Comedy

Tom Segura is opening up on the awful injury he suffered while playing basketball in 2020 ... saying the damage was so bad, he couldn't even wipe his own ass.

The 42-year-old comedian ruined his arm and leg while attempting a dunk during a hoops sesh with fellow funny guy Bert Kreischer ... and if you haven't seen the video yet -- it's worse than you could ever imagine.

But, if you REALLY wanna check it out, click here -- but you've been warned. IT. IS. BAD!!!

In fact, Segura even needed a nerve transfer to help fix his arm ... after he already had pins and screws put in.

Segura joined Big Cat and PFT Commenter on Barstool Sports' "Pardon My Take" to break down the days following the incident ... saying he couldn't even feel his leg injury because his brain was focused on his arm.

"I was just like, 'Oh my God, my arm is so f***ed,'" Segura said. "And it was shattered. So I was just like, 'Goddammit.' And they were just giving me f***ing Dilaudid into my neck. I was like, 'Give me more!!'"

But, the severe pain medication -- along with a nerve blocker in his leg -- came with some crappy consequences ... and Segura gave every detail about the "assistance" he needed from nurses in order to go #2 at the hospital.

Yeah ... we're not going to put it into writing, but you can use your imagination or check out the clip.

However, Segura said he couldn't even wipe his tush on his own when he WAS able to take care of business ... and shared the hilarious reaction one nurse had when he found out what he was going to have to do to help out.

'SNL' showed a different angle of that slap, and it's hilarious!!!

Chris Redd played Will Smith flawlessly, as he jawboned with a fan just before hearing the "G.I. Jane" joke. It's manic, even somewhat believable, but undeniably funny.

We won't give you the blow-by-blow ... watch the video -- it's worth the time.

'SNL' doing the slap was as predictable as the sunrise, and the show delivered several times during the program.

Thing is ... the skit plays off real-life -- Will laughing at Chris Rock's joke, then becoming enraged and later tearfully taking the stage. Manic seems like the proper label.

And, speaking of tearful ... the one thing that got the waterworks going was when "Will" makes a comment about "Red Table Talk."

Smith subsequently addressed the altercation in his Best Actor acceptance speech, in which he apologized to the Academy and his fellow nominees but not to Rock. Smith followed up with a written apology to Rock on Instagram on Monday. Smith has since resigned from the Academy as he was facing a suspension or expulsion.

Gunna served as the musical guest, performing his hit song "pushin P," while Jerrod Carmichael hosted the episode and had a hilarious monologue where he shared his own jokes on the Will Smith-Chris Rock Oscars slap.

On "Weekend Update" Michael Che and Colin Jost got in on the action, saying, "Intelligence officials are saying that Vladimir Putin is being misinformed by his advisors about how badly the Russian military is performing in Ukraine, which is kind of like Will Smith's agent telling him, 'You crushed it at the Oscars!'"

Jost wasn't done, saying Will's actions were "disgraceful" ... because it sets "a terrible precedent for having to defend your wife at awards shows."

Che noted that during his acceptance speech after landing the award for Best Actor, the "King Richard" star said, "Love will make you do crazy things."

And, then there's this ... Smith could join others who have been booted by the Academy -- Bill Cosby, Roman Polanski and Harvey Weinstein -- Or as Colin puts it, "Bad Boys For Life."

As the Will Smith-Chris Rock feud simmers down, so too has another long-standing beef in Hollywood -- namely, the one between Mo'Nique and Lee Daniels ... which is awesome.

The two stars officially buried the hatchet Friday night at the Mo'Nique's comedy show in Staten Island, where she brought out Daniels as a surprise guest ... and even more surprising tender moment between them, where they put their problems to bed, at long last.

Somebody filmed a portion of their reconciliation on stage, and LD uttered moving words ... "I am so sorry for hurting you in any way that I did," which made Mo'Nique tear up.

Daniels went on to say that they were best friends before their very public falling out -- and that them working on "Precious" together, for which Mo'Nique won an Oscar, was God working through them ... while also saying they were going to do it again, before embracing.

BTW, he's not kidding there -- Mo'Nique was cast to replace Octavia Spencer in Daniels' new Netflix film "Demon House" ... so it would seem her problems with them are also resolved.

Both Lee and Mo'Nique also posted the same photo of them hugging and kissing backstage, with each of them saying that no caption was needed -- and that it was all love now.

Unclear what exactly precipitated this come-to-Jesus moment, but all we can say is ... thank goodness, because their fight has been one of the ugliest back and forths in Hollywood in a very long time -- and it's absolutely fantastic to see they've set their differences aside.

A refresher ... this started in the aftermath of "Precious" winning big at the Oscars in 2010, with Mo'Nique claiming Lee, Oprah and Tyler Perry bad-mouthed her, allegedly saying she was difficult ... this after she refused to do extra press for the flick without more compensation.

In light of that, Mo'Nique firmly believed it got her blackballed from the biz. Now, we've spoken to Mo'Nique at length about this throughout the years, and she not only doubled down ... but tripled down time and again about what she thought had happened.

Lee himself refuted her characterization in very strong terms -- saying it was she who blackballed herself for the nonstop finger-pointing. Even Steve Harvey echoed that.

Like we said ... really venomous stuff. Which is why it's so great to see they've mended fences and are now teaming up again for what sounds like an awesome movie.

Chris Rock's brother, Tony Rock, went in hard over the slap, and not just on Will Smith, saying, "You gonna hit my motherf***ing brother because your bitch gave you a side-eye?"

The Shade Room got video of Tony on stage during his set.

Tony has already made his outrage toward Will clear, but he tripled down at a comedy gig. After taking the stage, he said, "If you think you gonna to walk up on this stage, this ain't the motherf***king Oscars! And if you walk your ass up here, you ain't nominated for s*** but these mother****ing hands! Oh, we going Pac the rest of the year, n****. Every time you see me do a show, Pac!" Referencing late rapper Tupac, who, by the way ... used to date Jada Pinkett Smith.

Chris' baby bro has already said, Will's Insta apology to Chris doesn't cut it. As we reported, Will and Chris have not spoken since the slap and Chris has not publicly or privately accepted Smith's mea culpa.

Chris Rock had another sold-out performance Friday night in Boston, and he left without a trace of emotion, and probably for good reason.

Chris looked stoic as he booked it out of the Wilbur Theater. No way to read his reaction to Will Smith resigning from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. As we've been reporting, Chris has largely avoided the post-slap drama, and based on what we know from our Chris sources it's highly likely he didn't even know Will resigned.

Chris is sticking to his routine ... not letting the slap hijack his comedy act. Fans undeniably wanted to hear from him, but Chris says he'll probably address it later and warned it will be serious and funny.

TMZ broke the story ... multiple sources connected to Chris told us Oscar producer, Will Packer, was lying when he said Chris told him he did not want Will Smith booted from the Oscars. Packer made it seem that's what convinced the Academy to allow Will to stay. Our sources say the ONLY thing Chris said was he did not want Will arrested and he just wanted to leave.

Will Smith has resigned from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences after slapping Chris Rock ... TMZ has confirmed.

Will wrote the following to the Academy's disciplinary committee ... "I will fully accept any and all consequences for my conduct. My actions at the 94th Academy Awards presentation were shocking, painful, and inexcusable."

He goes on ... "The list of those I have hurt is long and includes Chris, his family, many of my dear friends and loved ones, all those in attendance, and global audiences at home. I betrayed the trust of the Academy. I deprived other nominees and winners of their opportunity to celebrate and be celebrated for their extraordinary work. I am heartbroken."

And, there's more ... “I want to put the focus back on those who deserve attention for their achievements and allow the Academy to get back to the incredible work it does to support creativity and artistry in film. So, I am resigning from membership in the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and will accept any further consequences the board deems appropriate."

He concludes by saying ... “Change takes time and I am committed to doing the work to ensure that I never again allow violence to overtake reason.”

The Academy is expected to hand down its disciplinary decision in a few weeks.

Chris Rock's getting rowdy support from fans after the Oscars slap in the form of at least one person cussing at Will Smith, but the comedian isn't having it ... and Thursday night he quickly defused the situation.

Chris had his 2nd show at Boston's Wilbur Theater briefly interrupted when someone in the crowd shouted out, "F*** Will Smith" -- and Chris heard it immediately, repeatedly saying ... "No, no no" until the chant stopped.

Security reportedly tossed hecklers out left and right, whether they were supporting Chris or not. One kicked-out fan told the New York Post, "All we did was interact and respond to the comedian ... They are so afraid that someone is going to say something that they kicked us out before we could."

Chris did eventually crack a joke about the situation -- reacting to one heckler with, "Is that the Oscars security?"

As we reported, Chris kicked off his "Ego Death" comedy tour at the Wilbur Wednesday night, and briefly addressed the Oscars slap from Will Smith, joking "How was your weekend?"

He told the audience he was still processing what happened and wasn't ready to fully address it.

Chris Rock kicked off his comedy tour in Boston to thunderous applause, but he said he's still processing what went down at the Oscars so he'll talk about the slap later, but he did tease the crowd.

Chris played to a hyper-enthusiastic, sold-out crowd at the Wilbur Theater in Boston, and joked, "How was your weekend?" The crowd loved it.

He then said, "I don't have a bunch of s*** about what happened, so if you came to hear that, I have a whole show I wrote before this weekend. I'm still kind of processing what happened," adding, "So, at some point, I'll talk about that s***.  And it will be serious and funny."

So he didn't say whether he accepted Will Smith's apology, although as we reported, our sources say he has not talked to Smith and has not addressed Smith's Instagram mea culpa. Based on what we know, he's not accepting the apology, at least not now.

Chris walked out in a white suit to a huge ovation, and almost seemed surprised, exclaiming, "Whoa, okay!" The applause didn't subside, and Rock implored the crowd, "Yo, let me do the show!"

After Chris' brief opening comments, an audience member screamed, "F*** Will Smith!"

He then said, "I'm going to tell some jokes. It's nice to just be out." And then he launched into his act.

Get this ... the base price for tickets was $50, but after the slap, the price on the street approached as high as $8,000!

As we reported, the President and CEO of the Academy had told Will to leave the Dolby Theatre after the slap, but he refused, and the 2 honchos were, as one source put it, "apoplectic." They were screaming backstage at Will's rep ... it was an insane scene, we're told.

Charles Barkley better keep his head on a swivel -- Shaquille O'Neal says he'll follow Will Smith's lead and slap the hell outta his TNT co-host ... dropping the playful threat in a hilarious freestyle rap.

The Big Aristotle made the comment at his surprise belated birthday party at Steak Market in Atlanta on Wednesday ... when the crowd of about 250 people asked him to get up to the DJ booth and give them a set.

The NBA legend ended up grabbing the mic and spitting off the dome for about 10 minutes instead ... name-dropping his "Inside the NBA" friends and referencing the infamous Oscars moment in the process.

"Tomorrow I'm on TNT, with f***ing Kenny, with f***ing Chuck, I might Will Smith his ass I don't give a f***," Shaq raps.

Unlike the real interaction, everyone loved the reference ... cheering and laughing after Shaq dropped the line.

Now, Shaq and Chuck have had a playful rivalry for years ... with both Hall of Famers going back and forth at every possible opportunity.

O'Neal was letting the insults fly on more than just Barkley, though -- he even brought up LeBron James while dissing a dude's hairline ... which was a crowd favorite as well.

The whole bash looked fun as hell -- it was sponsored by D'usse, so you know the adult beverages were flowing.

Celebs like Bobby Valentino and 2 Chainz were also in attendance ... as well as a tiger.

As for Shaq's birthday, it was March 6 ... but hey, better late than never!!

If Chris Rock is looking to serve up a dish of revenge on Will Smith, a Slapfighting organization is willing to provide everything the legendary comedian needs to smack the hell out of the A-list actor.

SlapFIGHT Championship puts on slap fights (like the name sounds -- there are 5 weight classes, and competitors slap each other until someone quits or goes to sleep) ... and the org. tells TMZ Sports they're offering a safe and controlled place for the two entertainers to slap each other silly in an exhibition match.

JT Tilley, the CEO, says he'd like to see Rock seek revenge on Smith after the incident at the Oscars.

"I made an offer," Tilley tells us, adding, "I would love to host an exhibition match between them two and make it safe as possible."

Tilley says SlapFIGHT fans definitely want this fight to happen ... with many declaring Rock would win if it went down.

"Our fans (via social media) think Chris Rick would be the winner," Tilley says, "because he obviously has a strong chin."

That doesn't mean Will -- who is about 6'2", 200 lbs.-- won't be good at the sport ... in fact, Tilley says the 53-year-old's slap technique is similar to their top fighter, middleweight champ Wolverine.

If they're not interested in competing, Tilley says he'd like to host Chris and Will at one of their fights. But of course, a rematch sounds better.

"I would like to give them a chance to settle their differences," Tilley says.

Will Smith's slap has at least one comedy club on its toes and ready to defend its talent at all costs -- going so far as to post a very clear sign ... no slapping allowed, period!

Dani Zoldan -- who owns Stand Up NY in the Big Apple -- tells TMZ ... management decided to tape up a message in their storefront window that directly addresses the Chris Rock moment, as a way to discourage would-be copycats who might now feel emboldened.

The poster is in a bit of a meme format, with the snapshot of Chris getting slapped crossed out with a big "NO" sign streaked across the front, and a shot of Will crying right next to it.

Their message, "Comedians play a critical role in our society, especially during times of chaos and uncertainty. They make us laugh, bring perspective and remind us there are different ways of seeing our reality." More importantly, they add ... "Comics must be protected."

Then comes a warning from Stand Up NY ... "Heckling and physical abuse of comics is prohibited, and patrons will be immediately removed from the showroom." Their crying WS photo has a description -- saying that'll be you if you get a little slaphappy on the premises.

Zoldan emphatically disavows Will's actions, reaffirming his establishment's note -- that comedians are here to entertain us and make us laugh ... and that they deserve respect.

As for other big-time comedy clubs ... they seem to be keeping an eye on things -- but not necessarily enacting any policy changes in response to the Will-Chris smack. That includes the Comedy Cellar in NYC, Carolines on Broadway and even the Laugh Factory here in L.A.

Late-night talk hosts are sinking their teeth into Will Smith's slap heard-round-the-world, with some going harder than others ... and at least one didn't really bite at all.

Jimmy Fallon opted to tread very lightly, but Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel took much more direct approaches -- so, we'll start with them.

JK recapped the entire saga well... sprinkling in light jabs toward Will, like joking that while he hoped to be invited back, he also might be waiting for the Academy in the parking lot if he doesn't get the call.

Colbert was even harsher... taking a bunch of shots at Will and his movies (calling those flicks the worst thing he's ever done aside from this), and also criticizing Oscars producers for letting Will give a long acceptance speech without much consequence at all.

Seth Meyers didn't hit the subject himself, but instead, let one of his writers, comedian Amber Ruffin, do a bit in which she recounted the horror of watching it go down with flowery prose and poetic language.

Not nearly as funny as the first 2 guys, but an interesting way to dissect it.

James Corden, meanwhile, found a very creative way to analyze the whole thing ... invoking 'We Don't Talk About Bruno' -- the smash-hit Disney song from "Encanto" -- but applied it to Will/Jada.

It was pretty funny, and made for quite the musical number ... which is right in James' wheelhouse. Dude loves to sing and dance -- and he didn't miss the opportunity here.

Finally, there was Fallon ... who clearly did not want to get into it very much at all -- not even saying Will Smith or Chris Rock's name, but glossing over the moment almost entirely and pivoting to Russia news.

That might have to do with the fact that Jimmy is known to have a close relationship with Rock -- dating back to his 'SNL' days -- but as a late-night host, also wants to have Will on as a guest ... so it's possible he's opting to stay on the sidelines.

Most of the hosts said the obvious ... that violence is unacceptable, and considering the serious nature of the situation -- it's cool they found a way to break it down with some humor, which is what they're paid to do.

Will, meanwhile, has since apologized to Chris ... but CR himself has been mum following the whole thing.

The Academy is investigating -- although it's fairly clear what happened here -- and it remains to be seen what, if any, consequences Will may face.

Ricky Gervais couldn't stop himself from joining the Will Smith-Chris Rock Oscars drama, and seemingly backing Chris ... tweeting a clip from "The Office" that pokes fun at alopecia.

Gervais retweeted the clip Monday from his David Brent account -- his character on the OG British version of the show -- and it shows David trying to win over his employees by taking them out for drinks at lunchtime.

Ricky's full line in the scene shows him joking about Alcoholics Anonymous, saying "I know someone who is an alcoholic and it is no laughing matter - particularly for his wife. And, she's got alopecia. So ... not a happy home life."

Now, it's not like Ricky captioned it with anything about the Oscars, but it's clearly the only relevance ... coming the day after Rock dropped his "G.I. Jane 2" quip at Jada Pinkett Smith -- who as you know has alopecia -- and, thereby, triggering Will's now-infamous slap.

Jada had announced last year she shaved her head after being diagnosed with alopecia. As TMZ reported ... Rock did not know she has the condition.

It's interesting that Ricky's sounding off about the incident -- he's hosted the Golden Globes 5 times, and always roasted celebrities left and right ... yet no one ever laid a hand on him.

In a truly shocking moment, Will Smith just smacked Chris Rock in the face after the comedian made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith at The Oscars.

Chris was up on stage Sunday presenting for Best Documentary, but before he started naming the nominees ... he was firing off zingers to the crowd, and eventually landed on Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.

Chris made a comment about Jada's shaved head ... saying he couldn't wait to see 'G.I. Jane 2' -- which got some groans from the crowd, to which he just sorta shrugged off.

Chris didn't think he'd crossed a line, but Will clearly did ... because he stormed the stage and literally socked the dude in the face. A stunned Rock exclaimed, "Wow. Will Smith just smacked the s*** outta me."

The American broadcast on ABC muted, and even froze, but in other countries it continued ... and Will shouted "Keep my wife's name out your f****** mouth" twice to Chris.

Chris eventually gained his composure again and carried on with handing out the Oscar, but the room was left tense with a sense of unease.

Jada has been public with her alopecia diagnosis for a good while, documenting her struggle with hair loss.

As of now ... Will and Jada are still sitting in the crowd.

Jake Paul wants in on the Will Smith vs. Chris Rock feud -- the YouTuber-turned-fighter is offering both actors $15 MILLION to take their beef to the boxing ring!!

Shortly after the slap heard around the world went down at the Oscars, "Impractical Jokers" star Sal Vulcano joked about how much the Most Valuable Promotions founder would cough up to get both legends in the ring for an epic event for the ages.

The 25-year-old fighter -- who previously offered Pete Davidson and Kanye West $30 milli each to face off in the ring -- delivered on his new proposition late Sunday night ... claiming he already has $30 million set aside for a Smith vs. Rock bout.

"I got $15m for Will Smith and $15m for Chris Rock ready to go," Paul tweeted ... adding he already has a date in mind.

"Let’s do it in August on my undercard."

FYI -- The biggest Pay-per-view ever is 4.6 million buys for Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao in 2015.

A Will vs. Chris fight would undoubtedly be successful, but don't hold your breath on it ever happening -- after all, both guys have all the money in the world and it would be quite the height/weight disadvantage for Rock ... but Jake's got the financial backing to make it happen.

The entertainment world wasn't the only one shaken up by Will Smith's Oscars slap on Sunday night -- notable sports figures, including Deion Sanders and Patrick Mahomes' wife, also couldn't believe what they saw.

Just minutes after Will smacked Chris Rock on stage at the Academy Awards over a joke the comedian made about Jada Pinkett Smith ... Sanders commended Rock for taking the blow.

"Chris took it like a STANDUP GUY LITERALLY!!! WOW WOW WOW!" Sanders said on Twitter, before adding, "Lord help us please help us Love each other especially in front of company."

Brittany Mahomes, meanwhile, chastised Smith for letting his anger turn into physical violence.

"You. Don’t. Slap. Someone," the Kansas City star quarterback's wife wrote on Twitter.

Others in the sports world commented on Will as well ... with Steph Curry even cracking a joke on social media over it.

The Golden State Warriors point guard made the quip while praising the Stanford women's basketball team for its big victory on Sunday night.

"This was loud!!!" Curry wrote. "Like that slap on that other channel."

New Las Vegas Raiders star Chandler Jones made a 'Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air' jab after seeing the on-stage swing ... writing on Twitter, "Got in one little fight and we all got scared."

NBA star Bradley Beal added, "Smack the taste out his mouth," while Baltimore Ravens QB Lamar Jackson wrote on Twitter in disbelief, "He slapped that boy fr ? Or I’m trippin."