequin -- and the video of the players' reactions is HILARIOUS!!

The team's assistant director of player personnel, Karlo Zovko, pretended he was a dummy wearing a Pitt uniform ... and when guys walked by, he pounced.

Ya gotta watch the video ... some of the players hit the deck, some screamed out in fear -- and one of the dudes even threatened to punch Zovko in the face!!!

Pitt head coach Pat Narduzzi clearly loved watching it all ... he tweeted out the vid, writing, "Halloween Night, don't get tricked! Hail to Pitt!"

Kim Kardashian is an Ivy League-caliber lawyer, at least for Halloween ... because she's recreating Reese Witherspoon's famous scene from "Legally Blonde."

Kim's going as Elle Woods for Halloween this year, and she's going all-out with a spot-on costume AND a carbon copy of the video essay Elle put together to gain admittance to Harvard Law School.

It's the perfect costume for Kim. As you know, she's setting her sights on becoming a lawyer, just like Reese's character in the super-popular romantic comedy.

Ya gotta see the video, Kim's pulling out all the stops to follow in Elle's footsteps ... with a couple wardrobe changes, some movie extras, multiple sets and some high-quality production value.

Gotta admire Kim's Halloween spirit!!!

For those unfamiliar with "Legally Blonde" ... Reese plays a sorority queen with an eye for fashion who wants to win back her ex-boyfriend by getting a law degree from Harvard.

And, unlike Blac Chyna, Kim's only pretending to apply to Harvard ... not posting fake acceptance letters.

"One great thing about being old and rich is you can do what you want to do!"

That's Arsenio Hall telling "TMZ Live" why money is making him an even BETTER comic -- because he can do all the risky material he wants without the fear of getting choked out financially.

Long story short ... Hall says he spent years playing it safe because if he pushed the envelope and rubbed people the wrong way, he'd jeopardize his cash flow ... and when you're poor, EVERY DOLLAR COUNTS!!!

But, now that he's rich .... like super rich ... Hall ain't worried anymore -- saying he can say how he truly feels, no matter who he offends, because he can afford to take a hit!

"Comics are supposed to push the envelope and stretch that edge as far as you can," Hall says ... "That’s what creates great comedy. The great ones like Richard Pryor didn’t allow censors and critics stop him from doing what was in his heart."

Hall -- who's got a brand new Netflix special -- admits he needed to conform back in the day when he needed to buy a house and pay for school for his kids ... but he's paper'd up now.

"I’m kind of free!"

By the way, Hall also gave some inside info on the new "Coming to America" sequel -- and even throws out a spoiler to Nicole Murphy, whose daughter is in the flick!!

Great news ... Randy Couture is doing REALLY WELL after suffering a heart attack on Wednesday -- and he's already cracking jokes!!!

"Contrary to recent rumors I have not kicked the bucket yet. I am alive and well," the 56-year-old UFC Hall of Famer said in a statement to TMZ Sports.

"Special thanks to the amazing staff at Cedars Sinai Hospital. From the ER to cardiac ICU thanks for taking care of me."

"I’m one of those people that has crazy thick blood and nominally high bad cholesterol. Unfortunately, those 2 factors combined to create a nice clot occluding my Diagonal artery."

Couture continued, "The Cath lab at Cedars got right on it, cleared it out and placed a stint in its place."

Couture is thanking his fans for the love and support -- and dropped these words of wisdom -- "Live your lives to the fullest. You never know when you’ll draw that last breath in!"

As for Randy's health, his rep tells TMZ Sports ... the UFC legend had emergency surgery after being admitted to the hospital.

Here's the whole story ...

"During a workout at Randy’s LA training home Unbreakable Performance in West Hollywood, CA, Randy experienced discomfort in what he initially thought was an offset rib or vertebrae."

"He tried working on a roller to relieve the problem -- but that was not successful.  Incredibly, Randy finished the entire workout while likely having the beginnings of a heart attack. Shortly thereafter, he drove home and attempted to rest. When the radiating chest pain did not cease, he recognized something was wrong."

"He proceeded to walk multiple blocks to a nearby emergency room rather than battle Los Angeles traffic. Upon his arrival, after an EKG, the medical staff informed Randy he had a heart attack, and would require immediate surgery to resolve the issue."

Rest in peace, turnover chains ... SMU just changed the sideline celebration game forever -- straight-up poppin' bottles on their bench after a huge play Thursday night!!!

The Mustangs were taking on the Houston Cougars in a conference matchup ... when in the second quarter, SMU recovered a fumble that swung momentum in the game.

To celebrate, the 'Stangs didn't turn to jewelry or a backpack -- instead, they went for the VIP scene ... reenacting bottle service at a club!!!

The clip is hilarious ... several players hold up signs reading "It's A Party," "SMU" and "Takeaway" -- all while one dude grabs a fake bottle of bubbly.

The funniest part? The bottle explodes on command -- dumping confetti all over his teammates!!!

The rest of the game wasn't quite as fun for SMU ... they won, but they had to sweat it out -- barely beating the Cougars, 34-31.

Kylie Jenner's viral "rise and shine" moment had an even bigger impact than you might've seen on Twitter or Instagram ... it hit a 10-figure benchmark on another platform.

Sources at the video creation app, TikTok, tell us the hashtag #RiseandShine hit a billion views this week ... just days after Kylie's mom-voice singing for baby Stormi went viral and took over the Internet.

That's not to say her OG clip was viewed a billion times on TikTok. There have been countless recreations of the moment, but that's how many times people have watched #RiseandShine related content.

Yes, that's TikTok's fastest-growing trend. Here's the breakdown on Kylie's stats.

On October 16 -- the day Kylie posted her melodic voice -- #RiseandShine hit 4 million views in one day. One day later it skyrocketed to 70 million views ... and by Sunday night, we're told #RiseandShine hit the billion mark.

We know Kylie and some other Kardashians have deals in place with certain social media platforms -- but she does NOT have one with TikTok.

Bob Zmuda -- one of Andy Kaufman's longtime collaborators -- got busted for a DUI this week ... and while it's no laughing matter, he seemed to crack a smile for his booking photo.

Online records show Zmuda was arrested this past Wednesday for misdemeanor DUI at around 12:45 AM while driving through South Lake Tahoe. He was taken to the El Dorado County Jail and posed for this quirky mug shot before being released on $5,000 bail.

It's unclear what exactly led up to Zmuda's arrest, but what is clear ... the dude definitely got hauled in by cops, and this ain't no hoax.

Only reason we mention that is because Bobby pushed a theory in a book he wrote back in 2014 that Andy had, in fact, faked his own death as the ultimate prank ... and that he'd supposedly reveal himself to the public again some 30 years afterward.

Of course, Kaufman did die -- he passed away from cancer in 1984, proven by his death certificate -- and has yet to return as predicted by Zmuda.

Zmuda was basically Kaufman's partner in crime back in the day, and often portrayed a character created by Kaufman named Tony Clifton, a bumbling lounge singer. Zmuda famously acted as Clifton on an episode of 'Letterman,' and supposedly fooled the host into believing it was actually Kaufman. Per Zmuda, DL only found out the truth years later.

Savage burn from NHL superstar Mat Barzal on Thursday night ... 'cause after he took a hockey stick to the face TWICE -- he said his lips looked like Kylie Jenner's now!!!

The New York Islanders center was popped in the mouth a few times by a high stick in his game against the Winnipeg Jets ... and when he was interviewed about his swollen face at intermission, things took a hilarious turn.

"I feel like Kylie Jenner right now," 22-year-old Barzal said with a laugh ... "But, two high sticks there, it's unfortunate. That's hockey."

Of course, Kylie's fake lips are perhaps more famous than the entire league Barzal plays in ... but still -- BUUUURNNN!!!!

In case you care, Mat fought through the pain to dominate the Jets ... scoring two goals in the Islanders' 3-1 win.

As for his face ... we're pretty sure he's going to be just fine -- but he might not look so hot for a few days.

Maybe a KJ Lip Kit can help???

Kurt Sutter -- the showrunner and co-creator of "Mayans M.C." and "Sons of Anarchy" -- is out at FX, and he says it's all because word around the studio is he's an "abrasive dick." His words.

Kurt wrote a letter to his 'Mayans' cast explaining why he'd been axed and said, "At least being fired for being an abrasive dick is on brand." Kurt added he got canned because of a bunch of complaints against him.

After ripping FX and Disney in the letter, first posted by The Hollywood Reporter, Kurt apologized for making folks on the show feel unsupported, saying his "arrogance and chronic distraction has created wreckage."

'Mayans' is currently airing its second season ... and Kurt says he's sure the show is in good hands moving forward. However, a decision on a potential third season has reportedly not been finalized.

It's kinda funny, Kurt says his firing is a win-win -- for the people who wanted him gone, and for those who didn't.

Hilarious moment on the links Wednesday ... Tony Romo was scared crapless by a fake snake -- and it was all because of a prank played on him by ex-NBA star Deron Williams!

Romo -- a near-scratch golfer when he's not broadcasting NFL games -- was out at Maridoe Golf Club in Texas with Williams when Deron decided to have some fun.

The former Utah Jazz superstar laid down a rubber snake by Romo's golf cart ... and fired up his phone's camera.

What happened next was hilarious ... Romo initially walked by it without seeing it, but when he got out of his cart and finally noticed it -- HE ALMOST JUMPED OUT HIS SHOES!!

Once the QB realized he'd been pranked, he smirked and said, "That son of a bitch!" -- while Williams laughed his ass off!!!

"I’m sorry @tony.romo I had to do it!!!" Williams said of the joke. "All this proves is if they put u back there for a few snaps u could shake off them ankle tackles."

Williams plays this trick all the time while he's out on the golf course ... and it's laugh out loud hilarious EVERY TIME!!!

Panera Bread got burned by one of its own, according to a former employee who says she got canned for posting a Tik Tok of the restaurant's mac and cheese ... in all its frozen glory.

The video was posted last week and showed someone place a plastic pouch of frozen (😢) mac and cheese in boiling water, remove it and then pour it into a bowl to be served.

Some Panera customers teed off on the clip ... leaving pissed off comments about the chain not dishing freshly cooked fare. Others were more realistic and chalked it up to being standard ops for a fast-food chain.

The Catholic Church has blessed the New Orleans Saints ... or so it would seem by what the pontiff himself wrote hours before their game this weekend.

Pope Francis tweeted out a strange message in the wee hours of Sunday, which appeared to be a vote of confidence for Teddy Bridgewater and co. as they were set to face the Jaguars in Jacksonville. It was actually an honest mistake ... but a hilarious one nonetheless.

The big hatted one wrote, "Today we give thanks to the Lord for our new #Saints. They walked by faith and now we invoke their intercession."

David Oyelowo says Charlize Theron's not shy about using colorful language, and if ya don't believe him ... check out this video. She proves his point, and then some.

The actors -- who costarred in the movie "Gringo" -- were participating in a Q&A this week at a Bev Hills charity gala for The GEANCO Foundation. When Oyelowo was asked about his first encounter with Theron, the crowd got a jaw-dropping tale ... about anuses.

He warned the audience it probably wasn't appropriate -- especially with his family in attendance -- but Charlize had no qualms ... and dropped a crack about bleaching your crack.

Joaquin Phoenix is getting huge Oscar buzz for "Joker," but the movie's big opening weekend has some folks thinking about polishing a different kinda hardware.

For some reason, certain enthusiastic "Joker" fans decided to search for related content in the porn world. According to the good folks at Pornhub, they got a massive spike in such searches over the weekend ... just as director Todd Phillips' dark take on the Batman villain was breaking box office records.

According to Pornhub's metrics -- yes, they're tracking your fantasies -- there were more than 741,000 searches involving the word "joker" in the first 4 days following the film's release.

The biggest surge came Sunday when Pornhub saw 291,628 searches for a clown getting down.

Pornhub honchos tell us they've seen similar trends with comic book movies. For instance, when "Suicide Squad" dropped in 2016, it wasn't Jared Leto's version of the Joker that lit up adult film searches ... it was Joker's GF, Harley Quinn.

Justin Bieber's firing off a new jab in his feud with Taylor Swift, mimicking that post-surgical banana video of her that went viral -- and while it is kinda funny, we're sure Taylor ain't laughing.

Justin and the missus, Hailey Bieber, were live on IG from their kitchen Sunday when the Biebs decided to poke fun at Taylor, loudly whining ... "It's not the banana that I wanted!!!"

Hailey laughed out loud, and we're guessing most of Hailey's 22 million followers also chuckled -- but it's odd he made any reference to the Taylor vid, considering Taylor publicly accused Bieber and his manager, Scooter Braun, of bullying her.

WWE Hall of Famer Mark Henry is now the world's strongest stand-up comedian ... and he's got a surefire way to keep his shows heckler-free -- THREATEN TO WHOOP THEIR ASSES!!!

TMZ Sports spoke with the strongman-turned-wrestler about kickstarting his comedy career ... and he says it's not that much different from beating up big, buff dudes for a living!!!

"Wrestling is just an extension of entertainment, so is comedy," Henry says. "You gotta be able to enjoy it and take it for what it is."