Humor

The leaks coming from the White House are now crossing into the animal kingdom ... because a mouse fell out of a ceiling, sending reporters into a frenzy!!!

The wild scene went down Tuesday morning at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, when a mouse plunged through the ceiling in the press booth and landed in a journo's lap.

Members of the media were obviously shocked by the rodent's rude entrance, with reporters scurrying out of their seats.

A mouse hunt ensued ... and video shows the furry critter darting behind tables and equipment, eluding capture. One reporter even busted out a broom, but the mouse got away.

By all accounts, the mouse is still on the loose after escaping the office area ... and it was last seen running wild in the White House press briefing room.

Marlon Wayans is going back under a legal microscope for comparing a man to the "Family Guy" character Cleveland Brown a few years back ... and he ain't happy about it.

We ran into the comedian and actor Monday at LAX, where we got his thoughts on a potentially momentous decision by the CA Supreme Court to reexamine a lower court's 2015 ruling that he did NOT do anything wrong with the viral burn.

You'll recall ... while filming for the movie, "A Haunted House 2," Marlon tweeted that Pierre Daniel -- an extra in the flick -- looked like a dead ringer for Cleveland.

Pierre sued Marlon and the production company for the move shortly thereafter, claiming that not only had Marlon racially harassed him with the tweet ... but he also allegedly made a habit of roasting him on the set, which he says caused him great harm.

At the time, a judge said that Pierre did, in fact, look like Cleveland ... and, more importantly, that Marlon's antics were protected free speech. An appellate court upheld that ruling in 2017, saying Marlon's tweet was kosher if that was his creative process as a comic.

Think Nelson Agholor has bitterness toward a Philadelphia hero who clowned him after saving babies from a fire???

HELL NO ... the Eagles wide receiver is straight-up impressed -- and wants the dude to get VIP treatment at a Philly game soon!!!

Here's the deal if ya missed it ... Hakim Laws heroically helped kids flee from a burning building over the weekend, and afterward, he shaded the hell out of Agholor.

"I see a guy hanging out the window screaming that his kids were in there,” Laws told CBS 3 in Philly.

"My man just started throwing babies out ... and we was catching them, unlike Agholor and all his mishaps."

Of course, Nelson's had the dropsies for the Eagles in the past two weeks ... he blew the chance at a game-winning TD pass vs. the Falcons in Week 2 and had a few more mistakes in a loss to the Lions on Sunday.

But, Agholor took Laws' shade in stride ... and asked Twitter to help him find the guy, saying, "Thank you for being a hero in the community, would like to invite you and your family to the next home game."

AWESOME!!!

A Philadelphia man heroically saved a bunch of children from a burning building on Sunday ... and used his 15 minutes of fame to hilariously roast the hell outta Eagles receiver Nelson Agholor.

The man -- Hakim Laws -- says he was walking down the street in West Philly around 2 AM when he noticed flames coming out of a 2nd story apartment building window ... and sprang into action.

“I see a guy hanging out the window screaming that his kids were in there,” Laws told CBS 3 in Philly.

But, what the dude said after that has to be considered an all-time best local sports news quote ... with Laws taking a huge shot at the Philly WR when explaining his heroic actions.

“My man just started throwing babies out ... and we was catching them, unlike Agholor and all his mishaps.”

DAMN.

Of course, the man is referring to Agholor dropping a Week 2 TD as well as dropping a major 3rd-down pass and coughing up a fumble in Sunday's loss to the Lions (he did catch 2 TDs, though) ... and the dude ain't over it even after saving lives.

Parachuters at the Leagues Cup final on Wednesday night caused a MASSIVE freak-out in Las Vegas ... 'cause people legitimately thought they were aliens!!!

Before Cruz Azul and Tigres UANL faced off for the championship at Sam Boyd Stadium ... members of the U.S. Navy Parachute Team flew down from the sky with pyrotechnics strapped to them.

The problem? Not all Vegas residents knew their plan ... and when they saw the jumpers in the sky -- they thought Mars was attacking!!!

People were freaking out on Twitter for hours ... until UNLV officials confirmed there were no aliens -- just awesome parachuters.

When all the chaos in the sky finally settled down ... there was a pretty good game on the  pitch -- Cruz Azul beat the Tigres, 2-1, to win the Leagues Cup trophy.

By the way, the Leagues Cup is a new tourney that pits the MLS' best against Liga MX's best ... and people were fired up over the match.

Just when Robert Kraft thought everyone had finally moved past his whole Asian massage parlor thing ... Robert De Niro put it right back in the spotlight with a joke at the Alec Baldwin 'Roast!'

De Niro was pretty funny at the Comedy Central event and closed with a zinger at Kraft's expense.

"Like Robert Kraft at a massage parlor, I want my Roast to have a happy ending," he told Baldwin before wrapping it up.

The crowd laughed. So did Baldwin. Guessing Mr. Kraft didn't find it so funny.

Other highlights from the 'Roast' ... De Niro threw a few jokes Caitlyn Jenner's way -- including this gem:

"Caitlyn Jenner. Now there's something different about you but I can't put my finger in it!"

Caitlyn shot back, "Yes, you can!!!" Good times ...

De Niro also went after Donald Trump ... telling the room:

"This is like that Moscow hotel room where a bunch of wh*res p*ssed all over Donald Trump."

There was more ... Jeff Ross killed. Blake Griffin was pretty great. Caroline Rhea was solid. And, Caitlyn Jenner brought the heat when it was her turn to roast.

Artie Lange is more than 7 months sober and looking happy and healthy, and interestingly ... he says his messed up nose is partly to thank for keeping him clean.

The comedian and "Crashing" star tells TMZ ... he likes his pancaked nose because it's a helpful reminder of 30 years of drug abuse and all the terrible places it led him. Seriously terrible -- like accidentally snorting glass -- and much more Artie's not afraid to share.

Of course, this January mug shot following his arrest for a failed drug test while on probation painted the sad picture of how low he'd sunk.

Artie says he wants his story -- and his nose -- to be a cautionary tale for young people to not follow his path, and that fame and fortune don't make you immune to the perils of addiction.

Lange admits it got so bad for him he accepted he was going to die alone in a hotel room and become another victim of drug abuse like some of his comedian buddies before him. Fortunately, Artie says God had another plan for him.

He's in recovery now, and shared a photo of himself on Twitter this week at the 7.5-month sober mark. He tells us staying focused on comedy and writing is helping him stay clean ... along with sticking to the 12-step program and going to meetings.

As for his gnarly nose ... Artie tells us he caught wind of our interview with "Botched" Dr. Paul Nassif while he was in jail, when the Doc said he'd fix Lange's nose if he could kick his drug habit.

"Saban just, like, he likes to do a lot of, like, deez nuts jokes."

That's Josh Jacobs -- former Alabama superstar and current Oakland Raiders starting RB -- dropping the biggest bombshell about Nick Saban ever ... and we can't stop laughing!!!

Jacobs appeared on "The Dan Patrick Show" on Friday ... and when DP asked Josh for his favorite story of Bama's head man -- Jacobs didn't hold back, saying the guy LOVES the toilet bowl humor!!!

"It's funny because I hadn't heard one of them since middle school," Jacobs says of the "deez nuts" jokes. "And then Saban, when I went to college, Saban used to do it a lot."

Jacobs then proceeded to tell the funniest Saban story you'll ever hear ...

"Alright, so one day, I caught like five passes in a row, and he was like, 'Hey, hey, Josh. If you want to hold all the balls, hold deez.'"

"I was like, 'What, coach?' So I just sat there for second and I was like, did he really just say that to me?!"

That's right, 67-year-old Saban -- winner of 6 national championships -- is clowning all his players on a regular basis with one of the most childish jokes ever.

Michael Blackson ain't impressed with Kobe Bryant's dance moves ... telling TMZ Sports he moves like "Michael Jackson with a concussion."

We know, not exactly politically correct ... but we still laughed.

Of course, Kobe posted footage of himself when he was 12 years old, bustin' some old school moves to "Ice Ice Baby" at a school dance performance. The point was to show people Kobe had other interests outside of basketball.

Earlier this week, Kobe came under fire for comments he made about a girl on his daughter's youth basketball team who chose a dance recital over a basketball game. People accused Kobe of shaming the child, but the NBA legend insists he was telling a story about commitment.

Either way, Blackson wasn't impressed with Mamba's dance moves ... and fired off a few zingers outside Argyle in L.A.

Paul Mooney's sons are speaking out for their father -- whom they claim is "not well" enough to do so himself -- against allegations regarding Richard Pryor's own son.

Daryl and Dwayne Mooney -- who also do stand-up -- spoke to Comedy Hype about Richard's former bodyguard, Rashon Kahn, claiming Paul had sex with Richard Jr. ... and that Senior put a million dollar bounty on Paul after finding out.

They deny the allegations flat-out and say that whatever Rashon's peddling in 2019 is nothing but gossip and hearsay. They emphasize the fact Richard Jr. himself has yet to say Paul's name.

If Richard Jr. does come out and accuse Paul by name -- which he didn't do with us in NYC a few weeks ago -- Paul's sons say they'd hear him out, and deal with the allegation accordingly. But, to hear it from a bodyguard years later ... they call BS.

Daryl and Dwayne also discuss why Paul was a no-show at a recently booked appearance at a comedy club in Atlanta, and explain their father has lost some of his mental faculties.

"On behalf of the entire NBA and half of the rappers on the Billboard charts, I want to thank you for giving your daughters their daddy issues!"

That's NBA superstar Blake Griffin giving it to Caitlyn Jenner at the Comedy Central "Roast of Alec Baldwin" -- proving absolutely nothing is off limits ... and it's all hilarious!

Blake and Caitlyn were on the dais for the show (which airs Sept. 15) -- and it's customary for roasters to go after each other in addition to burning the guest of honor.

What's interesting about this situation ... Blake famously dated Caitlyn's daughter, Kendall Jenner, beginning back in 2017 -- so it's not like the NBA star was going after a stranger.

Comedy Central only released a snippet of Blake's set -- but so far, so good.

Here's another joke ...

"Caitlyn completed her gender reassignment in 2017 ... finally confirming that no one in that family wants a white d*ck."

Michael Blackson is all warmed up for what he says will be the high point of his career -- working on-camera with Eddie Murphy -- and says the "Coming to America" sequel already paired him with another legend.

MB was on Melrose Ave. Sunday when the TMZ Celebrity Tour saw him running errands ... in his Rolls-Royce, mind you. The superstar comedian recently returned from the "Coming to America 2" set in Atlanta, and he told us all about shooting scenes with Wesley Snipes.

Sorry, we gotta say it ... "Always bet on black(son)!"

Anyway, Michael says he's heading back to ATL in a couple weeks for the main event ... his scenes with Eddie. Just to give you an idea why Michael says it will be "the pinnacle" of his showbiz life -- we asked what's his favorite movie of all time.

Watch his response ... of course, it's one of Eddie's classics, which he rates higher than even "Scarface." Sorry, Al Pacino, Blackson's all about the laughs.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg says Jennifer Lopez asked her an interesting question ... what's the secret to a happy marriage??? Well, RBG had an answer.

The Supreme Court Justice shared the sweet story Saturday at the 2019 Library of Congress National Book Festival in D.C., where she was onstage being asked questions by a moderator. Justice Ginsburg says J Lo hit her up about a month ago, seemingly out of nowhere, to say she wanted to meet, and that she wanted RBG to meet A-Rod.

Well, that's exactly what happened. J Lo and A-Rod went to RBG's chambers -- presumably in D.C. -- and had a face-to-face, which the Justice described as a very nice visit.

Then, according to Ginsburg, Jennifer asked for the key to a long and healthy marriage. Remember, J Lo and A-Rod are recently engaged ... so they're set to wed any day now.

As it turns out, Ruth knew exactly what to say ... and it sounds like she imparted that onto the soon-to-be-married couple.

RBG says that on her wedding day, her mother-in-law took her aside and wanted to tell the secret to a happy marriage ... saying, per RBG, "It helps, sometimes, to be a little deaf." Who knew?!! It's as simple as that.

Justice Ginsburg was happily married to her husband, Marty Ginsburg, for over 50 years before he passed away in 2010 from cancer. They had two children together, Jane and James.

Here's hoping J Lo and A-Rod heed her advice. If anyone would know how to keep it together, it'd be RBG.

Eddie Griffin's got beef with a famous NJ comedy club, because for him ... rule number one when booking black comedians in your club is make sure you can LIGHT said black comedians!!!

Eddie was onstage Friday night at the Stress Factory in New Brunswick when he said enough is enough ... and ripped into management for what he considered inferior lighting and sound.

This clip is from his 9:45 PM headlining show, but witnesses tell us he'd stormed out earlier ... immediately after his 7:00 PM gig. We're told he was angry about some technical malfunctions during the set -- so when he came back for the second show he couldn't hold back.

The good news for the crowd is he turned it into big laughs ... even if they couldn't see him.

Now, we don't know the club's side of the story yet ... we've reached out to management. Eddie definitely put 'em on notice during his act -- which included him pretending to call in the Nation of Islam to help the club find skin-appropriate lighting.

You've heard about the Stress Factory -- even if you're not in Jersey -- because this is where Pete Davidson blasted a customer for heckling him about Ariana Grande and Kate Beckinsale.

It's also where Margaret Cho pissed off the crowd by going off about white people ... and rape.

Come for the laughs ... stay for the anger???

Paul Mooney isn't leaping at the opportunity to show his face in public after being accused of misconduct with Richard Pryor Jr. -- the comic just pulled out of a show -- and we're told he'll be taking the next few weeks off.

Mooney was set to take the stage Wednesday in Atlanta at the ATL Comedy Theater, where he was serving as the MC for the night in a long lineup of comedians. But, a sign outside the venue made it clear ... PM wasn't going to show.

The sign reads, "ATTENTION!! Paul Mooney is NOT on show tonight due to health reasons. We will transfer purchase to Faizon Love or Donnell Rawlings. Let box office know."

It's unclear what exactly that means, as neither Donnell or Faizon are booked to perform at the Comedy Theater anytime soon. Either way, sounds like refunds are a no-go.

A rep for Paul tells us the allegations recently made by Richard Pryor's former bodyguard have seriously stressed Mooney out ... and he needs to lay low for awhile. We're told he'll be canceling all of his scheduled appearances in the next few weeks until things simmer down.

As we reported ... Pryor's former security guard alleged that Mooney had had sex with Pryor Jr. when he was young, and that when Richard found out .... he wanted Paul dead.

RPJ appeared to address the situation himself when we ran into him in NYC this week. He didn't name Paul, but said he had been molested as a teen ... no further specifics.

Of course, Paul has vehemently denied the allegation ... saying there's no truth to it whatsoever. He says he and Richard remained friends for years.

Bernie Sanders hit a speed bag. The speed bag hit back!!!

The Presidential candidate hit up the Muhammad Ali Center in Louisville, Kentucky this week ... and decided to take a swing at one of the speed bags on display ... fun, right?!

Bernie threw a hard right and connected ... but the 77-year-old didn't realize the bag was going to swing back at his head -- and dude got ROCKED!!!

Sanders went flying backwards and both hands up in the air like Tyson Fury on the receiving end of a Deontay Wilder shot ... it didn't look good for the Senator from Vermont!!!

But, Bernie -- just like Fury -- regained his composure and got back into the fight ... throwing another couple of jabs before the video cuts off.

After the footage went public, his opponents began using it to attack Sanders -- with Donald Trump Jr. saying, "This wouldn’t exactly strike fear in the minds of our adversaries."

He added, "Imagine this guy sitting across the table negotiating with world leaders?"