Humor

Bill Pullman waited 21 long years to do it, but he finally got the right stage ... and he delivered.

The actor was the commencement speaker at Warren Wilson College in Asheville, NC Saturday, and gave the graduates a blast of nostalgia by opening with a line from of his famous "Independence Day" speech ... with a slight revision.

Bill made a political wisecrack, too -- but it may have been an accident -- when he explained the glory of playing President Whitmore. Good stuff.

As for why Pullman chose to speak at WWC ... his sons are alumni.

Kim Zolciak got her wish -- her whole family went to a John Legend show and even got to meet him ... and her daughter didn't have to put out.

You may recall ... Kim joked with John's wife Chrissy Teigen earlier this month that her daughter Brielle would trade oral sex for VIP access. Some of her followers got upset -- but Kim told us it was an innocent JK.

Kim and Chrissy clearly don't give a rat's ass what anyone thinks. Also, the joke worked ... Kim's son Kash -- who's a huge Legend fan and is recovering from an operation -- got to meet the musician with the whole fam.

Brielle was also down with it ... you'll excuse the expression.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu met Aerosmith this week, and the man's got jokes.

Steven Tyler and co. got to meet the PM after performing in Tel Aviv Wednesday night, and Netanyahu was quick to point out he's more Bostonian than them. Most of the band's from New York ... Bibi went to MIT and worked in Beantown for 2 years.

Netanyahu went on to show the guys some cool memorabilia in his office ... and, of course, got back in the saddle to lay on some Aerosmith jokes.

President Trump's claim he's being treated worse than any politician in history is almost laughable to Rep. Robert Brady. Seriously ... he kinda laughed.

The Democrat from Philadelphia's been in Congress for 19 years ... so he's seen some action. We got him on Capitol Hill Wednesday, and asked what he thought about the president's gripe during the U.S. Coast Guard graduation ceremony.

In you case you're unfamiliar ... bitching to someone from Philly rarely works out.

As Brady put it, "We'll straighten 'im out. Come see us."

Don't tell Kendall Jenner anything is just like riding a bike, 'cause she's got issues there ... based on this near face-planting wipeout.

The model was decked out in a hot pink coat and cruising along until she tried coming to a stop on the bicycle. Keyword: TRIED.

Instead of using the brakes, looks like she tried to do it 'Flintstones' style ... with her feet. The outcome will add a little joy to your day. Looks like there was a camera guy -- probably for 'KUWTK' -- getting all the action ... hopefully in super slo-mo.

Khloe posted the vid with the caption, "My work here is done."

Ditto.

Dave Chappelle says he's seen enough of President Trump to admit he was wrong for going on 'SNL' and pleading with the country to ease up on the Trump hate right after the election.

Dave did a hysterical mea culpa in NYC Monday night at the Robin Hood Gala, telling the crowd ... "I was the first guy on TV to say 'Give Trump a chance.' I f***ed up. Sorry.”

He's definitely seeing things differently now because he went on to rip the prez on all sorts of issues, including immigration ... and his unpredictability. As Dave put it, "He's actually what you thought a black president would be."

Sean Spicer came back in a big way on 'Saturday Night Live' -- taking the podium to explain why Trump fired James Comey ... and to lock lips with his boss.

Melissa McCarthy returned for her 5th SNL hosting gig, and ripped off one of her funniest Spicer skits to date -- unleashing on the media over Comey's firing, and taking the famous mobile podium on a road trip to find out if he's getting canned.

Will Ferrell's still got it ... and he's got an honorary doctorate from his alma mater now to boot.

The famous funnyman stayed classy for most of his commencement speech to USC's class of 2017 on Friday that included a perfect blend of self-deprecating humor, zingers and of course ... some singing.

The crowd laughed along at the comedian's nonstop jokes, but he got the biggest roar from a topical jab at a certain airline company.

Stephen Colbert is declaring victory in his feud with Donald Trump, saying it's pretty rich of the prez to bring up ratings ... when his approval numbers are in the toilet.

Colbert was more than happy to respond to Trump calling him a "no-talent guy." In his Thursday night monologue, he said, "I've been trying for a year to get you to say my name ... I won."

The host also addressed Trump saying he has a "filthy mouth" -- "I do occasionally use adult language, and I do it in public instead of the privacy of an 'Access Hollywood' bus." Ya walked right into that one, Mr. Commander-in-Chief.

President Donald Trump finally clapped back ... tearing Stephen Colbert a new one after the comedian's controversial takedown of the prez.

Trump says Colbert is a "no-talent guy" who has "nothing funny" to say and what he DOES say is "filthy." It's the first time Trump's addressed Colbert's monologue from last week ... which he punctuated with ... "The only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's cock holster."

Trump told TIME magazine, "The guy was dying. By the way they were going to take him off television, then he started attacking me and he started doing better. But his show was dying."

Scott Disick's new lady friend had a really hard time finding her ride Tuesday night -- but luckily Scott's private driver happened to be Johnny on the Spot and whisked her away ... maybe to Scott's.

Scott's rumored boo -- British model Ella Ross -- simply could not find her Uber after leaving Avenue in L.A. -- going left, right and around to find some kind of help getting home.

Then, out of nowhere, Lee Weaver appeared and offered Ella a ticket out of the paparazzi chaos ... for a price, of course. Turns out the dude is Scott's personal driver ... and he says something that may be a clue as to Ella's final destination.

The whole thing seems too perfect to be a coincidence.

Post Malone needed a little pick-me-up before his show this weekend -- so, naturally, his pal hired a mariachi band to belt out his hit single to the tune of about $1,000.

Sources close to Post tell TMZ one of his buddies, Rich Chigga, ordered a song request from the best Yelp-reviewed mariachi band in Miami ahead of the rapper's gig Sunday at the Rolling Loud Festival ... 'cause he felt Post needed to get hyped before taking the stage.

We're told Rich met with the band ahead of time and gave 'em the lyrics to Post's single, "Congratulations" ... which they rehearsed before being dropped off at Bayfront Park by Postmates. Yes, they also deliver people.

The original cost was supposed to be $350 for a couple hours, but Post showed up super late and the tab ran up to $900 quick ... coming out of Rich's pockets.

For what it's worth -- again, $900 -- it looks like their version was Post approved. Felicidades!

Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski couldn't hide their engagement on SNL's version of "Morning Joe" ... packed with sexual tension, penis jokes and a "Donald Trump" cameo!

Kate McKinnon and Alex Moffat did their best Mika and Joe for Saturday's cold open, and nailed the co-hosts ... while also sexing up their now public relationship with hilarious results.

"Veep" star Tony Hale, who plays Julia Louis-Dreyfus' bag man, Gary, is both worried and elated someone almost laughed himself to death watching the show.

Tony was out in Bev Hills Friday after news surfaced an Australian politician laughed so hard at an episode of "Veep," he almost died choking on a piece of sushi and then hit his head on a coffee table.

Tony also has a strong opinion on the better Veep for whom to work ... Mike Pence or Selina Meyer.

Australian Parliament member Graham Perrett says the combination of sushi and HBO's "Veep" almost killed him, and he has the scars to prove it.

Perrett was sitting at home with his wife watching season 6, episode 1 when he laughed so hard at one of the jokes ... well, he tells the story better than us.

Check out the scene ... it's pretty damn funny.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus was not a believer when she heard the story, but when you think about it ... it's high praise.

WORST. WEDDING. EVER?

Or maybe just most memorable ... after the minister barfed in the middle of the couple saying their "I dos." It's unclear when or where the nuptials went down, but this video is making the rounds right now.

The bride's in the middle of reciting her vows to her groom when, out of nowhere, the minister upchucks. She was at least quick enough to turn away from the happy couple.

Bride's reaction makes the whole video though ... barely skipped a beat.