Hot Bodies

Auditions are set to kick off any minute at the Erwin Center in Austin -- and we're told Britney's fellow "X Factor" judges Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid are there too.

Demi Lovato also showed up ... and got dissed by a fan holding a sign that says, "Go Britney."

Bill Clinton just out-Clinton'd himself -- posing with two famous porn stars in Monaco moments ago ... and one of them's a real up-and-comer.

Clinton's in a Monte Carlo casino right now for a special "Nights in Monaco" gala event -- and several celebrities are in attendance ... including Diane Kruger, Joshua Jackson ... and a BUNCH OF PORN STARS.

The two porn stars on Bill's arms are Tasha Reign (left) and Brooklyn Lee -- AVN's "Best New Starlet" in porn.

Brooklyn -- who just posted the pic on her Twitter account -- also just won the award for "Best Sex Scene" in "Mission Asspossible." As for Tasha's film credits ... those include "Baby Got Boobs 8" and "Farm Girls Gone Bad."

Our guess -- Bill did not have sexual relations with these women.

You are getting sleeeeeeeeeeeepy ... because Lindsay Lohan's breasts are HYPNOTIC.

A bra-less Lindsay went into a photo shoot in West Hollywood yesterday -- and the motion of her ocean could have sank the freakin' Titanic. You gotta see the clip.

Supermodel Kate Upton previously held the Bounciest Bosoms in the Universe title -- after undulating her way into our hearts -- but now, it's all back up for debate.

So we gotta ask ...

"Glee" star Lea Michele made eye-contact a virtual impossibility yesterday ... when she arrived to the "Late Show with David Letterman" with perfectly-framed cleavage.

In a staring contest, Lea wins ... every time.

Breakups do a body good ... especially for Elin Nordegren ... who was flaunting her bikini hardbody just days after ending things with her Tiger Woods rebound guy Jamie Dingman.

The Swedish 32-year-old mother of two was hanging out in Miami this weekend ... after announcing her 1-year relationship with the wealthy businessman officially hit the skids.

Since divorcing Tiger, Elin has been busy buying a new $12 million North Palm Beach estate and then leveling it to build her dream home from the ground up.

Elin definitely looks like $100 million bucks.

Wearing all sorts of different hats, "Vampire Diaries" hotties Matt Davis, Michael Trevino and Ian Somerhalder put their differences aside and made nice at an event in Madrid this month.

Question is ...

Most people go to Boa for steak ... Pam Anderson goes to Boa to lap dance ... and the crotch-grinding was all caught on tape.

The 44-year-old former "Baywatch" star hit up the restaurant after the L.A. Kings playoff victory last night ... and she was in the mood to party.

Pam was hanging out at a table in the front of the restaurant with a bunch of guys ...and after a few swigs of vino ... a sexually-charged Anderson offered up some quality table-dances to some of her friends.

Self-proclaimed "urban model" Elke the Stallion is known for one thing -- her ginormous butt -- which cast its spell over the TMZ newsroom ... shocking, scaring and inspiring us all at the same time.

George Clooney and Steve-O's ex-girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis got on all fours while tanning her slammin' single body in a purple bikini in Cannes on Tuesday.

Joey Lawrence is taking it all off ... or most of it at least ... because the 90s heartthrob just inked a deal with the man-stripper crew at Chippendales in Vegas.

A rep for the beefcake brigade tells TMZ, the 36-year-old former "Blossom" star will don the legendary bow tie ... and not much else ... for a special engagement at the Rio from June 7th-24th.

We're told Joey will sing, dance ... the "whole nine yards."

Joey's celebrity MC predecessors at the famed strip show include 98 Degrees singer Jeff Timmons and former "Bachelor" star Jake Pavelka.

It's unclear how much Lawrence is getting paid for the gig -- but in those parts, there's only one currency ... singles.

The chick featured in this photo is NOT in "Men In Black 3" ... but she showed up to the premiere in Germany anyway ... and ABSOLUTELY NOBODY complained.

Sporting a necklace ... and some garbage bag strips attached to other garbage bag strips ... German bikini model Micaela Schaefer walked the same red carpet as Will Smith and Josh Brolin on Monday.

Name: Tanning Mom ... aka Patricia Krentcil
Measurements: Don't wanna think about it
Turn Ons: UV Rays, carcinoma, cameras
Turn Offs: The movie "Powder" ... the bad guy in "Da Vinci Code"

Yes, Tanning Mom says she's willing to flaunt her sizzlin' hot body for Playboy ... if only they would ask. She's even been practicing her sexy poses.

But if a clothed Tanning Mom is more your speed ... you're in luck -- TM says she's been approached by multiple people interested in featuring her on a reality show.

Still, we gotta ask ...

Male supermodel Tyson Beckford is warning his fans ... the unreleased sex tape featuring himself (with himself) is definitely NOT a masterpiece. Sorry ladies (and some men).

TMZ broke the story ... someone is shopping footage of the 41-year-old former Polo model pleasuring himself during a recent Internet video chat with a female model.

Tyson went on Twitter yesterday to address the issue with fans ... saying he's "sad but life goes on."

"Don't even faze me" ... Tyson added ... "We all do it, just mine got caught on film."

He also admitted, "Not much of a sex tape lol."

Beckford also got Twitter love from "Transformers" star Tyrese Gibson ... the same guy who he gripes about being confused with on the sex tape.

"What folks don't know is that Tyson opened the door for me to model" ... Tyrese explained.

Former "Hills" star Audrina Patridge celebrated her 27th birthday at Wet Republic at the MGM Grand yesterday ... by donning her customary two piece outfit.

Like some parts of Audrina, seeing her in a bikini never gets old.

Former "The Hills" actress Audrina Patridge took time off from her busy schedule of wearing a bikini in L.A. ... to show off her slammin' body in a white hot bikini at the ME Cabo Hotel in Mexico yesterday.

Audrina is down in Cabo San Lucas celebrating her 27th birthday with her BMX boyfriend Corey Bohan and some family members.

Supermodel Miranda Kerr showed off her smokin' hot maternal instincts in a sexy white bikini while on the beach with her adorable son in Bora Bora the other day.