Hot Bodies

Kristin Cavallari took the easiest path to a slamming bikini-ready ass -- date Jay Cutler, get dumped, get pregnant with his baby, and then ... BAM! Instant booty. Simple.

If Miranda Kerr could ditch that lucky bastard Orlando Bloom for some sweet lady love ... the super hot supermodel tells TMZ ... there's only ONE WOMAN that could satisfy her craving.

Kerr hit NYC Tuesday -- in a skin tight dress -- when we asked the most important question of her career: DOES SHE HAVE A GIRL CRUSH?

Turns out ... yes, yes she does.

BONUS -- Kerr's fantasy chick HAS been in a girl-girl relationship in the past.

Michael Keaton left little to the imagination this weekend on the set of his new movie "Birdman" ... running around Times Square with nothing on but socks and a pair of tighty whities.

Jennifer Lawrence was spotted in her head-to-toe body paint for the next "X-Men" movie -- which means some lucky devil's been busy filling in every crack and crevice. But ... how?

It's only been 10 months since Kristin Cavallari popped out her kid ... and she's already snapped back into bikini shape.

The 26-year-old former MTV star -- who's engaged to perennially injured Chicago Bears QB Jay Cutler -- gave birth to their son Camden Jack last August.

Here's "Dr. Who" star Matt Smith, who announced this weekend he's leaving the show ... and "Game of Thrones" star Richard Madden, who made no such announcement.

So we gotta ask ...

Jennifer Lawrence took a break this weekend from winning Oscars (and the 74th annual Hunger Games) to get back in her blue Mystique makeup on the set of "X-Men: Days of Future Past" in Montreal.

Her body of work never disappoints.

Sylvester Stallone says he's flattered that Bollywood is gunning to remake "Rambo" ... telling TMZ the guy rumored to play the lead role is way more RIPPED than he ever was.

Sly -- who's still in pretty damn good shape -- was leaving Cafe Roma in Bev Hills this weekend when he told us he was "flattered" by reports that Indian actor John Abraham would take over the role.

"Actually, he's built better than I ever was," Stallone told us.

FYI -- Abraham is a 40-year-old former model who's become a huge action star in Bollywood ... but in better shape than Stallone?? He was pretty jacked in "Rocky 4."

Polish supermodel Joanna Krupa wants to show the entire world the two perky reasons why everyone should be watching "Real Housewives of Miami."

With the heat in Florida just too much for her beautiful supple skin to bear, the 34-year-old former not hooker "Dancing with the Stars" contestant set her gorgeous gals free and sunbathed topless on Friday.

But Joanna and the twins were not alone, as her lucky ass fiancé Romain supervised the entire accidentally on purpose -- but amazing -- photo op.

Despite all the hype, soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo really does measure up.

Even though he already looks like a perfectly sculpted plastic sculpture, the 28-year-old Portuguese futbol sensation showed off his entirely hairless, buff bod by rolling up his shorts and going shirtless in order to get properly fitted for his latest waxen statue in Madrid on Thursday.

We're told the human Ken doll has an amazing 43 inch chest, a beautiful 33 inch waist, a pair of glorious 24.3 inch thighs, heavenly 13 inch (unflexed) upper arms and a rock hard 11.8 inch ... forearm.

Size does matter.

Now that model Elke the Stallion's massive assets are starring in the "Bubble Butt" music video ... she's proving big girls can make it in Hollywood too.

She's also balancing soda cans on her ass. So ... PROGRESS!

After all she's been through, Britney Spears really is in great shape.

With a healthy looking head of human hair, a sexy baby blue bikini and a belly piercing left over from her 2001 Dream Within a Dream Tour, the resilient 31-year-old mother of two showed off her sane curves and lucid, taut tummy while cooling off poolside at a Los Angeles area resort with her shirtless average joe boyfriend David Lucado this past weekend.

Better late than never ... so says "Basketball Wives" star Evelyn Lozada who finally went to prom last night -- TWENTY YEARS after graduating from high school, TMZ has learned.

Here's how it all went down -- just a few months ago, a high school senior from Bloomfield, Michigan reached out to the VH1 star on Twitter and threw up a Hail Mary ... by asking her to be his date to the prom.

Shockingly, Lozada ACCEPTED -- thinking it would be a fun experience ... particularly because she never went to her own high school prom because she was pregnant at the time.

We're told Evelyn's date Anthony was quite the Romeo ... and even bought Evelyn's corsage.

She took care of the rest -- paying for transportation (in a sick Denali) ... and a fancy dinner -- plus, she paid for her own plane ticket out from L.A..

We're told the two had a great time -- with Evelyn dancing her face off the entire night ... but unfortunately for her date -- her prom dress stayed ON after the party.

Still, not a bad night.

Despite all the craziness ... and the wigs ... and the legal drama, David Spade says he still sees Amanda Bynes for who she really is -- a hot piece of ass.

Spade was hangin' at The Improv last night with his "Grown Ups 2" co-star Nick Swardson -- when Dave dropped some serious truth bombs about the ongoing Bynes saga.

"I'm scared of Amanda Bynes," Spade said ... joking that she'll call him "ugly" on Twitter if he says anything unflattering about her.

But Spade did rank Amanda's hotness -- and it's obvious, he's a fan.

"If you cut out all the 'stuff,' ... she's technically, for all intents and purposes, very pretty -- but I think she's getting in her own way."

While swimming near the shore in Miami, Victoria's Secret supermodel Candice Swanepoel's bikini was nearly swallowed up ... by her own amazing ass.

With her heavenly yellow bikini bottom fighting to stay afloat, the 24-year-old South African stunner soaked her gorgeous curves in the warm waters of South Beach this weekend.

Luckily no one drowned ... watching Candice come out of the water.

Smokin' hot actress Olivia Wilde is board with Jason Sudeikis.

The 29-year-old "Cowboys & Aliens" star flaunted her taut tummy in a black bikini while paddle boarding around the beach in Hawaii with her shirtless "Saturday Night Live" fiance this holiday weekend.

While Olivia looked amazing in her swimsuit, the 37-year-old funnyman proved his hairy slender torso was nothing to laugh at either.

Although they haven't revealed their wedding date, Olivia and Jason are making sure their relationship is as fit as can be.