Hot Mamas

It's confirmed ... Kim Kardashian isn't a terrorist ... but TSA just got all up in that bitch just to make sure.

Kim's five-alarm booty must have tripped the sensors Wednesday at a LAX security checkpoint ... she got the royal pat down by a female TSA officer while an annoyed Kanye West looked on.

It's unclear how long it took or what prompted it, but one thing we know for sure ... nothing fell between the cracks in this search.

No, a backdoor didn't smack Farrah Abraham in the face ... she got what could well be the worst lip injections in the annals of medical history.

Farrah may look monsterish, but that didn't stop her from posting the pics online herself with the caption, "Girlfriends don't say I didn't warn ya ! #BOTCHED California #ER #fixit"

We're told Farrah was getting a new procedure, where the doctor puts an implant in the patients lip ... which in theory is cost effective because you don't have to maintain the work with fillers.

Farrah says she researched the doctor and the procedure and decided it was a safe bet. She was wrong. She says the doctors injected her with an anesthetic before the procedure ... and believes she had a MAJOR allergic reaction.

Farrah is no stranger to artificially enhancing body parts, but this takes the cake.

The "Backdoor Teen Mom" star tried to put a good face on it, comparing herself to Leela from "Futurama."

It's a tale of two parents -- while Heidi Klum frolicked around topless in St. Barts with her boyfriend Vito Schnabel ... Seal took their kids to Mammoth for a ski vacation.

Heidi's moguls are the best around.

"Modern Family" star Sofia Vergara is engaged to marry one of the hottest guys in town ... so why is she hiding her massive engagement ring?

"True Blood" star Joe Manganiello popped the question over the holiday weekend after just six months of dating (and Sofia only broke up with her other fiancé less than two months before that).

Vergara was spotted at the airport with her ring turned around so nobody could see it.

The ring is rumored to be at least 10 carats ... who's gonna miss it?

Salma Hayek is not one to flaunt her curves -- we rarely see her rocking little black bikinis -- which is why we're showing you these pics of her ... rocking a little black bikini.

Salma was yachting in St. Barts with her husband Francois-Henri Pinault over the holiday weekend.

Christina Aguilera is not in the Christmas spirit ... she spent her birthday in "The Happiest Place On Earth" ... in a heated argument with Mickey Mouse ... TMZ has learned.

Our theme park source tells us while ringing in her 34th b-day at Disney California Adventure, Christina and her crew tried to get a pic with Mickey, but he was going on a break ... so Christina was told she had to wait. Cue meltdown!

Aguilera lost it, and called Mickey an "a**hole." We're told she even dropped the dreaded, "Do you know who I am?"

Xtina's crew started hurling threats, we're told ... and Mickey had to be ushered to a safe zone -- out of public view. Security was called, but by the time they arrived ... the former Mouseketeer had already split.

Aguilera's rep had no comment.

Mark Wahlberg was caught swimming with a floatie this week in Barbados ... and by that, we mean his wife Rhea Durham's beautiful ass.

Kris Jenner had her first XMAS bash as a single woman ... lots of friends but notable absences.

There are reports Kim and Kanye were no shows, but take a look at the 2 pics of Kim and Kanye separately in what looks like the photo booth inside the party.

Khloe shook her ass, Kendall sexed it up, and we'd say Kylie did the same but she's 17.

Bruce was a no show ... ditto Rob, Brody and Brandon.

The bash was thrown at Kris' Calabasas mansion, where she had a giant tent constructed and laced with XMAS lights.

Is Kris Jenner the happiest person you've ever seen who went through a divorce?

10:45 AM PT -- Turns out Bruce did show up to the party ... and snapped a pic with his daughters.

Kris Jenner is through watching all of her daughters strip down and bare it all ... the 59-year-old clearly wants in on the action ... and the result is weird as hell.

Kris and Kendall Jenner won't be breaking the Internet anytime soon with this bizarre vid shot for LOVE Magazine's advent calendar ... it's a head-scratcher for sure.

When you're done eyeballing her long-legged 19-year-old daughter check out how a robotic Kris comes off like the sad mom embarrassing her kids at a sleepover.

Well ... at least they don't make out.

Take a look.

Vanessa Bryant takes her Christmas card photo VERY SERIOUSLY -- so seriously in fact that Mrs. Mamba tapped one of the top designers from "Project Runway" to make her dress.

Kobe Bryant's wife called upon MTCostello -- who has designed clothes for huge stars like Beyonce and Ariana Grande.

They got together and picked out MTCostello's signature "Black Widow" gown -- which comes with a $6,500 price tag!!

Vanessa had flirted with a bronze version of the dress during an earlier fitting ... but ultimately, decided to go with black.

Sources close to the situation tell us ... Vanessa has always been passionate about Xmas cards. As one person put it, "She takes great pride and puts great thought into celebrating because she's very religious."

Much like Sony did with North Korea, Sharper Image has caved in its battle with the City of Las Vegas ... and in this scenario, Heidi Klum's boobs are "The Interview."

Sharper Image's new ad campaign features a scantily clad Klum alongside suggestive copy designed to get you to buy the gadgets Sharper Image sells that you never knew you needed.

But Klum's cleavage did not meet Clark County code and the ads were barred from being displayed at McCarran Airport. The crux of the problem ... "the showing of the female breast with less than a fully opaque covering or any portion thereof below the nipple" -- aka underboob.

So Sharper Image submitted toned downed pics, which were approved, and will soon be displayed for all to see.

Who knew Las Vegas was run by prudes?

Britney Spears looks ... different on the cover of Women's Health Magazine, and while many people suspect a Photoshop job -- TMZ has obtained video that shows that's probably not the case.

Sources involved with the photoshoot tell TMZ ... Britney's facial changes can be attributed to a makeup technique called "contouring" ... which accounts for her slimmer nose and more defined cheek bones.

Check out the video ... she looks exactly the same on set as she does in print.

It really is Britney, bitch.

10:00 AM PT -- Clooney's rep tells TMZ, Amal is NOT pregnant.

George Clooney broke his vow by taking one ... and MAYBE the reason is becoming apparent.

Amal Clooney and her husband were leaving Soho House in West Hollywood when a photog took the pics this weekend.

George -- who said he would never marry again -- is unwaveringly silent about stuff like this -- but the photos are definitely interesting.

Blake Lively doesn't need a sexy black dress for slimming effect -- 'cause even with a big ole bun in her oven ... she's a total smoke show.

The ex "Gossip Girl" flaunted her belly at a L'Oreal event in NYC last night ... creating a dilemma for all those fans who drooled over her bod long before Ryan Reynolds knocked her up about 5-6 months ago.

Kourtney Kardashian had the stomach to pose naked for Dujuor magazine.

Kourtney -- who is ready to pop with her third kid -- tried to one up Kim. When you break it down limb by limb ... she really looks amazing ... shades of Demi Moore.

Your move, Khloe.

Jennifer Lopez showed off her gymnast-level flexibility as she performed on stage at Sunday night's American Music Awards ... sending a message to other pop stars -- bow down to this booty.

The 45 year-old singer performed Sunday with Iggy Azalea ... and even though Beyonce and Nicki Minaj have reached for the ass queen throne -- this ankle-grabbing move solidifies J.Lo's position.