Humor

Hayden Panettiere came oh so close to getting hitched a second time ... at least, that's the way her new boyfriend made it appear to some unsuspecting bar bystanders.

We obtained this video of Hayden's bf, Brian Hickerson, getting down on one knee ... and it's hilarious.

Brian and HP were hanging at Rock & Reilly's on the Sunset Strip recently when, according to witnesses, he shouted, "Everyone shut the F up! I'm about to propose to my girlfriend."

Sure enough, he assumed the position, and we're told everyone thought they were about to see one of those classic rom-com moments. Then it got weird. Check out the video ... Brian definitely proposed. Just to the wrong person. Hey, at least it was an actress, and Hayden cracked up.

Sources close to the couple tell us Hayden bet Brian he couldn't make her laugh in 10 seconds. Brian even produced a ring -- a paper one, but still. And yes, he won the bet.

When we last saw Brian out with Hayden -- "saving" her from swarming paparazzi -- he mocked the paps and kidded he was her "gay pool boy."

Kevin Hart is taking over a gym in Philly for Mountain Dew in what appears to be a new ad for the green pop ... and a peek behind the scenes looks promising for laughs.

TMZ has obtained footage of Kevin at a Philadelphia Sports Clubs gym early Sunday morning, where cameras were rolling as he got a lesson from an employee on how to work the front desk. From the looks of it here, Kev's got it all under control.

He hilariously gives a blow-by-blow of what he plans to be doing behind the desk -- "I'ma get back here, and I'm gonna help people!" -- while the gym worker gives him a quick rundown on how to check first and last names. Simple enough ... go dew you, "Daniel."

Hard to tell if this is part of a bigger ad campaign by MD, but it wouldn't be surprising if it is. Kevin's done plenty of TV spots for Mountain Dew in the past ... most were pretty funny.

This is a fun, alcohol-fueled Thanksgiving video.

Ken Jeong was clearly in the Holiday spirit at the Grand Hyatt hotel in Melbourne, Australia, yelling something about "Hangover 4." Really?

Ken's always super fun and did not disappoint fans who were thrilled to take selfies with the doctor-turned-movie star.

They asked him about the possibility of a new installment of the hit flick, and then asked if a spinoff of his character, Mr. Chow, might be possible.

Truth be told, whatever Ken says in the video ... don't necessarily take it to the bank ... but a hangover might be a reality today.

Ken performed a comedy set earlier Wednesday at Hamer Hall. He's coming back to the U.S. to continue his stand-up tour which will continue through the New Year.

Kevin Hart tells us he wouldn't touch the White House Correspondent's Dinner with a 10-foot pole ... not even if comedians are ever allowed back as hosts.

We got the funny man Wednesday afternoon at L.A. Mission where he was helping serve turkey dinners to those in need ... and asked him straight-up if he'd ever considered hosting the annual black-tie affair.

Check out the clip ... Kevin couldn't be more clear in his disdain for the current state of the dinner.

The banquet, held every April in the spirit of good will between POTUS and his press corps, is on a downswing with Donald Trump in office. He's skipped the event twice after labeling media an enemy of the people.

This year's host is historian/biographer Ron Chernow, and he's pretty much guaranteed to cause less of a stir than comedian Michelle Wolf, who hosted this past April and eviscerated Trump and other prominent members of his administration.

Michelle's jokes caused a ton of controversy and sparked loads of backlash ... and next year's dinner is the first since 2003 to not feature a comic.

Okay, so full disclosure here -- we don't get it. We're not really sure why a French Soccer star just made love to a chicken on his Instagram, but he did ... and we're about to show it to you.

The guy's name is Patrice Evra, and he's an international soccer superstar, who used to play with Manchester United, and now plays with West Ham United F.C.

Not long ago Evra took to his IG and, in full view of his over 5 million followers, made love to raw turkey. He kissed the turkey, he sucked the turkey, he even got a little rough with the turkey, smacking it.

Patrice is pretty infamous for posting bizarre stuff, but none have inspired anything close to the collective WTF that the entire internet is experiencing right now.

BTW -- Evra came back and admitted he's not aware of things like oh, SALMONELLA which, if he isn't lucky, he'll be intimately acquainted with soon.

Shania Twain is setting her piss record straight ... telling us she only sprung a leak once mid-concert.

We got the country queen Tuesday night in WeHo at Craig's, and she wanted to clear a few things up about her penchant for pissing during performances.

Check out the clip ... Shania tells us she's taken a No. 1 onstage, but only one time -- when she was 16.

If you're wondering where all the potty talk came from ... Shania was on Andy Cohen's Bravo show last week, and the way the convo went down it sounded like she was a serial pisser.

Shania says her losing it was the result of stage fright ... when she was only 16 in front of a big audience. She wants to get the word out stat that she's outgrown the spontaneous pee thing.

D.L. Hughley is a HUGE boxing fan -- so, when he saw the clip where Michael B. Jordan said he could hold his own in the ring with Roy Jones Jr., D.L. had some thoughts ...

"Roy Jones Jr. ain't what he was, but he'd still beat the sh*t outta Michael B. Jordan."

There's more ...

"Even though Roy Jones Jr. won't remember his name, he'll beat the hell out of Michael B. Jordan."

Michael B.'s been training like crazy for years ever since he took the role of Adonis Creed -- and clearly believes he's built up the skills to compete with real world class boxers.

In fact, multiple pro boxers -- including his "Creed II" co-star Florian Munteanu -- have vouched for Michael's hands ... which might be why MBJ was so confident when we spoke with him last week.

As for Roy, he's not interested in talking, he wants to FIGHT -- challenging Michael B to call his camp and set up a real bout ... where the actor can test his skills once and for all.

Tom Brady ain't going to be reprising his role as the terrible throwing dude at a carnival anytime soon -- the Pats QB says his career as a "Saturday Night Live" host is likely over.

And why? He's too damn busy.

"I'm basically on a reality TV show every Sunday afternoon for 3 hours so I feel like I'm on TV enough in the Fall and Winter."

The GOAT appeared on WEEI's "Mut & Callahan" on Monday and was asked about life outside of football -- particularly if he'd ever return to 30 Rock like he did back in 2005 when he famously played "Alan" ... a guy with an arm like Nathan Peterman.

TB12 says he loves the show ... but it's too big of a commitment and he'd rather be hanging out with Gisele and the kids.

"It's hard for my family to give that up," Brady says.

"It's hard to say, 'All right guys, well, I'm going to go off and do another week of something that I've really done before.'"

ICYMI ... the carnival sketch was Brady's best work -- but he also donned a sultan outfit and played the manager of "Falafel City" ... and had a sketch where he joked about his rivalry with Peyton Manning and other QBs.

Good times.

Bow Wow's gonna hate this ...

Ezekiel Elliott's keeping one of the most embarrassing moments of the rapper's life alive -- bringing back the #BowWowChallenge after destroying the guy's favorite team.

You remember the Bow Bow Challenge, right? When Shad Moss was mocked ruthlessly for posting a pic on social media implying he was flying on his own private jet ... when he really wasn't.

The scandal inspired a viral challenge of people clowning the rapper for lying. Good times.

The fad eventually died off ... but Zeke just brought it back after he worked the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday.

The running back grabbed Dak Prescott and his right tackle La'el Collins and pretended they were off to the P.J. while the rest of the squad hit the commercial airliner.

"So this how the team go home -- and this how we go home! Bow Wow Challenge, baby!!"

Amy Schumer is back on her feet after suffering a pregnancy complication.

Amy was out and about in New York City Saturday ... this after she posted a pic of her in a hospital bed saying the baby was fine but she was suffering from hyperemesis -- AKA extreme morning sickness.

Amy canceled her Dallas show Friday night, but she was back in business Saturday, performing her comedy show in Newark, New Jersey, at the Performing Arts Center.

She's scheduled to perform Sunday in Pittsburgh.

Roy Clark -- the legendary country singer and host of "Hee Haw" -- has died.

A rep for the Grammy, CMA and ACM Award winner tells us Clark died Thursday morning at his home in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Clark had recently gotten pneumonia and ultimately passed because of complications from the illness.

Clark has been performing since the age of 14, and was one of the first artists to land singles on both the pop and country charts ... and was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 2009. Roy played the guitar, banjo, fiddle, mandolin, harmonica and many other instruments.

Clark's show "Hee Haw" -- a country music variety show -- ran for 24 years ... making it one of the longest syndicated television shows in history. He often had musical guests on the show including Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks and Loretta Lynn.

Clark is survived by Barbara -- his wife of 61 years -- and his 5 children.

There will be a memorial to honor the singer in Tulsa -- which Roy has called home since 1974 -- in the coming days.

Aaron Rodgers and Danica Patrick are a happy, loving couple these days ... and they can thank Jim Carrey for that -- so says the ex-NASCAR driver herself.

Danica was delivering a motivational speech in North Dakota on Wednesday ... and afterward, she fielded some questions about her relationship with the Packers star QB.

One of the questions ... what was Aaron Rodgers' first line that got you to (eventually) go on a date with him?

That's when D.P. said the future Hall of Famer went straight to the "Dumb and Dumber" quote well to catch her attention.

"He was at the bar, puttin' out the vibe -- 'Dumb and Dumber,' you know?" Danica says.

"And, I remember he was doing movie lines! And, people that love movie lines, LOVE movie lines. So, I think we had a dialogue in movie lines, and I was like, 'This guy is really funny!'"

Danica says that all went down at the ESPYs back in 2012 ... and it helped lay the foundation for their future relationship, 'cause they kept in touch until they got serious about a year ago.

As for the actual first date ... Danica wasn't spillin' many beans there, but did say, "We were cooped up. We were cooped up. We weren't out in public."

In other words .... touchdown, Rodgers?!?!

The federal government just released a photograph of the aftermath of the blizzard that struck Washington, D.C. last week, and which left a blanket of thick snow over one side of Capitol Hill. Just a single woman survived.

A close distance away, however, the left side of Capitol Hill fared much better, where some light flurries mixed with some colorful landscape to give things a sign of real life.

The long-term forecast calls for considerably less snow on Capitol Hill in the coming years.

Kristaps Porzingis can't play basketball right now ... but that doesn't mean he ain't havin' fun -- 'cause the Knicks superstar just hit up an NYC party with Ivan Drago!!!

Dolph Lundgren was out at Mr. Chow Tribeca -- celebrating the upcoming release of "Creed II" -- so the Unicorn put his ACL rehab on hold and popped by to join the party.

Why?? We're told Kristaps -- whose nickname used to be "Young Drago" -- is a HUGE fan of the 'Rocky' villain, and always wanted to meet him.

The first interaction between the two at the Haute Living and Zenith Watches bash was pretty great ... K.P. towered over the 6-foot-5 actor -- and, at one point, Dolph just had to ask, "How tall are you, man?!"

Of course ... Kristaps measures in at 7-foot-3 -- only about a foot and a half taller than Drago's most famous opponent, Sylvester Stallone.

So ... it all begs the question -- WHO YA GOT IN THIS FIGHT?!

Stan Lee was supposed to deliver one of the most memorable lines in "Spider-Man 2," according to Donnell Rawlings ... who ended up replacing the late Marvel legend.

We got Don at LAX soon after we broke the news that Stan had passed away, and he had a hilarious story for us about his cameo in the original "Spider-Man" sequel. In case you've forgotten, Donnell briefly shows up when Tobey Maguire goes swinging with pizzas in hand.

According to Donnell, Stan was set to drop the classic line ... but, apparently, he'd fallen ill during filming and Don got tapped instead. He even reenacts the "Oscar-worthy" scene for our camera guy, and does a pretty good job at recapturing the magic.

BTW, Stan did end up making a cameo in 'SM2,' but it was a non-speaking part. He was notorious for showing up in the Marvel movies ... someway, somehow.

Like we first told you ... Stan was rushed to Cedars-Sinai by ambulance from his Hollywood Hills home early Monday morning, and he died at the hospital.

He was 95.

Conservative talk show host Ben Shapiro says Pete Davidson's apology to Dan Crenshaw was the best political moment he's seen in years ... because it shows a level of civility that has been forgotten in America.

We got Ben Sunday at LAX, and he praised the apology skit to the skies, saying it's a shining light of how liberals and conservatives can disagree but treat each other with a level of civility.

Fact is ... it was an amazing moment on 'SNL,' with Pete apologizing and then the Congressman-elect coming at him with some hilarious jokes. Dan waded in treacherous waters by raising the super sensitive subject of Ariana Grande -- so funny.

The one controversial thing ... when Dan said rather than telling veterans, "Thank you for your service," he said people should say, "Never forget." That's a phrase that has been used to remember the Holocaust.