Humor

DJ Khaled's all hyped up to work at Starbucks ... not as a barista (that would be awesome though) ... but as the star of a new ad campaign -- and we got his audition on camera!

The rapper was rolling in a golf cart Tuesday at the Beverly Glen Circle in L.A. -- indulging in some pumpkin cake -- when he breaks down how un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-un-believable the product is.

If any casting agents are watching ... Khaled's waiting for the MAJOR KEY!!

Stephen Colbert launched back into his verbal assault of President Trump ... the day after he caught some heat for calling Trump "Vladimir Putin's c**k holster."

Colbert didn't address any of the backlash against, or support for, his comment. Instead he tackled Trump's phone call with Putin ... suggesting Putin is the voice of reason between the two leaders. It was the opening minute of Tuesday's monologue. Interestingly, it didn't get anywhere near the laughs the c**k joke did.

He also skewered the prez over his media attacks and the First Amendment (starts at 4:54 in the video).

Ron White is scoffing at criticism Stephen Colbert hurled a homophobic slur Donald Trump's way ... saying he has carte blanche to say whatever the hell he wants.

Ron was heading to lunch Tuesday at Wolfgang's Steakhouse in Bev Hills when we asked him about Colbert's jab at Trump, "The only thing your mouth is good for is being Vladimir Putin's c**k holster."

Ron hadn't seen the footage, but he jumped to Stephen's defense, insisting the comments were all made in the line of duty.

Whoever said good artists borrow and great artists steal may have been looking at Monday night's Met Gala with a smile ... 'cause Hollywood was all about it.

Check out some of the biggest (and most familiar) looks from the red carpet at the Metropolitan Museum or Art, where Flavor Flav's white suit and top hat, The Weeknd's old 'do and the classic blue Snuggie resurfaced in some of the stars' outfits.

Donnell Rawlings isn't surprised the Delta fight went down in the ATL ... but he says it was totally avoidable if people would just do a few simple things onboard the aircraft.

We got the comedian Sunday at LAX and asked about the Delta brawl where a pilot punched a woman in who was in an all-out brawl with another passenger. He had A LOT to say.

Donnell's not surprised it went down in Atlanta, and his reasoning is pretty hilarious.

Chad Johnson was lucky to run into a highway patrol officer who was kind enough to give him a lift when his car blew a tire ... but duty called, and Chad was unceremoniously kicked to the curb.

Chad tells TMZ Sports he was driving home from a football game in Miami when he blew a tire. The former Bengals star didn't have a spare, so the whip had to be towed. An officer offered to take him home, and it actually looked pretty awesome for a while -- Chad in the back seat ... vibing out to Kanye.

But then ... a dispatcher sounded the alarm ... someone committed a 187 -- murder -- and the officer had to book it. So he dropped Chad off at a gas station.

Don Lemon is kinda awesome ... seems the way he sees it, why do you need big Hollywood stars when he and others in his biz shine just as bright?

Don was stylin' in his tux, walking into the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday night at the Washington Hilton, when our photog asked about the absence of A-listers at the bash. Stars like Kim Kardashian, Morgan Freeman and Reese Witherspoon have all attended in recent years.

The CNN host doesn't hesitate ... you look in the mirror and then look around and that will do the trick.

Kathy Hilton does NOT appreciate A-list actresses allegedly snubbing her or fans --- even if it is Amy Adams ... or Isla Fisher ... or whoever just walked by.

We got the Hilton family Saturday night at Craig's where they were talking about a possible wedding between Paris Hilton and BF Chris Zylka ... when all of a sudden a female star walked by and hijacked the moment with paps.

Our camera guy wrongly ID'd the celeb -- it was actually Amy, not Isla. Either way ... Kathy isn't a fan. As far as we can tell, Kathy says the star wouldn't take a pic inside the restaurant with a fan, and on top of that didn't thank Ms. Hilton for a compliment about her dress.

Oprah was ready and willing to fork over $10 if a kid knew her name, but let's just say ... she still has the money.

O's company took part in Thursday's Take Your Kid to Work Day. One OWN employee's child came face-to-face with the TV legend, and she made a bet: say my name and you get the cash.

You gotta see it! The kid stands silent ... no clue who dad's boss is. Awkward? For Dad?

"The Simpsons" envision Ivanka Trump as a Supreme Court Justice, and Sean Spicer killing himself ... at least in the show's version of Donald Trump's first 100 days in office.

The spoof airs on Sunday's episode, and even the staunchest Trump haters would have to say it's super dark -- Spicer hanging himself in the White House Press Room, Ruth Bader Ginsburg getting 86'd for Ivanka, while hawking robes and the prez himself weeping over ... well, you gotta watch.

Of course, Trump's made no secret of his love for FOX News. Gotta wonder if he'll be watching the mother ship Sunday night.

Ya win some, ya lose some ...

Here's Neymar -- one of the greatest soccer players on the planet -- proving even juggling masters screw up every now and then.

Neymar has a reputation of being an excellent ball-handler ... but he biffed it while trying to bust out a trick Thursday morning.

Go ahead, laugh ... he's still wayyyy better than you.

It was stank on a plane for the Toronto Raptors ... when 7-foot center Jonas Valanciunas blew a fart on the team jet and nearly killed all of his teammates.

P.J. Tucker captured the aftermath (asstermath) on video -- showing stars like Demar DeRozan, Kyle Lowry and others struggling to breathe.

But the funniest reaction is Serge Ibaka -- who looks genuinely pissed about the ass gas at 30,000 feet.

P.J. says the fart was so bad the team needs to burn the seat.

#BREAKING ... Doris Roberts died more than a year ago, but it seems some people are just now hearing the news ... and sending SUPER belated condolences.

For some reason ... Doris was trending online Wednesday, and a lot of folks seemed to just now realize the actress had passed away ... linking back to TMZ's exclusive story as evidence.

Doris' 1-year death anniversary was actually last Monday ... so we're not too sure how to explain the delayed reactions. Either these well-wishers have been living under a rock all this time, or ... no, that's the only explanation.

As we reported ... Doris died from a massive stroke at her home in L.A. She'd been suffering from hypertension for years.

Soooo ... RIP, Doris. Again ... still.

Al Pacino is feeling great at 77, but apparently his hot girlfriend's boob feels even better.

Al was down in Mexico Tuesday celebrating his birthday with gf Lucila Sola ... who's just about 40 years younger than Al. Looks like he's totally tuned in to her.

During a stroll down the beach, Al snuck in a feel -- or maybe he was trying to regain his balance. Hard to say.

Whatever the case ... Al looks great, Lucila does too. Feliz cumpleaños, bud!

Ted Cruz has the perfect solution on how to pay for Donald Trump's border wall ... pass a law to use El Chapo's billions and loot from other lords to underwrite construction.

The Texas senator introduced a new bill Tuesday called the Ensuring Lawful Collection of Hidden Assets to Provide Order Act -- aka the EL CHAPO Act ... which does just that.

The bill would allow the U.S. to use all cash forfeited by drug lords to pay for the wall and border security.

According to Ted ... the U.S. is already gunning for more than $14 billion in drug money and other profits that the Mexican drug lords collected, and Cruz says that will go a long way toward the estimated $20 plus billion in construction costs.

The government is on the verge of shutting down this week, in part because of funding for the border wall project. Looks like Ted's trying to get creative with a solution.

Matt Goggin wants justice for his broken golf clubs -- he's just afraid to demand it from United Airlines for fear of getting manhandled a la Dr. David Dao.

The Australian pro golfer's pissed off about 3 of his clubs getting snapped at the head. As he put it ... it's the first time in more than 20 years his gear got destroyed in flight.

Naturally, Goggin was looking to give someone an earful -- if only he had flown a different airline. He tweeted, "I was going to complain but I must admit I'm a little intimidated by @united."

He's obviously referring to the infamous video of Dao getting jacked up.

Lucky for Matt, TaylorMade Golf responded and promised to replace the clubs. As for United? Maybe they've just got bigger fish to fry.