Humor

The guy scaling Trump Tower in NYC with the help of suction cups posted a video Tuesday declaring his allegiance to the Republican Presidential candidate and giving him the heads-up he'd literally be climbing the walls to deliver "an important message."

The man calls himself an "independent researcher" and makes it clear ... it is in Trump's interest to receive him when he reaches the top of the building. The guy says he's aware of the life-threatening peril but the message is just that important.

Rescue workers continue in vain to coax him down.

In case of a potential emergency, Simone Biles and the USA Gymnastics team know exactly what to do -- GRAB YOUR GOLD MEDALS AND RUN!!

The Final Five must be really attached to their shiny new hardware after dominating the all-around gymnastics finals at the 2016 Olympics in Rio ... 'cause when a fire alarm went off in their building on Wednesday, they made sure to snatch their medals before evacuating.

"The fire alarm's going off ... but we got our gold!" Biles said as she documented the situation on Snapchat.

It turned out to be a false alarm and the girls -- and their medals -- are alright.

Cash Warren knows what he's got in Jessica Alba ... but not everyone's perfect, right?

Jessica's husband of 8 years was at LAX Tuesday when our photog asked if he could conjure up a flaw.

Cash, a Yale grad who is now an exec at an underwear and t-shirt company, had to think hard.

Finally, McKayla Maroney IS impressed -- telling TMZ Sports she loves the new Michael Phelps death stare meme ... and says it takes her spot as the BEST Olympic funny face.

Of course, Maroney became a viral LEGEND back in 2012 thanks to the whole "not impressed" thing -- so, we had to hit her up to get her take on the new Phelps pic taking the Internet by storm.

"I now see why people thought (the memes were) so funny," Maroney says.

"Somebody tweeted like, 'McKayla looks like somebody took your spot' ... and I looked at his pictures and was like YES! Go Michael, take it away please!"

Looks like she got her wish!

Even Jim Carrey is impressed with his Russian look-alike ... but he's not quite ready to turn the tables on the guy.

We got Jim at LAX Monday and asked about his doppelganger, who's caught fire on social media.

Jim's a pro's pro when it comes to imitations ... but playing a Ruski ... that's a tall order.

Tinder didn't work out for Zac Efron ... but there still might be hope for the everyday Janes of the world.

We caught Zac at LAX and asked him if he'd seriously consider downgrading his selection of potential baes. He's short on words ... but very clear.

Blake Griffin is f****** hilarious ... and here's video proof.

The L.A. Clippers superstar took the stage at the Just For Laughs event in Montreal last week and flexed his comedy skills for the crowd ... and we gotta say, he drew some pretty big laughs.

Blake's no stranger to the funny business ... having taken classes at a UCB Theatre in L.A. ... but this time his material was WAYYYYY more Richard Pryor than usual, including a story about bangin' a stripper.

Mariah Carey got free entertainment from a rapper/panhandler -- but it was only free because she stiffed the guy's request for money afterward ... in classic Mariah fashion.

Mariah was holding court outside Mastro's Steakhouse in Bev Hills ... swarmed by paps as she floated to her ride, and you've gotta see what happened once she got inside.

Watch for the bald guy who squeezed through the crowd to get right up to Mimi's window. His performance was awesome, and her reaction is hysterical.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar opened up his wallet to take Kathy Griffin out to a dinner Tuesday night -- to thank the comic for writing his "I'm Michael Jordan" joke at the Democratic National Convention.

Viola Davis isn't shying away from the headlines surrounding her new movie, "Suicide Squad" -- in fact, she's facing 'em head on in this clip.

We asked Viola -- who plays intelligence officer Amanda Waller -- about director David Ayer getting f-bomb happy at the NYC premiere, and she's definitely got his back.

As for some pretty harsh reviews of the film? Viola seems to be blowing that off, but her reaction to our photog suggesting the flick might get Oscar attention ... is priceless.

Gotta respect her honesty.

Former Senator Tom Harkin has no words for Donald Trump, but he does have one quick and vivid sign for the GOP candidate.

Harkin -- who spoke at the DNC last week using American Sign Language -- flew into LAX, and we asked him what sign he'd use to describe Donald Trump.

His answer is short and hysterical. Basically, he's saying the Donald is #2 -- as in ... a turd.

Watch and learn a little ASL.

Donald Trump has boasted in the past how he gets his hands dirty on construction sites ... but eating KFC clearly crosses the line of cleanliness.

Trump chowed down on a jet with the help of a knife and fork, and he's getting blasted on social media.

You'll recall a few years back he dared to eat pizza with the same utensils.

You post penis pics online -- you get mocked by your teammates ... even if you're on Team USA.

Draymond Green got some razzing at practice Monday ... courtesy of his superstar teammates like Boogie Cousins and Klay Thompson.

Green was giving an interview when his teammates were discussing the situation ... and shouting some stuff at Draymond to give him a hard time.

The best part -- when Boogie pretends to hold a mic in his hand and says, "Does this remind you of anything?"

You gotta watch the clip.

It's been 38 years since Leon Spinks upset Muhammad Ali for the heavyweight title ... but that didn't stop the former champ from taking one last jab at his old opponent.

Neon Leon, and his brother Michael, attended the Pat Cairo cancer outing in Lido Beach, NY on Tuesday when Leon was asked if he wanted to lay a hit on a cardboard cutout of the GOAT.

"I'm gonna give him a little rest today," he joked before adding, "he's still ugly, too."

Leon went on about his relationship with Ali, saying, "he always talked s***, but we loved him anyway."

Proceeds from the event -- which included a tribute to Ali -- were donated to a local hospital for the terminally ill and for cancer research efforts.

When Tori Spelling lands a guest spot on a show about a bar ... she really gets into character.

Tori was seen looking hammered Thursday night leaving the Abbey -- where we're told she was shooting a scene for the E! new reality show based on one of L.A.'s hottest gay venues.