Dancing with the Stars

Obama explained that each bird had to compete in a feathery beauty pageant set to music -- insisting it was like a "turkey version of 'Dancing with the Stars' ... except the stakes for the contestants was much higher."

He continued, "Only one pair would survive and win the big prize -- LIFE ... and an all expenses paid trip to Washington ... where they've been living it up on corn feed at the W hotel."

These two move quick.

Ultimately, Bristol finished 3rd -- Kyle came in 2nd ... but we gotta ask ...

Here's how it breaks down -- sources tell TMZ, in addition to Bristol's personal security, there will be 2 bomb-sniffing K-9 units and 12 undercover guards ... some LAPD, some private security ... all armed.

We're told it's the first time they've had this much firepower on set -- and it makes sense ... because as we first reported, Bristol and Mark Ballas have received several death threats ... and if that wasn't enough ... we're told Mama Palin herself is expected to show up.

Sources tell TMZ Bristol -- along with the rest of the show's cast and crew -- will be served one hell of a last supper before this season's champion is crowned later tonight ... which includes:

-- Lobster Tail
-- Prime Rib
-- Chicken Rockefeller
-- Crab Legs
-- Tri-Color Tortellini
-- Mashed Potatoes
-- Potato bar
-- Corn
-- Asparagus
-- Salad Bar
-- Sundae Bar

Bon appetit!

We're told the threats began to come in last week, after Bristol and Mark made the finals. Execs on the show told Mark to stop tweeting because it was inciting people. Mark complied.

Sources connected with the show tell us extra security will be on hand tonight for the show. And, if Bristol and Mark head to New York, execs are talking about breaking format and not doing their interview outside in Times Square -- but rather in the studio, where it's more secure.

TMZ broke the story ... a staffer on the show opened a "fan letter" to Bristol on Friday and white powder fell out. Turns out it was talcum powder, but the FBI is investigating nonetheless.

The rep continues, "Initial field screening was negative for hazardous substances but will be transported to a regional lab for further testing. A joint investigation is continuing."
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Cops and other emergency responders raced to CBS Television City studio late Friday after a white powder substance was discovered by a member of the "Dancing with the Stars" staff ... and sources tell us Bristol Palin may have been the intended target.

Law enforcement sources tell us a powder substance was discovered by a member of the "Dancing" staff ... and sources connected to the show tell us a section of the studio containing "Dancing" offices was evacuated.

Local authorities claim Steven Cowan (left) told officers that he felt Palin was not a good dancer and that she was only on the show because of her famous mother.

Officials say Cowan was so pissed after Monday's show -- that he fired at his television set and then aimed the gun at his wife ... though she managed to escape the house.

The SWAT team surrounded the home -- but negotiators were able to talk Cowan into surrendering early Tuesday morning. Authorities claim Cowan suffers from bipolar disorder.

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The Sitch's manager (pictured above) tells us the car was only a rental -- and it was the manager's rental, not The Situation's. The manager tells us he was backing up the car and didn't notice the truck behind him had its lift down -- so when he hit the lift and tried to pull forward, it ripped the bumper almost clean off.

It all went down in Hollywood ... right after Sitch left Playhouse nightclub with a few members of his crew. The "Jersey Shore" star rolled into a waiting SUV and took off ... but moments later, the car was stopped on the side of the road ... next to an LAPD squad car with flashing lights.

It's unclear why the police got involved -- but both The Situation and his friends got out of their SUV and had a friendly exchange with the officers ... who never got out of their squad car.

As we first reported, Susan was set to sing "Hallelujah" on the show tomorrow. But a rep for the show confirmed to TMZ she won't be appearing this week -- no word yet on rescheduling.

A source tells us Susan missed a flight to L.A. today. She was supposed to tape her performance on the "DWTS" set this evening.

We're told host Tom Bergeron will address the issue on tonight's show.

Sources close to the show tell TMZ Audrina tweaked her ankle during rehearsals yesterday and she was tended to by on-set physicians. Not to worry though ... we're told it's just a minor sprain and Audrina is "pushing through."

Count yourself lucky, Audrina ... it could have been worse.