Heidi & Spencer

What did Spencer Pratt do for his 30th birthday? He watched his plastic girlfriend Heidi Montag jump out of a plastic cake at a strip club in Vegas. Woooo adulthood.

Spencer, looking a little fuller these days, celebrated the day of his birth inside the VIP section of famous strip club gentleman's club Crazy Horse III on Saturday along with Heidi and friends.

In the pics Heidi goes all Marilyn Monroe on a giant fake cake. Spencer looks pretty happy about it.

With her buxom non-biodegradable body parts spilling out onto the sand, bikini-clad reality star of yore Heidi Montag backed her thang up to a photographer's camera on the beach in L.A. on Thursday.

Former reality trainwreck Heidi Montag took a break from living in obscurity to wash up on the beach with all her augmented fake body parts in a skimpy red bikini in Santa Monica on Wednesday.

The 26-year-old former "The Hills" star -- who infamously had 10 plastic surgery procedures in one single day back in 2009 -- did some of her best acting while hamming it up for the cameras on the sand.

Coming up on the main stage ... Heeeeeeeidiiiiiiii Montag!!

TMZ has learned ... The former MTV reality star has struck a $25,000 deal to appear at the Crazy Horse III strip club in Vegas on October 19 ... but there's a pretty big catch.

Montag -- and her G-cup boobs -- will not be getting naked. So, patrons will only get a chance to throw money at giant unfamous boobs that night.

Montag was only hired to host the club's 3rd Year Anniversary Party.

Sources at the club tell us ... Spencer will accompany Heidi to the gentlemen's establishment.

Former "Hills" villain and half of one-time reality TV D-list supercouple Speidi ('memba them?), Spencer Pratt proved he's even larger now (left) than in his 2009 heyday (right) as he left a gas station in L.A. on Tuesday.

Look out K-Fed, because this is how Spencer rolls.

Now this is painful -- TMZ has learned, "Relationship Rehab" producers approached Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt to work out their issues on the show ... and the couple flat-out rejected their offer.

Speidi's reasoning -- they're actually on great terms ... and don't have any issues to work out.

Sources close to Speidi tell us, the couple was initially intrigued -- thinking the show was actually about working out together ... as in yoga, or something like it. They had no idea it was for couples with real issues.

For a second it seemed to be 2009 all over again, as once famous famewhores Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt (Speidi, anyone?) pretended to not know they were being photographed as they did something -- in this case, act all lovey dovey while skiing down a mountain -- on Thursday.

Spencer Pratt is telling friends he DOES NOT owe hundreds of thousands of dollars to his former agent, despite reports to the contrary ... because he's NEVER had an agent!!!

TMZ spoke with sources close to Pratt ... who tell us the couple worked with a lawyer when they were negotiating their deals for "The Hills" back in the day ... but they never involved an agency. We're told Spencer insists the lawyer was paid IN FULL.

We're told Spencer is now studying political science at USC ... and at the moment, he isn't actively pursuing work in Hollywood.

Pratt's 1990 Chevrolet C/K Pickup 2500 truck is currently on sale on eBay for $5K and has 177,000 miles on it.

While Mr. Montag recently spent $11K to rebuild the engine, he says he's selling it "because it gets too much attention driving a monster truck around L.A."

As we previously reported, Pratt went on the rampage recently -- calling "Sparah" a blatant rip-off ... and demanding Virgin Mobile pay him and Heidi money for bogarting Speidi's likeness in their new commercials.

But reps for "Sparah" -- the spoof celeb couple who stars in Virgin Mobile's new ad campaign -- tell us, Virgin's new duo has zero time to respond to Spencer's diatribe "due to their pressing endorsement commitments with Virgin Mobile and their frequent interactions with real celebrities."

Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fakest of them all?

If you haven't seen the commercials ... Virgin Mobile's new ad campaign is built entirely around a fake Hollywood couple called "Sparah" -- a mashup of the names Spencer and Sarah -- and Pratt is pissed he and Heidi have become the target of a national joke ... with no paycheck to show for it.

According to Spencer, Speidi's getting ripped off -- telling us, "They should being paying for using our likeness. It's obvious they are trying to be us."

Pratt doesn't stop there -- adding, he and Heidi "hate" Sparah ... "It's nuts how much [Virgin is] promoting them, when they are obviously copying us."

Sources connected with the restaurant-themed VH1 reality show tell TMZ, Spencer's been banned from the set since day one -- and Heidi herself AGREED to the injunction.

We're told producers were adamant ... Spencer wasn't allowed on the set, near the set, or to be involved in any way whatsoever -- and not wanting bad blood ... Heidi agreed to keep her man at bay.

Spencer tells TMZ, their bad ass friend -- MMA fighter "King" Kevin Casey -- will be throwing down at the Abu Dhabi Martial Arts Tournament on April 14 ... and they'll be ringside cheering him on.

Spencer adds, “Heidi and I are both so excited to visit the Middle East and even more thrilled to watch King Kevin Casey smash his opponents.”

TMZ has obtained a letter KFC President Roger Eaton sent to Pratt this week offering the lyrical genius (Pratt?) a sweet partnership with the company.

In the letter, Eaton says, "We heard the song came out before it was fully cooked, and that you were just winging it as a first cut. So on behalf of the entire Kentucky Fried Chicken family, we want to make you an offer so good you can't resist." Chicken puns ... free of charge.

Eaton continues, "We're willing to help you tune up the track and even turn it into a tasty music video, featuring the Colonel himself. That is, if you're not chicken."

Spencer afraid of a little attention? His response to the letter was, for once, simple -- "My dreams have come true!"

The details around the song are pretty fuzzy -- but we're told Spence recorded it at an L.A. studio last year ... and he was so ashamed of the final product ... it never saw the light of day ... until now.

A sample of the lyrics -- "Money ain't a thing / Nothing but a chicken wing / Call me Mr. KFC / S dot P in the flesh."