Oprah Can't Drop the Deuce

It's possibly a lil' TMI, but Oprah Winfrey says she's back to 200 lbs. and she's "mad" at herself for letting it all go to ... her waistline.

"I'm embarrassed," says O, in the new issue of her mag. "I can't believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I'm still talking about my weight ... 'How did I let this happen again?'" Apparently since slimming down to 160 in '06, she's put on 40 big ones.

And even a child can figure out what that adds up to.

Fantasia -- Foreclosure's Just a Fantasy!

Fantasia Barrino says reports she's about to lose a house are hogwash.

Reports say the "AI" winner is about to lose one of her homes in Charlotte, NC: She bought the 6-bed, 6,000-sq. ft. mansion back in 2007 for $1.3 mil (not a misprint) but couldn't keep up on payments. So the county will be auctioning off the house on January 12, 2009 unless she ponies up. She's also got another house nearby.

A relative of the singer tells the New York Post the whole thing is just a misunderstanding and she couldn't make a court hearing to address the issue, and her lawyer didn't immediately comment.

Crates and Barrels and Lies About Weddings

Fine. If Josh and Fergie want to lie to our face ... fine. But we're gonna call it as we see it.

Crates and Barrels and Lies About Weddings

The rumored-to-be-engaged couple looked like they were picking out gifts for their wedding registry at Crate and Barrel this weekend -- because they were picking up and scanning a whole bunch of items in the store.

But after the scan-fest, Josh and Fergie -- who only left with one box -- claimed they were only shopping for X-Mas gifts ... no wedding stuff. We're calling full-on B.S.

What do you think?

Janet Jacko Not Knocko-ed Up

Everyone's still wondering why Janet Jackson bailed on most of her "comeback" tour –- the one guy who would probably know says it's not because she was PG.

Jermaine Dupri tells Hollyscoop.com his woman isn't knocked up, despite the scuttlebutt. Dupri even called out certain members of gossiping classes for spreading false rumors.

Nonetheless, Janet hasn't totally pooh-poohed the idea of bringing more spawn of Jacko into the world: "I'd love to have children. It's just up to Jermaine, what he wants to do." Do the right thing, Jermaine.

Jamie Lynn Lipo -- Big, Fat Lies

Sources tell TMZ Jamie Lynn Spears is swelling up with anger over one gossip mag's claims she had lipo while pregnant -- so much so that she may take legal action.

We're told the story is "100% NOT true" -- that Jamie Lynn has never had lipo and would "never in her life" do anything like it.

Calls to Jamie Lynn's publicist have not been returned.

Gordon's Maybe-Mistress Sacked for Big Mouth

The self-confessed skank behind the Gordon Ramsay affair allegations got fired from her job as an infidelity spokesperson for -- get this -- allegedly opening her mouth too damn much!

A website that specializes in hooking up married people behind their spouses backs called The Ashley Madison Agency allegedly fired Sarah Symonds as their UK spokescheater because she wasn't "discreet enough" for their liking. Symonds wrote a book about being a mistress and has been named the "other woman" in several high-profile affairs.

The "Hells Kitchen" star had steadfastly has denied any affair. We've been attempting to contact Sarah -- no luck yet.

Speidi to Procreate?!

Just what the world needs... little annoying, blonde, jobless kiddies running around.

Right after the vomit-inducing twosome returned home from their elope-a-dope in Cabo San Lucas, they confirmed the rumor -- they're going to start a family.

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'Hell's Kitchen' Chef Skewers Affair Rumors

Gordon Ramsay claims he's not screwing around on his wife, and the "Hell's Kitchen" star is making sure everyone -- including his dear mum -- knows it.

Gordo went on attack during a guest appearance on a BBC cooking show yesterday, telling the crowd that the tabloid reports running rampant in the UK are "a load of bull" -- of course, his mother and family were in the audience, so what else was he going to say?

The Brit tabs have been on fire accusing him of having an affair with Sarah Symonds, who just happens to be a spokeslut for AshleyMadison.com, the cheaters' dating site.

Ramsay hadn't spoken out about the allegations until yesterday.

Speidi's Elope-a-Dope -- For the Love of Money

Not even marriage is sacred to self-proclaimed Jesus freak Heidi Montag -- because it looks like her "marriage" to Spencer Pratt was just an elaborate ploy to cash in.

After MonPrat "eloped" in Cabo San Lucas last week, they sold their story and photos. And the joke may be on the publications, because the "marriage" was as fake as Heidi's breasts.

Angelina -- Oven is Empty, Don't Ask Again

If you heard recently Angelina Jolie is pregnant with the latest member of the Jolie-Pitt football club, it's not true.

So says Angie's rep Geyer Kosinski to Usmagazine.com. The glossies had been crowing about AJ announcing the pregnancy at a London restaurant (which allegedly displeased Brad Pitt) or moving the filming of her latest flick up because she was preggers. But "on-set sources" tell Us no schedule change had happened -- and have ya seen Ang lately?

The Jolie-Pitts have six children.

Wino. Hospital. Meds. Yes, Again.

That's pretty much all you needed to know, but in case you need it spelled out: Amy Winehouse went to the hospital on Sunday after another "bad reaction" to medication.

Her rep says she was admitted to the London Clinic but wouldn't say what med landed her there. British sources say she may have had a "seizure." This is now the 8,276th time this year she has gone to the hospital.

Though it's unclear if the rejection of hubby Blake's appeal yesterday had anything to do with her latest tribulation, we're thinking ... probably not.

Phelps -- What Brown Can Do for Him

Michael Phelps has been a frequent guest at the Palms in Las Vegas, and not just for the poker. So to speak.

The gold-medalist has been spending plenty of time "in the company of a fetching brunette" who works at the Palms, reports the Las Vegas Review-Journal. He's definitely been playing lots of cards, preparing to enter the World Series of Poker next year.

In case this sounds familiar, George Clooney met his ex-GF Sarah Larson when she was waitressing at the Palms. And Phelps has publicly dated beauty queen Nicole Johnson.

Miley's B-day -- Spit for Tat

Miley Cyrus officially turned 16 yesterday, even though she's been celebrating it for ... about a year.

And there were untold levels of Freudian complexity over the b-day weekend, according to Perez Hilton, who reports Miley, BF Justin Gaston, and dad Billy Ray Cyrus went to tattoo parlor on Friday night. It was papa C who got inked up, while Miley and Justin swapped saliva during the tatting-up.

You may want to put down your oatmeal spoon now.

It Would Make Shiloh Look Fugly

Two things about the New York Post story that Megan Fox confessed (after a few drinks) she had a crush on Zac Efron.

Thing one: If they had a kid the modeling contract alone would set records. Thing two: If Zac could hit that who cares that Robert Pattinson is the new Zac Efron.

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Paris -- Not Madden Love with Stavros

Paris and Benji may have split -- for now -- but she says those pics of her sleazing it up with ex-BF Stavros Niarchos had nothing to do with it.

Hilton just did an interview on KIIS-FM, where she explained the compromising pics, the real reasons they parted and actually kept it classy for once -- by even promoting Benji's upcoming CD.

She also said they are just "on a break." That worked so well for Ross & Rachel.

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Cody Linley -- Cutie to Douchey on "DWTS"

The kid bro of "Dancing with the Stars" -- Cody Linley -- has gone from boy wonder to ... oh boy.

"Perhaps there was a touch of the diva there all the time," a show staffer tells the Chicago Sun-Times. "But it sure has come to the surface now -- in a major way. He's always whining about something or someone." As for reports of on-set boozing or happy hands, sources say it isn't so.

But resentment still lurks: "After working with him for a couple months, you learn he isn't sweet at all."