Houston Texans

Welcome to the league, rook.

Houston Texans rookie defensive back KJ Dillon got stuck with a $16,000 dinner bill Monday night after a big night out with some of his teammates ... a night that included $7,700 in cognac!!!

The DBs hit up Pappas Bros. Steakhouse in Houston -- where they crushed everything from steak to lobster to bacon wrapped scallops.

And don't forget the 22 glasses of Hennessy Paradis Imperial -- $7,700!

Total bill $16,255 ... and that does NOT include tip!

Dillon later tweeted, "When you get left with the tab ..."

FYI, Dillon ain't exactly making Brock Osweiler money ... he only signed a 4 -year deal worth $2.798 mil ... which included a $234,936 signing bonus.

Some good news for Brock Osweiler ... he's gonna be a dad!!

TMZ Sports has learned Brock's wife, Erin, is pregnant with a little girl due in April!

It's the couple's first child and we're told Brock and Erin's families are super excited.

Brock and Erin got married back in 2015 -- before he signed his massive $72 million contract with the Houston Texans. So, someone's gonna get one helluva push present!

Santa Claus is 6'3" and once ran the 40 in 4.41 seconds ... 'cause 7x Pro Bowler Andre Johnson just hooked a bunch of underprivileged kids up with almost $20,000 worth of toys.

Johnson invited a group of kids to a Houston, Texas Toys "R" Us store ... and gave them 80 seconds (he wore #80 as a Texan) and a shopping cart to grab WHATEVER THEY WANTED!!

Johnson's rep tells TMZ Sports once all the toys and electronics were added up ... the bill came to roughly $20,000.

BTW -- this is the 9th year Andre's hosted the Christmas shopping spree. He was joined by the Texans cheerleaders!

The kids also got a gaming console -- along with games -- in addition to whatever they grabbed off the shelves.

#SantaWearsAHelmet

With the Houston Texans going to Mexico for a game against the Raiders this weekend, the NFL has sent a safety memo to the team -- essentially advising them how not to get robbed ... or diarrhea.

Get your trapper keeper ready ... 'cause Houston Texans wide receiver Jaelen Strong is going back to school -- DRUG SCHOOL -- as part of the deal he cut in his weed arrest case.

As we previously reported, the former Arizona State standout was popped in Scottsdale back in February ... when cops found him trying to hide a bunch of joints in the crotch of his pants.

Strong was arrested and booked for possession of marijuana -- which carries a maximum sentence of 6 months in jail.

But Jaelen caught a break ... cutting a deal with prosecutors in which he agreed to enter a drug diversion program (an educational course that can take up to 6 months to complete) and undergo counseling ... and in exchange, officials will drop the case.

It's a good deal for Strong -- just make sure you don't skip class!

The Houston Texans won the AFC South this past weekend ... but let's face it, that probably won't make your Thursday any better.

The Texans Cheerleaders celebrated the division title by gathering in the locker room for the cutest, sexiest, post game victory dance party in NFL history.

And guys (and some ladies) ... we think that will DEFINITELY get your Thursday off to the right start.

It's Friday ... and the Houston Texans cheerleaders decided to celebrate by dancing around in tiny bikinis and then jumping in the pool.

Don't let their efforts go to waste ... watch the video!!!

Did you know ... J.J. Watt was on an MTV reality-ish show before he became an NFL superstar????

His former college teammates did ... including SF 49ers cornerback Marcus Cromartie who tells TMZ Sports the entire Wisconsin Badgers squad gave him crap for it back in 2009.

First off, Cromartie has nothing but GREAT things to say about Watt -- but when we asked if he thought Watt could hack it in Hollywood, that's when Marcus brought up his MTV past.

Turns out, Watt had a guest role on a docuseries called, "College Life" -- which followed real life college students at UW (it only lasted one season).

J.J. -- sporting an incredible sideways beanie/cap at the time -- was the "crush" of one of the stars ... who raved about Watt being a really nice guy.

Check out the clip ... the girls are clearly smitten with the football player -- but clown him over his mode of transportation at the time.

Who's laughing now?

Who says cheerleaders aren't athletes?!!

Check out this video of Houston Texans cheerleader Daranesha busting out a pretty INSANE ab workout during a team gym session ... while hanging off a heavy bag!

It's the same workout Dallas Cowboys superstar Dez Bryant busts out when he's trying to get his stomach right ... and trust us, it's not easy.

By the way, on her official Texans bio video, Daranesha says she mostly stays in shape by dancing around the house all day.

Yeah right.

#Beast.

Did Arnold Schwarzenegger just invite J.J. Watt to play a T-1000 in the next "Terminator" movie???

Affirmative.

Watt's a HUGE fan of the action legend -- and even did an impression of the guy when they met face-to-face at the CMT Awards in Nashville earlier this month.

Well, Arnold liked Watt so much he hooked him up to see an early screening of his new flick "Terminator Genisys" ... and afterward, made an INCREDIBLE offer to the NFL superstar.

"Of course in the next 'Terminator' you have to be the T-1000."

Gotta respect when a politician is honest ... like when Jeb Bush admitted to us he didn't know about the MLB hacking scandal yesterday because as he put it: "Man, I'm running for president. I've been busy!"

The former Gov. was leaving NBC in New York when we asked about the FBI investigation into the St. Louis Cardinals for allegedly hacking the Houston Astros to steal top secret information.

Bush has a serious MLB connection, considering his brother George W. was a co-owner of the Texas Rangers.

Good news for the Houston Texans ... the team's $350 million stadium has suffered NO DAMAGE from the brutal floods wreaking havoc on the area ... TMZ Sports has learned.

We talked with a spokesperson for NRG Park who tells us, "We're pretty lucky. No damage on the property at all."

"We span across 350-acres and our property includes NRG Stadium (home to the NFL's Houston Texans), NRG Center, NRG Arena and NRG Astrodome."

"Most of the damage was on the freeways surrounding us and, of course, the streets. We had to cancel work yesterday because no one could get around."

One more interesting note ... the spokesperson adds, "Our roof is retractable, so during the storm it was closed. Hence, why there was no water collection."

We also spoke with a rep for the Houston Astros -- who told us Minute Maid Park was also spared ... suffering no major damage on the 29 acre property.

Drake got absolutely NO LOVE from the Houston Texans cheerleading squad ... and apparently won't be getting any in the future either ... 'cause the WHOLE TEAM said he's completely undateable.

The cheer squad stopped by "H-Town Live" on 104.1 KRBE in Houston on Friday to talk music and pop culture ... when the host put them through a fun rapid question and answer sesh.

But you have to watch the reaction when he asks if any of them would ever date Drake -- a guy who spends A LOT of time in Houston.

It's a mass rejection.

The Houston Texans have somehow found a way to combine two things guys love -- football and twins -- and they've done it in the best possible way.

The Houston Texans Cheerleading Team is about to head out on location to shoot their new calendar in Puerto Rico, so naturally they snapped a few photos of the girls to get ready.

The team did a photo shoot of the 13 girls chosen for the 12 months, with one lucky month getting extra attention in the form of a pair of redheads who are new to the team.

Roughly 1,000 of the hottest chicks in Texas went down to Houston this weekend ... to try out for a spot on the Texans cheerleading squad ... and TMZ Sports has pics from the smokin' hot audition.

There are 35 spots on the squad -- and EVERYONE needs to tryout ... including members of last year's team.

Right now, we're told the team has cut the roster down to 50 ... with final cuts coming in the next few days.

Here's 6'5", 290 pound NFL superstar J.J. Watt trying to land a box jump during a recent training session.

The tiny man behind him was tasked with catching Watt in the event he slipped and fell during the jump.

Poor guy.

Watt tried to make the leap by jumping more than 5-feet onto the mats ... but missed -- sending himself and the spotter crashing to the ground.

Maybe Wesley Snipes was right ...