Humor

This is pretty hilarious ... Ben Affleck's raw reaction when he found out his beloved Patriots were getting spanked by Rex Ryan's Buffalo Bills.

"F***."

It all went down when Affleck was getting ready to do an interview with Sports Illustrated ... and he dared to ask the reporter about the score.

Affleck wasn't just upset that they were losing ... but the fact they were losing to REX RYAN!

And the Academy Award goes to ... someone other than Clay Matthews.

But hey, at least when it comes to reenacting scenes from classic movies ... the Packers star gets an A for effort.

The woman who claims Chris Brown pulled a gun on her got a hysterical assist from Breezy in her quest to win a beauty pageant.

Baylee Curran was a contestant in the Miss Greater Inland Empire Pageant -- it's a prelim for Miss California -- and when it came time for the evening gown competition last weekend, she got a sweet and serendipitous surprise.

The DJ had a great sense of humor because he threw on CB's "Don't Wake Me Up." Watch the video ... you gotta laugh.

The pageant director tells TMZ the song choice was purely a coincidence. People in the audience say it didn't appear Baylee noticed, but she was upset about something else.

We're told she didn't even place in the competition, so she stormed out early. Still a better exit than the one she made at Chris' house.

Joe Jonas and Wilmer Valderrama have Eskimo bro etiquette down to a tee -- date the same woman, give thy brother a lift.

We got Joe and Wilmer looking chummy on their way out of Zinque in WeHo. Watch what happened when our photog asked about their shared history with Demi Lovato ... the bros know the code.

We know they're kinda modified EBs -- since Joe was doing the "purity ring" thing when he was with Demi. Still, nice to see they can hang.

FUN FACT: Wilmer took shotgun and Joe drove. #1 always drives ... textbook EBs.

Rory McIlroy was upstaged by a heckler in the gallery at the Ryder Cup Thursday morning -- when the golfer missed a putt multiple times ... and an American heckler came out and showed him how it's done!

Rory was doing a practice round at Hazeltine National Golf Club in Minnesota when he got to the 6th hole and ran into some trouble on the green.

The heckler essentially told Rory he could do it better ... so Henrik Stenson challenged the guy to come out on the course and hit it himself.

Golfer Justin Rose even put up $100 to the heckler if he made the shot.

Well, guess what -- HE DRAINED THE 12 FOOT PUTT ... while wearing jeans and what appeared to be house slippers!!!

Rory wasn't bitter -- in fact, he gave the guy a hug and helped him celebrate.

More jokes from President Obama ... this time, POTUS was busting out the zingers with the Team USA Olympians ... crackin' on everything from his gymnastics skills to "Phelps face."

It all went down at the White House ... where Obama and gold medal gym superstar Simone Biles riffed for a little while before B.O. turned his attention to Michael Phelps and the famous pre-race face that became an Internet meme.

One important note ... Ryan Lochte was NOT at the ceremony -- because he WASN'T ALLOWED per the punishment he received over that whole drunken bathroom situation in Rio.

HOLY SCHNIKES!!!!

The Mariners went waaaayyyy back to haze one their rookies Wednesday -- making 1st baseman Dan Vogelbach dress like Chris Farley from his legendary Chippendales sketch ... and it was awesome!!

Seriously, the resemblance is uncanny!

Don't worry, Vogelbach was joined by the rest of the rooks -- who dressed up like Gumby, Supergirl, Thor, the Kool-Aid Man and others.

But no one pulled off the look-alike thing like Vogelbach!!!

#RIPPatrickSwayze

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton's first presidential debate coverage was largely predictable and even boring -- but Al Jazeera's Kimberly Halkett rose above the fray to go viral with 4 simple words.

Check out the vid ... Halkett got caught in a sea of people pre-debate. During the pushing and shoving one woman bumped Halkett from behind. She was clearly pissed about missing out on something, quickly turned and said, "Thanks a lot, bitch!"

We tried to get Kimberly on the phone, but she's still on her grind ... doing live reports -- and didn't have time to chat. It's cool. Wouldn't want to push her.

Brad Pitt's probably a long way from playing the field again, but that didn't stop an airline from using his new single status to hawk cheap flights from London to L.A.

Norwegian airlines took out an ad in the London Evening Standard this week that read "Brad is single" above their remarkably cheap £169 (about $220) one-way ticket price.

Other promos have appeared on the airline's Twitter too.

Can't knock the clever marketing, although there should be some fine print: "Actual Brad Pitt not included."

Pete Wentz is stoked he's not the top result when you Google his last name ... because that honor now belongs to Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz.

We got the Fall Out Boy frontman at LAX ... he tells us he loves the now famous rookie QB so much he loaded up on Carson merch -- even after he whooped up on his hometown Bears.

Sylvester Stallone is one hungry corpse, because hours after a hoax website pronounced him dead, he was eating Italian.

Sly and wife Jennifer Flavin were leaving Madeo in WeHo -- with '60s teen idol Frankie Avalon no less -- when our photog asked about his supposed demise.

Sly -- always the businessman -- figured out a move that would keep him on the screen postmortem.

Michael Rapaport channeled his inner Danny Aiello to scream at Jay Cutler Monday night -- blasting the Bears QB as a "mayonnaise and newspaper breath smelling motherf*****."

It's hilarious ... Rapaport's obviously paying tribute to Aiello's character in "Do the Right Thing."

Jimmy Fallon says he gave Donald Trump a 2 minute warning before messing with his hair last week ... and he doesn't think he went too soft on the guy either.

We got Jimmy after Sunday night's Emmy Awards and he described in detail what it felt like.

Jimmy also brushed off critics who blasted him for going too soft on Donald.

The 'Tonight Show' host has Hillary Clinton on this week, and it sounds like more gags are in store.

Jimmy Kimmel's Emmys joke about Johnnie Cochran has enraged a famous lawyer Johnny mentored.

Carl Douglas lashed out at Kimmel, who talked smack on O.J.'s real lawyer after Courtney B. Vance won Best Actor in a Limited Series. Kimmel said, "I have to believe Johnnie Cochran is smiling up at us tonight."

The idea that Cochran went to hell for repping O.J. was too much for Douglas to bear, saying, "That was a terribly offensive joke that Jimmy Kimmel made about my mentor and hero Johnnie L. Cochran, Jr."

Whether he's got a basketball or a microphone in his hand, Victor Oladipo is pretty damn impressive.

TMZ Sports has video of the Oklahoma City Thunder star busting out R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" at a Florida water park earlier this summer and we gotta say ... dude's got some golden pipes.

Here's the thing ... this wasn't just a random performance ... we talked with Oladipo about it, and he told us his rendition was part of a real deal talent show ... AND HE TOOK FIRST PLACE!!

Check out the video ... soak up the soul ... and don't act like you're not impressed.

Word to the wise ... DON'T ask Dikembe Mutombo to sing ... and DON'T try to duet with him on the street ... 'cause it'll lead you down a path that ends in ... FINGER WAVE HUMILIATION.

Mount Mutombo was out in NYC when one of our more adventurous camera guys asked him if he'd ever use that legendary bass voice to kick off a singing career.

Check out the clip -- the question was met with the same result Dikembe gave almost every basketball player in the '90s ... a vicious rejection ... followed by the dreaded Mutombo finger wave.