Hot Mamas

Call 'em the Lakerzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ... 'cause the Purple and Gold are so boring to watch, they put Heidi Klum's kid right to sleep Wednesday night ... even though they were sitting courtside.

The supermodel took both Johan and Henry to Staples Center to watch the Lake Show take on the New Orleans Pelicans ... but it was pretty much over by halftime.

The Lakers ultimately lost again 113 to 92.

Amber Rose and Blac Chyna let their fingers do a lot more than walking outside a Hollywood nightclub -- in fact, we can't really say what they were doing ... because we're too classy.

The ex-stripper BFFs left the Ludacris album release party at Project Club LA and hopped into the same ride ... which was apparently so packed they had to lap up -- with Amber on top.

We'll just say they kinda held an impromptu sex ed class for fans and photogs -- and everyone paid very close attention.

Moms MILFS do the darndest things.

Britney Spears was in full-on soccer mom mode this weekend in Woodland Hills as she sat around on a picnic blanket and ate orange slices while she watched her son Jayden play.

Jessica Alba still does spring break like she's 23, and she's got the booty to back it up -- as she proved on a Caribbean beach with Chrissy Teigen.

Jessica, Chrissy and John Legend were frolicking in the water Thursday -- and it's almost like Alba's ass knew it had to do something to stand out with so many celebs in one spot.

Mission accomplished.

Not to be a buzz kill, but Jessica's 3-year-old daughter Haven is in the photo too (pink hat).

Sorry. You may now resume objectifying her mom -- and because we have a deep respect for history ... here's a classic.

Brandi Glanville's nipple was never supposed to make an appearance on the season finale of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" ... so says the network.

Our production sources tell us their people QC'd the video and never saw areola ... they swear. It's a little weird, since Kim Richards called it out earlier in the scene saying, "Before you go any further, your nipple is hanging out."

Our sources say there were hours of footage for the scene, and it just ... well, you know, slipped by.

We're told Bravo is re-editing the scene for re-runs, and as you know, they run endlessly.

Amber Rose has an ass that just won't quit ... getting Photoshopped -- and here's a little before and ass-ter to prove it.

Amber posted a bunch of Instagram shots from her day at the beach in Hawaii -- and everything was so smooth. But then we got some paparazzi shots of her ass -- it's hard to miss -- and these pics are straight outta dimpleville.

Truth is Amber's in good company -- even Beyonce's been busted multiple times altering pics.

And say what you want about it, but that booty trapped Kanye West AND Wiz Khalifa.

Respect.

And from the no-filters-required department ... we offer these. On fleek.

Bravo is pushing the line for basic cable, because Brandi Glanville's nipple made air.

It happened on the season finale of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" Tuesday night. Brandi got into it with a few of the girls, and then Kim Richards crowed, "Before you go any further, your nipple is hanging out."

This clearly wasn't a mistake, since the show was edited and Kim's remark was right there for the editors.

Tom Brady likes his buns toasted ... Gisele Bundchen's that is.

Tom dropped back to his Costa Rican beachfront estate with Gisele and the fam for his annual off-season vacay.

Sure, Tom has a shiny new trophy that says otherwise -- but, from this angle, it's clear the real MVP in this family wears a bikini. A very small green bikini.

Yeah, we know what you're thinking ... #FML.

Go play, kiddo ... mommy's wabos are out -- is what we imagine Alessandra Ambrosio shouted at some point during her topless photoshoot slash family outing.

The Victoria's Secret supermodel brought the girls out in Malibu Thursday. She also brought her fiance, her son, and her daughter too.

Of course, she still looked fine as hell, it's just ... her son walking into the shot does change the mood quite a bit.

Hint: Cover up the kid with your hand. Muuuch better.

We gotta ask ...

Here's Hilary Duff ... showing off what Mike Comrie will be missing out on now that she's decided to pull the plug on her marriage to the former hockey star.

Duff posted the pic to her Instagram account ... with the caption, "Hey #moms #westillgotit ❤️ #loveyourbod."

Duff and Comrie separated in January 2013 ... but she finally filed for divorce back in February.

First Lady Michelle Obama has been indoctrinated into a cult -- the one where you have to wear yoga pants and sweat all over a stationary bicycle.

Yes ... we got video proof of Mrs. O's commitment to SoulCycle ... as she left a spin class Sunday. Our photog spotted her leaving the Georgetown area location in a hoodie with a few Secret Service members in tow.

One of the bodyguards was sporting a gym outfit that makes it seem like she drew the short straw ... and had to spin through her shift with the First Lady.

Michelle is ALL IN -- she's even sporting SC gear ... and she's been a regular at the D.C. location since it opened last summer. Her fellow worshipers have noticed.

Looking like she just walked off set from a Tim Burton movie, Victoria Beckham walked the red carpet Thursday night with hubby David at the Alexander McQueen: Savage Beauty Fashion Gala in London.

Jennifer Lopez slithered into a tight, formfitting red dress Tuesday and showed off her killer body as she made her way in to tape an episode of "Jimmy Kimmel Live!"

Ryan Seacrest clearly has a type -- hot and blonde -- but his new girl is different in one big way ... she has a bambino.

The "American Idol" host was spotted out this weekend in NYC with a new blonde -- Renée Hall.

Hall (who is ... shocker!!! ... a model) met Seacrest, fresh off his breakup with model Shayna Taylor, at his 40th birthday party in Napa a few weeks ago.

We're told they met through the Marciano brothers (GUESS founders) and quickly hit it off.

Seacrest took Hall to NYC over the weekend, where they went to the Museum of Modern Art.

As for Hall's 8-year-old son, she's proud and loud, posting pics all over her Instagram page.

Ryan would be a cool stepdad, right?

Gwen Stefani was looking hella good at her son's soccer game Saturday ... and single-handedly blew away the other soccer moms standing within a 100-yard radius.

The 45 year-old No Doubt singer was in Studio City cheering on Kingston while holding onto his younger bro Apollo. It's almost freakish how she doesn't age, especially with 3 kids.

Kim Kardashian said hey baby, take a walk on the bright side -- debuting an ultra blonde hairdo in Paris.

Kim and Kanye West walked out of Le Royal Monceau Hotel, and -- it might just be the new 'do -- but she had a disturbingly distant look on her face ... maybe thinking if change is a good thing.