Taylor Armstrong Calling BS on Brandi Glanville's 'Stolen' Dog

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Taylor Armstrong does not believe a word Brandi Glanville says about her missing dog, calling the idea that the pooch was stolen just "a publicity stunt."

It didn't sound like a publicity stunt when Glanville called in to "TMZ Live" yesterday and began bawling hysterically as she talked about how someone broke into her home and stole one of her dogs.

Brandi's story is a little off (or at least, her assistant's version of the events is) and Taylor was in full agreement as she slammed her "RHOBH" co-star on her way into Aventine in Hollywood last night.

Whatever happened, let's just hope little Chica gets home safe.

Jose Canseco Cleared in Sexual Assault Case

Las Vegas cops have cleared former baseball slugger Jose Canseco of allegedly sexually assaulting a woman last month.

Vegas detectives have closed the case and will not seek criminal charges.

Canseco was adamant from the get go ... the woman's claims were BS and the two had consensual sex. He took his own polygraph to prove his innocence, and passed with flying colors.

As TMZ first reported, Canseco was photographed with the accuser just hours before the alleged incident, and the two seemed more than cozy.

Russian Prez Vladimir Putin The Most Civilized Divorce EVER

Vladimir Putin could teach Beverly Hills celebs like Kelsey Grammer a thing or 2 about divorce ... like announcing the end of your marriage after a lovely evening with your estranged wife at the ballet!

It's pretty incredible. Putin and his wife, Lyudmila Putina, walked out of a performance of Esmeralda at the Great Kremlin Palace when a reporter gingerly began asking the Prez questions about rumors -- rumors that the 2 were living apart. Putin responded directly ... almost matter-of-factly, "This is so."

The reporter wasn't satisfied, knowing there must be more. So he threw a Hail Mary: "I am afraid to say this word 'divorce.'" Lyudmila responded, "Yes, this is a civilized divorce."

No s**t.

Apparently the divorce isn't final yet. When it happens, it will end a 30-year marriage.

As for why ... Lyudmila has bitched about the fact that her hubby is all work and no play. But it seems like he plays, because there have been persistent rumors he's banging a gymnast half his age.

They don't call him Putin for nothin'.

MJ Estate Wade Robson Is FULL OF IT!

Lawyers for the Michael Jackson Estate are scoffing at Wade Robson's creditor's claim ... saying it's absurd he had no idea for nearly 4 YEARS that the Estate was being probated and there was a deadline for filing claims.

Attorney Howard Weitzman wrote incredulously ... the MJ probate is one of the most high-profile ever, and Wade is very connected in the music biz. So, Weitzman asks, how could it be he had no idea there was a deadline of 4 months after the Estate proceedings began to file a creditor's claim?

TMZ broke the story ... Robson has filed the claim, alleging MJ molested him for 7 years -- between the ages of 7 and 14.

Weitzman is asking the judge to reject Robson's claim on grounds it was filed ridiculously late.

John Travolta Wedding Crasher

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to .... HEY, IS THAT JOHN TRAVOLTA?!?

Some very cool pics of Travolta posing with a wedding party in Georgia hit the Internet this week ... and the story goes JT unexpectedly dropped by after meeting the bride and groom at a local bar the night before.

It's unclear why John was in town -- some reports say he was renewing his pilot's license ... other reports say he was donating an old plane to a local museum.

But either way ... pretty cool move -- and the happy couple seemed thrilled by their surprise guest.

No word if he sent a gift.

Michael Jackson Superfan Anted Up $16K To Fly Banners Over Trial

One of Michael Jackson's biggest fans is SO CONVINCED there's something fishy about his death ... that she dropped $16,800 on her credit cards to have conspiracy-theory banners flown all over the L.A. area ... TMZ has learned.

The message-towing planes mysteriously started buzzing L.A. 2 weeks ago with banners like, "FOLLOW THE $ TO MICHAEL JACKSON'S DEATH" ... and "LAPD -- HONOR BOUND TO TELL TRUTH FOR MJ."

Sources connected to AirSign, the company flying the banners, confirmed to TMZ ... a Hollywood costume shop worker paid for 11 flights over several locations including the downtown L.A. courthouse where Michael's wrongful death lawsuit is going on right now.

The woman, who wants to remain anonymous, tells us ... "I'm hoping that someone will look at those messages and say, 'If someone feels that strongly about it, maybe this is worth looking into."

As for the massive cc debt ... she says she can handle it because she's single and kid-free.

And in case you think she's totally nuts ... she does have one connection to MJ. The shop where she works supplied some costumes for "This Is It."

Totally worth it.

Miranda Kerr I Have A Girl Crush ... and She's Super Hot

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If Miranda Kerr could ditch that lucky bastard Orlando Bloom for some sweet lady love ... the super hot supermodel tells TMZ ... there's only ONE WOMAN that could satisfy her craving.

Kerr hit NYC Tuesday -- in a skin tight dress -- when we asked the most important question of her career: DOES SHE HAVE A GIRL CRUSH?

Turns out ... yes, yes she does.

BONUS -- Kerr's fantasy chick HAS been in a girl-girl relationship in the past.

Just sayin' ...

Miley Cyrus NOT Singing About Ecstasy ... Says Producer

Miley Cyrus is NOT singing about ecstasy in her new single "We Can't Stop" ... despite what seems to be an OBVIOUS lyrical reference to the drug ... so says the guy who produced the track.

The controversy is centered around the hook of the song -- in which it SOUNDS like Miley's saying, "We like to party/ Dancing with Molly/ Doing whatever we want.”

Unhip Old Person Translation: "Dancing with Molly" is slang for partying on ecstasy.

But a rep for the song's producer Mike WiLL Made It tells TMZ ... the whole thing is a giant misunderstanding because what Cyrus is REALLY singing is ... "Dancing with MILEY."

As for the lyric about people "trying to get a line in the bathroom" ... the rep wouldn't say if Miley was talking about cocaine ... but HELLO?!?!?!?

Shaq's Alleged Mistress DESTROYED BY JUDGE You're a Dirty Liar

HUGE legal victory for Shaq -- the lawsuit filed by an alleged ex-mistress who claimed the NBA star harassed her following their breakup has been dismissed ... because the judge says she's a dirty LIAR.

As we reported, Vanessa Lopez filed her lawsuit against Shaq back in 2010 claiming she was his mistress for 5 years ... and once she broke up with him, he launched a campaign to harass her and make her fear for her safety.

But the Florida judge just lowered the legal boom on Lopez in his ruling -- claiming the court CAUGHT HER in several lies ... proving it's impossible to believe anything that comes out of her mouth.

"[Lopez] lied often. She lied about facts important to the defense, and she demonstrated an utter disrespect for the system of justice," the judge stated.

Among Lopez's lies -- the judge says Vanessa claimed she "did not know of" any previous restraining orders that had been issued against her ... when there were official records showing she was hit with one stemming from a case involving an ex-boyfriend.

The judge says there's also proof she lied about her legal history with NBA star Kenyon Martin ... who had accused her of stealing his credit card and running up charges.

And there's this ... Vanessa's lawyers completely deserted her almost immediately following her deposition earlier this year ... a huge red flag.

Lopez's lawsuit was dismissed on the basis of fraud on the court -- with prejudice, meaning she can't refile.

Michael Douglas' Ex-Wife My Lady Junk Was Clean as a Whistle

Michael Douglas' ex-wife wants to make something perfectly clear -- eating out was safe when he was married to her.

Douglas told a British paper over the weekend ... his 2010 throat cancer was "caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus."

Diandra Douglas -- whose epic divorce from Michael in 2000 was one of the richest marital settlements in history -- tells TMZ she does NOT have HPV ... period.

Guess the ball is in your court now, CZJ.

Scott Weiland Stone Temple Pilots BETRAYED ME!

Scott Weiland says he wants millions of dollars as a fabulous parting gift from the lackeys in Stone Temple Pilots who conspired to boot him from the group.

TMZ broke the story ... STP sued Weiland, claiming he sabotaged its 20th anniversary tour by being chronically late for performances, missing promotional gigs and improperly using STP's name to promote his solo career.

Weiland has now filed a countersuit, accusing the 3 other members of secretly plotting his ouster. Weiland says it's particularly galling, rhetorically asking, "How do you expel a man from the band that he started, named, sang lead on every song, wrote the lyrics, and was the face of for twenty years?"

Weiland now wants to thwart the efforts of the remaining members to grab the STP name, asking that a judge formally dissolve the band partnership.

Weiland also wants a minimum of $7 mil in damages.

Lou Ferrigno Bruce Banner Was Too Gay for Television

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Dr. Bruce Banner became Dr. David Banner for the "Incredible Hulk" TV show back in the 1970s, and Lou Ferrigno says the name change came about because CBS thought the name Bruce was "gay-ish."

Our photog spotted Ferrigno at LAX this weekend and after hitting him up for some fitness tips, our photog asked him why the Hulk got the name change for the show. Ferrigno explained that back in 1977, CBS felt the name Bruce "was kinda gay-ish."

Clearly that's ridiculous ... if anything was gay about the show, it was a guy running around with jeans and no shirt on.

Joe Simpson I Still Love Nick Lachey ... Even If He Trashed Me

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Joe Simpson's quite a forgiving guy ... 'cause Jessica's dad tells TMZ he would still have a beer with Nick Lachey ... even after his daughter's ex-hubby TRASHED him on national television.

It was just last month that Nick went on "Watch What Happens Live" and told Andy Cohen ... the best part of divorcing Jessica was not having to play grab ass under the table w/ Joe at family events.

But Joe -- who hit up Greystone Manor with 3 pretty hot chicks this weekend -- told us he still "loves" Nick after the diss ... and praised him for being a good husband to his daughter.

Sidenote -- at one point in the video, Joe's hot friend in the pink dress addresses the gay rumors ... even though nobody really asked her. So, check that out.

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Dan Harmon Returning to 'Community' One Year After Firing

He's baaaaaaaaack!!!

Dan Harmon, the creator of "Community" who was unceremoniously dumped from the show last year, is finalizing his deal to return to the show, so says The Hollywood Reporter. THR says the deal should be closed in the coming days.

Harmon's return has been rumored for the last week, and he tweeted earlier today, "Yes yes yes! I'm back I'm back I'm back. You can thank @joelmchale" in response to a fan's question.

He also tweeted earlier several times about the gloriousness of a certain airport bar, so take that for what it's worth.

Beyonce Cheers ... to Not Being Pregnant?

Rather than simply come out and say "I am not pregnant" ... Beyonce chose to deflect the rumors once again ... this time by posting a photo of her drinking a glass of wine with hubby Jay-Z.

Rumors of Bey being knocked up have been swirling for weeks, beginning when she canceled a concert in Belgium and cited the dreaded "exhaustion and dehydration."

She also posted (and quickly deleted) a diatribe on Instagram slamming the rumors ... but at no point has she ever denied them.

This photo doesn't put the rumors to rest either ... doctors aren't completely against a pregnant woman having a glass of wine every now and again. So we ask ...

Beyonce pregnancy mystery

Amanda Bynes More Strange Behavior In Buffalo

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TMZ has obtained video appearing to show Amanda Bynes walking the streets of Buffalo, NY moments ago -- but the strange part ... she keeps telling the photog, "We're not in Buffalo."

The footage was shot by a self-described "fan" who tells us he noticed Bynes wandering around aimlessly ... sporting huge sunglasses and a brown wig ... and decided to strike up a conversation with her.

The woman never denies that she's Amanda Bynes -- but when asked why she's in Buffalo, she repeatedly tells the photog, "We're not in Buffalo."

We reached out to Bynes via email -- but she wouldn't confirm or deny if she was actually in Buffalo.

If it's NOT Bynes in the video ... it certainly would be a helluva coincidence -- 'cause the lady in Buffalo doesn't just bear a striking resemblance to Amanda, she also has the same tattoo on her arm.